I leave the school yard and wave goodbye to some of the parents putting their children into their cars.

"Have a good weekend Ms Jameson" one of my students calls.

I turn and wave "you too"

I take my phone from my purse and turn it back on. I hadn't even looked at it that morning as I had woken late, and panicked, as we practically ran out of the door.

Mama picked Wren up Fridays and she was home already. Mama had sent a picture of them painting together. Wrens little nose was covered in yellow paint. I smile and text mama back.

H-
Just leaving school. Be with you and Picasso soon xxx

I return to my texts and see one from Teddy.

T-
Harper there are a tonne of pictures and articles online from last night. I would ask you to not look at them, but I know you will. What you will see is perfectly orchestrated bullshit by the media and not one picture shows a true representation of the moment or what actually happened. Avery is NOT kissing me. Isra is NOT fucking me. It pains me to even say those words to you. I didn't do anything!!! I swear to god and I know you won't believe me but I swear on Wrens life, yes on our child's life that I did neither of those things the pictures suggest last night. I love you and I hope you see through it all, but I understand if you are tired of this media bullshit that surrounds me and want to bow out of it. I wish I could too. I hate myself for being the reason you may hurt today but it's not true and I hope when you see the pictures you remember that. I love you so much, T xxx

***

I sit down on a bench and lean forward reading her text again as if for the first time. I couldn't even register what she was saying. Kissing Avery or fucking Isra?!

"What is happening" I say agitatedly.

I leave the texts and check my notifications and sure enough the notifications had gone off for Teddy this morning. I hesitate but I have to click it and look.

As the article pops up, I look away, closing my eyes and squeezing them shut to stop myself from getting upset. I could feel tears coming and I didn't want to let them get to me like this.

I force myself to think of Teddy's words "it's not real" I beg myself.

I look back again. I knew they weren't what they portrayed, because not only would Teddy not cheat, she also would never swear on Wrens life if she was lying. I was furious, with the media, with Isra, because what the fuck was he doing to her?!

I dial Teddy frantically and she answers instantly, out of breath, sounding like her voice was thick with emotion from crying.

"Teddy are you okay?" I ask worriedly.

She sobs.

"Harper I'm so sorry you had to see that" she cries.

I shake my head "Teddy I don't care about the pictures. I care about what happened to you last night. Clearly the picture of Avery is a bad angle, but Isra... why does he have you pinned against a fucking wall?" I ask angrily.

She can't speak through tears.

"Teddy please talk to me" I beg.

She sniffles. "He won't leave me alone" she confesses.

"I'm going to ring your management right now" I state.

"No Harper don't" she says firmly "I already called them about him when I woke up this morning... he's getting a warning"

"He should be fired Theodora" I say furiously.

I stand up and continue walking home.

"What happened did he touch you" I am pained to even ask.

"I was leaving and he caught me halfway down the alleyway... he just grabbed me by the waist and pushed me against the wall. He didn't do anything else. He just thinks I'm going to change my mind"

"No means no, doesn't he realise that, why does this keep coming up..."

"This hasn't ever happened to me before... most guys aren't like this" she confesses "we just both got unlucky"

I run my hand through my auburn hair and take a deep breath "I want to kill him" I confess.

"Me too... but I don't want to spend my life behind bars when I could be living in heaven with you... I just have to survive this place first" she whispers and I can hear the emotion coming back into her voice.

"It's weeks now" I promise "and when I get you back in my arms Teddy I'm not letting you loose... not ever"

"I love you...and I'm so relieved you believe me" she says almost gasping with the relief, she sounded so broken.

"Teddy I know you"

"More than anyone" she muses.

***
"Allie" I say coming into the family room. I smile to see her and Wren covered in paint on a sheet on the floor, a couple of masterpieces they were working on at Wrens feet, her little feet covered in red paint.

"Willa" Allie acknowledges.

"What are my two girls making" I ask.

Allie looks up, she looked adorable with her hair up and out of the way, her and Wren in matching overhauls. "I'm making Harper a valentines canvas with Wrens hands and feet" she says holding it up.

Wren turns and looks at me with a grin "lala" she acknowledges.

"Wren, good job" I say pointing at the canvas "your mama will love it"

She creases up her little blue eyes and laughs, stomping on the spare canvas.

I bend down on my sneakers and look to Allie and Wren lovingly. Wrens hair is getting more and more auburn as the months pass and I wouldn't be surprised if when she hit her teens, she resembled Alberta quite closely, with the icy blue eyes and the red hair. Harper too of course, but it was the eyes of Helena that we all observed, and felt such a comfort from, the genes in the women of this family were strong.

"Did you see the tabloids this morning" I ask Allie.

She looks to me downcast and nods "I didn't want to mention it to Harper until she got home" she confesses.

"Well I called Teddy on my lunch break and she was heartbroken Allie, that boy practically assaulted her and the press just took pictures and spread it everywhere. I've talked to her management and a lawyer too, the photos with that creep, honestly should be used against him not to promote him and get him five minutes of fame. I'm furious for her. Teddy is like...she's like mine Allie, and I want to go over there right now ... and bury him"

Allie stands up and walks over to me, running her hands down her overhauls.

"Willa, she's going to be okay. Harper will know it's fake. She's knows teddy" she says wrapping her arms around me.

I nod, but I feel so sick of it for her. "Allie..." I say.

She looks up to me "yeah"

"Wren is running her red painted hands right along our wall" I observe, pointing.

She follows my eyes and laughs, breaking away and running after Wren, who is trying to run off. She is stumbling and giggling as Allie swoops her up and throws her over her shoulder "you little minx" she says as they laugh together.

I can't take my eyes off of them. I wasn't there when Harper was a baby, but now watching Allie with Wren, her granddaughter, I felt a little sensation inside, of great joy, to watch them together, the love, the bond, the maternal instinct in action. I had never wanted children, but as I watched Allie with Wren, I felt like it would have been something... to create life with Allie. The revelation rocks me backwards, and I bump into the kitchen bar as I walk backwards, and away from the sight of Allie and Wren, and the brand new feelings it conjures, and the immense feelings of guilt as Morgan comes into my mind. I couldn't conjure these feelings when she wanted it most, and yet over a decade later they fluttered into my consciousness, like nothing at all, like they weren't decades late.

I think part of it was that Wren, she healed us all in her own way, just by existing, she was an elixir and we were medicated the moment she was born. There was a continuous wave of love and joy running through all of us, at the sheer existence of her.

Wren healed Teddy who committed to her instantly, an act of pure love, and she healed Allie and the empty arms her losses had created, filling them once again, with a grandchild. She had healed Harpers traumas from the conception, to finally see the light that comes blindingly out of the dark, and lastly she healed me, because loving her from the moment she entered the world, it made me realise I could have done it, I could have seen life into the world and loved beyond my trauma. I could have destroyed those demons that tormented me, if I had just faced it, if I had let myself, because new life was just that, fresh starts and new beginnings. I wasn't confident back then, I had no armour against it, my fears and anxiety had a vice like grip and I let Morgan down, a thought that still and always could destroy me, my heart beginning to race at the thought.

"Oh god no" I whisper to myself.

Allie appears, looking to me curiously with Wren in her arms "what's wrong" she asks.

I gather myself, and walk over, stroking Wrens cheek and leaning in to kiss Allie's. "Nothing... I have a little headache I'm going to go lie down" I say turning and disappearing up the stairs.

I walk into the bedroom and shut the door, slipping into the chair that looked out over the valley, a single tear rolling down my cheek.

The guilt began to eat me. Morgan wanted one thing from me, and I had never felt it, until now. I wouldn't obviously be starting a family at forty, I mean I could, but I didn't think that was what the revelation was. I think it was more of a realisation that watching Allie with Wren, I envisioned another life entirely where we had kids, and the thought didn't terrify me, it made me.... Happy?!.

The door opens and Allie appears "Harper is home" she announces "and she knows about the tabloids. She is fine, she's just spoken with Teddy. All is fine"

I breath a sigh of relief "thank god" I whisper.

Allie sits on my lap, and runs her arm around my neck, her other hand placed on my chest "what's wrong" she asks.

I hesitate and she leans down and kisses my cheek "come on Willa... I know you"

"I feel guilty" I confess.

She frowns "why, what have you done now" she asks eyebrows raised.

I look up to her, taking her hand and squeezing it. "I was watching you and Wren, and for the first time in my life... I... I imagined us having a family, having children together, and Allie it didn't terrify me. It made me happy" I confess, as my eyes fill.

Allie looks confused, as she sits up "Willa, you have never wanted children, not since you left home" she adds, and she looks a little thrown by my confession as she takes in what I've said, and in complete disbelief. Her eyes look back to mine "and you feel guilty because of Morgan" she whispers.

I nod, as tears fall and she wraps her arms around me and kisses my cheek "Willa you aren't in control of these things. I'm pretty sure if you could have forced these feelings to come to you back then, you and Morgan would have a basketball team by now" she says softly.

I nod, knowing as the words leave her, that saying it, had hurt her, but she said it to make me feel better. How could Allie do that? Put my pain above hers,but of course I know, because I have always done it for her too.

"I know, and I'm sorry to reveal all this to you now. I just feel so awful Allie. I feel so...sad"

"Willa it's okay" she says running her hand down my cheek as she pulls away "just let the feelings come away, it's good to let it out"

I take a few deep breaths, and steady my heart, looking out to the view ahead of us.

"By the way, I think my ovaries are empty" Allie says with a little smile "incase you were getting ideas" she says trying to lighten the mood.

"Well Kate Jameson had me late, so I expect I have a few floating around in there, but honestly, I don't want to have a baby... it was only that for the first time I pictured it... with you...and it was magical"

"I love you" she whispers and she places a kiss on my nose "you want to try and make a baby right now" she asks teasingly.

I run my hand over her freckled cheek, and the paint that is adorning it, and I pull her in for a kiss.

"Practice makes perfect" I whisper against her lips as she smiles.

Alberta was still suffering at my hand and yet she still wiped my tears away for someone else. I wasn't sure I deserved her, but I had to make it right. I had to make it so Allie felt seen, felt heard, and felt once again like this forever was ours... and ours alone.