♥︎ ✯ ☘︎︎

𝟏𝟗 ... 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐠𝐮𝐭

☘︎︎ ✯ ♥︎

callie 💋

My skin is covered in goosebumps and my fingers are starting to turn purple, but I don't feel a thing. How can I, when I'm sitting in front of my biological father's house? A man I didn't know existed until recently? A man my mom lied to me over? The cold is the least of my concerns.

Sam lives in Oxford, England. I recall Mom mentioning in her journal that he got his Master's degree from Oxford University, and according to the internet, he is now an English professor there. I guess his dreams panned out.

His house is small, much more modest than I expected from an established university professor. He lives on the edge of town, and based on the bicycle leaning against the side of the brick house, I'm guessing he bikes to work. The house is condo style, Sam's being the one on the end. All the homes are built from red brick and have a small front yard. The house next door to Sam's has a small playground, but my biological father's house lacks any evidence of children. Rather, he has a blooming flower garden that puts Mom's garden at home to shame. She's always enjoyed plants, but it seems that Sam has the greenest thumb around. Or maybe it's his wife that tends the garden.

I have been sitting in the park across the street for over an hour, lost in thought. What is Sam like? Is he married? Do I have half-siblings? It doesn't seem like Mom told him about me, but did he somehow find out? Is he going to be angry to learn the truth? Should I leave without even seeing him?

I don't know how long I sit there before the bench squeaks as someone sits beside me. Glancing to my right, a whoosh of air leaves my lungs when I recognize the young man beside me.

"Your stalker skills are quite impressive," Matt comments, offering me a small smile. "I'm almost a little frightened by how easily you found him."

My lips curl in a tiny smile, cracking slightly from being turned down in a frown for so long. "You came."

"Of course I did." Matt shifts on the bench to face me, his eyes searching mine. "I told you you don't have to do this alone."

"Thank you," I whisper, emotion rising in my chest as I squeeze Matt's hand.

"You're freezing!" he exclaims, grabbing my other hand to clutch them both between his own. I don't realize how cold I am until Matt's warm hands are on my skin and a shiver courses through my body. "How long have you been sitting out here?"

"I don't know. I thought about knocking, but..." I hesitate, the words catching in my throat. Being vulnerable is still scary enough to make me queasy, but Matt flew from a different country to be here with me. If that's not proof that he isn't going anywhere, I don't know what is. "I wanted to wait for you. I'm scared to meet him. I don't want to do it alone."

Matt's eyes light up, and although he suppresses his smile, his entire face glows. "You trust me."

"Shut up!" I laugh, pulling my dethawed hands away from Matt to shove his shoulder. "So not the time to start gloating."

"Can we still fight sometimes though?" Matt chimes as I stand from the bench. "You're hot when you're mad."

I roll my eyes, but my grin is inevitable. "You're an idiot."

Matt winks at me as he hops up and links his fingers through mine. "Yeah, but I'm your idiot."

I'm your idiot. Matt's words make me blush, and I know he sees the colour on my cheeks when he smirks.

"Well?" Matt prompts when I don't say anything, his tone softening. "Do you want to go knock?"

My stomach seizes at Matt's words, my eyes returning to the elusive red front door. I draw a deep breath and swallow harshly, my heart racing as if trying to escape the incoming confrontation.

"You don't have to do this," Matt says gently, squeezing my hand. "It's not on you to tell him the truth."

"I know," I mumble, my eyes catching on a shadow moving past one of the front windows. Someone is home. "But I need to see his face."

With a deep breath, I march across the street, my pulse hammering in my ears. Matt does the honours of opening the dark brown picket fence and allows me to walk through before closing the gate behind us. Only when I reach the front door do I hesitate. "Am I being rash? Bryn says I need to think through things more thoroughly before I act, but I'm not good at doing that, and I don't know if this is a good idea, but I–"

"Callie," Matt interrupts quietly, his hand on my arm. "Your spontaneousness is one of the first things that drew me to you. I love that you're not an overthinker and always do what feels natural. Trust your gut. I believe in you."

The street is quiet behind us, and the only noise I can hear is the faint sound of birds chattering in the park. So when I finally lift my fist to knock, the sound is defeating. As are the footsteps that immediately draw closer to the front door.

My eyes widen and my pulse jumps. "Shit, this is a bad idea." I scramble backwards down the stone walkway, my head shaking frantically. "Mom wouldn't like that I'm here. I should talk to her first. This is a bad idea."

Matt's eyes widen in shock and he quickly glances between me and the door. "Do you want to leave?"

The door swings open before I can make a run for it, and all the words I thought I had prepared vanish like smoke. Standing in the doorway is a man whose face mirrors my own in ways I never expected.

My breath catches. He has my hair—thick, dark waves that curl just slightly at the ends. His eyes are the only contrast, darker than mine but sharp and steady as they land on me. His face is weathered, kind but cautious, and though he smiles politely, there's a faint wrinkle of confusion between his brows.

"Hello," he says, his voice warm and tinged with a British accent. "Can I help you?"

I don't answer. I can't. My heart is lodged in my throat, and every instinct screams at me to flee. I should never have come. But Matt is at my side, his hand a steady weight on my lower back, grounding me.

When I don't speak, Matt clears his throat, stepping slightly forward. "Hi. Are you Sam?"

Sam's gaze shifts to Matt, his polite smile returning. "I am. And you are?"

Matt glances at me, a flicker of hesitation in his eyes, before answering. "I'm Matt. This is Callie."

"Callie?" Sam repeats, his focus snapping back to me. His smile falters slightly as he studies me more closely, his expression turning thoughtful. "You look... familiar. Do I know you?"

My mouth is dry, my tongue heavy, but somehow, I force the words out. "You knew my mom. Lucy Laughty."

Sam freezes. His smile disappears completely, and his eyes narrow, scanning my face with renewed intensity. "Lucy?" he echoes, his voice quieter now. "I haven't heard that name in years. What brings you here?"

The words tumble out before I can stop them. "She lied to you."

Sam stiffens, his shoulders drawing back as if bracing for impact. "I'm sorry?"

"She lied," I repeat, my voice cracking under the weight of the truth. My hands clench into fists at my sides, my nails biting into my skin. "She told you she wasn't in love with you anymore. That there was someone else. But that wasn't true."

Sam's jaw tightens, the crease between his brows deepening. "I don't understand. What are you saying?"

I hesitate, but Matt's hand moves to my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. You can do this, he seems to say. I take a shaky breath.

"She broke up with you because she found out she was pregnant. She didn't want to ruin your dreams, so she lied. She didn't tell you that you were going to be a father."

The silence is deafening. Sam's face is a storm of emotions—shock, disbelief, anger, and something else I can't quite place. Slowly, he leans against the doorframe, his arms crossing over his chest as he processes my words.

Finally, he speaks, his voice rough. "Did she... did she have the baby?"

I nod, tears pricking my eyes. "She did."

Sam's expression softens, but his voice trembles when he asks, "What's the child's name?"

I swallow hard, my voice barely above a whisper. "Callie. My name is Callie."

His breath catches audibly, and for a moment, he just stares at me, unblinking. Then, to my astonishment, he laughs—a deep, incredulous sound that echoes in the quiet street. His hand comes up to cover his mouth, and when he pulls it away, I see tears glistening in his eyes.

"You're my daughter?" he asks, his voice thick with emotion.

"Yes," I whisper, my own tears spilling over.

Sam steps forward, his hands trembling slightly as he hesitates. "Can I... Can I hug you?"

I nod, and the next thing I know, I'm wrapped in his arms. His embrace is firm and warm, and I feel his chest rise and fall against mine as he lets out a shaky breath.

"I can't believe this," he murmurs, his voice muffled in my hair. "I have a daughter."

A sob escapes me, and I clutch the back of his shirt, letting myself cry for the first time since I discovered the truth. He smells like something clean and familiar—spiced cologne and fresh apples. It feels like home in a way I never expected.

"I'm sorry you didn't know," I whisper. "I'm so sorry."

Sam pulls back slightly, his hands resting on my shoulders as he looks at me with a mixture of wonder and heartbreak. "Don't apologize," he says softly. "None of this is your fault."

I nod, sniffling, and Sam smiles—a real, unguarded smile that lights up his face. "You look just like my mother," he says, his voice full of awe. "Your grandmother. Her name is Callie too."

The warmth in his voice melts away the last of my fear. "Really?"

"Really," he says, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. "She'll be over the moon when she finds out about you."

The moment feels fragile and perfect, like glass catching sunlight. For the first time, I let myself believe that maybe, just maybe, coming here wasn't a mistake.

"What about you?" I ask hesitantly, almost nervous to hear Sam's answer. "Are you married?"

"No, I'm not." Sam smiles tightly, his expression guarded. "No one compares to your mother."

"She hasn't been with anyone else since you either," I say softly. "She really loved you. I think she still might."

Sam closes his eyes for a moment, seemingly soaking in my words. When he opens his eyes, they are misty. He clears his throat and steps away from me to extend his hand to Matt, who is lingering behind me. "So, are you the boyfriend?"

My heart leaps at Sam's words and I glance at Matt, grinning when he wiggles his eyebrows at me. "We'll see."

Sam laughs, the sound warming me from my head to my toes. "You sound like your mother."

Both of us realize the weight of his words at the same time and our smiles falter.

"She doesn't know I'm here," I admit, still uncertain about this entire situation, despite already being fond of Sam. "She gave me her journal from when she was in Europe and she wrote the truth in there. That's how I found out."

Sam shakes his head in what seems to be a mixture of amazement and frustration. "When Lucy puts her mind to something, there's no getting past her. I shouldn't be surprised she managed to keep such a big secret for so long." He sighs, but quickly shakes off his mixed emotions and smiles at me again. "But we can handle that later. Would you and Matt like to stay for dinner? I have a pot roast on."

I glance at Matt, and when he smiles encouragingly at me, I nod. "Yes, that would be lovely."

Sam beams, his entire face lighting up with an indescribable glow. "Wonderful. I need to check the roast, but you two are welcome to come in. Make yourselves at home." He ushers us into the small front entryway before closing the door behind us and padding down the hallway and to the kitchen.

Matt gently wraps his hand around my wrist, drawing my attention to him. "How are you holding up?" His voice is low, a private thread of concern woven just for me.

I glance toward the kitchen, where Sam's footsteps are faint but steady, and I shrug. "It's a lot," I admit softly, as if saying it louder might shatter me. "I thought I'd feel angry or...betrayed. But I don't. I just feel...relieved? I don't really know."

Matt nods, his expression thoughtful. "It's okay to feel everything—or nothing. You're allowed to take this at your own pace."

For a moment, the calm strength in his words anchors me, keeping me from drifting into the storm of my emotions. "You always know what to say," I murmur, offering a half-smile. "It's annoying sometimes."

A grin tugs at the corner of his mouth. "What can I say? I'm a man of many talents."

I roll my eyes, but the laugh that escapes me feels light and genuine. "Yeah, like running your mouth."

"Exactly." Matt's hand shifts down to gently lace his fingers with mine. The touch is grounding, steadying the rush of everything swirling in my chest. "But seriously, Cal. You were brave today. This—" he gestures lightly toward the house, toward the weight of meeting Sam, "—isn't easy. And you didn't have to do it, but you did. I'm proud of you."

Something warm blooms in my chest at his words. "You make it easier," I confess, my voice barely above a whisper.

His gaze softens, and there's a flicker of something deeper in his expression—pride, maybe, or affection. "I'll always be here for you. You know that, right?"

I don't realize I'm holding my breath until his words settle into me, warm and sure. "I'm starting to."

Matt's eyes search mine, and the moment stretches between us, delicate yet electric. Slowly, I step closer, my hand tightening around his. Rising on my toes, I press a soft kiss to his cheek, lingering just long enough for my lips to brush his skin.

When I pull back, his eyes are wide, his usual cocky smirk replaced with something more vulnerable. "I don't know how to handle you sometimes," he breathes, his voice low and slightly shaky. "You're kind of incredible."

The sincerity in his words takes me off guard, and I can't help but smile as my heart pounds against my ribs.

Before I can respond, Sam's voice calls out from the kitchen. "Dinner's ready, kids!"

I glance toward the hallway, then back at Matt. "Ready to have dinner with my dad?"

He squeezes my hand, his smirk making a triumphant return. "I think the bigger question is, is he ready to have dinner with us?"

Shaking my head with a chuckle, I let him lead me down the hallway. His hand is warm in mine, steady and reassuring, and for the first time in what feels like forever, I'm not walking into the unknown alone.

cara's obsession ❀

since i know you're all DYING to know how the canucks game i went to was... THEY WON!!! it was INSANE. i'll spare you the details but it was an overtime win and i was on the edge of my seat. they also won another game today so they are cooking

i still have not started studying yet but my bedroom has never been cleaner! so at least i'm being productive in some sense lol. but probably no more chapters until i finish my semester since i have now left everything until the last minute. so i'll see you when i see you!

question of the day! if you celebrate christmas, what is your favourite christmas movie? home alone is my top fav, but i'm also very fond of elf and the grinch (jim carey version). die hard is also excellent, tho some may argue it's not a christmas movie (it definitely is)

i love you all so so much!! thank you for all the support you give me every day. it means the world 🧡 happy december!

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