A/n: okay so I didn't stop writing. But I'm just going to do what comes to mind. Which is usually Stiles stuff. So if you want something different with Stiles or you want someone else, MESSAGE ME. Like seriously. Omg. I know people are reading this. Right? 😂 If you like what I wrote that much then okay. But if you have an ideas.... 😇😇😇

I LOVE YOU! BEYEIIIII!!
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Stiles and I were on my two person couch. He sat on the left, straight up and down. I had my head on the arm rest of the right, my legs draped over his lap and my feet in the air hanging over the armrest on the right.

He had my hands in his and was playing with them, and we were talking. We'd been talking for hours.

I missed this. So much.

"And then you just circled all the ones you didn't know?" I asked him, eyes wide and mouth open, smiling.

"Yeah! And I PASSED!" He said. We busted up laughing.

"And then... Then..." He was laughing too hard to continue.

I sighed. "I love you, Stiles."

He smiled. "I lo-"

I phone went off. I held up a finger. "I want to be able to savor the moment when you say it. Let me take this."

I pulled or my phone and put it to my ear. I was still smiling. "Yeah?" I said, answering the call.

"Y/n?" It was my mom. And she was crying.

My smile faltered but Stiles touched my thigh and I smiled again. "What's wrong mom?" I was worried but untouchable. Nothing could ruin this right now. Not in this moment. Not with Stiles.

"Grandma's dead."

I froze. My face, still in that please smile, stared at one spot on the wall. My throat closed and I say there, trying to process the blunt confession. "What?" I said. It surprised me. Not only did it come out, it was firm and unshaken. Firm.

"Grandma's... Dead."

My grandma had had cancer the past month or so. She's gone through kemo and radiation and we thought everything was okay. Guess not.

My face slowly fell, my body loosing every ability to move as my jaw slacked. My smile fell away as if I had never smiled in my life and my jaw dropped a little. I was still unblinkingly staring at the same spot on the wall. Stiles grabbed my hand. He was still smiling. It looked foreign. Wrong. Mocking me with his happiness.

"You okay?" He asked lightly.

I worked my jaw but nothing came out, no matter how hard I tried.

"How?" I managed.

"We found her... Dad did. I was worried because she hadn't been responding..." She fell into sobs again.

I was frozen, but my brain still worked by instinct. I was able to process that not only was she dead, but she had been for over 24 hours. Holy fucking shit.

"Are-are you okay?" I whispered.

"I'm dandy," my mom said sarcastically. She paused. "I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

By some instinct all I could think was to keep positive. Shock, my brain told me. "Yeah! I'm fine. Just worry about you," I reassured her, a tight smile finding my mouth somehow. It felt fake and wrong. Even more wrong than when Stiles was smiling. He wasn't anymore. Now he'd realized something was wrong and he looked worried.

"Dear, if you need to talk..."

"No! I'm fine. Really." I found the firm positivity in my voice repulsive. I should be breaking down. But none of this showed on my face. The only sign that something was off was that I still stared at the same spot. I still hadn't blinked.

It was so easy and natural to lie. To fake my emotions. To hide them. I was okay. And it was believable. I felt numb. Unaffected. Shock, my brain repeated. That made sense.

"Okay. I'm going to let you go now," she said slowly. I nodded.

"Okay," I said, realizing she couldn't see me.

The dial tone sounded and I let my hand slowly drift to my lap. My smile stuck to my face sickly and I didn't want to move in fear of breaking down.

"Y/n?  What's the matter?" His beautiful brown/honey eyes looked at you, large and worried. I could get lost in those eyes. Had, countless times. Now I looked at them with huge eyes of my own.

"My-my grandma..."

He immediately enveloped me. Upon saying those words, I busted into tears. My grandmother was more my mom than my mom was. She always supported me, believed me. She was always kind and understanding. She listened. She loved me.  And I loved her. She was there when my own mom wasn't-couldn't be.

"I don't know why I'm crying. I feel the same, like nothing happened." I said around my tears.

"You're subconscious is probably working faster than anything else. You know that she's gone and it hurts, but you're in denial too." He cooed, rubbing my back.

I smiled painfully through it all. "You're hot when you get all smart," I said.

He shushed me. "Just grieve. Let yourself hurt. It'll be better. Think about it again and again until it completely registers, then let it all out. I'm here for you, Y/n. I always will be."

I was sobbing, but his words made me feel better, just a little. I took his advice and forced myself to accept what had happened. When it hit, I let myself hurt. I broke down completely in front of him. I was totally defenseless, completely weak. But I didn't care. I could worry later. Right now, I needed to let it out.

We sat there for a long time, him holding me, still, not trying to comfort me so I could hurt now and get it all out, and me clutching him, sobbing uncontrollably. After a while, my sobs slowed to crying. I silently let tears fall.  At this point, he finally started comforting me, rubbing my back and pulling me completely onto his lap, baby style, curled into his chest.

Finally, my tears stopped falling and I had hiccups. My breaths were still all over the place and my face was soaked and snotty, but I was okay. I hid my face in my sleeve, wiping my nose. I didn't want him to see me all gross like this. Not completely. I'd sacrifice my shirt for that. It wasn't like I couldn't just clean it anyway.

"Look at me," he whispered.

I peeked at him. He smirked and pulled my face to him, kissing me. Thankfully I'd wiped my face, cause this would totally be gross.

He kissed me firmly and passionately, somehow showing his strong affection for me without moving. I wrapped my arms around his neck and ran my hands up, slipping them into his hair. I shifted so I was straddling him.

He responded, moving his hands to my hips and moving his lips now, tilting his head a little.

"Thank you," I whispered against his lips.

"Helping the girl I love isn't something I should be asked to do. Or thanked for. It should be expected." I smiled, pulling back, just to put my forehead to his.

"Say it again," I whispered.

"I love you, Y/n. I love you so much." He said intensely, looking at me deeply.

I relaxed. "You have no idea how good that feels," I sighed.

He groaned. "You have to say it back! It feels so good when you say it." Then he paused. "I know EXACTLY how it feels to hear the person you're completely in love with say they love you back."

Pausing, I smiled peacefully. "I love you too." He kissed me and I kissed back. We sat like that for a very long time.