There are no words to paint a picture of you. There really are no words.

Your eyes, and those curves, it's like you're from some other world. When you walk in my way, God, it's so frustrating!  It makes me feel so small, like I've got no chance at all.

If you could be my superman, we'd fly to the stars and back again. 

Because every time you touch my hand,I can feel those powers of yours running through your veins.
 
It makes me feel so small. If I could read your mind, I would kill to find, any trace of me at all. If you could be my superman,I'd be your wonder woman!

It’s as if every time you touch my hand, I can feel my powers running through your veins. But, I know that I'm not that strong.  We walked the halls at school and we know it's casual.

The truth is I've grown fond of you so much! And, everyone knows we’re meant to be! That’s what’s infuriating me! Are you blind to my love plea? I know it would be my greatest mistake if I never told you how I felt, but I can’t stand another minute in this quiet solitude.

But, we’re just friends. Not friends with benefits, or no strings attached. We’re best friends. This is really quite desperate!

This morning, when we met in the parking lot, you called me beautiful. You didn’t mean much to it, but it meant the world to me! It’s so sad.

I looked across the room.  There you were with her. She was beautiful, lean, and curvaceous. Blond! And there was me, who was average, clumsy, scared, Redhead!

I’ve heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason. Bringing something we must learn, and we are leant to those who help us most to grow. We help them in return. I don’t know if I believe that’s true, but knowing you, Jay is the greatest thing. Just knowing you, I have been changed for good.

I sighed. Watching the two of you dance was just killing me. I mean I’ve been with you since sophomore year of secondary school up until now in our senior year of university. Being in love with you for these past five years have been terrible.

Seeing countless girls fawn over you, them asking me what your opinion was, or even you chasing bumbling fools. I deserved you. Oh, Jay!

I mean I had brains and knowledge. I was even popular among the guys as their best friend.

Or may be that was it? Best Friend? I was always the best friend.

“Hey, Jess!” I turned, seeing Pete waving in my direction.

I got up from my perch on his bar stool, weaving my way through the drunken crowd. “What’s up?”

“Did you hear from Oxford yet?”

I grimaced. “I’m actually hoping not to. Ugh! Law school will be the death of me–and I’m not even yet.” I laughed.

“You’ll get in! I already got my letter!”

“You’re an idiot!” I laughed. “Did you bribe your way into admissions?”

“Hey, hey! Those are fighting words, my friend.” Jay chortled, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

Because every time you touch my hand,I can feel those powers of yours running through your veins. I felt them coursing briskly. I felt so small again!

“I can kick Pete’s butt any given Sunday.” I laughed. “You know that–”

“Jay! Where’s that beer?” I glanced behind me, seeing the blonde–of tonight– leaning against an empty table. This was turning into one of the worst New Year’s party ever.

Pete was known for having this party at his family bar every year. All friends and family came, and all we ever did was have a great time. I’ve known Pete since we were in diapers, and, since meeting Jay, every year was the same.

He would meet a girl, take her home, fuck her brains out, and I would come to clean the scantily clad messes.  I knew I should’ve been used to it by now, but it isn’t something that’s easy to watch all the time.

“You better get back to her.” Pete said, “ You know Kenny is going to be all over her.”

Jay sighed. “Humph… He can have her for later. She’s too touchy! I need a chill chick for later. I want this New Year’s to be relaxed.”

“You’re not getting trashed this year?” I asked. Thank God!

“Nope,” he smiled, popping his p.

“Well, I am!” I grabbed the shot glass from Pete’s hand. “Cheers!”

It seemed eighteen shots later I was the life of the party. I danced with every girl and guy in the bar–even kissing a few. I knew that come New Year’s Day I would regret it, but I know I was tried of it.

I was tried of trying so hard for Jay. I was tried of being the mature girl everyone had to rely on. I wasn’t going to be taken advantage of anymore. I was going to be free-willed. That was my New Year’s resolution. I was going to be a whole new Jessica St. George.

Two thousand twelve was going to be my year. But I really didn’t want to ring in the New Year with a hangover.

After pulling away from some girls I just met, I grabbed three bottles of water from behind the bar, knowing that this was what I needed. I headed up the stairs, going into Pete’s loft above the bar.  It was much quieter in his spacey loft. 

As I hydrated myself, I walked toward the bathroom, feeling the urge to urinate. As I passed through the condo I knew so well, I heard it.

I knew this unmistakeable sound of Pete’s mahogany headboard banging against the brick wall. It was only 11:30, and someone was having more sex than I ever was. I had to tell them that we would be cheering for the New Year in a matter of time. It always got quiet when the Ball dropped, and no one needed to hear his or her sex escapades.

I opened the door, freezing.

Now, being best friends with a guy, I never actually saw him with his conquests. Why would I want to? It would kill me even more if I ever did, and right about now it was!

I just couldn’t take this. I couldn’t be such a lightweight when it came to him. I had to stop letting him be the sole thing that made me happy.

Jay seemed to stop mid-thrust when he saw me standing there.  I shook my head, feeling an unknown teardrop upon my cheek.

I know it would be my greatest mistake if I never told him how I felt, but I can’t stand another minute in this quiet solitude.

The truth is I've grown fond of you so much! And, everyone knows we’re meant to be! That’s what’s infuriating me!

“Shit! Jess! What are you doing here? Shit!”

“I had to pee!” I looked away as Jay pulled away from–wouldn’t you know it­– the blond girl he swore he didn’t want. I huffed, exiting the bedroom, closing the door, and leaning against the wall.

I was done!

I had to be! I knew I said it before countless time, but now I had to be.  

The slightest words he said all went to my head. Those stupid feelings I never knew I had–came whenever he pulled me close. They meant everything to me.

I was light on my heart for this guy, light on my feet, and all I wanted to be was the light in his eyes.

Through the door, I heard them talking quietly. Finally, the blond came out, blushing when she saw that I was still here, weeping even more.

 Finally, Jay came out, shirtless no less, looking apologetic. I stared at him. It was disgusting how he used girls all the time right in front of me. He wasn’t a jerk, but he was just so God damn amazing at everything he did–he could get away with it.

“Jess–”

“No! I need to say something!” I pushed myself off the wall, pushing him back into the room, slamming it behind me.

“Jess, come on! Let’s go back to the party.”

“NO!” I sighed. “ You need to know. I-I am in love with you Jay. And…and I just can’t take this anymore! I’m a-a lightweight! DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW YOU MAKE ME WEAK? It’s almost all too much! You…you have this CONTROL over my heart! I’ve known you since forever, but half the time I can’t even speak! The slightest words you say…they all go to my head! I keep thinking, ‘I can overcome this’, but I can’t! Tonight, made that all the more real! I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU! WITH YOU!” I sniffled, calming down. “I can’t stand seeing you with any other person. We’ve missed so much time, and I just wanted you to know.”

I turned, but Jay grabbed at my hand. “Hey…” He stepped forward, wiping the tears with his thumb and turning my face up. “We can make up for it.”

“I just walked in on you having sex!” I whispered. “It just pushed me over the edge! You never knew I loved you like this. I was always so close...I-I am just going crazy. I have been for the last five years.”

“Like I said, we can make up for it.”

I sprang up on my toes and hooked my arms around his neck, as he encircled his arms around my waist. Our hungry mouths united in a passionate, weak in the knees embrace. The heat from us both, and the alcohol we consumed, was all around us.  His hands quickly moved to clutch my hips, running up and down my back, before hoisting me up. I wrapped my leg around him, not caring that my dress was ruined.

He pushed me up against the bed for more support. I moaned, involuntarily, as his hands explored my thighs. I grasped at his hair, running my fingers through it. Jay tasted of vodka and–

“Cherry Chapstick?” I inquired, in between kisses.

He chuckled, moving his mouth down my neck, licking and sucking as he went. He nibbled at my jaw-line as he spoke. “Peppermint Schnapps?”

Our foreheads met, as we both breathed heavily.

“I love you.” I whispered, as if me saying it could ruin this whole fantasy.

“I love you, too.”

“Do you really?” I searched his eyes. “Don’t lie for my sake.”

“Jess, think. How many times have I called you when I needed someone to help me? How many times were you there when I didn’t want to deal with crazy chicks? I always picked you because I knew you would always be there for me.  I honestly wanted you jealous for such a long time–just so you could actually notice me, even like me.”

“How long has this been going on? Why?”

“You’re my best mate, Jess. It’s been for the last two years, seven months, and thirteen days.” He said each word distinctly, as I was quiet for a moment.

“You mean…when I broke up with Zach.”

“You deserved so much more. So, I thought, why not? Why couldn’t I just date my best mate?”

“And, all those girls? You don’t know how much that’s hurt me.”

“It’s the same way I felt whenever I saw you hook up with all those guys.”

“I never slept with them, though.”

Jay sighed. “No one’s perfect. I couldn’t help it.”

“That’s such bullshit. You could’ve easily kept it in your pants.”

“True, but then again, I wouldn’t be as good as I am now for you.”

“Huh?”

“Do you want to?” He asked, letting the question hang in the air. He pressed his lips against my forehead and I locked my eyes with his. I tilted my head up so that our lips could meet. He tasted so good!

I pulled away, though. “Will we really be together? After this?”

“I don't want to take back what I said. I actually assumed we already were…unless you don’t want to.”

“Are you kidding? I’ve been dreaming about this since forever.”

I smiled, as his lips moved softly against mine in an innocent way. I moved over him so that I was on top. His hands were light on my back as I deepened the kiss. He sat up a little bit and settled his hands on my waist as I straddled him.

He slowly began to unbutton the buttons on my dress until there were none left, pushing the fabric over my head. I shrugged it off and watched him toss it across the floor. I pressed my lips against his once more, opening my mouth to his as I ran my hand him, exploring the scope of his abdomen.

I wanted this. This is what love was. Making love to someone who knew you better than you knew yourself.

I know that something has changed, because I never felt this way. And right here tonight, it was the start of something new. And, it feels so right. I just felt in my heart that Jay and I had something. We made love for the first time, and it was magical.