An Autumn Outing (Pt. 2) 🍂🍁: Solar x Ruin (SAMS AU Oneshot)

~ Important Author's Note (Pls Read) ~
Ok so first things first, wow a part 2 I was not expecting to make this. Anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk about I wanted to say this. So this part is actually a little bit heavier. Yeah surprise, what started off as a sweet innocent date between Solar and Ruin ended up getting a little dark due to memories of unresolved trauma because of my creative brain. Yet what I mean by "unresolved trauma" is for once not Ruin's. You guys know that I've written a little bit about Ruin's in the past so this one is a little bit about Solar's. It's basically about his version of Sun in his dimension and what happened. So with that being said I hope you guys enjoy ;3
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- Last Part -
~ Solar's POV ~

Solar: *sighs* "I honestly wanted to come here because of wanting to collect things to decorate the table and the house in general. Things such as pinecones and the colorful leaves. I aways watched my Sun do this in my home dimension when we shared a body. He always loved doing that. So when we separated I continued the tradition to keep it alive for him even if it hurt me."

Ruin: "Aww that's not stupid at all darling. That's actually really sweet."

Solar: "Exactly. Which makes me wonder if this dimension's Sun would appreciate it too. I know he likes to decorate, Halloween was obvious enough."

Ruin: "He probably would."

Solar: "Yeah. Then when December comes around, I feel like the kids would love to decorate the pinecones like little Christmas Trees. Especially Dazzle since she loves doing arts and crafts."

Ruin: "That's sweet of you to think about them like that."

Solar: "I mean Dazzle and Twila are my nieces and Jack is my son, so all I want is to see them happy."

Ruin: "Fair enough. Plus, I dare say that does make sense as to why you brought those bags now."

Solar: "I... *blushes out of awkward embarrassment*... Y-Yeah."

Ruin: "Don't be such ashamed Darling. Give me one of the bags and I shall gladly help you with this tradition."

Solar: "Alright."

With that I hand him one of the bags and we started collecting pinecones and colorful leaves for decorating.

- Current Part -
~ Solar's POV ~

As we were doing this I felt something click inside me changing my entire mood. Doing this made me think back to what I had just told Ruin about watching my Sun do this when we shared a body. And how much my Sun use to love doing it.

The thought made me start to softly cry but I quickly tried to wipe the tears away and hide it. However, it wasn't working out very well as I slipped further and further into memories of my home dimension Sun.

I eventually felt myself almost break so I wondered off from Ruin to be alone. I found a tree and sat under it with my legs pulled up to my chest and just broke.

Even after all these years of him being gone it still always hurts to think about him. What's worse is that I always think I got over the loss of him because it's been so long since separation.

However, memories of my Sun always show me that I never have. That I never got over his death and most likely never will.

I can always tell I still have the unresolved trauma over losing my Sun. That the memories of him still hurt me and I still blame myself for killing him upon separation. Even if I know it wasn't my fault but his own.

~ Ruin's POV ~

I was honestly enjoying collecting the pinecones and colorful leaves. However, I eventually think I've collected enough and decided to show Solar.

Ruin: "Solar Darling I think I have enough but I'd like your input on it just to be sure."

I didn't get an answer.

Ruin: "Solar Darling?"

Still nothing.

Ruin: "Darling?"

With that I just sigh and start calling out to him. How the hell did I lose track of my boyfriend? We were with each other the entire time. Eventually, after a bit of looking for Solar I catch sight of him

He was sitting under a tree with beautiful bright red leaves still on the tree that haven't all fallen off yet. Other than that Solar looked upset. Curious I go over to him only to realize he crying. That's when I set the bag down next to his and sit beside him.

Ruin: "Darling?"

Solar: "I-I'm sorry I just..."

Ruin: "Darling, is everything alright?"

Solar: "Y-Yeah. I'm... I'm fine hun. Don't worry about it."

Ruin: "Solar, did I do something to upset you?"

Solar: No, oh god no. You did nothing wrong."

Ruin: "Then what happened? You were just fine when we started the date so what's with the sudden mood swing?"

Solar: "N-Nothing. Just... Just unresolved trauma of my past."

Ruin: "What ever do you mean by that?"

Solar: *sighs and wipes away tears* "Remember how I told you the reason as to why I collect pinecones and leaves just a little bit ago?"

Ruin: "To keep the tradition your Sun use to do. Yes, of course I remember you saying that."

Solar: "Well... there's your answer for my sudden mood change."

Ruin: " 'Even if it hurts me'. Ah, that makes sense now."

Solar: "Y-Yeah."

Ruin: "Darling..."

Solar: "Heh, it's always so funny to me. I always think I've gotten over the death of my dimension's Sun because it's been so long since we separated. But then I get a memory of him which only spirals into more memories of him like one after the next and then next thing I know it just breaks me. I guess that's my trigger to cry if I ever got into acting and needed to do a crying scene."

Hearing Solar say that last thing gave me a little bit of a chuckle because I knew exactly what he was talking about with that.

~ Solar's POV ~
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A/n:
Before you continue I just have to say this. Fun fact, I was listening to songs while editing this and guess what song came on just as I started editing this part in specific that you're about to read. Fucking... "I'm Not Him" by Mrs_Shadow. That song could've not come on at a more perfect moment while I was editing this part and for that reason I'll link it. It suits this part very well.

https://youtu.be/LaHDgZERhI4

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the rest of this oneshot ;3
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After saying what I said I just give a little bit of a forced chuckle between a sniff from crying.

Ruin: "You were close with your Sun more than you were with your Moon weren't you."

Solar: "Yeah. I've told you that before."

Ruin: "I know."

Solar: "Sun was the first person I saw when I woke up. He was always such a sweet, kind, gentle soul and he treated me with so much kindness. I trusted my life with him."

Ruin: ....

Solar: "Every time I think back to him now, it always makes me wonder if he was the hint to telling me my true sexuality from the very beginning without even me knowing myself at the time. I sometimes think I loved him not as a brother but romantically. Which is so strange to think about especially since coming out as gay after our very first date."

Ruin: .....

Solar: "God I miss my Sun so much. It crushed me the day he died"

I felt myself choking up again.

Solar: "Why? Why was he so stupid? Such a stupid adorable idiot. To separate when his poor body couldn't take another separation. Why?"

I then just fully broke down.

Ruin: "Darling..."

Solar: "Why did he pull such a stupid move! A stupid move like what this Moon did with KillCode!"

Ruin: "Darling."

Solar: "I-It was not worth the sacrificing of his own life for mine! He died because of me! I'm the reason my poor Sunny is gone! Sometimes I wish I was never born then he'd still be alive!"

Ruin: "DARLING!"

Solar: *realizes he was venting and ranting* "I-I'm sorry... I'm so sorry. You... you shouldn't have to see me like this. I... fuck... I walked away from you for this very reason. I... I knew if you saw me like this something like this would happen."

That's when I try to turn away only to feel Ruin hug me. When he did I don't know what came over me but I just fell into his arms now basically laying in his. My arms now wrapped around his waist with my head pressed against his chest sobbing against it.

Ruin: "Oh, Darling."

Solar: "I miss my home and my Sun!"

Ruin: "I'm so sorry Solar. If I could reverse what I did I would. I can't reverse you losing your Sun though even if I could reverse my doing with my machine."

Solar: "I-I know, and it's ok. You had to do it. You had to protect us from The Creator Council."

Ruin: ....

Solar: "Much like you still holding the weight and regret of killing me. I... I regret what happened to my Sun even if it wasn't my fault but his own. He still died because of me. I still feel like I was the direct cause of his death."

Ruin: "Solar, it wasn't your fault."

Solar: "I... I know. But I still feel like it was."

Ruin: "I can understand that."

Solar: "Like if I was never created, or if we were never separated he'd still be alive..."

Ruin: "Oh Solar Darling, don't say that. It was a good thing for you to be created and separated from your Sun."

Solar: "Sometimes it doesn't feel like it."

Ruin: "Darling...."

I didn't say anything back and Ruin understood that and followed. We were now completely silent for a little while and I just allowed myself to cry while Ruin tried his best to comfort me. It was working at least a little bit.

However, even if it was working, this entire thing did feel kinda odd to me considering I'm usually the one to comfort Ruin. It's very rare that I'm the one to break and need to be comforted by him. Either way, Ruin then realized something and spoke up.

Ruin: "Solar?"

Solar: ....

Ruin: "Are you sure you are like this because of your Sun or is that just a cover up?"

Solar: "W-What do you mean? Of course it's my Sun."

Ruin: "Positive? Or are you just using your Sun as a cover up for actually grieving over Nexus."

Solar: "What?"

Ruin: "Listen darling, it's just a thought. But you said it yourself. What happened on the 31st was hard on all of you. Sun and Earth the most. So I can only assume you fall under the "affected the most" category too."

Solar: "So?"

Ruin: "And knowing you for as long as I have, you are not one to show much emotion at all. You force it down and tightly bottle it up until that pressure becomes too much and suddenly bursts out in an explosion all at once and at complete random too."

Solar: ....

Ruin: "So because of the events I can only assume you have been under much stress and forcing back your grievances for Nexus to help the others through theirs. That you haven't had a proper chance to grieve him on your own. So this is you doing that now because the bottle finally exploded from the pressure."

Solar: .....

Ruin: "Because I know you and Nexus were close before he went insane. So tell me the truth Darling, are you using your Sun as a cover up for your current grievances over Nexus?"

Solar: "I... I honestly think it's both."

Ruin: "I can see that."

Solar: "It's mainly because of my Sun though. I... I could currently care less about Nexus because of multiple things. Some of them being he almost killed Moon, he almost kidnapped Sun, he treated you terribly and tortured you simply for his own pleasure, he threatened my son, he threatened Dazzle, he threatened everyone in the celestial family and did so much more. He is not the Moon I use to know. So again, I'm mainly like this due to unresolved trauma over losing my Sun."

Ruin: "That is more than fair."

Solar: "Yeah. At least my Sun's death wasn't painful. He died instantly upon separating that day. I still remember his last words in his soft dying breath too... "I love you so much Eclipse. You will go far, so far and do... amazing things. So many...amazing things. Take care of... Moon... for me and... stay strong... okay. I'm so... proud of you... Eclipse, so... very... proud of... you..." then he took his final breath and shutdown forever with nothing but a single tear rolling down his cheek after going limp."

Ruin: "That's why you said "I'm so proud of you, both of you." to the Sun and I guess Nexus before dying due to my doing. You restated your Sun's last words stated to you."

Solar: "Yeah... I did. It was the truth though. I was proud of them at the time and I still am. Sun at least."

Ruin: "That is quite bitter sweet. That you restated your Sun's last words stated to you but to your new found family."

Solar: "Yeah."

Ruin: .....

Solar: "Anyway, I hate to be the barer of bad news and cut this short but, I feel like I ruined this date due to suddenly becoming depressed over memories. So I'm very sorry about that and kind of feel ashamed of myself. Especially since this little date was suppose to be fun and happy."

Ruin: "Nonsense Darling. You didn't ruin it at all."

Solar: "Thanks hun."

Ruin: "Of course."

Solar: "But really, I... I now kinda just want to go home. As in the manor home."

Ruin: "That's more than understandable Dear."

Solar: .....

Ruin: "Would you like me to come with you?"

Solar: "Y-Yeah."

Ruin: "Then let us go. Plus I think we have enough leaves and pincones anyway. It's also getting dark so I think it's best if we head back for that reason too."

Solar: "Yeah..."

With that the two of us stood up, grabbed our bags and started walking to the house. I was honestly a little weepy the entire time we headed back to the house.

End A/n:
And I'm ending this oneshot here. However, I am planning on making a part 3 so look out for that. Anyway, with that being said I hope you guys enjoyed this oneshot as it was approximately 2520 words in all by the end of it so until next time...
"Stay Awesome, Stay Safe, Have A Great Day Wherever You May Be And Remember I Love You All And I Will See You Guys Escalater Peace Out My Pups" ;3

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