Willa,
A day that lasts forever
Any day spent with you
a heart that's true
mine beats for you
You knew though
You knew
A few steps behind
I took a longer path
but I followed foot prints in the sand
A familiar set I've seen
I've known them as a five year old
a ten year old for sure
I've followed them as a teenager
And tripped over my own all the more
I lost them for a while there
The tide washed them away
But as I reached my twenties
There came a fateful day
Your footprints returned to me
I followed without fear
I ran and ran and caught you up
And said
"There you are my dear"
I've searched for you forever
I saw you up ahead
I couldn't ever reach you
But you're always in my head
Please take my hand
And walk with me
And when we turn around
Let it be both of our footprints
We leave there in the sand.

Allie x

Sixteen years after our wedding, the length of time Allie and I had together, as young teenagers, before we ever even kissed, we would renew our vows.

Allie had no idea we were about to renew our vows, because it was something I wanted her to walk into completely without stress, planning, or organising a thing. I had told her the night before that we should rewrite our vows, and read them out to each other today for our anniversary. I knew she would love that, and this way she was as prepared as she needed to be.

Harper took her to get a new dress, something appropriate, and then for a hike, to keep her busy, as I set up the location

We were in Utah, visiting the Anderson's, and this meant we were actually in the perfect spot for this renewal

I wanted to return to the very beginning, to the first chapters of us, where pages turned and eyes met, where poetry was written, and inner longings stirred and began to echo. To return to where Alberta and I met, where we were placed at birth, close enough to find each other, like fate had wanted us to and planned it long before our birth. That may sound like I'm romanticising this way too much, but, there's no other reason that Alberta, the perfect soul for mine, exists in a world full of billions of souls, and yet lived, a few blocks away, and  born a few days after me. We went to the same church, where Allie had the overwhelming need to reach for me that day, at five years old, and she held tight, as our chapters turned and our lives were written, and life tried to separate us. Circumstances kept Allie and I apart, nothing was easy, everything felt like it got in the way, but still miles apart, years spent with others, and longings as loud as your heart beat in your ears when your crush leans in to kiss you for that first time, we could still feel each other. The fate that tied us to each other, it slowly began to pull us back in, bringing us closer and closer to that moment, when our worlds would finally collide, and time would finally be right.

I will never forget the day Allie asked me if I had ever thought about kissing her... that day in Oregon, when we arrived at the answer to a million questions, does she feel it too? Why can't I get her out of my head? Is this normal to want your best friend to yourself? Does she wake up attached to me, because like me, she can't bear to be apart?! Are you thinking of me too?!

***
"Lala" where do you want the lanterns Wren asks.

I turn to see her, with two in each hand, Olympia coming along behind her with four more.

"Set them down there please" I gesture, pointing to the oak tree inside the clearing, mine and Allie's, where we met most afternoons, and as we became teens, sneaking out in the evenings too. It sat between our homes, a place we would hang out, a place we laid, and a place we dreamed.

The clearing was a place that Alberta held my hand in, as we looked up to stars, and out to sunsets, where we made plans and set sail for them in our minds. This was most probably the place where we fell in love, since it was our most common location to be alone, together, distance vanquished, no personal space, yes this was our ground zero. It was equally, the spot I left her in, when I vanished for five years. I didn't dwell on that moment of pain though, as we stood here now. I thought more to the moment I returned, and how it all started unraveling for us both. How we both realised that the longing we felt, to be apart for so long, it was in no way a friendly longing, it was deep, unrelenting and it ached far too much to be anything but romantic love. It was a love that fought to be heard, and hear it we did, that day, here, in the clearing.

"They were heavy..." Olympia groans, as she drops hers down beside Wrens.

"Girls" I say, looking to them both stood there under the oak.... "God you grew up too fast" I observe, changing what I was going to say, as I took them in.

Wren was twelve, she had grown up so much recently, much more the teenager than the little girl. Her hair was auburn, like the women before her, her eyes were Alberta's, and Helena's. She was a chip off the old block, our Wren, but she had a smile like Teddy, a cheeky smile, just like Olympias, and a personality to match.

Olympia was mostly all Teddy, she of course had Harper in her sarcasm and the things she would say. She made a lot of Harpers faces, it always amused me to see her and Harper throw each other the same look, quite by accident. Olympia was just shy of Ten, and almost as tall as Wren already, she would certainly be taller as an adult. People often confused Olympia for being older than her age, perhaps Wrens equal, and she quite often wanted people to believe it. 

Olympia was always trying to keep up with Wren and her friends, much preferring the older group, as she herself, was more mature, she always had been older than her years. She has to be reminded to slow down and act her age, relax, you have time, very much like young Teddy.

"As you always remind us lala" Olympia replies "but I can't help how I grow" she muses, walking over and wrapping her arms around me, her dark hair under my chin, as she rested her head on my chest.

"I think you and gaga are perfect for each other" Olympia whispers against my chest, as she squeezed me tightly.

Wren nods in agreement "if it's not like this, I don't want it..."

I smile, and look to them both, my girls, and they may not be my blood, but they were mine all the same, just as Teddy and Harper.

If anyone asked them, who I was, they said without hesitation "our lala... one of our grandparents of course... the cool one" they would add.

I had only earned the "cool one" because I coached both of the girls sports teams at various times in their childhood. I still coached Olympias Basketball team too, so Allie allowed the title, because I was the cool one, she was the fun one though, she loved her grandchildren more than life itself, and she made them all feel individually like they were the most important and special person in the world. You could never suffer from insecurity with Allie, she made you feel incredible, like the world was yours, and you were the world.

"Well thanks girls... all I want for you as you grow is for you to feel as loved as I am, as loved as I have always felt. I know you will be, because you know what to look for and you won't settle for less... you see your mama and mom, and me and gaga, and you know what it looks like, true love. I know you will find it one day with whomever it is ... boy or girl, you know whatever or whomever you like, when you are much much older...  no relationships before you are at-least eighteen" I remind them.

Olympia stands back and wrinkles up her nose "that's too old... I want a boyfriend next year"

I frown "not happening kid... save boys for college"

Wren leans against the oak tree "Well I am pretty sure I want a girlfriend" she confesses.

Olympia and I turn to her "same rules apply ... eighteen and college" i repeat.

Olympia laughs "too late ... Wren is already in love" she says teasingly.

Wren wrinkles up her forehead and narrows her eyes at her "no I am not" she throws back.

"Not what I heard" Olympia says eyebrow cocked at her.

Wren pushes off the tree with her foot "what do you think you heard" she asks.

I roll my eyes, here we go, Nomikos drama.

"I heard you told Cam, that you wanted to kiss Ava" Olympia throws back.

I am taken aback by that. Wren was already thinking about these things?!

"I never said that" she says annoyed, at the accusation

"you so did, and just so you know Wren, Ava is clearly into boys, so perhaps think again"

"Don't you dare repeat that to anyone... that I like Ava..." Wren threatens.

Olympia looks to her defiantly "Can't promise" she says to inflict maximum irritation to her sibling.

I think Olympia loved living on the edge, she teased Wren mercilessly, and she loved the reaction, and boy did she get one. Wren lunged at her, and she ducked out of the way as they took off across the park, Olympia just out of reach from Wren, whom looked, determined, to wring her neck.

***

Heaven in your finger tips
Love in your gaze
Hold me down
Pin me
Don't make a sound
Tell me with a kiss
Give me the devotion
Lay it on me straight
Make it unrelenting
A love that just won't wait
Days, nights, lunch dates
Never ending brunch dates
Sundays in church,
Sit me on a pew
preach to me
teach me
fill me with your gospel
touch my soul and claim it
baptise me with your hands
taste my flesh, drink my wine
and let our souls entwine
Your religion is mine.

***
Teddy walks into Allies old room at the Anderson's, with Josephine at her hip. Our little Josie is seven, she has long blonde hair like Merrit, in-fact she reminds me a-lot of Merrit, Allies younger sister, and she looks very similar for the same age. Josie is sweet, and hugs are most definitely her speciality.

She walks across the room and wraps her arms around me "lala you look pretty"

"Thanks Josie" I say, stroking her fair hair.

Teddy looks me up and down "You really do look good Wills. Allie will love this dress on you... you look beautiful, heaven sent if I didn't know you" she teases.

I smile, and look around the room, checking every detail once more.

"I've set it all up for her... do you think she will like it" I ask

Teddy and Josephine stand beside me, as we look to Allies childhood bedroom. I have filled it with flowers, her favourite blooms touch every surface, and her poetry adorns every wall. All of our poems are here, and love letters, every single one we had written by hand, and on the far wall, the sunsets.

Allie once told me, that when she entered my bedroom in Oregon for the first time, it felt like the room was a memory box, of me. Here in the Anderson home, in Allies old bedroom, I had recreated that, but this time, this was ours, our memory box, our life in ink, in photos, in faded words, promises, longings, dreams and wishes. We were the heart beat in this room, and I swear as I stood here gazing upon it all, I could feel it, the hum, the drum... the call of us.

I turn to Teddy, with tears in my eyes "I think I perhaps overdid the sentiment"

She places her arm around my shoulder and squeezes me to her "Willa I don't think you and Allie could ever, over- do, a sentiment... your blood runs Alberta... and anyone who knows you both, knows, it's the same for her. I never read fairy tales as a kid, and I never romanced the idea of it all in my head. I did hear once upon a times though, and they were all from you, because your stories about Allie, they were my favourite once upon a times. My favourite part was watching your face, as you told them, and seeing you fall in love with the thoughts of her" Teddy pauses and sighs "The way you have always described her... oh Willa you are the only reason I ever knew a love like that existed"

Tears come away, and I shake my head "Theodora Nomikos you just destroyed my make up... but god I love you kid" I say pulling her into my arms.

"Lala" Josie calls below us "love me too" she asks.

I let Teddy go and pick her up with a kiss to the nose "yes my darling ... littlest grand... you too"

"Shall we head to your moms... there's quite a welcome committee waiting on you" Teddy reveals.

I look to her and smile softly, Teddy is wearing a white shirt and fitted trousers, she looks beautiful with her long dark curls against the white of the shirt "Yes let's go ...but let me just leave this" I say placing down a slip of paper on Allies desk.

Meet me at the clearing,
Said every other night,
I think I fell in love there,
walked to it every night,
waited patiently,
Knowing you would come,
my beating heart sped up then,
you looked at me in such a way,
Did I imagine that,
I would obsess,
the look, the love, that way,
you stood there in that dress
You were the one I always looked for,
In a place between my home and yours,
Will you meet me there this very night?
And take my hand in yours...
Allie

Willa xx

***
"Harper what is going on... I feel like you are stalling me" I ask as we stop for her to take another break, she sits on a large boulder on a nature trail we walked a million times when she was a child. "Either that or you are severely unfit, and I know that's not true... you did a three mile hike last week with the girls"

"Mama ... what is the rush we have all day together" she says reaching for my hand.

I look to her, sat there, in her shorts and t shirt, a backpack on her back, her red hair swept up in a messy bun, and I give in and take her hand as she pulls me down beside her on the boulder. "Good thing I love you my chick" I say reaching into my bag for some water.

Harper closes her eyes and lifts her face to the sun, bathing in it like a lizard on a rock.

"Teddy will be so jealous" she says taking out her phone and snapping a picture of herself.

"How is Teddy" I ask "is she still considering retiring after this season" I add.

Harper puts the phone back in her pocket "yes" she says taking the bottle of water from my hand and taking a sip. "She's going to look into coaching and commentary instead... and obviously she gets a lot of work outside of the game now, but yeah it's going to be weird not going to her games, or seeing her on a court in that same way... she was born to do it"

"She sure was... she will be missed there..."

"Now I'm back teaching it will be nice for her to have some time back with the girls, they miss her when her schedule is crazy, and you know Teddy, she is so good at being the one at home. She does it all so easily, it makes me jealous. Also, we kind of want another baby" Harper adds casually.

I look to her and smile.

"Another baby?" I ask excitedly.

Harper nods, her smile matching mine"Teddy always wanted to carry again... she just got so busy, it was impossible, but yes mama we are going for number four, our final Nomikos bambino"

I rub my hands together in excitement "I wonder if we will get another Nomikos sister, or a little boy for them to dote on"

"I don't know, but either way, he or she will complete us, our gang will be complete" Harper says contently.

"My daughter... a mama to four" I say sighing "when did life fly by like this...and make my baby a grown woman...my chick with her own full nest" I sigh, with both happiness and a dash of heartache, that life stole time far too quickly from a mama.

"Don't mama. I feel the same way about Wren... she's twelve... and later in the year, a teenager. Why is my baby almost a teenager? when it feels like she just arrived on the family room floor?"

"Is it okay to cry" I ask, sticking out my lower lip.

Harper nods as tears form in her eyes too.

"I don't know why I'm such a wreck" I ask out loud, whilst starting to sob and laugh all at once.

Harper joins me, we are both laughing as we cry. "I don't know either" she confesses "but I'm not ready for my girls to grow up on me"

"Let's move..." I suggest standing back up and holding out my hand "before we succumb to the elements and cry ourselves to a point of dehydration"

Harper places her hand in mine and stands "yes let's get back" she says checking her watch "and quickly" she adds picking up pace and practically dragging me along behind her.

"Wait, why are we now rushing" I ask, trying to keep up.

"Because I misjudged the time, and now we are late" she adds.

"For what" I ask.

"Your date with destiny" she says looking back with a smile .

***

"Wills you look stunning" Calliope says coming to my side, as Josie, Teddy and I, enter my moms, my family home.

I've only been able to come back to my childhood home for the last five years. I had spent a lifetime away from it. My dad passing meant that not only could my mom have me back in her life, and the family's, as she wished it to be, but it also meant I had the responsibility of my mom and making sure she was comfortable. My dad leaving me most of his estate, meant I was now responsible for her. I had signed over my dads share of the family home, to my mom, this house wasn't mine and I didn't want it, this way mom had something to pass on to my siblings one day. The rest of my fathers estate valued above half a million dollars. I put enough away for my mom to live on, and made a charitable donation in my fathers name to homeless lgbt youth charities, the rest I would think about later.

"Callie" I acknowledge hugging her tightly, relieved to see her here, she hadn't ever been to Utah and met the Jamesons in the flesh, my mom yes, and Ben, Brig and Eliza at our first wedding, but not the others. Not that Charlotte was here, I had cut off communication with her years ago, it wouldn't ever be positive.

"Hey aunty Willa" Apollo greeted, sidling up to his mom shyly but with a dimple popping smile.

"Hey Apollo" i smiled "looking handsome bud"

Luke arrives close behind "Willa you look beautiful" he says reaching down to kiss my cheek.

"I'm so glad you could make  it" I say, before glancing around the room "where, dare I ask, are the others... because it's far too quiet" I ask apprehensively.

"Out back, your mom has put a beautiful spread on of drinks and a few nibbles,  before we all head on down to the park. I'm so excited" Callie squeals.

"I sense the panic in your tone Willa" Teddy notes squeezing my forearm "let me go keep an eye on the Nomikos so you don't have too" she says, as she disappears with Josephine on her shoulders, feet dangling down.

I look back to Callie "Im excited too...I hope Allie likes this surprise...what if she hates it?" I worry.

"How could she hate the idea of renewing her vows with the love of her life...I'm pretty sure Allie would marry you on an annual basis, that woman loves you to death" Callie reminds me,
and I nod slow and sure.

***
When we get to the Anderson house, my dad is sat on the porch, he waves as Harper pulls into the driveway.

"Why is daddy in a suit?" I ask.

Harper smiles beside me and places her hand on mine on the centre console "Mama ... there may or may not be a little surprise for you upstairs" she says, smiling broadly now with excitement.

"Harper Nomikos, you know I don't like surprises" I say nervously, looking back to the house, and to my dad who stands from the chair, his black Labrador at his side.

"Mama you will like this one... because it's all Willa's doing" Harper says leaning over and kissing my cheek "now let's go because we are late" she urges and she gets out of the car as Merrit and Augusta step out of the house and join them all on the porch.

I can feel my heart beat wildly. I didn't like a surprise, but damn it, I had to admit I had never hated Willa's, and it was our anniversary, so this could only be in typical Willa fashion, something quite romantic.

I gather myself and step out of the car as Merrit and Augusta come to my side and each take an arm "Alberta you spent your entire life being early, present and correct and then on this one day... you chose to hike like a snail" Merrit scolds jovially.

I shake my head, and point to Harper on the porch, chatting to my dad "your niece ...not me" I rebuff.

Augusta leans in with an excited lift of her lips "Come with us" she says as she takes my arm and leads me past my dad on the porch.

"Alberta" my dad greets cheerily "get your skates on my darling daughter... I have somewhere to escort you too, and it's getting late"

"I feel like Alice in wonderland about to fall down the rabbit hole... what am I late for" I ask again.

They all look to me with great affection "you will see" Harper says, as Gus drags me back through the large front door.

My brow furrows as we enter the large hallway, flowers lead all the way up the staircase, a beautiful vine weaving up the spindles, the entire house smelt like my favourite flowers, and as we walk up the staircase, I feel a flutter in my belly. I sense Willa all over this, it's like I can feel her, and as Merrit opens my childhood bedroom, my mouth drops open, she, we, were everywhere. The entire room was flooded with us, it was us, and my eyes fill to the brim, to the point I can barely see through them.

My fingers wonder over the handwritten letters, the poems, the love scrawled on every page, declarations, whispers of a forever we could only dream of, hopes of a future that at the time felt Impossible. Then there were the first stirrings of love, the earliest poems, the ones that revealed to me that, perhaps, I loved Willa too much, far too deeply for a friend, feelings that revealed I couldn't and wouldn't share her.

I held Willa's hand for so long, thinking it was just our thing, from childhood, but as the years passed, my hand held hers tighter, my fingers entwined between hers and they stayed put, not wanting to release, to let go, because somewhere along the way I felt it, the parting looming, the absence that was about to rip her away. I knew it, even then, that my life would start and end with Willa Jameson... and here we were, just into our early fifties, and it was true. I knew it then and I know it now, it begins and ends with her, and as long as she breathes, I am whole, I am hers, and when the day comes that our time here is done, I have no fears at all, eternity was always ours.

"I think Willa may be the most romantic person I've ever met" Merrit whispers beside me.

Gus nods "I am tearing up" she confesses.

I pick up the note on the table and open it up between my fingers "meet her at the clearing" I read out loud.

My sisters appear beside me again "we have to get you showered, dressed and hair done in half an hour. Lets get this show on the road" Gus urges, throwing a towel at me and pushing me down the hallway to the bathroom.

***
"Willa sweetheart" Mary greets, coming over slowly and wrapping her arms around me "I was just out back with Olympia and Wren. Cameron just arrived with Greer, and her new lady love" Mary says eyebrows raised "she's a looker" she admits with a devilish smile.

"Don't say that out loud... Erica is two feet away" I remind her, gesturing to Erica sat on the couch talking with my mom.

Mary nudges me "we are quite past that. I'm in my seventies Willa, and Erica is at that point in her eighties where she flirts with death every time she sneezes... we can appreciate the lesbian drama now with not so much as a flicker of a pulse quickening"

"That entire explanation made me feel old" I groan, taking a deep breath.

"You are a baby, and you don't look a day over forty" she replies lovingly.

I roll my eyes "again, that doesn't quite hit the same as when I was forty, and you said I didn't look a day over thirty"

"Just shut up and enjoy your supple skin. Let's gets you to this clearing, because I've never been so excited for a vow renewal in Utah... especially a queer one... the curtains will be twitching so fast they go up in flames"

Mom walks over, and wraps her arm around Mary and my waist "I don't care what anyone says. I love you and I am so proud of you, of you both" she says kissing our cheeks.

"Come on sister" Ben says, taking my arm.

"Yes, let's get you to your girl" Brig agrees, taking my other arm, as my mom tears up to see my brothers, in my fathers place.

"We love you" Eliza says, appearing beside me, and leaning in to kiss my cheek.

"We all do" Jennifer adds, Bens wife.

My mom walks over to the bottom of the stair case and she takes my cheeks in hers. She looks so deeply into my eyes, like she was searching for all of the pieces of me that had been broken by her actions, her words, through years of absence and denial before she had worked with me to make it all better.

She lifted her lips into a smile "My youngest... my baby. I love you so much, and I want you to always remember this moment here, at the bottom of this staircase... the moment it all felt better. I hope that you remember that last time we all stood here,a lot less. I would love to make it so that never happened, but I think today is a wonderful replacement" she says kissing my nose.

I look to the staircase behind her, and the memories flood back, my father breaking down over my confession I was gay, the slap, the moment our family fractured right through the middle. I feel it still, that pain, because it really couldn't ever be eradicated, but I certainly had healed over it, the scar tissue was evident, but the wound had healed enough to live with, a battle scar.

Wren and Olympia stand with Teddy beside the door, Demi, Maria, Thea, Callie, the Nomikos cousins, all filling into the space as my siblings joined them too "Lala let's go" Wren says.

"Come on grandad" Olympia says to Ben as she takes his other arm "the sun is going to set in forty minutes"

Ben laughs "Oly I got it..." he confirms as she tugs him out "let's go" he says walking me out with the family and friends we all called ours following close behind.

The road to the park, to our clearing, it never felt long, but today it felt as if Allie was a million miles away, and if Ben and Brigham had released me, I would most probably have run the rest of the way.

Wren and Cam ran ahead a little, Olympia and Josie catching up to them, Athena, Clio and Apollo coming from the back, Teddy and her sisters close behind us. I smile watching the children up ahead, running and laughing into the orange hues of the backdrop, all looking cute and smart, the night feeling as if we had walked into a dream, one Allie and I couldn't have dreamt up more perfectly.

The air is warm, it kisses your cheeks, everyone looked sun kissed and pink cheeked as we came to the clearing. It looked like a midsummer nights dream in here, everyone sat on the white picnic blankets with the lanterns at the middle of them, petals scattered, it was as I had pictured it. Teddy stood beside the tree with her notes in her hand, she was going to lead us through this renewal, as I led her through her wedding to Harper.

"Looking good Mommy" Wren called from her blanket beside Olympia, Cam and Josie.

Olympia threw up an "A Okay" sign.

Teddy smiled. "Thanks girls" she called back.

Ben and Brig both kiss my cheek, and release my arms as I stand beside Teddy "we love you Willa" Ben says squeezing my arm, before joining his family, as did Brigham.

Teddy checks her phone from her pocket "Harper says they are en route" she reveals, and my stomach flitters with nervous butterflies.

"I so hope she doesn't mind the surprise" I say again nervously.

Teddy shakes her head "Her favourite person in the world, waiting to meet her... to marry her again... yeah I don't think she's going to mind"

***
"Harper do I look okay" I ask, taking one final look in the mirror.

She comes up behind me, placing her hands on my shoulders "mama, you look beautiful" she observes, looking me over.

Harper had taken me to get a dress earlier in the day, it was a sweet and delicately designed lace dress, a very light blue to the point it could have been white, and at the time I wondered if it was too much for an anniversary date. Luckily, as it turned out, this anniversary required something a little more special.

Gus and Merrit had braided my hair up into Willa's favourite, the crown braid, and Harper has applied the smallest amount of make up, the natural look.

"Why does she do this to me" I whisper to myself, holding my belly nervously.

Harper smiles and leans against my cheek with hers. "Because she loves you more than life itself"

"As do I" she adds.

I lift my hand and cup her chin "My chick, you are my life" I confess, with a loving smile.

"I know mama, but I'm more than happy to share it with Willa, because if Willa didn't exist I'm not sure you would..."

"I'm not sure I would either. I don't know life without her, I don't remember it, not one day" I say gulping at that realisation.

Willa was quite literally my oldest memory, and life without her, I didn't remember that. I was thankful of it, because life, it can't have felt right nor whole without her, and I bet I had a constant sensation as a young child of always looking for something, scanning a crowd for something, not knowing what it was, and it would have been her, it would have always been her.

"Let's go" My father says cheerily standing in my bedroom doorway "the sun is lowering, the sky is lit like your mama herself is here to witness, and I my darling daughter have tears in my eyes" he says wiping them with a white handkerchief from his blazer pocket "you look so beautiful my Alberta... my goodness you are a sight my love"

I look back to the mirror one last time, and it's strange now to see my mama in that mirror looking back at me. I am now older than she was the day she left us, I have lived longer, had more time, seen more, had more grandchildren than she got to have before she left, and I had spent more time with my love... and I would never take any of that for granted.

I smile softly as if I am looking at her, and for a flicker it's as if she's there, and I frown because it's clear as day, her beautiful smile, her hands placed on my shoulders "I love you my darling Alberta... always have and always will my girl... now go to her... and don't ever let her go" and it's like I hear her, and a solo tear runs down my cheek.

Harper leans forward and wipes it away "are you okay mama" she asks.

I squeeze her arm as I turn "Yes, let's go.I'm ready" I confess.

My dad holds out his arm as he leads me back down the stairs. My sisters and brothers are out the front waiting, with their families. It's noisy, but joy filled, and we walk the path, the path I knew best, a well trodden one that took me all the way to Willa. My teens were spent racing toward her, never walking, always in a hurry to make every moment we had together count.

The sky is orange and deep red, the tones are heavenly, they remind me of Utah whenever we see them this way, the red of the mountain under the sun light.

Harper takes my other arm as we walk the way to the clearing, lights flicker through the trees as we approach. and she appears, Willa, with hands held together, a smile creeping onto her lips as she spots me. Her hand unfolds, and her arm stretched out to reach for me. My goodness, the butterflies that take off, the warmth that fills my being to find her here, looking beautiful as always, feeling like home as I let go of my daddy's arm and reach my hand out for hers.

Harper and my dad hug us both, before taking their seats with the rest of the family. Harper sits with the children, leaving Willa and I to look to each other, alone for a moment.

"Thanks for meeting me" Willa whispers.

"Didn't I always" I return, looking into her gaze.

Her hazel eyes were lit up, wondering over my features as if she hadn't for sixteen years of marriage before this day.

"Most always" she replies, leaning in to kiss my lips.

"No... always" I remind her, with a frown.

"Okay, there was one time you didn't, but let's not get into the details" Willa says tugging me toward her.

I shake my head, my brows knitting together as she smiles amused "Allie don't you dare get mad with me..."

The family looks over amused "Mama not the time" Harper calls over the group.

"I'm not mad. Im a little annoyed, since it never happened, but hey, let's let that one go" I say nonchalantly.

Willa let's out a little laugh "Alberta Anderson, put the flame away, it was one time... when you were like nine... nothing to write home about"

I frown again "Okay, I'm not remarrying you until you educate me on this absence" I return annoyed, because I literally didn't remember it, and now I was wading through my mind to find it.

"I waited for hours one night, to the point my own mom sent Brigham out to come get me as I was late home. I had waited and waited for you since you never didn't come, and I didn't want you to arrive and not find me here" Willa reveals.

I take it all in but still don't understand where I was.

"So why didn't I show" I ask.

Willa softly shakes her head, as I admire her pretty make up upon her cute nose and upturned lips.

"You got picked up by your grandparents early for summer vacation, and never got my note" she reveals.

I widen my eyes "you've never told me that story" I say cupping her cheek "and it's cute... that you waited...but absolutely doesn't count as a most always, since I never got the note, so please correct" I ask, eyebrow raised.

She looks to me amused, by my irritation of the facts, that were not.

"You, Alberta Anderson have always met me here... Always" she corrects, and she leans back in and kisses me, a soft and delicate kiss.

"Now come and marry me again for the love of god, because we are losing the sun, and it waits for no one " Willa adds jovially.

"Please Allie" Demitra calls "I'm getting cramp in places you shouldn't get cramp down here"

Maria says something disapproving in Greek, and Clio laughs.

"Okay family, lets reel it back in" Teddy chastises, as the Nomikos area gets rowdy.

"Sorry about that" Teddy adds.

Willa and I reach for her, underneath the oak tree.

I turn and look to our closest family and friends, this wasn't everyone because we would take up the entire park, but it was our closest and most supportive and loving family and friends.

"Once upon a time" Teddy began, as everyone quietened to listen "once upon a time in this very spot, two little girls would run as fast as they could, for five minutes of a day, just so that they could spend it together" she begins.

I look to Willa, and squeeze her hands opposite me.

"Five minutes, that's all they could get, and so they took it, and minutes slowly added up to hours, hours became days, and days would become years eventually, because no time is ever enough spent, when it is spent with the person you love most in this world" she says.

I smile at Willa, my eyes filling with tears again.

Teddy glances to Harper briefly, and she looks emotional as she takes a moment, before continuing. "It's not been easy, the journey to have all the time in the world, but here you are, sixteen years after forever begun, no longer than a couple of days spent apart, living your once dreamt of sixth minute. A minute that goes on and on, and you wake up every day and choose each other all over again, you evolve, you change, just as the seasons and yet together, you remain strong, devoted and unwavering in your adoration of each other. My goodness you inspire me, you inspire me every day in my own marriage... you are the two to look up too, and I do, we do" she says gesturing to Harper, who nods, with Josie's arms wrapped around her neck.

"And today we all gather here, those who love and adore you both and we are the ones who are lucky. We are lucky to be able to spend even a moment of that sixth minute with you both, for you to let us in to share this place and this moment with you as you renew your vows and reaffirm your commitment to each other in a place where it all began... quite literally under our feet and all around us" she gestures and she looks back to us "so...mom in laws" she says with a cheeky grin.

We both roll our eyes up "I know you have some words to share together today, and I know we would all love to share in hearing them. Willa" she asks.

Willa looks back to me with a gentle smile.

"Alberta ... I know you don't like surprises, but you have always been my favourite surprise..." she confesses, looking to me with content "the one that caught me so off guard but shouldn't have... and I didn't expect to get forever with you. I have never wished for anything more in my life though, because you have always been everything to me, from before I can even remember, your the one thing that's forever been on my mind, the only person that's never shied away from my hand and my heart. When you first ran off with it, we were not far from our eldest grandchild's age now. I didn't expect it, or to ever have yours, not the way you gave it to me. I'm not sure why you were such a surprise when your words have always said what your heart was trying to convey. If I had read between those lines you sent, I think I would have found you there a little sooner.., but everything happens for a reason. I don't think we were ever meant to be before our time had come, and it did, and sixteen years ago you dropped down to your knee and held up that ring. I have never felt more at one with the universe as I did in that moment. It came for us that day, fate, our pathways merging and finally we took our first steps... and you became everything, my wife and my life. You are my best friend, the care taker of my heart and soul, and you never cease to amaze me" she says taking both of my hands "the way you give so much, so deeply to those you love. I have spent sixteen years being yours in every sense of the word, and I want more, I selfishly want more than that. I want long nights, short days, lazy mornings and sun rays, I want sunsets and starry nights, I want your heart to beat against my palm, and to wake, always, with my waist beneath your arm. I want you, all of you, and I want to share it all forever, our family, our home, our friends, our littles" she says gesturing to the grandchildren beside Harper.

"Oh Allie, today isn't just me committing to you again, renewing old vows. I've been committed every day since the last, today is only a reminder, once again, so you should never have to doubt it, that this is forever, it's real, it's happening, sixteen years down the line we are still very much living it, our wonderful life"

Willa reaches out and wipes a tear that runs down my cheek "I love you Alberta" she whispers, as my lips lift into a smile.

"That is going to be so hard to beat...." I confess, stifling a little laugh through the emotion.

The family all join in "Willa with the romance" Ben calls out "I didn't stand a chance" he adds jovially as the family laugh with him, relieved he had moved on to this point now, that he can laugh at the situation and be happy for us.

Harper throws him a look "dad a little inappropriate, no?"she asks.

Teddy hides her face in her hands, as Demi turns to look at him "I'm not sure the romance was the issue Benjamin... I think perhaps the fact you were not Willa in her entirety, nor a female, may have been the hole in the sinking ship"

"You captained a sinking vessel Ben" Thea throws in.

Teddy shakes her head embarrassed.

"But Jennifer is gold star moving on material, and a complete ten...  so... I think you both won the second marriage lottery" Thea adds.

"I can only apologise" Teddy calls out.

"She's right" Jennifer adds "we all found where we were meant to be in the end, and that's what matters"

"I think we need to be quiet and let Gaga speak now" Wren calls out loudly above everyone, and she leans down on her belly on the blanket and holds up her chin in her hands as she watches eagerly to see what I'm going to say.

Olympia throws me a thumbs up, and Josephine beams, as she walks over and sits, in my father, her namesake Joseph's, arms "knock it out of the park Gaga" she says.

I look to them all, and back to Willa "we are so blessed with our girls" I whisper.

She squeezes my hands "I know it" she returns.

"Willa" I begin, and I can't help the smile of amusement that slips onto my lips as the sun dips away and the darkness begins to set in "do you have anymore light, because I can barely see you" I say jovially.

She looks to Olympia, and Wren, and points to the lamps. They jump to their feet and move around the clearing, turning them all on, Wren coming between our feet and reaching for a switch that lights up the entire tree with warm white string lights that wound around it and up into the branches.

Wren looks up at us, and smiles "love you" she adds quickly, before racing back to her spot beside Harper.

I look back to Willa "take my hands" I ask, and she eagerly does so, her fingers slipping between mine, where they belong.

"I didn't know this was a vow renewal today, and so what I have prepared is not so formal, nor as thoughtfully planned or perfect as yours... but you know me and you know I never have a lack of words...whether they be poetry, love letters, or lists, the kind for shopping and the ones I'm known for that aren't so pleasant to read. So, of course I have words Willa, and I've never not had them when my muse is, you" I confess, licking my lips, and feeling a sudden nervousness to say these things, with an audience.

"Sixteen years this day, I feel the same familiar way, an eager heart, to learn more of you, excitement at the thought of you, it's as if sixteen years flew by in a second, and all I've had of you is but a minute... will it always feel like that?! That I never did get enough time with you?! I don't want to always wish it was more, and longer, because I know it's forever and that should be long enough, but my goodness Willa Jameson, forever almost doesn't cut it, it maddens me quite frankly" I confess.

She raises her eyebrows, as everyone else does. Where was this going? kind of frowns followed.

"Because forever sounds too meek, like it could be swayed, people say forever, throw it around all the time, and I don't want it, if it's been made to mean less over time. I need what I want to say to be fierce and strong and convey my hearts desire, to tell you of its longing, to keep you and to have you, to love you and adore you for eternity. It's everlasting, and an all encompassing kind of love I have for you Willa. I won't even be afraid when my time is up earth side, because you will only ever be a second away, my hand empty of yours for but a moment before we move on through, and onto our next journey... together... no what I want isn't forever, It's everlasting, and it's beating inside of me right now, the sounds of you" and I take her hand and place it over my heartbeat "do you feel it" I ask.

She looks up from where her hand is placed on mine, and nods.

She looks deeply into my eyes. "Ours" she repeats, like the day I finally arrived on her porch, free.

"Yours and mine" I add, and I lean forward, and capture her lips, her fingers tenderly tracing my jaw either side as everyone sighs.

"I think I speak for everyone when I say, we love you both , and that you have destroyed vow renewals for us all...nothing rehearsed will ever beat that" Teddy announces. "To everlasting love" she cheers, as everyone joins.

"Harry I want everlasting" Thea calls out.

"Everlasting barren lands" Demi sniggers.

Calliope clips her over the back of the head "not the place" she reminds her.

"Nomikos" Harper calls "shhh" she reminds them.

Demi points her finger back at her "You married into it" she reminds her.

Teddy walks over and pulls Harper to her feet, wrapping her arms around her neck "you did marry it babe" she reminds her.

Harper smiles against her lips "and I only regret that it didn't come with a volume button" she confesses before Teddy kisses her passionately and sweeps her off of her feet.

The music starts, almost instantly, as everyone got to their feet and began to move to the music. The familiar sounds of a popular song ringing out, as everyone cheered and joined in.

I look back to Willa, and kiss her again "Look what we made happen" I say, looking to our mixed family.

Harper is being flung around by Teddy, Wren is dancing with Willa's mom, and Cam is flinging Olympia around as she belly laughed. Josephine is in my fathers arms, as he danced her around. Gus and Merrit are dancing with Ben, and Brigham as Eliza, with Jennifer too. Mary and Erica are in a slow and romantic sway, the entire group was filled with joy.

Finally, this night, Utah felt like home again, peace filled every inch of me, and we healed, it truly felt like we healed from what it had meant for so long to be here. The next sixteen began then, and our family was about to grow once more. Teddy and Harper would soon have our fourth grandchild, and the Nomikos gang would be completed.

Yes, our grandson was due within the next year, the start of sixteen more, going off with a bang, and my goodness he was a cute one to end on .

katekuperman 💕 a vow renewal for you 🫶🏻 I hope it was worth the wait.