Demons. Everyone has them.

Dirty little secrets. Everyone has those too.

But what if your demons WERE your dirty little secret?

My secret, dirty demon was Isacc Leahey.

He'd been sweet, as long as I knew him. Sweet and ridiculously hot. We'd been friends for a while, and I'd liked him since the beginning, but then one day he just... Stopped. Stopped talking to me. Stopped hanging out with me. Stop acknowledging me. He didn't answer my texts or calls... Then we went into high school and he stopped even looking at me with guilt. He used to look guilty. I thought I hated it. Now I miss it.

One day I was out on the field, watching Lacrosse as I always did. No, I didn't just watch it because Isacc was there and I loved him. That was all in the past. Now it was sophomore year and there was a new boy. Christian. He was on the team too. He liked me and we'd been having a thing for a while now. He was supposed to ask me out after practice, as I heard.

I cheered him as he got a score. "CHRIS! WHOO! GET EM BABY!" I clapped and cheered and hopped on my toes, beaming at him. He air kissed me through his helmet and I air kissed him back.

Isacc saw me.

It was the first time he'd really looked at me since he ditched me and I had to move on quickly or break down. He looked from me to Christian, his face twisted. His eyes met Scott McCall's and the two boys seemed to share silent words.

Isacc groaned at something and sent back to practice. After practice, I ran up to Christian and enveloped him in a hug.

"Babe, that was amazing!" I beamed. He looked at me, then his eyes focused on something behind me. His eyes were back on me so fast I wasn't sure I'd seen anything, so I didn't check. I trusted him. His face looked right now though and worried. "What's the matter?"

He took me to the side. "I have to tell you something..."

"Yeah?" I was excited. He was just nervous.

"I don't like you."

My smile didn't falter, waiting for the 'I love you.' It didn't come.

"What?" I asked, still unfazed. He looked to the side, his eyes lingering longer and a smug look on his face. He relaxed, as if breaking some stiff thing. As if... Breaking character after a long time playing it.

No. Stop.

"I mean what I say. That little thing we did? It was to do what we did last night." He shrugged and I was reminded of the things he spoke of. My stomach turned. No.

"B-but-"

"Don't think too hard dear. You're really amazing. I mean... The sex was fantastic." I flinched at the word like he'd slapped me, feeling dizzy, my smile finally gone. "You see your friend over there? She bet me two weeks. Two weeks to get into your pants. It took me a week and a half." He spit the word and I stumbled back.

No.

"She said if I had sec with you, she'd have sex with me. She thinks I like her too... Man you both are gullible. And her body." He kissed his fingers. "Perfection. It's going to feel great. But don't think about that. Just know that us? We're done."

Then he walked away.

I stared, shocked and stuff, at nothing for a while. Then I stumbled back again and looked around. Christian was standing with some of his friends. They looked at me and laughed. I covered my chest by crossing my arms and walked away quickly.

Someone whistled. "That ass must have felt great in your hand!" Someone yelled more to me than Christian. They all laughed.

Tears were falling before I even got to my car. I slid into the drivers seat as the sobs took over, choking me.

Why can't I be happy? I loved Isacc, he ditched me out of no where. I love Christian... I loved my mom and she ignores me almost as Isacc does, all the way till she left me. My dad died. WHY CANT I BE HAPPY?

I began pounding on the wheel. "Why-can't-I-be-happy?" I demanded every time I made contact.

I finally stopped, resting my head on the wheel.

"What happened?" A familiar voice asked. No. Not him. Not now.

"Go away, Isacc!" I spat.

"Nice to see you too."

"Go. Away!"

"Why?"

"Because I'm crying."

"So?"

"I don't want you to see me crying."

"Why not?"

"Because!"

"Because why?"

"BECAUSE-" I stopped myself, instead grabbing the wheel hard and using it to shake my whole body. "JUST. GO."

Silence.

"I'm sorry."

I sighed. "You have nothing to be sorry about."

"Yes I do."

I looked at him. "What's that?" I asked.

"I left you."

I rolled my eyes. I tried to start my car but it wouldn't go. Damn car broke down. Of course. Cue the cheesy romance music.

I got out of my car and slammed the door shut. "Leave me alone. I want you to this time."

He winced. "I didn't mean to!"

I scoffed. "I'm sure! You just... Accidentally ditched me. Did you just forget I existed Isacc?" I'd begun walking away and he followed behind me.

"No... I just... A lot happened!" He sighed.

I stopped. "Is it your dad?" My voice was soft and I allowed myself this moment to be concerned.

"My dads dead," he said, not bitterly but not happily either. I totally understood his bitter-sweet feelings about it. I knew everything. I didn't offer my condolences, knowing it wasn't a thing to be super sad over.

I simply said, "oh."

"Yeah..." Then his head snapped up. "You care?"

"I care. A little. As a rational, big hearted human being I care. Not as a friend." I added the last part, my voice hardening after I admitted I did indeed care.

"So... You don't like me anymore?" He asked softly.

I looked at him. "I hate you Lehay." He looked totally crushed and I felt a pang in my chest. No. I hate him! Good!

"Well, I miss you. We used to be good friends. We used to-"

"We used to do a lot of things. A lot of boyfriend and girlfriend things. All the time. We might as well have been." I scoffed again, rolling my eyes and looking away. No, Christian did not take my virginity. He did, however, take my pride. For a second.

He smirked. "We did, didn't we?" He groaned. "I miss that! Not only that, I miss you! I miss talking to you. Staying up late texting you. I miss seeing you in school! I miss being with you, falling for you..." He whined.

I glared at him. "You think I don't? I missed you for a year! I fell apart slowly and had to put myself back together for a year! I was in love with you, you ass hole!" I took a step back when I said it. Shit.

"You- you-"

"I did. I loved you. Once." I rubbed my arms and looked away.

"So... There's nothing there? Not a single shred? Not a like? Not a piece of love for me in your heart?" He asked, taking a step towards me.

"You dashed it all Lahey. All. Of. It." I spat.

"Then, this doesn't feel weird? Tingly?" He didn't do anything, despite his words.

"What?" I looked up-that was my mistake. He smashed his lips to mine, slipping his left hand in my belt loop and his right hand behind my head. Immediately my body responded and my mind went blank, letting my limbs take over. They went to his hair, pulling him closer to me. I pushed myself against him, months of wanting him-years of wanting this-coming back to me all at once.

I groaned, a feeling of warmth flowing through my body. It was as bitter-sweet as the news about his dad was.

He pulled away and I whimpered.

He chuckled. "None?"

"Shut up Isacc."

"I love you too."

"Shut up and kiss me damn it."

"Don't have to tell me twice."