The final bonus Chapter of Teddy - (it's a long one) 🥹 let's go!

My sixteenth birthday, the year I got my first car, my birthday present, a black G wagon with matching rims, heavenly creature she was, and she lasted me a whole year, before mom traded her in when I got caught out in a lie, a valuable lesson learnt, don't lie to your parents and get caught doing so.

"So, what my beautiful daughter, do you want to do for your sweet sixteen" mama asked.

I had no idea. I wanted to say that all I wanted for my birthday was Ava Montgomerys lips placed on mine... but that wasn't appropriate.

Ava had let me know she liked me at the winter formal but it had been four weeks and she hadn't mentioned it or even been alone with me since, long gone were the subtle ways she stayed close to me and stayed after school to keep me company, now she was on a path of avoidance as if she had freaked herself out with her confession. I liked Ava, I did, a lot, but I was not up for being a secret or something she was ashamed of, my parents were gay, I mean quite frankly queer ran deep in our family, and I was actually the fourth first born daughter in my mothers line who was queer, the fourth!! So I had no time for shame, but of course I understood that it wasn't the same for her, I wasn't without empathy for a first generation queer in a family of religious folk, it was not going to be the same for her, but I just couldn't engage in being a hidden love. I knew too much about hidden romance and what it can do to the people inside of it, and it was painful.

The thing was, I hadn't bet on how much I liked Ava, nor the way she was about to suck me into something I swore I would never partake. It's funny how love will rewire your brain, and have you make exceptions to those things that were originally strong "no's"

First love was something I could never have expected to feel the way it truly felt, all consuming, all sense gone out the window, and as soon as her lips touched mine, it was game over to my expectations, and to hell with what I said I wanted. I just wanted more of her, and I would go through hell to keep her.

"Perhaps just a sleepover, the weekend before" I suggested, and she seems surprised I don't want a party.

"But we could throw a sweet sixteen party Wren" mama explains as she laid out the dinner plates on the table, and I laid the cutlery beside her.

"I don't know, when would I have it. I can't have it Christmas Eve" I remind her.

She stops for a moment in thought "New Years Eve would make a great party"

I nod "okay" I say thinking about it "maybe that could be fun... I could invite our year group...could we have it here, it's big enough" I ask.

She smiles "of course we can, perhaps we can get some heated outside space for the yard too, make it even bigger. Mom and me can invite some friends too" she says with a cheeky grin.

"Mama is this just a New Year's Eve party for you guys, with some added teenagers" I ask.

She coyly denies it "of course not"

"How is everyone" mom asks as she comes in with Olympia, who looks pissed off, they are both in their work out gear.

"What's wrong with Olympia" mama asks, as Olympia struts off through the house, slamming a door as she goes, which makes us all jump.

"Olympia" Mama shouts after her "you will wake up Bash" she chastises, looking to the slammed door. "I swear thirteen is the year of the devil"

"She lost her game..." mom explains "and she needs to work on her temper" she adds, kissing mamas cheek.

"Sounds like teenage Teddy" Mama muses.

"I was not that bad... my fuse was long enough to get me to a private area before I lost my shit..." she retorts "where as Olympia lost it on court, and told her team mate that she wouldn't be able to compete with five year olds, let alone the next tournament"

"Ouch" Mama says "that's not good"

"I asked Willa to come round at somepoint and give her some advice, because she won't take it from me, but she listens to everything Willa says"

"Just like you did" Mama replies.

Mom nods "okay, yes I see where you are going with this... we are not so different"

"Like not at all" Mama says under her breath, placing the last plate and adjusting the table for the five of us to eat in a moment.

Our routine on Olympias game days, and mine, was to eat later, whilst Bash was already put to bed, it was our girls only dinners, without food being thrown at us by our little brother.

"Sooo my party" I continue.

Mom turns around "ooh when is this party" she asks.

Mama looks to her "New Years" she informs her.

Mom smiles "perfect" she returns "we are due a good party in this house, it's been forever... who shall we invite" she asks mama.

I frown "Guys it's my party, let's not forget" I remind them.

"I know" mom says grabbing a drink of water from the fridge "but it's going to be huge" she says, taking a long swig of the water and wiping her mouth "plenty of space for your entire year if you wanted, and all of our friends too"

I roll my eyes. "Mom if you invite athletes, you know kids in my year will be all over them"

"I promise to not invite too many... Aunty Avery, Aunty Leah, Cams mom Ria of course, a few of the squad from Oregon, and Connecticut. Morgan can bring her kids, Josie will be thrilled, she loves them. Mama will invite her work friends, and of course Delilah, the family both sides wouldn't miss it either, and Gaga and LaLa can invite people too, it will be a party to blow any other party out of the water"

"As long as I get my own space, for under eighteen only" I ask.

They both nod in agreement "deal".

***
Soccer was something I loved. I played forward, on the right, and my right foot did all the talking for me. It had a mind of its own, and like mom always said "only play if you love it Wren, or you won't play well" and she was right.

The month that Ava had been ignoring me, my game sucked, because, I was at this time, more in love with her than the game, and this would be a common occurrence. It was like Ava and my soccer abilities were interwoven, it of course didn't help that Ava was on my team, she had played two positions, goal keeper, and now midfielder. Her passes to me this week were all absolute duds, either she was off, or I was, but we were messing up the teams vibe. I was not surprised at our out of state game this weekend, when coach pulled us aside, and went in on us.

"What the hell is going on" Coach Moyer asked hands on hips as she observed Ava and I sat on the bench in front of her.

I nervously pulled my yellow shorts down on my thigh, and tapped my cleats against the concrete. I looked to Ava beside me, her blonde hair pulled up and out of the way in a bun on top of her head, my auburn hair in a long pony tail. She looked a little sick with nerves, like she hadn't expected this telling off, Ava wasn't one for being in the wrong, she got straight A's and behaved impeccably, as her parents expected of her. This was her worse nightmare, I on the other hand, had been told off plenty before now, and it didn't bother me none.

What did bother me, was Ava's closeness to me right now.

With Ava looking a nervous wreck, I take the hot seat "I don't know what you mean coach" I return.

She turns her head a little and looks to me bemused "oh really Wren... not one clue as to why you and Montgomery are a catastrophic disaster on this pitch"

I look to Ava who throws me a frown, and then back to Coach "I mean... perhaps it's the weather... it's raining" I say weakly.

Coach laughs, but it's a pissed off laugh that echoes through the room, and makes me grip the wooden bench under my hands a little tighter.

"If the rain bothered you, than you wouldn't be on my damn team. Wren you are one of my best players, and I won't bench you... but Ava" she says pointing to her "I have other midfielders I can replace you with ... unless you guys can make me believe this can be fixed... Ava you are out ... I'm sorry. I can't lose this one, not because of stupid teen girl drama" she says frustrated and then she flings up her hand before I can talk "back chat is not invited Wren... you have zero say... and don't you dare lie to me...the other girls said you two have gone from attached at the hip, to zero communication"

I sigh because it's true. I couldn't lie my way out of this one. I foresaw a forced bonding exercise, coach loved to do that if any of us fell out, or needed work on our relationships.  I for one, would love a forced one on one with Ava, because I had questions.

"Okay tonight you two bunk up..." she demands.

Ava opens her mouth to complain, and Coach bends down to her level and looks her dead in the eye "uuhh" she says loudly, cutting her off with her sharp tone, and closing her fingers together in front of Ava's lips "don't you dare whine about it... get your bag and move it into Wrens room or vice versa and get back re- aquatinted , sort out this drama and put it to bed... because if you don't make friends and play nice, you are not playing at all Montgomery"

I try not to smile at coaches choice of words, because Ava's little heart would be wildly beating as the words "put it to bed"and "get re acquainted" were said, her nervousness evident as she tried not to look my way, and instead looked to the floor.

Coach left the room, and I slowly stood up, my cleats clicking against the concrete as I walked to the exit and followed her, leaving Ava sat behind me "you know it's not the end of the world Ava... we do need to talk" I say looking back, my hand on the door.

She looks up, her hazel eyes finally landing on mine "You have no idea what thoughts have gone through my mind Wren.I think perhaps you underestimate what being alone in a bed with you... what that would do to me" she confesses.

I'm taken aback by her honesty.

She knew I was gay right?! Of course I knew the thoughts she eluded too, because I had them too, thoughts that were not for friends, thoughts that involved the taste of her lips and the feel of her against me.

Oh, I had thoughts...but unlike Ava, mine didn't scare me, they set my soul on fire.

***
The days games were over. I sat in the motel room with my friend Devon, who was packing her bag up after a shower "So you and Ava are about to spend a forced night of making up together... what do you think is up her ass" she asks, throwing her bag over her shoulder and looking down at me.

I lie on the bed, with my cell in my hands. I look up to her, over the phone "no idea..." I lie.

She smiles "you guys didn't, like, hook up, did you" she asks with a grin.

I frown "absolutely not" I say throwing a cushion at her.

The cushion flies by her, and hits Ava square in the chest as she enters the room "ouch" she squeaks.

I sit up "so sorry"

Devon smirks at me "well I will see you girls tomorrow... don't pull each other's hair now will you" she says winking at me, and disappearing behind Ava and out the door.

Ava drops her bag to the floor and kind of stares at me, with this really weird look on her face. She turns back to the door, and I hear the lock click.

I swing my legs from the bed "I am just going to use the bathroom" I lie, excusing myself from her heated stare.

I walk into the bathroom and shut the door, standing at the sink and staring at myself in the mirror "don't freak out" I whisper to myself, and I run the faucet and use my hands to cup some water onto my face.

I look back to the mirror, assessing my appearance. I take my hair down from its pony tail and run my hands through it before pushing it back a little behind my left ear. "Just don't touch her, and we are good" I try and convince myself.

I take one last deep breath before exiting to the bedroom. Ava is sitting on the end of the bed, TV remote in hand, scanning the channels at speed, landing on nothing of interest but not really giving herself time to look. It was an avoidance exercise, and I understood that, because, even I, was suddenly nervous.

Two girls, teens, one bed, some hormonal surges, some questionable thoughts of one another. This was perhaps the most awkward, and yet thrilling moment of my teenage years, thus far, before I would hit sixteen and everything became a little thrilling with Ava.

"So you want to talk about these thoughts you have"  I tease, trying to break the tension.

She looks to me, and turns the TV off, placing the remote down and turning to me as I sit down on the bed, leaning against the headboard, she crosses her legs and sits opposite me. I sit and take my time, my eyes wondering over her face, taking in details I loved, her cute nose, her full lips, her scar on her jaw from a bike accident as a six year old. Every inch of her face, I knew it well, too well, like perhaps I had looked at her for many years, with a lot more interest than a friend. I loved her, mostly as a good friend, but more recently it was morphing into something I didn't quite recognise.

I jump a little as her eyes flick up to me, her gaze finding mine on her, and she takes a deep breath. She is wearing oversized basketball shorts, and a red and white long sleeved t shirt with a soda company on it. She is dressed for bed, and I am too, almost identically, but my t shirt was my moms old team merch, her number and name on the back, it was red and navy and my shorts were navy cotton bed shorts, that suddenly felt a little short as I pulled my knees up to my chest.

"I don't want to feel this way Wren" she begins.

I stay quiet, and watch her frown, as she starts to unravel what's on her mind.

"I literally think about you night and day. I'm a little scared about how much I want to kiss you... because I shouldn't want to kiss you ... but somethings changed, and now it's all I think about. I've tried to stay away" she reveals.

I frown a little, to see the worry in her eyes, it genuinely does scare her. I can see the fear there.

"It will go away" I promise.

She shakes her head, her hand runs through her long blonde hair like she's stressed "it won't, but maybe if we did it, it would take the wondering out of it and I won't think it anymore" she says, as if to herself, and then she looks to me questionably "do you think it would help" she asks.

I widen my eyes to be asked that, because I wasn't sure I could answer without leading with my desire to do just that. I was not a good source to ask that question of. I shrug since it's safer than answering a question I would most definitely say yes to, even though I knew it wouldn't help at all.

"Wren" she asks, kneeling forward all of a sudden.

I tighten the hold of my knees.

"Yes" I ask apprehensively.

"Can I kiss you" she asks.

I instinctively lick my lips as she climbs over the bed, beside me. She holds her hand out "turn to face me" she asks.

I literally stop breathing like a normal human being at this point, my heart races as I let go of my knees and take her hand, adjusting myself so we are sat looking at each other, legs crossed, knees touching. She smiles as she looks to me closely, for the first time since the dance.

"Hi" she says, and she looks me over slowly, appreciatively, her eyes lingering on mine and then dipping to my lips and back again.

"You have such pretty eyes" she observes, and her cheeks lift into a smile "so bright and light blue..." she observes, biting down on her plump bottom lip.

"Icy" I suggest "As my grandmother would say"

She nods "very much so" she whispers "so beautiful" she observes, and it's like her breath catches in her throat, her bottom lip begins to shake a little, her eyes nervously take me in as if she is seeing me a little differently or feeling something new.

I recognised the way Ava looked at me right now, it was with an ache to connect, a desire to go further and I felt it too, because if she didn't lean forward and kiss me, I was about to.

"Wren" she asks, and her hand comes up and connects with my cheek.

I flinch a little, unused to the contact, the way her fingers tenderly cupped my flesh as my heart threatened to beat right out of my chest. Her eyes dilated, mine looking from hers, as they got closer, to her lips, which slowly seemed to open in anticipation, her tongue quickly wetting them, the sight of which made me feel warmth radiate down through my limbs.

My hand lands on her knee as she asked again "can I?...kiss you"

I nod, unable to speak, and she commits and leans forward, my hand unable to stop from squeezing her knee, as her lips connected with mine for the first time. A soft brush, a warm caress, and as her mouth opens to mine, a surge of warmth and butterflies take off in my belly, it's a euphoric sensation, and her kiss is so gentle, it's as if she is slowly discovering me. The delicate way our mouths slipped in and out of discovery with one another, it was like a  sensory overload, and my hands started to take on a life of their own, almost instinctively. They ran from her knees, and up her thighs. Her skin is so soft, she feels so good, and as I reach the top of her thighs, and take her hips, she lets out a moan into my mouth, and instantly removes her lips from mine.

She sits back, her hand covering her mouth.

"I'm sorry" she apologises.

"Don't be... it was...."

"Really good" she interjects with surprise.

I nod.

"A little too good" I confirm, and she slowly smiles, like she's relieved I felt it too.

"I want to do it again... just don't touch me" she begs, taking my hands and placing them in my lap.

"I didn't mean to" I confirm, rolling my eyes.

She reaches out and cups my cheek again "hey no touching" I say teasingly.

She raises her eyebrows in defiance "I never said I couldn't" she says tauntingly, and before I knew it, she was discovering me for the first time, for a long time.

It was an entire night spent kissing, no touching allowed, unless you counted Ava's stroking of my neck and my arms, which drove me a little insane as the kissing intensified... but this was a first for us both, and the kissing alone would be more than enough for a little longer yet.

Ava would discover on this soccer trip that once she started kissing me, she just couldn't stop, and so our game improved. We played back on form, coach was happy and we were... hopelessly falling into something we knew nothing about, love, and all that came with it, lying to not only our families about us, but perhaps ourselves.

***

My sweet sixteen, on the day of, it was just the family all coming together to love on me, my moms making a wish for me for the year ahead, a wish I now made too.

My wish this year was to make Ava my girlfriend, and continue to fall into love with her. After a month of kissing at any opportunity, getting a little more daring as our desires intensified, the love began to grow, and spread, and the falling became more of a sudden drop, landing heavily and with no chance of survival, this was happening and nothing could stop it.

"Christmas Eve is my favourite" Mama says excitedly, kissing my forehead. "My baby is sixteen" she muses, with tears in her eyes.

Mom comes up behind us both, and pulls us both into a hug "Harper, how did this happen... i want to keep her small" she acknowledges glumly, peppering my nose and cheeks in kisses.

"Moms, stop" I beg, squirming out of their arms.

"Our turn" Gaga announces, and she and Lala cross the room and throw their arms around me the same way "Wren you are our world" she whispers, kissing my cheek.

"And I think I speak for everyone, when I say, it only started to spin the day you rocked on into it " lala confesses, as they released me.

"Mine certainly spins quicker with you here" Gaga says affectionately, squeezing my shoulder, as she sat down beside me at the dining table.

"Our granddaughter is sixteen... somebody slow time down before she leaves us" lala adds, and mama sticks out her bottom lip opposite me.

"Willa" mom chastises "don't mention anyone leaving ..." she says pointing down to mama sat below where she is stood.

Mom makes a face, baring her teeth with the touchy subject, as she pointed to Mama.

We all laugh as mama turns quickly to look at her "Teddy if you are making fun of me" she curses, shaking her head.

Bash laughs out loud as he grabs another slab of birthday cake, shovelling it into his mouth before anyone notices, Josie joins him.

"Happy birthday big sister" O announces as she enters the dining room "what is this years Christmas wish" she asks.

Mama and mom pretend to seal their lips, since they never did tell anyone.

I raise my eyebrows and take a bite of the pizza in my hand "not telling" I say through the food in my mouth.

Olympia wiggles her eyebrows teasingly at me "I reckon I have a really good idea what it is" she says tauntingly " I saw something at school last week as I passed by the janitors closet, and it made me think of you and what your wish would be" she says menacingly.

I try not to choke on the pizza in my mouth, as I realise she of course meant Ava and I. She had pulled me into that closet between English and Algebra last Wednesday, her lips finding my neck for the first time and making me feel something quite unusual, and quite hard to ignore as parts of me throbbed that had never throbbed before.

"What does that mean" Mom asks curiously and she raises her eyebrows at us both "well" she pushes.

We both try not to laugh, mom was not stupid, she knew most of what we were up to before we even told her, or were caught. It was like she had done it all before, she most probably had. I had heard from my aunty Demi what a wild teenager she had been.

"Mom, she's teasing, it means nothing" I lie.

She shakes her head "I do not believe you little bit, but since it's your birthday, I will let this one fly"

"Teddy" mama says, taking her hand as she stands and leans into her lovingly "they are not always up to no good. I know it's hard to believe"

Mom looks from mama, to us both, and back again "Harper, I take it that this is the emotional trauma of our oldest baby turning sixteen talking, because you are never usually this gullible when it comes to these girls. They are most ALWAYS up to no good, and you are most ALWAYS on them about it"

"They can't do no wrong today" she whispers, leaning up to kiss her.

"Moms" I groan "less of the PDA, more of the present giving please"

Mom pulls out a dangling set of keys "like these" she asks.

O and I jump up from sitting, and squeal "a car" I ask running over and grabbing the keys.

Mom and mama smile excitedly "happy birthday baby" they both say.

"It's on the drive" Lala announced "I drove it up myself" she declares.

O and I run so fast to the front door, with Josie and Bash at our heels, and as we fling it open we both scream, so loudly, I expected every neighbour within a ten mile radius heard us.

I have tears flinging from my eyes as I am suddenly overcome with the gesture, and the present, a black G wagon with a red ribbon tied around it, a bow on the roof.

Mom places her arms around my shoulders from behind and leans her chin on my head "like it" she asks.

I turn and bury my face in her shirt, her familiar scent of coconut making me close my eyes and take a deep breath. My Mom was everything to me, my moms both were, but my mom, she made everything, including mama, feel so secure and safe. She had always been the constant in our lives, and nothing ever rattled her, she just made me feel so loved. I couldn't ask for better parents than mine, and I couldn't ask for a better birthday present, because my goodness my friends would be jealous, Cam would be drooling.

"I love it" I whisper.

Mama joins us, and kisses my forehead. "Go sit in her" mama suggests eagerly.

I jump out of the embrace, and down the steps, racing over to the car.

"Thanks Moms" I call out, before I jump inside, with O in the passenger seat.

"This is dope" O says running her hands over the seat, and the shiny console.

"It's beautiful" I say open mouthed, still unable to believe it.

A bike bell sounds behind us, and O and I both know who that is.

We step out of the car to see Cam and his broad grin "happy birthday" he announces, dropping his bike down and lifting me up in a hug "what the hell is that" he asks, placing me back down on two feet and pointing to the wagon.

"It's my new wheels" I announce.

He looks up to the porch, to the parents and grand parents "Can you be my moms" he shouts over.  Mom and mama throw a thumbs up, because quite honestly, he already was like their son.

"Cam" Bash calls, running over with gusto until he collided with him.

Cam throws him up on the air "hey buddy" he says ruffling up his dark hair.

"Can you come in and race with me" Bash begs excitedly, and his little dimples pop.

O and I both stand and watch Bastion in action, his little endearing face, his eyes widen like a little puppy and his entire face can only be described as the cutest dang thing you could see, and you most certainly never wanted to disappoint it. Cam was a sucker for Nomikos dimples, both Bashes....and Olympias.

"Let's ask Wren since it's her birthday" Cam replies, like Switzerland, trying to avoid the drama or hurting anyones feelings.

O stands next to him and leans against his arm "one day you are going to have to disappoint dear Bastion here... and he will survive Cameron" she informs him "I promise"

I frown a little, as I note the way Olympia kind of pauses, and looks a little too long at Cams profile, before she looks back to me.

"Well" he asks, unaware of her gaze.

She looks away and back to me, moving away from Cam as she spies my raised eyebrows.

I turn my attention back to Cam "Bash, one race on the console, and then I want Cam to myself" I threaten, but it's aimed at Olympia, who slinks away behind the G wagon out of sight.

"Yaaay" Bastion shouts.

Cam places him down as they take off to the house, to race on the tv.

I take off after Olympia and she turns half way across the driveway and sees me coming quickly behind her, and before she can speed off I grab her arm and bring her to the side of the garage. "What was that look" I ask.

She frowns "I don't know what you mean birthday girl" she returns sarcastically.

I shake my head "don't look at Cam like that" I plead.

She looks surprised, and then shakes her head "I don't, I don't, I promise" she returns, and she sounds sincere. To be honest, she looks sincere too. I could read Olympia pretty well and I wasn't sensing she wasn't being honest, but I know what I saw, perhaps though, she didn't, perhaps she had no idea.

***
New Year's Eve was my sixteenth birthday party, my moms were clearly using it as an excuse to throw a huge over the top party at the house. Mom had recently got a job coaching her old team, her career had changed and she had returned to the court, she just didn't take command of the ball, she commanded the team instead.

This party was no doubt a huge celebration for many different things, the guest list was vast, the catering was expansive, the bar was huge, the entire space behind our house was turned into a roofed event space. There was a giant area for my party, with double doors onto another open area, which had a dance floor, seated tables, light strung up everywhere, basically we had a DJ in each area, and the only difference was my area didn't have alcohol or sit down food, and theirs did. My area had every soft drink available to man, and a burger and pizza truck pulled up to it.

Some of mom and mamas friends were staying with us in the guest rooms, some had hotels nearby Morgan and her wife, moms friends, were staying with Luna and Hallee much to Josie's excitement, her and Hallee were good friends, they spoke online all the time, with supervision, both massively into baseball, Josie was eleven and a half, and Hallee was nine.

Mama told me once, that Morgan and lala used to date, but you know, I couldn't tell. They were never awkward when these get togethers occurred, just like old friends, and Morgan and her wife were cute together.

"Hey" Ava greets, arriving by my side.

The music is booming, and my friends are all jumping around to the music, the food is going down well too. It's a few hours after the party had begun, and although Ava and I hadn't been too obvious, we had still danced through most of the party thus far.

"Did I tell you how beautiful you look" i ask looking sideways to her, she smiles and nudges my shoulder.

Ava had a cute dress on, it was a soft material that frilled a little at the edges, a cheery but warm, red, like a holly berry and she had paired it with black converse high tops since girly was not her thing, it was her moms.

I couldn't help the way my eyes ran over her neck and chest, above the dresses edge, her skin glowing a little in the lights that strobed around the room.

"You did tell me, and did I tell you how sexy you look" she asks, looking me up and down, quite obviously checking me out, and not hiding it.

My dress was similar to hers, but green, a little shorter on my thigh, but my shoes were casual too, white converse.

"You did" I confirm with a teasing smile.

"I would like to give you your birthday present" she informs me, taking my hand.

I follow her as she leads me through the party. I wave to Olympia as she dances with her new beau, Cole, luckily Cam wasn't far away, dancing with Elena our friend and keeping an eye on them for me.

Mom and Mama didn't know about Cole yet, but they would not be happy, he was two years older, and Olympia did not need a boyfriend any time soon.

I laugh a little as Ava pulls me into the house, and we take the stairs "why does this present have to be ten miles from the party. I'm out of breath and gasping for a drink now" I tease.

She opens my bedroom door, and pulls me inside, her hands instantly taking my hips and pressing me into the wall as her mouth met mine.

The kisses were hungry, which was not a shock, as things had been progressing this way for weeks. But, as her mouth moved to my neck, and her warm tongue connected with my flesh, I yelped and pulled away, turning us so that she was now pressed to the wall and I was holding her arms.

"What" she asks, in the darkness.

The odd strobe of blue light hit her features, every five seconds, as they whirled around in the yard out back. "Too much" she asks.

I release her arms, and she instantly cups my cheeks "Wren talk to me" she asks "was I too much" she asks unsure "if I was I'm sorry. I can slow back down" she says worriedly.

"What's my present" I ask, licking my lips.

She looks to my lips, and back to me, the strobe of light hitting her as she looked back to me hungrily "it might be a little too much for right now, so we can save it" she informs me.

I shake my head "I want it now" i confirm, and I take her hips and draw her back against me.

"But you might not be ready" she admits, like she is now self conscious of her actions, and being respectful. She takes my hands from her hips and she strokes my cheek, kissing me.

It was a soft and slow kiss, a loving brush of her tongue against mine, loving but wildly sensual.

I break from the kiss unable to take it any longer "if you want to go further... I'm ready" I confess.

She smiles relieved "you are" she asks.

I nod "I am".

The night of my sixteenth birthday was the night Ava and I slept together for the first time. It was of course awkward, at first, hands discovering each other for the first time, and trying to figure out where to touch, and how, and what to do. That would certainly all take time, but this time it was more innocent, it wasn't so much, the act of sex, it was just the first touches, of skin on skin, the first kiss not on lips, the first taking off of each other clothes. This was small things, that at this point, were more than enough. More intimate and intense acts of discovery most certainly came quick after this. We blew the roof off of our hormonal surges,  and took the brunt of its unbridled desire, one sleepover at a time... until....

***
A year later...

"Did you hear that" i ask Ava as she comes back up from under the covers, her breasts pressed to mine.

"What" she asks, her hair all messy and her cheeks pink.

"I thought I heard the door" I say looking toward it, but not seeing any light coming in. "Never mind it was probably my imagination...it's like two a.m" I say, checking my cell beside my bed.

"Then let me get back to what I was doing" she teases, leaning up and kissing my lips "I love you" she whispers, caressing my cheek.

I lean down and kiss her again "me too" I confess "sooo much" I say as she kisses me again intensely.

Ava's lips were so soft and sensual when she kissed me in moments of passion, this was our sixth weekend in a row of sleepovers. We had been together just over a year, mostly secretly, my parents still thinking we were the best of friends. I knew once they figured it out, that the sleepovers would end, and life as we knew it would change, no more weekly discoveries on a Saturday night, no more sex in a bed.

***
"Teddy" I hear "Teddy wake up it's an emergency"

I hear that one word, and sit bolt upright "what happened" I panic.

Harper grabs my cheeks "this is going to fucking kill you buuuut, our eldest daughter is having sex" Harper announces.

My eyes widen, and I jump up and stand on the bed, head in my hands, wobbling a little in the legs on the mattress "what" I ask "with who" I say raising my voice.

Harper jumps up on the bed too, and covers my mouth "shhh" she begs "I'm going to let you take two seconds to put two and two together..." she declares, and she stares into my eyes and counts slow "ONE.... TWO"

I take her hand from my mouth "Ava" I realise out loud "oh my god that little shit... she pulled a 'sleepover' on us.... Multiple fucking times Harper"

She nods and looks shell shocked "I just popped my head in, because I heard a noise as I came back from the bathroom..."

I reach out and cover her mouth, stopping her mid sentence "do not tell me anything, oh god. So they are having sex under our roof, oh fuck, you know her parents are religious... if they think Wren has defiled their daughter"

Harper wrinkled up her nose "I think it kinda looked like she was defiling our daughter back there, but you know potato... potawtoe"

I glare back at her "Does this feel like a time to crack a joke" I ask.

She holds up her hands "you usually do" she argues.

I realise it's quite true, we are having a role reversal. I'm usually calm when it came to our daughters teenage escapades, and Harper was the worrier.

"I think perhaps teen sexscapedes are not my calm point... shit I can't believe we already arrived at one of our children having sex... whose going to talk to her" I ask.

Harper shrugs "both of us I think" she suggests, and I nod.

"She can say goodbye to that car" I promise, and we sit back down on the bed and try not to let it get in our heads that our child was three doors down, doing god knows what, and for how long had this been going on? ...Lordy.

"She also seems to have a tattoo we don't know about" Harper adds, and I fly back into the air.

***

When Ava left to go home after our sleepover my moms surrounded me at the front door, mom taking my shoulder, and guiding me back to the kitchen. It was quiet, and I realised my siblings were not here "where is everyone" I frown.

Mama sits opposite me "gaga and lala took them for breakfast" she announces.

I look to them both, mom is pacing and looks unusually irritated, and mama looks to me quite seriously and shakes her head, like she's so mad she can't speak.

"Well you guys are freaking me out" I say folding my arms across my chest, and looking to them.

Mom stops pacing, and instead walks around the table and lifts my sleeve up revealing the tattoo I had got six months ago, illegally of course, the first of many that would infuriate them.

"What the hell is this" Mom shouts "this is illegal Wren, you cannot just go around getting tattoos at sixteen and seventeen years old, you need an adults supervision and sign off... who signed off on this because I'm going to personally kill them" she shouts, dropping my sleeve dramatically, and going to sit beside mama.

I look to them both, and sink down into my seat, oh shit this was bad, they were furious. I couldn't tell them that Cameron had a tattoo kit and had been doing it on the side for a year or so in his moms garage. Ria never even went in there, she didn't check in when we all hung out, and honestly, Cams garage had seen a lot over the last year, parties, tattooing, sex and god knows what else. He may have been the sensible one of us, but he also liked to offer us all a place to do these things safely.

"Nobody, and it was just some random guy we met at a party like six months ago" I confess.

Moms head drops down into her hands on the table, and Mama gasps "you've had it six months" she shouts, and mom sits back up.

"Harper the more concerning thing is she got this at a party, by some random guy, with a fucking needle" she shouts.

They both look to each other, like steam is coming out of their ears "I don't have to tell you how dangerous that is do I Wren, or how stupid that is to let someone use a needle on you, which could be dirty or diseased" mom chastises.

"Wren" Mama shouts loudly and I jump, they had never been so mad with me in my life.

"I understand and I'm sorry... I won't do it again" I lie, and I lie because I already had been again.

Cam had also tattooed both Ava and I, a tiny little heart, mine was just below my underwear line. Ava's was in the same spot, an intimate place that nobody else could see but each other, and my moms would certainly never see that.

"I'm sorry" I repeat, and I am because they were clearly infuriated.

I hated to disappoint them this much. Olympia was going to love to be the golden child for a bit after this, shit she should would eat this up.

Mama sits forward "Sorry won't cut it this time Wren, because not only have you done something permanent to your body, that you can never take back, which by the way I'm taking you to be tested for ... you also failed to mention that you and Ava are together romantically, and sleeping together, when you should be watching movies and braiding each others hair" mama says standing up and almost losing it.

Mom shakes her head "we are so disappointed in you Wren. I can't even tell you how much it hurts that you broke our trust in this way... for so long..."

"Oh please mom, like you didn't do this ..." I say shaking my head "I won't give up Ava" I say matter of factly.

They both turn to me surprised, and a little upset, looking to each other and back to me.

"We would never make you give up Ava" Mama says taking a seat again and reaching for my hand "You can still see her Wren this isn't about Ava, it's about you lying to us, and we won't have sex in this house Wren..."

"Fine, I won't do it again..." I say, sitting up and pulling my hand away "in this house" I add.

Mom rolls her eyes.

"No back chat this time Wren. I'm taking your car, your not seeing Ava unless it's in soccer after school for the foreseeable, and guess what ... no more sleepovers for you sunshine" mom adds.

"That's not fair moms" I argue, standing up.

I feel so mad, I didn't want less time with Ava, I needed more, not less.

"Wren until you can be honest with us,
and respect us and our home, you don't get to have the things you want...it's a lesson we all had to learn... hell my momma sent me to stay with Willa for an entire summer once, to keep me away from my boyfriend. It's just something parents have to do, when our children aren't honest with us" mom says matter of factly.

"Wren" mama says softer, changing her tone, she stands up, pulling me into her arms "we love you, we just don't like what you did...and you have to learn"

I know its true, I messed up, they gave me so much freedom, and I had taken advantage of it.

"I'm sorry" I say, and I mean it "I will do better, and I would love to have Ava over for dinner, when it's okay again. So you can meet her as my girlfriend"

Mama pulls back, and looks at me with a smile, and mom too "girlfriend" they both say in an overly sing song voice.

I try and hide my face, but mom comes over and opens my hands "I'm still mad at you, but I'm also really excited that you have your first girlfriend" she admits, and she hugs me tightly "little bit has a girlfriend" she sings out, and mama sings it back to her.

"You two are sooooo embarrassing" I groan, as I step away from them, and look to them, shaking my head as they do a little dance together.

"You went from going for my throat, to dancing about my love life in two seconds. I think you both need therapy" I suggest jovially, and they both laugh.

"Parenting is an absolute paradox" mama declares, and mom nods in agreement as she sways with her in a dance that they had just committed to for no reason, but they were clearly insane and in love.

"Can I atleast call Ava and tell her that I won't be seeing her so much" I ask.

They both nod as I walk away. I click on Ava's name in my phone.

The phone rings out, but Ava calls me back as I get up to my room and jump into my bed. The sheets still smell like her, like her body spray, it was a warm white musk scent, with jasmine, and it would never not remind me of Ava Montgomery, never, even when I smelt it on the neck of someone else...

"Hey, do you miss me already" she whispers, and I realise she's home since she's whispering.

"Of course... the second you leave I'm counting down until the next time" I reveal with a smile, forgetting why I was calling.

"Me too... Wren I love you so much" she whispers "I can taste you" she adds playfully.

I laugh "okay you need to go shower and brush your teeth" I suggest.

She laughs "not like that" she replies jovially "you kissed me with chap stick on this morning... I can still taste the strawberry on my lips"

"Were your parents okay" I ask, changing the subject.

She lets out a breath "yes, but I have to go as I need to get ready for church... mom says I can't sleep over anymore if I don't get back for church" she says "and we can't not have sleepovers, they are like the only thing I think about all week" she whispers.

I wrinkle up my nose, and press my forehead to the bed. How would I tell her they were over?!

"I need to talk to you about that" I say.

She sounds like she's moving about in the background "tell me later I have to go... I love you so much.... Sooooooooooooo much" she says lovingly and she clicks off.

I throw the phone down on the sheets beside me.

This was kind of a moment to remember, the moment that Ava would find out we weren't so secret anymore, and with it brought the fear and freak outs that her parents would find out, and of course they did, eventually. Our course changed then, our route diverted and the summer before I started college, we split up. I guess you could say Ava broke my heart, but honestly didn't I kind of break my own?! Because I didn't stay to true to myself, and I ventured into a secret relationship I swore I wouldn't, because it only ever brought pain.

I may be fourth generation queer, but I had not heeded the warning... that it can hurt when it was kept a secret.

Still, college was going to be the start of a new adventure, and I had a lot to discover as I left the nest and went out on my own for the first time...

Come with me?!

September is Wrens 👩🏻‍🦰🌈⚽️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️👅