Levi's patients never stuck in his head until that day. He countless drained fluids from patients and waxed them to look alive again, but the thought of doing it to the suicide patient felt almost painful to him. To fill someone with new fluids and douse them in wax to make them look alive again didn't make him feel good, especially since he did not want to live in the first place. Levi could not forget the scars on the boy's arms. Of course, he wasn't new to seeing them, but they were deep and rippled, bumpy in texture. It was as if he was tearing himself apart to allow the sadness to leak out, and now, Levi would eventually have to cut him apart too.

It was convenient that Levi was going to attend his therapy session today. He had a lot on his mind, but also nothing at all. His lack of past memories did not affect his skill when it came down to his work, but it affected personal relationships and connections, and he was trying to work on it.

After taking a few spoonfuls of oatmeal and honey, he dragged himself to the washroom where he combed his hair and brushed his teeth. He had to look at least a little presentable, but working at the morgue made him feel that appearances weren't worth the effort, especially since most of the people he worked with did not even have the ability to see anymore. He decided to take public transit because he was too tired to drive, but it was only one bus ride away and he would reach his therapist's office in no time.

The ride there was sad. The weather was gloomy but had enough sun to allow it to pour through the thin sheet of clouds. It was not cold enough to wear a jacket but sent a chill through Levi's body whenever the door opened at stops. It was fortunate that the bus wasn't full, which allowed Levi's eyes to explore his surroundings as he made it down the depressing city of Shiganshina. Word had spread around like wildfire that there was a body found down by the beach, and in such a quiet city, this was nothing to turn away from.

Levi reached the office and knocked softly at the door, which was opened almost immediately by his therapist, Petra, who was famous in the city for her work and what she advocated for. It was thanks to his job benefits that Levi was fortunate to afford her services.

"Hi, Levi! Come in," she greeted and held the door open for him. They both made their way to her office space and sat themselves down. Something that Levi really liked about Petra was her office. It was a whimsical atmosphere to be in, with bright yellow and orange tapestries strung across the wall and ceiling, with a plethora of plants lining the windowsills and hanging on the walls like a little forest.  She had various photos of important figures and even her own patients framed just behind her desk, which also served as a space for all of her books and textbooks. Levi knew that the floor was supposed to be wooden, but it was kind of hard to tell with all the differently patterned rugs thrown about on it. This was a comforting space for him.

"So, Levi, how have you been doing lately?"

"With the recent news out, I think you can take a guess," Levi said with a quiet sigh.

"Yes," Petra agreed as she started jotting down in a notebook from behind her desk. "It's horrible, and I am so sorry you have to go through that. I know it's your job and that you're supposed to be dealing with this sort of thing, but never forget that it's normal and okay to feel some kind of way about it."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about today. When the body of the boy came in, I felt like I recognized him somehow. I don't know how or where, but I felt connected to him."

"This is a small city after all, so that would not surprise me. What did he look like?"

"Brown hair, supposedly green eyes and scars running up and down his arms. Kid looked like he just reached twenty. He could be of European decent," Levi explained.

Petra paused, and so did her writing on her notebook. She looked up at Levi blankly. "Levi, does the name Eren Jaeger ring a bell to you?"

"Eren..." Levi tasted the name in his mouth. His world came crashing down on him. It did not similar, but he could not decipher why. His lips and mouth have formed this name before, but that was all he knew. "It does."

"He was the son of doctor Grisha Jaeger, who I'm sure you've worked with before. He also a college drop-out following an accident with substance abuse. He was well known in the town to also work as a security guard, protecting and watching the gates of the city from anyone dangerous. However, this job also came to a stop as soon as he started using. This is all I know about him, and I do not know his relationship with you because we just started talking when you lost your memory."

"That does help quite a bit though, I could probably use this information for my work. Thanks, Petra."

"Any improvements you've been experiencing?"

"I can remember my mom's name without forgetting. I used to really struggle with that. I'm slowly starting to connect people's face with names again, and this has lead to some memories as well."

"That's excellent, Levi!" Petra started to scribble excitedly.

"Eren, however, I hope I can remember him too."

---

"I think I killed myself," Eren announced to Marco as they strolled around the forest paths of heaven. Heaven was vast, and had many different areas of peace and happiness to match everyone's loves back when they were alive. The swaying pines and willow trees towered over them, but it did not make him feel claustrophobic or afraid. The sun shined down in a glimmer of light, with the wind carrying the gentle smell of pinecones and oak sap. The ground they walked on glowed with every step, and all types of birds flew and soared across the sky. It was paradise, but still, Eren was unsettled.

"Are you referring to your scars?" Marco asked him.

"Yeah, that's got to be it, right?" Eren asked anxiously.

"That's a good guess, but that were the case, you'd have your wings by now."

"This is going to be impossible. I'm going to be banished into the void and there is nothing I can do about it."

"Well..." Marco started. "That's not completely true. You have two options. In every area of heaven we have a special mirror that allows us to visit the land of the living. Come on, I'll show you."

Marco and Eren continued on their path until they reached a small pond. It was teeming with frogs and waterlilies. The grass brushed against Eren's ankles as he inched closer to the pond. Looking into it, he realized that it was not just a pond. It sparkled with sparks of light and swirled into a mini whirlpool.

"This is the mirror of the woods. If you step into it and imagine any living person or place, it will bring you there. You can't interact with them, but if you try hard enough, you can interact with objects just like the poltergeists do. This is very difficult to do though, so you can only really watch."

"What's the other option?" Eren asked curiously.

"If you can someone gain this ability to move objects in the living world, you could potentially save a life. Let's say, someone is about to shoot a victim and you move the bull into another direction. You saved their life, and in return, you can go back to the land of the living as the person you were before you died. You save a life, so you come back to life."

Eren laughed and looked down at his arms. "I don't think I liked living very much."

"But you stayed for 23 years when you could have been gone sooner. Who was holding you back?" Marco asked with a soft smile.

"I had a boyfriend on earth," Eren began. "His name was Levi. It was a great relationship and he changed me as a person, even helped me get clean for a while. But we broke up and that's all I remember. I can't recall a single event that happened after the breakup, so I'm guessing I must have died soon after."

"Good job, Eren. See? You're already getting closer to uncovering the truth!"

"I don't think I could ever be alive again. Levi was a smart and mature man, and didn't have many enemies, so I don't think anyone plans to murder him anytime soon. Nor do I believe he is somehow going to be run over by a car. He's too smart to get even close to death."

"You never know, Eren, it could happen to anyone."

"I miss him," he said longingly. "I loved him a whole lot too. We were inseparable, but why would I ever want to go back to earth when it's so beautiful here? In a couple of decades, I'll meet him here anyways."

"Time works differently here, Eren," Marco said. "One year on earth is equivalent to five years here, so you'd be waiting a lot longer."

"Man that sucks," Eren said with a groan. "So those are my two only options?"

"Yes, so it'll feel like you have more time than thirty days, but you'll find that finding how you died will be extremely difficult. Almost half of the souls  who end up reaching heaven without their wings are banished into the voids because they could not figure it out, so you'll need to work fast and efficiently."

"I may have been a suicidal bastard in my living life, but I'm not a stupid one. I'll find a way."

---

hey y'all lol. i know it's been years since i last published a fanfic, but i have been getting so many comments telling me that some of y'all want more content, and so i delivered.

i hope this fic gets as much love as my previous ones. i study creative writing at uni so i'm a lot better at writing now i swear.

love,

-t