The Poet's Escape by Alice_Salvo
Disclaimer: The following book critique is intended to provide constructive feedback and suggestions for improvements, and is not a substitute for professional book editing services. It should not be considered a definitive assessment of the book's quality and potential. The author is highly encouraged to consider these comments as a starting point for further enhancing and refining their work, but ultimately, the power to make final decisions regarding their work rests solely with them.
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Title: The Poet's Escape
Author: Alice_Salvo
TEE Critic: Elocin_Aeb
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STORY INFORMATION.
At first glance at the cover, one could easily discern that the book would belong to the romance genre. I'd say that the cover fits the story and the genre of the book. At the same time, although the cover depicted its romance aspect, it did not tell me that it would be about a coming-of-age story. The background of the cover, which is yellowish, reminded me of the setting being in a rural place and gave me the sense that it could also be historical fiction, which it is not.
The image of the two faces (who if I'm correct are the main characters, Gale and Ethan) is a perfect choice on the other hand. Since graphics and book covers are not my forte, I can only suggest to the author that they should include elements that can portray the story's theme, which centers around coming-of-age as well as traumatic events and the importance of mental health and such themes.
The title "The Poet's Escape" identifies the characters involved and it gives a little description about themselves already. By the title, itself, a reader can already tell that the story is about a poet or someone who writes poetry and that they are trying to escape from something. The title focuses on the goal of the characters the readers will be following, highlighting one of the essences of the story. I like the author's choice to name the story this way as it adds allure to the story and pushes readers to read its blurb and be curious about it.
Speaking of blurbs, the blurb of the story establishes the status quo of the characters. In the blurb, the two main characters of the story are introduced, where Gale struggles in her own home and Ethan deals with his nightmares from his bullies. The blurb already sets up the status quo that both Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 will tackle and elaborate on. On top of that, the blurb tugs you with its gripping last paragraph that tempts your curiosity to find out how these characters will deal with the realities they are trying to escape.
NARRATIVE ELEMENTS.
The structure of the plot and its story were well-constructed. I can tell from the shifting perspectives and the coherence of the story that it was outlined before it was written. I also sense that each chapter is written with care and mindfulness so that it can come out the best way it can. I also noticed that in every chapter, it was almost as if there was a plot diagram-it had its introduction, inciting incident, climax, falling incident, and resolution. Although it is not strictly followed in every chapter, the chapters come around in a full circle, having a story of its own.
There was one scene in Chapter 1 that I liked so much, where Gale jumped out of the window and swung herself in the branches of the acacia tree. I just thought of it as something fun and interesting to include in a story as it brings depth to the character, showing off one of the many ways Gale tries to escape her home and her reality, which is by sneaking out. Also, if I am not mistaken, the acacia tree is the same tree that she and her mother planted when she was a child (please correct me if I am wrong in understanding).
I am not sure if I got this correctly, but the setting of the story is fictional. The author can correct me if I am wrong, but I do believe that is fictional since I never heard of streets in the Philippines being named Gideon. I do not know if this guess is also correct, but are the places mentioned named after the books of the Bible? If so, I can see the connection of it to the story, especially to the moral aspect of the story that focuses on overcoming challenges and tragedies in life.
The premise of the story is well-established already in the first two chapters of the story, with gripping scenes that make you want to learn more about them and crave more about their story. The author did an excellent job in fitting the introduction of Gale and Ethan in the first two chapters of the story, as many stories tend to extend and elaborate the daily, mundane life of their characters before the inciting action. In my opinion, the first two to three chapters of a story must be able to tell and elaborate on the "normal" life of its main characters, because it serves as the introduction to the story. An introduction before the characters' lives change.
This also proves another point of mine, which is in its pacing. As I said earlier, the introduction should be well-established by Chapter 3 as Chapter 3 onwards is the line headed towards the inciting incident/rising action. Being able to complete the introduction of the characters' "normal" life in two chapters allows the author to have more space for scenes and chapters that would lead to the conflict and the inciting incident. The story is completed and only has 30 chapters. In my opinion, this story is a fast-paced read that highlights the importance of one's mental health and how to face and cope with the existential crisis and tragic realities of one's life.
On the flip side, although I stated that the introduction of Gale and Ethan is well-established in the first two chapters, there was a drastic contrast between the impact of their introductions. For me, Gale's introduction was more impactful than Ethan's, objectively. Gale's "normal" life is explained in detail as it occurs within her own home, shown through a narrative sequence of her everyday life, and that builds the ongoing conflict in her part of the story. Ethan's "normal" life was not fully explored in Chapter 2 as only bits and pieces of his past revealed glimpses of his trauma and what he is suffering from.
I can understand the author's intentions for keeping Ethan's story introduction that way, but I would recommend that they add more narrative about Ethan's daily life, like in his workplace, which was also mentioned out of nowhere. From Chapter 2 alone, readers can tell that Ethan is suffering from anxiety and depression, and based on the blurb, readers are informed that Ethan is taking therapy for it. In contrast, Gale's story and conflict derive from her family. Still, I believe that Ethan's conflict will continue to elevate as the story progresses, especially with his growing interactions with Gale.
Since the critique is only up to Chapter 5, I was a bit disappointed that I was not able to get to the part where they would meet at an angel statue. However, their interactions would also increase because they work at the same bookstore, Lectura. The lack of details in Gale and Ethan's POV complemented the foreshadowing work being developed as the story progresses. The mentions of Kuya Carlos and the letters Gale makes every night foreshadow a past that would explain the current situation of her family. While bullying and harassment that Ethan endures every day, like being called "bakla," "faggot," etc., foreshadows a part of his past that was yet to be explored.
WRITING STYLE.
Right off the bat, I noticed how the author uses deep Filipino words, but not so deep as to not be able to understand its meaning. They used words that were deep but familiar to most readers, especially to those who often read Filipino stories. But as someone who reads mostly international books and writes in English, the way Filipino and English are incorporated and how Taglish is used is comprehensive, because I was not confused nor baffled by the transitions between English and Filipino.
As for the English voice of the story, it was written in an easy way to understand and not made difficult by twisting and rearranging words to make it sophisticated, or by adding extra layers of fancy and flowery words. Both the English and Filipino were straightforward in getting their point across but at the same time, the author can utilize literary devices like imagery and figures of speech in their writing.
I honestly love the writing style of the author as it uses literary devices in a conspicuous way that you won't even notice. Like it was written within the story and not just placed there to add extravagance to the story. Imagery and figures of speech were both used in its Filipino and English voices like in Chapter 1, the imagery of Gale's house also described the fragility of their family. The author used English and Filipino to describe and explain this connection, and the transition didn't feel awkward or forced.
The way scenes are described, and actions are written vividly shows you directly what was happening at that moment. The author hooks you into a scene through imagery that is both symbolic and literal, adding figures of speech to create the effect of feeling as if you're in the scene yourself. The use of imagery and figures of speech by the author evokes emotions and portrays the feelings of the characters that any reader would be able to relate to. One good example would be Ethan's nightmare at the beginning of Chapter 2. For me, that scene was vividly written, and the way the words were chosen and punctuated added a suspenseful feeling to the reader.
There are some word choices of the author that I do not entirely agree on. Some of these word choices are words that I've never come across in reading or I have never heard of being used in my life. These words included "tosh," "posh", "meet-cute", etc. If I'm correct in assuming, "posh" is a word used to describe rich kids in the neighborhood, while the other two words I'm not sure of the meaning. I recommend that the author use more common, relatable words and terms to describe people or things to not disrupt or confuse readers, especially if the target audience is teens and young adults.
The chapters must have also undergone drafts and editing for it to be this clean and concise, as there is an outline that the author is following, that allowed them to be able to focus on editing drafts to make a clean, well-written chapter. I applaud the author for this, as the cleanliness and coherence of the first chapters already managed to hook me into reading the following chapters and learning what comes next.
The formatting of the story is also something to be applauded for. It's as if the story was written to be published as a novel/physical book. The story had a disclaimer, dedication, and even a part dedicated to the praise it received from other readers and writers. As someone who has a physically published book, the fact that the story is relevantly like an actual novel made me think that the story was already published. For me, a story like this would have the least editing out of its other competitors when submitted for traditional publishing. It has the potential to be chosen and picked as a published book.
Each chapter of the story starts with a quote and each quote describes and explains what would happen in each chapter. As I said in the narrative elements section, where each chapter comes back into a full circle, the quote is evidence of that. The quote serves as an insight or a hint as to what scenes will happen in the chapter, and I like that addition to the story as it prepares you for what is ahead and what is about to happen in the chapter you are about to read.
Grammar-wise, spelling, and punctuation are all correct so far, and I don't see any reason to be ticked off. As someone who proofreads works now and then, both as a hobby and as a skill, I get ticked off with wrong spelling wrong punctuation, and wrong usage of terms and words. In this story, I didn't find any. I would also like to mention that Filipino words such as "sa'kin," and other Filipino-related words were spelled properly and used in the right way.
Sentences were also punctuated accordingly, which in my experience, is where many writers tend to make mistakes, especially in dialogues. Dialogues were punctuated correctly, and the actions and speakers of dialogues were added properly. This story is a good example of a story you can read to improve yourself in the technical aspects of writing. It also proves my earlier statement that the author edits and proofreads the chapters before they publish them on the platform.
Lastly, the consistency of every chapter when it comes to the quality of writing. The author puts their thoughts into every chapter they are writing. The way they write stories also gave me a hunch that the author is an experienced writer and an avid reader of both Philippine Literature and international books.
OVERALL EVALUATION.
As a conclusion to this critique, I would say that the story depicts a fictional yet realistic life that many readers can relate to and agree with. From the book cover to the blurb, and to the contents of each chapter, the author thinks thoroughly of how the story moves forward and how every aspect of the story can elevate the message and theme that it is trying to communicate with its readers.
I can't say whether the romance aspect of the story contributed to the story since I've only read until Chapter 5 of the story, but as an additional suggestion, making the romance aspect of the story relevant to the theme would certainly give a bigger impression on the totality of the story. Plot-wise, editing is still necessary to clean and be satisfied with the story, especially if the author thinks that the pacing is going too fast or too slow.
Overall, I think that this story can be submitted for traditional publishing, and it has the potential to be self-published as well, since it only needs polishing, in my opinion, when it comes to the technical aspect and writing style. Also, the quotes used in each chapter are a must in this story as they complement and add more depth to the progress of the story.
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