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𝟏𝟔 ... 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧

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sperm donor 💀

Callie, we need to talk.

Please answer me.

You can't ignore me forever.

Your mom told me you're in Europe. I would have appreciated knowing that before our breakfast so I didn't show up and wait for you for a half hour.

We may not be close, but you're still my daughter. I would like to resolve this.

I'll be here when you get home. Please come see me.

callie 💋

I roll my eyes and shove my phone in my pocket. My father is insufferable. You would think that after a month of being ghosted, he would get the message, but apparently not.

"I'll answer him for you," Nathan smirks as he pops another chip into his mouth. "I'll tell him we got married and I'm the only man you need in your life."

I snort in amusement, stealing a chip from the bag on Nate's lap. "I think that would make things worse."

Nate shrugs, his grin not faltering. "You'll never know until you try."

The two of us are sprawled across the couch in the living area of the bus as it transports us from Antwerp to Amsterdam. The Antwerp show wrapped a few hours ago and we hit the road immediately, eager to reach Holland before midnight. Everyone else is either in their bunks or in the kitchen, leaving Nate and I alone.

"Can we talk about Matt looking at you like he's in love with you?"

My pulse leaps at Nate's words, but I narrow my face into a frown. "I thought I told you to drop it!"

Nate rolls his eyes and shoves my head away from him. "Get that fake ass frown away me. I know you like him."

Shaking my head, I close my eyes for a second. I can still feel Matt's hot lips against my own, his rough hands tight on my body, the hard wall behind my back. I don't think I will ever be able to forget what it feels like to have him so close to me.

"Look at you!" Nate shrieks, forcing my eyes to fly open. "You're blushing!"

"I am not!" I argue, clapping my hands over my cheeks that are indeed warm. "I don't like him!"

Nathan narrows his eyebrows at me, shifting in his seat to fully face me. He studies me for a moment, making me squirm. His eyes catch on something below my eyeline and his entire face lights up. Before I can react, he reaches forward and yanks down the hem of my sweatshirt. "Ah ha!"

I don't have to look down to see what Nate is seeing: a handful of purple splotches mark my lower neck and collarbone, remnants of Matt's angry kissing. When I realized they were there, I spent longer than I care to admit studying them in the mirror. How could I not, when they're visible proof Matt feels something for me too? Proof that I'm not alone in whatever is going on between us?

"Nate!" I hiss, smacking his hand away and yanking my sweater up to cover the hickeys.

But he doesn't seem to hear me, since he is laughing so hard he falls off the couch. "I knew it!" he wheezes, clutching his stomach as he rolls on the floor. "Fuck me, I'm so smart!"

My mouth turns down in a scowl and I cross my arms over my chest as I glare at Nathan. "You are an actual child."

Once Nate settles down, he remains on the floor in front of me, but sits up and crosses his legs. His face is stretched in a wide smirk, and he raises his eyebrows suggestively. "So. You and Matt."

"I don't want to talk about it!" I whip a pillow at Nate, but he easily catches it and tosses it back on the couch beside me.

"You know, I thought Bryn was a lot of work when she was harbouring her feelings for Chris, but Cal, I think you're even worse."

I glare at Nate and sink lower on the couch as the bus jostles over uneven roads. I burrow my head in my hands, unable to meet Nate's gaze. "I don't know what I'm doing." My voice comes out muffled, but I know Nate will have understood me. After playing so many video games with shitty audio connections, we can understand each other in practically any situation.

If I'm being honest, I'm terrified to see Matt again. After we made out, he had to race off to make it to the stage on time for the show, and as soon as the show ended, we all boarded the bus. I can't stop wondering, is he going to act like the kiss was nothing? Will he acknowledge it at all? It certainly seems like he is interested in me, I can see that clearly now, but what if he changes his mind? It kills me to admit it, but I don't want him to change his mind.

The couch sinks under Nate's weight as he sits beside me, his hand gently resting on my shoulder. "I don't think he knows what he's doing either if that helps. But as much as you want to deny it, it's clear that you really like him, and he's obviously head over heels for you."

"Who's head over heels for her?" Bryn skips into the living room, Chris close behind her. The door to the bunks swings shut behind them, but based on the noise behind the closed door, the others will soon be joining us.

"Matt," Nate answers easily, making my jaw drop.

"Well, obviously." Bryn rolls her eyes, adjusting the backpack hanging over her shoulder. "I've known that for months."

"He is?" Chris' brow crinkles in confusion as he glances between Bryn, Nate, and me. "I thought you guys hated each other?"

I groan and return to hiding in my hands, not pleased with having my love life so publicly discussed.

Bryn must sense my discomfort because she clears her throat, drawing the boys' attention to her. "We're almost at the hotel. Nate, are you ready to get off the bus?"

As Nate is nodding, the bunk room door swings open again and Nick, Madi, and Matt spill out.

"All look, we're all here!" Nick coos, clapping his hands together dramatically. "Should we make a toast? Go around and say what we're thankful for? Take a photo to commemorate a moment of us actually being together?"

I meet Matt's gaze over Nick's shoulder, and to my surprise, he winks at me, his lips tilting up in a smirk. I flip him off in response, but I can't stop the tiny smile from growing on my face. Matt doesn't miss my smile, and his smirk grows in response.

"We're together all the time, Nick," Chris says exasperatedly as he collapses onto the couch beside Nate.

"Barely!" Nick snaps, though he's clearly not actually mad. Probably just tired after a long day. "You and Bryn are always sneaking off together, and anytime we're actually all together, Matt and Callie are at each other's throats like wild animals. And being a part of a conversation with the two of them is the equivalent of trying to talk to an old deaf man while my head is being slammed between a set of cymbals!"

My gaze drifts back to Matt and I subconsciously lift my hand to where I know he marked my skin. Matt's eyes are still glued to mine and his smirk hasn't faded. He casually scratches at his chest, tugging down his own sweater so I can see a couple of purple splotches along his collarbone. A smirk of my own grows at the sight of the hickeys I left behind.

Bryn laughs loudly, yanking my gaze away from Matt. "Nick, I swear you become more and more like Jim Carey's 'The Grinch' every day."

Nick's face quickly morphs into a glowing smile. "That's the best fucking compliment you could ever give me. He is so hot."

"You are sick," Chris grumbles.

"I don't get it either," Madi pipes up, her delicate features pulled tight in a frown. "He's all hairy and gross. You just know he smells like onions."

Nick groans loudly and stomps to the front of the bus, which is slowly rolling to a stop. "You're all tasteless!"

The bus driver opens the door for Nick, allowing us to hear the sounds of the city around us. Amsterdam is fairly quiet at this time of night, but I can still hear the faint hum of cars on a distant road, plus the chatter of people and soothing jazz music that must be coming from a nearby restaurant.

Bryn throws a grin at me before taking off after Nick, Chris and Madi quickly following after her. Nate is slower to leave since he pauses to nudge my arm and wiggle his eyebrows suggestively in Matt's direction before sauntering off the bus.

Matt and I are left alone, and my cheeks automatically warm as my stomach flutters. I avoid Matt's gaze as I stand from the couch and swing my duffel bag over my shoulder, but when he grabs my wrist, my eyes fly to his like magnets.

"Meet me in the lobby once Bryn and Madi are asleep," he whispers, his gaze not leaving mine.

My brow crinkles slightly in confusion, but my pulse jumps eagerly. "Why?"

Matt smirks and drops my wrist. "You'll see." With that, he strolls off the bus, leaving me alone with a heart beating fast enough to make my breath catch. That boy is doing things to me I never thought would be possible, and I can't say I'm entirely mad about it.

matt 🍁

When Callie arrives in the dimly lit lobby just after one o'clock in the morning, I'm sitting on the couch playing Clash of Clans on my phone. But when I hear her soft footsteps approaching, my eyes shoot up, eager to locate the girl who has taken over my every thought.

She changed out of the sweatpants and oversized hoodie she was wearing on the bus. Now, she's dressed in leggings and a baby blue sweatshirt underneath her usual black leather jacket. Her hair is hanging in loose waves over her shoulders, and as she nears me, the scent of her lavender perfume overcomes my senses. She's irresistible.

"Hi," she says quietly, her gaze bouncing around the lobby as if unsure where to look. Has she always been this adorable?

"Hi." I match her tone as I stand from the couch. Her eyes finally meet mine and I offer her a gentle smile. "You're wearing my favourite colour."

Pink tinges Callie's cheeks and she looks down at her sweater, not saying anything. She remembered. Is that why she put on this sweater?

I've never seen Callie shy before, and I study her for a moment, memorizing her soft features and the way she tucks her hair behind her ears. A nervous tick, perhaps? My lips curve into a smile and I shake my head slightly in amazement. This girl is incredible. "Are you ready for our first date?"

Callie's eyes widen and her mouth gapes slightly. "Our first what?"

My smile morphs into a smirk and I confidently grab Callie's hand, interlacing our fingers as I tug her towards the lobby exit. "Our first date." Her skin is warm against mine, and I pretend I don't immediately overanalyze how her hand fits in mine like a missing puzzle piece.

Callie sputters in surprise, lengthening her strides to match my pace. "What?"

"We're going on a date," I repeat my words again, unable to hold back an eye roll. "Need me to say it in Spanish?"

"I don't even speak Spanish, asshole," Callie snaps, coming back to life from her state of shock. "What makes you think I want to go on a date with you?"

"I'm getting pretty good at reading you." I open the lobby door for Callie, allowing her to take the first step into the brisk night air. The canal in front of our hotel is speckled with golden reflections from the lights lining the street, casting the handful of parked boats in an eerie lighting. The restaurant next door closed at some point, leaving the area void of people. Callie and I seem to be the only people in the world, with only the stars to keep us company.

I reclaim Callie's hand as the hotel door swings shut behind us, grinning when she doesn't complain. "I think I could win an award for how well I can decipher your facial expressions."

Callie scoffs in disbelief. "You're so full of shit."

"You love it." I tug Callie's hand to steer her over one of the bridges, pausing for a second in the centre. "Have you looked up yet?"

Callie frowns inquisitively at me, but her chin tips up as her eyes go to the sky. "Oh," she says softly, her eyes widening in awe.

I follow her gaze to where countless stars twinkle above us. Still, I only look at them briefly before dropping my eyes to admire Callie instead. "I remember you saying you like stars."

Callie slowly lowers her eyes from the sky to meet my gaze, her mouth tight with uncertainty.

"You said they make you feel small. Reminds you the world is so much bigger than all your problems." My voice is low, and a shiver races down my spine when Callie's throat moves as she swallows. "That no matter what, the stars are always there, and that comforts you."

"How do you remember that?" Callie's voice cracks, her eyes wide with disbelief. "I said that when we first met months ago. And then I was a bitch to you."

"How you acted didn't matter." Nerves rise in my chest, but I push them down, keeping my gaze locked on Callie's shocked brown eyes. She needs me to be brave. And I owe her honesty. "I was a goner from the first time you opened your mouth."

"Even though I'm mean?" Callie whispers, her hand tightening around mine.

A cold breeze swells around us, but I hardly notice it. Not when my heart is beating so loud I'm sure the entire city can hear it. "I love it when you're mean," I murmur, untangling my fingers from hers so I can cup her face. "You're unapologetically you, and I love that."

Callie's breath catches, her fingers tightening on my jacket.

"And yeah, I love it when you yell at me," I continue, my voice soft. "Even when you're tearing me apart, I can't look away."

Callie shudders slightly and shifts closer to me, clenching the front of my jacket in her hands. "Why? Most people hate those things about me."

A flicker of fury rumbles through my chest at the thought of people making Callie feel like she's not good enough. Nevertheless, I force myself to focus on the smell of Callie's perfume and the warmth of her body so close to mine. Now is not the time to get upset. "Those people are idiots."

Callie looks down for a second, and when she meets my gaze again, fire burns in her eyes. "You make me feel seen." She is fighting to keep her voice strong, but her words tremble slightly. "You make me feel valued, and safe. And that scares me. But I don't think I mind being scared if you're by my side."

She hesitates for a second, words catching in her throat. I gently swipe my thumbs over her cheekbones, and that seems to reinstall courage in her.

"I love how brave you are."

My thumbs still at Callie's words, my breath halting. She thinks I'm brave? I'm the biggest chicken shit out there. I have anxiety over the stupidest things. How could she think I'm brave when she's the one who's overcome so much?

Callie tugs on my jacket, drawing my attention back to her. "I mean it," she says softly, reading the uncertainty on my face. "I see how you struggle with certain things, yet you always push through. I really admire that. And I love how you make me feel like it's okay to be myself. I never thought I would admit this, but even though you can be a dick, you're surprisingly really kind."

I laugh and release Callie's face to wrap my arms around her shoulders, pulling her into a hug. "Imagine that."

Callie's arms twist around my waist and she giggles into my chest, the sound vibrating from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. Her body is warm against mine, and it feels like she fits perfectly in my arms. She is just the right height for my chin to rest on top of her head, giving me a wonderful waft of her coconut shampoo.

"I know you're scared," I murmur, tangling my hand in Callie's hair as I cup her head. "But I promise I won't let you down. All I'm asking for is a chance."

Callie hums and I feel her chest rise against my own as she takes a deep breath. "If you break my heart, Sturniolo, I'll hunt you down and kill you."

My lips widen in a smile and I kiss the top of Callie's head, unable to contain my glee. "I'm counting on it." Untangling my arms from around the girl I am obsessed with, I once again grab her hand to continue walking. "Let's go, we're going to be late."

"Late for what?" Callie laughs as she falls in step beside me, her smile bright as she meets my gaze. "Your idea of a date wasn't a sap fest on a bridge in Amsterdam?"

"Ha, ha," I say dryly, rolling my eyes. "Please. I know you better than that. We're going to play laser tag, and I'm going to kick your ass."

"Laser tag?" Callie's smile grows even bigger, and my chest constricts at the sight of her so happy. "I love laser tag! But it's so late, is there really somewhere open?"

"Yup." I squeeze Callie's hand, returning her smile. "There's a place a couple blocks away that's open until two am. And I booked us the last time slot."

Callie glances at me with a look I don't quite recognize as she shakes her head in disbelief. "You're amazing. I still hate you, though, just so we're clear."

Callie's words make my stomach explode in a flurry of nerves, fire zimming through my veins. "You know, they say there is a thin line between love and hate. Are you secretly madly in love with me, Callie?" I tease, laughing when her cheeks turn pink.

But instead of acting embarrassed, Callie tilts her chin up and winks at me confidently. "Maybe I'll tell you after you lose at laser tag to make you feel better."

My jaw drops, heat rushing to my own cheeks. I know she's just messing with me, but the idea of Callie being in love with me... I might need to jump into the canal to calm myself down.

Callie laughs and tugs my hand. "Come on, you big softie. I'll say more things to make you blush like that again later."

"I am not a big softie," I grumble, dropping Callie's hand to settle my arm over her shoulders. "And I was not blushing."

"It's okay, I won't tell anyone." Callie pats my stomach, her eyes shining as she looks up at me. "It'll be our little secret."

I roll my eyes, but my lips tilt into a smile of their own accord. "You're going to be a piece of work, aren't you?"

"Yup!" Callie chirps, bouncing on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek. "You'll love it."

Despite already running late to get to laser tag, I can't stop myself from stopping in my tracks. Once again, I cup Callie's face in my hands and press a firm kiss to her perfect lips. Just like earlier in the dressing room, she responds immediately, her arms twisting around my neck as she kisses me back, her mouth hot against my own.

And when she slips from my grasp and strolls away from me, chattering about how beating me in laser tag is going to be easy because my mind is stuck in the gutter, all I can do is catch up to her and secure her hand in mine again.

Because the thing is, I think I already do love it.

cara's obsession ❀

"it's finals season so you're going to see less of me! not as many chapters! ONCE A WEEK IF YOURE LUCKY"

WHY AM I THE BIGGEST LIAR IN THE ENTIRE WORLD 💀💀💀💀 i need serious help lmaoooo

exciting newsss i got a new job! i am now a jewellery sales associate 😋 i had my first shift today and i have to memorize so many facts about watches and gems and whatnot. it's kinda fun tho!

question of the day! if you celebrate christmas, do you have a wish list? this is a selfish question because my mom and grandma want to know what i want but i have no idea lolll so pls inspire me 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 last year i just ended up getting money but that's boring cause it always ends up going towards my bills 🥹

i hope you all have a wonderful weekend and get some good rest and quality time with your loved ones!! you are all such incredible people!!!! see you soon 😋

🍉 🍉 🍉