(Reuploading with better art - credit goes to saragapen on tumblr, instagram and wattpad)

I stayed silent for a while, shocked and... almost turned on a little? This man, the guy I'm in love with, who I've also been waiting to get with since I was fourteen, was now in my bed asking me to have sex with him. Ugh, in the most adorable way too. Holy fucking shit.

"Oh..." I stated like an idiot, still very shocked. Every time I tried to get intimate with him while we were dating, he'd stop me. But now all of a sudden he wants to? This is new. Straight guys are so funny like that. "So the reason you came over here in the middle of the night was for a booty call?"

He cleared his throat, moving to stand up. "I'm sorry! Forget it! This is weird, I know. Trust me, this wasn't the only reason why I came over, I really did want to talk with you." Marshall paced the room. "Ugh I don't want it to seem like I'm just here to use you but... I wouldn't feel comfortable with anyone else... I'm sorry. You don't have to do this." I stood and grabbed his shoulders, ceasing his nervous pacing.

"Calm down before you have a panic attack too," I joked. Marshall Lee's head was hung low, his face in his hands. I rubbed his shoulders, trying to comfort him. "Lee, look at me." His head lifted and his arms dropped, but his long, wavy locks covering his eyes prevented him from making eye contact. I rolled my eyes, pushing his hair back myself. "Don't be embarrassed. You're not the only bicurious guy who's asked me for some help." Marshall's eyes lowered at that and I felt sort of guilty, but then I remembered he dumped me and didn't feel so bad anymore.

I hooked a finger under his chin, lifting his head to look at me. Did he shrink? Or did I get taller? Our eyes met and I stared into his for a second. "Even if you are just using me for your own experimentation, I'm glad it's you." If he ends up not liking this and goes back to girls for the rest of his life, at least I'll have this.

Marshall blinked his auburn eyes. "Barnaby, that's horrible. You shouldn't let anyone just use you."

I smiled, pulling him towards the bed and sitting him down. "Yeah, maybe." I knelt on the bed right over him, caressing his face. "But I don't care. All I care about it you." This is my chance to make everything right again, to get him to come back to me and hopefully stay.

Marshall looked up at me sadly. "You should care about yourself too... I'm not that important."

I ran my other hand through his hair, leaning my body closer to his. "That's where you're wrong, you're so important to me. And I do care about myself, I just care about you more." I remembered back to when he broke up with me, and how he said he had to love himself before he could love me. He couldn't be more wrong. Relationships are about building each other up, supporting and helping each other. You can't just place that burden on yourself and expect it to be easy without the help of someone else. He's going through a lot right now, we both are, and he needs someone to be there and help him. It should be me. And I need him to help me too.

Believe me, I'm going through my own thing too and it's hard. But his presence just being here immediately makes me feel better. He distracts me from my own mind and I feel so comfortable around him, I feel normal. I couldn't imagine trying to fight this myself. He needs to understand that.

"Why won't you let me help you anymore?" I asked sort of randomly. Marshall Lee dropped his head, leaning it against my chest. He must've understood what I meant; about helping him with his depression and loving himself. My hands flocked to his hair.

"I have to do this myself," he whispered with solemnity.

"You don't." I lifted his head, forcing him to look up at me. "I'm here for you. I always have and always will be. Trust me, I know from experience how hard it is to try and fight alone. But you help me so much, let me do the same for you." Marshall just looked at me with sad eyes, a sort of guilty expression on his face. "Think about it, okay?" His eyes fell and he nodded. "In the meantime," I started, moving my hands down to his shoulders, one going even farther down to his chest. "Why don't we get started on what you came here for." His eyes caught mine again and I could feel his heart pick up pace a little.

"Okay..." His cheeks flushed. He was nervous.

"We'll go slow. And if you ever feel uncomfortable just say so, okay? We don't have to do anything you don't want to. And if you want to stop at anytime, we can. I want you to feel safe and comfortable and have fun with me..." Marshall nodded. "I won't make you do anything crazy either, just the basics. No butt stuff." That made Marshall laugh a little. I smiled. I've been waiting for this for so long and I can't believe this is happening. Him coming over for this was the last thing I expected out of our breakup, but I guess I couldn't complain anymore.

"Can I kiss you?" I asked, feeling like a nerd for having to ask but consent is key and I want him to be as comfortable as possible. This situation is already weird enough as it is. Plus you never know, some people don't like to kiss when having casual sex. Not that this was exactly casual... but still. Marshall watched me for a moment and I swear I felt his heart skip. After a second or two he nodded and I couldn't help but feel a little giddy. I couldn't wait to feel his lips against mine again. I wondered what he was thinking right now.

Leaning my head down, he tilted his back. Our faces inched closer, our breaths mixing. I paused right over his lips, just to be dramatic and to savor this feeling of anticipation. I leaned in more and our lips finally met, soft and gently. A wave hit me, fifty different feelings and sensations hitting me all at once. Glob, I missed this, I missed him so much and now he's finally back in my arms. Even if it might just be temporary. Ease, content, nostalgia, lust, and most of all, love, was just a snippet of what I was feeling. Not to sound dramatic, but everything in the world always felt right when he was kissing me.

As we kissed slowly I felt his hands finally reach up and touch me, gently grabbing my side. I parted our lips and stared down at him, watching his eyes flutter open and stare back into mine. I wanted to know what he was thinking so badly. His eyes were wide and sort of sad looking, but they held something that I couldn't recognize. I wanted to think it was love. Before I overthought it, I pressed out lips together again, this time harder and more passionate. He kissed back with the same amount of passion, his hands gripping my shirt. Knowing one of his weaknesses, I tangled my fingers in his hair, giving the fistful a tug. A small grunt escaped his throat, the sound going straight to my groin.

After a bit of this, I took in our position and realized that this probably isn't the most comfortable. My knees were starting to hurt and I bet his neck was too. Our lips broke apart again and I grabbed his shoulder, giving him my best sexy look before pushing him back. He watched me with curious eyes, a crooked smile on his face as I pulled off my shirt, tossing it somewhere on the floor along with my glasses while we kept eye contact. (Things are allowed to touch the floor in my room, this is a safe place.)

I could tell he was still nervous, so I did something to make him more comfortable, to show him that this wasn't serious and that we were supposed to be having fun. Running my hands down my chest, I puckered my lips and wiggled my eyebrows at him. He laughed, rolling his eyes and I couldn't help but laugh too. His eyes scanned my naked upper-half as I crawled over him, hovering over his body while my knees and forearms supported me up.

"Hey, handsome, like whatcha see?" I asked, shooting him a wink. He laughed again, putting his hands on my chest. My skin tingled under his touch, partly because his hands were kind of cold.

"Always," he added in a flirtatious voice. He was getting more comfortable and confident which was good. I smiled.

"Good, cause it's all yours." With that, I leaned down to kiss his lips eagerly. Our lips were getting faster, the kiss more and more intense as time went on. A hand left my chest, moving up to the back of my neck instead. I tilted my head more, deepening our lip-lock. Feeling frisky I gave his lip a bite, making him gasp slightly out of surprise and possibly some pain. Taking this as an opportunity, I shoved my tongue in his mouth. As our tongues danced, his hand's grip on my neck tightened and the other stopped roaming my chest, instead moving my back and pulling my body closer to his. I couldn't help but smile through our kiss.

The first thing that made contact was our crotches, making both of us pause our tonguing to let out a groan in each other's mouths. The pressure being applied down there felt nice, and I'm sure Marshall could say the same thing. Honestly, I don't know why he needs his gayness to be proved to him, if he was straight he wouldn't even be letting me do this to him. Maybe it was just an excuse, who knows, but I'm not complaining. I knew I couldn't force him, he'd have to come to me first once he was comfortable and I guess this was the time.

Our chests were touching now, my body laying on top of his as his hand felt all over my back, the other now in my hair. In need of some air, I pulled away, about to give his neck some attention. Before I could though, two arms wrapping themselves around my torso prevented me, along with Marshall's face burying into my shoulder. He was hugging me.

"What's up?" I asked. Was something wrong?

Marshall shook his head a little, giving my shoulder a little smooch. "Nothing. I've just missed you. And I feel like an idiot for ever leaving you, I'm sorry." He said the last part in a whisper, I barely heard him.

"That's because you are an idiot," I joked, though I wasn't exactly wrong. He was an idiot for leaving me just to come right back not even a month later.

He scoffed, "Wow, thanks." He removed his arms as if he was serious about being offended by that, but I could tell he was just being a pouty baby.

I pulled myself up a little, finding that I was correct and he was just being pouty. "You know I'm kidding, I think you're very smart." Well... "You just make dumb decisions sometimes. But that's okay, I forgive you nonetheless. Only because I love you." I gave his cheek a sweet kiss, just before I realized what I had said.

Oh shit! Oh fuck! That wasn't supposed to come out!

My eyes widened, shocked at my own words. Oh my glob, I'm so fucked, that wasn't how I planned on confessing my love for him at all! I was gonna wait for the right time, when we were back together again, and it was supposed to be romantic! Not like this! Never like this! Marshall was frozen under me, the expression on his face somewhat horrified. Fuck fuck fuck! We watched each other for a moment, both frozen in shock.

"I'm- I'm sorry. I didn't-" I started in a pathetic whisper before stopping myself. What am I even apologizing for? I love him and I one-hundred percent mean it. "No. I'm not sorry. I love you, Marshall Lee."

His eyes were glossy, wide with fear and on the brink of tears, his brows were turned up as if concerned. He started shaking his head. "You can't do this to me, Barnaby. You can't. It's not fair."

"What's not fair? The fact that I love you?"

Marshall scrunched his face up, his eyes shut and his lips forced into a tight line. I could be kissing those lips if I hadn't ruined everything by running my big mouth. "Barnaby, please," he begged, desperation in his voice.

"Please what? Love you more? Too late I already do." Marshall pushed me off of him, moving to sit by my pillows. He sat with his legs close to body, his hands covering his eyes. Shit, I really did ruin everything.

"Stop, Barnaby, I can't take this right now!" He was breathing heavily now, and not because of our heated kissing this time. Well jeez, I didn't mean to stress him out.

"Alright, I'm sorry."

He sniffled. "You can't just throw that word around like that. I don't know what it means to you, but to me it means a lot..."

I sat back. "It means a lot to me too. And I'm not just saying it either. I promise you that I meant what I said." Marshall ran a hand through his hair, his eyes looking anywhere but at me.

"I-" he started, but stopped himself short.

"I know you aren't ready to be hear this, but to be fair I didn't exactly mean to say it either." Marshall shut his eyes, shaking his head a little. "But that doesn't mean I mean it any less!" I crawled over to him, shaking his knees. "Listen, you don't have to say it back. Just know I'm serious. What I feel for you is pure love."

His eyes finally met mine, "...How do you know you're sure?"

"I've never been more sure about anything in my life."

Marshall paused for a while. "...What if you're just lying to me?"

"Marshall Lee, have I ever lied to you?"

He averted his eyes. "I don't know, probably..." he mumbled.

"Marshall." I scolded, giving him a serious face. "I have never lied to you and I'm not lying now." He glanced at me for a moment, but then tore his gaze away again. Why is he refusing to believe me? Maybe he's afraid to be hurt again. Every person he's ever trusted with his heart has done something to break it. His father died, his mother neglected him, his ex-girlfriend was- still is- a crazy, double-crossing bitch. Even his best friend recently turned his back on him. I wouldn't blame him for not trusting me with something so important.

I grabbed his hands in mine, sitting up on my knees again to look more serious. "I know you don't have the best past with love and you've been hurt so many times, but if you give me the chance, I promise you I will change that." He watched me with glistening eyes. "I have been by your side since day one and I don't ever plan on leaving. So, even if you don't want anything to do with me after this, sucks to suck because I'm always going to be here." I gave his hands a squeeze for emphasis.

Marshall stared at me with an unreadable expression, his lips curved up ever so slightly in a sad smile. "I don't deserve you," he sniffled, his eyes threatening to spill tears. "And you deserve someone way better than me." He tried to retract his hands but I just held them tighter.

"Doesn't get better than the best," I countered. Marshall let out a quiet breath of laughter, looking down and shaking his head. The action made the crystal pools in his sad eyes finally break, streaming down his cheeks. When his eyes met mine again I felt my heart ache. How could one person look so unbelievably beautiful while crying? "Even if you do somehow, miraculously, find someone you think is better for me... I wouldn't want them anyway. You're all I could ever want." I pulled his hands up to my face, kissing his knuckles while keeping eyes with him.

Marshall Lee's eyes were still glossy but he had a smile on his face. "I really hope you're not just messing with me," he whispered in a broken voice. He still didn't believe me, or maybe he did but he just didn't want to accept it.

"I would never," I spoke against his hands. I need to show him how much he means to me, how important he is in my life. I had an idea... why don't we just continue what we started. "Can I try and prove to you that I'm serious?" I caressed his hands with my thumbs, gently scratching down his forearms and back up.

"How?"

I grabbed his knees, spreading them so I had more room to lean in and placed a hand on his chest, moving closer down to him. "Allow me to do this for you. Just follow my lead." With that I kissed him, not giving him time to reject me. Thankfully he was into it and kissed me back, slow but full of emotion. I'm glad we're still going to continue this, I was nervous he was going to keep pushing me away after I confessed. Even though he didn't return those three words, I wasn't going to get too bent out of shape because of it. I threw that at him way too fast and he's going through a tough time right now on top of that. I just have to be patient and stay hopeful. I know for a fact that he still has strong feelings for me, it's only a matter of time until they come out.

The longer we kissed, the more heated it became which was what I was hoping for. Our lips moved like we'd never even broken up in the first place. They moved in sync, in perfect rhythm, the beginning of a dance only meant for us two. Our tongues met occasionally, making everything more passionate. Our hands felt up and down each other's bodies with longing, in need to be touched like this again. After what felt like a long time of just making out and touching, I was getting eager for more and I hoped he was too.

I broke our lip-lock, leaning back to look at him. His eyes opened, half-lidded, and heavy breaths were passing in and out through his now irritated lips. A blush replaced where his tears had been and his flowy hair was messed up from me grabbing it. With all of that combined, he looked absolutely irresistible, I definitely needed more now. As if he couldn't look sexier, the corner his red lips turned up into a half-smile before he pressed them together, his teeth biting his bottom lip briefly. Good glob.

Not a beat later, I dove towards his neck, kissing and nipping at the skin under his sharp jaw. The skin close to his jaw barely felt scratchy against my face, his facial hair starting to regrow and honestly I loved it. Just the mental image of him with stubble already had me nutting. Marshall squirmed under me a little, adjusting his body as his arms wrapped around me, one in my hair and the other on the small of my back. I missed his touch. Stepping it up a notch, I pressed my hips down, our clothed-crotches making contact once again. Marshall let out a grunt at the pressure and I exhaled into his neck, enjoying the feeling as well.

From what I could feel already, Marshall's bulge was bigger than before, his semi-hard-on feeling fantastic against my own. I waited to move my hips, liking the anticipating sensation in my stomach. Before I did, I gave his neck a little more attention and snuck my fingers under his hoodie, feeling up the soft skin underneath. Marshall's head was turned to the side, giving me more room to worth with. I already knew where his sweet spot was so I focused in on that, nipping and sucking where I knew he'd like it. His heavy breathing mixed with the occasional low sigh was music to my ears, motivating me to go further and hear more of him. Marshall was getting antsy for more as well, jerking ever so slightly, wanting to move but trying not to.

Giving in to what we both wanted, I slowly rocked my pelvis up while applying more pressure, biting my lip at the tingly feeling. And the way Marshall gripped me tighter, inhaling sharply. My hand went further up his hoodie as my hips went down. I repeated this a few more times at the same, slow speed, trying hard not speed up. Marshall hadn't made a sound yet, I was starting to wonder if this didn't feel as good to him as it did to me.

"Is this okay?" I asked quietly, surprising myself at how gruff my voice sounded all of a sudden. Marshall Lee's hips slightly jerked again.

"Yes," he replied breathily into my ear. I needed to hear him. I started grinding my hips a little faster against his, causing both of our breathing to intensify. Through my need to breathe, I kissed his neck a few more times, my tongue tracing over his sweet spot. Marshall adjusted himself against me, starting to finally move his own hips as well. Getting an idea, I smirked in his neck. After a cute smooch and lick, I bit down hard while simultaneously thrusting my crotch down against his with force. "Hng-ah~" he moaned out finally, sending a wave tingles down to my groin. I sweetly kissed over where I had bitten as if nothing happened.

We grinded more, the intensity increasing with each movement. The friction and pressure combined with Marshall's thighs tightening around my waist was almost too much to handle. Almost. Marshall's skin underneath his hoodie was warm, a sheen layer of sweat starting to cover his torso. "Hot..." he complained in a breath, removing his hand on my back to tug at the collar of the dark garment. He wanted it off.

Excitedly I pushed his knees down, sitting up and moving my own to the sides of his waist, straddling him. Sitting on his lap, I couldn't help but lick my lips at the feeling of his length under me. I watched in anticipation as he sat up as well, pulling his arms in the hoodie to make it easier to take off from the inside. I helped him get it over his head, taking the piece from his hands and throwing it off the bed. Marshall's eyes followed it but fell back on me once he felt my hands on his chest. My eyes searched his entire upper half as my hands felt over his skin, taking in everything in front of me. From the his faint muscles to the patch of dark hair crawling up to his belly button, he was lookin hot.

This was like a perverted childhood dream come true. I've been waiting and dreaming about this moment for years and it's finally happening. Though I never really expected to be the 'dominant' one here. Marshall always fronted a macho persona back in high school, plus I was younger then too; my sexual fantasies usually consisted of him taking control over me. However where we were currently seemed to be the opposite. I wanted to say this situation seemed flipped but, it felt natural like this. And I liked being the more experienced, wiser one. I liked knowing I was showing him something he had never experienced before.

Marshall's hands gently caressed my sides, his eyes staring into mine with a look I couldn't quite place. His cheeks were still pink and his chest heaved slightly under my hands. I slid one hand behind his neck, pulling him closer than he already was. Our foreheads and noses touched. "You're beautiful," I whispered, moving my hand to the side of his neck, my thumb caressing his cheek. I felt him smile. Instead of responding, he tilted his head and went in for a kiss. Our lips connected, soft and sweet. My hand that was still on his chest moved to his shoulder. I sat forward more, applying more pressure to his groin and touching my bare chest to his.

He sighed against my lips and I kissed him harder, starting to grind against him again. I grunted slightly, liking the feeling. Keeping our lips attached, I gently pushed his shoulder down, laying against him as he slowly fell back on the pillows. My fingers crept lower and lower on his body, teasing his skin with gentle scratches and pinches until I reached fabric. "Do you want these off too?" I asked seductively after breaking our kiss, tugging on his belt loops. Why he was still wearing jeans this late at night was beyond me. But I could only imagine how uncomfortable they must feel right now.

Marshall grabbed my wrists, looking down at me with half-lidded eyes. "Yeah..." he bit his lip again, making me feel some sort of way. I didn't hesitate unbuttoning his jeans, but taking my time while doing so; slowly and gently pulling down his zipper just to tease him. I heard him groan and I laughed a little before apologizing, tugging the dark denim down from the sides. Marshall sighed at the instant relief and I tried not to stare at the prominent outline of what was just underneath his boxer-briefs. Dirty thoughts flashed my mind as I pulled his jeans off all the way, tossing them along with his socks.

That made an irrelevant, panicked thought arise. "Where'd you put your shoes?" I blurted out rushed, ruining the hot moment. Oh dear, what if he took them off in here? And got dirt and outside germs all in my room!? I looked around my room nervously, fear rushing through my veins.

"Still on the roof. I figured you wouldn't want them in your room." Instantly my eyes snapped to him. Ugh, he knows me so well. I wanted to sigh in relief but the sight of him laying there like a work of art caught my breath. He was naturally posed like some sex model, one hand tangled in his hair while the other was draped over his stomach, his legs spread around me and one propped up. Ugh and let's not forget his hard fucking dick right in front of me holy shit.

"Fuck, I'm so in love with you." Not a beat later I practically leaped on top of him, smashing our lips together while pressing our bodies close. We made out passionately, lips and tongues moving in sync, teeth biting when the time was right. Marshall's slim fingers snuck under the waistband of my pajama pants, pulling them down. I broke our kiss, looking down in between our bodies to watch myself kick off my pants so that I didn't get jumbled and waste time. We reconnected our kiss, touching each other like it was life or death. Marshall hooked a leg around my waist, pulling my hips down to meet his.

We both moaned at the feeling of our nether-regions coming together, the thought of them only being separated by thin cloth driving me wild. Marshall felt all over my lower back, even going lower to grab my butt, giving it a squeeze. He started snickering through our kiss.

"What's so funny, babe?" I cocked an eyebrow, smooching his cheek a few times.

"Tighty-whities," he giggled. Unexpectedly, he gave my behind a smack, squeezing it after. I grunted, closing my eyes and pressing my lips together briefly in an attempt to calm myself.

"Listen, in my defense I wasn't exactly planning on getting laid tonight. If I had known, I would've dressed a little sexier for you." Marshall smiled, trailing a finger up and down the middle of my back ticklishly and sending shivered up my spine. Every little touch he gave made me wish he was touching something else.

"You make anything look sexy," grinned flirtatiously.

"Even an old pair of 'tighty-whities'?" I raised an eyebrow, smiling down at him.

"Oh especially those," he laughed. I kissed his cheek and then his lips, rubbing our barely clothed crotches together. We hummed and grunted, letting out the occasional moan or two. There was a pit in my stomach, growing, wishing to be released. I wanted, needed, more. But I've been waiting so long for this, I wanted to take it slow. For both of our sakes. "Barnaby," Marshall spoke in an erotic sigh. Fuck, I loved hearing my name come out of his mouth.

"Yes, my love." Marshall tightened his legs around my waist, jerking up slightly. He let out a few heavy breaths and I worked on his neck, sucking and nipping in a lower spot after seeing that I had already left a mark earlier. He tilted his face closer, his lips against my ear.

"Touch me," he said in a slow, husky whisper.

I paused for a second, a wave of pure lust flowing through me, going straight to my dick. Holy fuck. Not wasting any more time, I leaned back and shot him a sly smile. "As you wish." That was corny, but I couldn't think of anything better in the heat of the moment. My eyes fell down to what I've been anticipating feeling this whole time. My hand made its way down to the hem of his underwear, teasing the skin there. I bit my lip and Marshall grabbed my wrist again, not to stop nor guide me but just to hold something. My fingers trailed lower over his tight underwear, avoiding the main object in need of touching. Marshall twitched, his grip on my wrist tightening momentarily. I smiled as he grumbled.

I let a single finger trace over the outline of his dick quickly, making Marshall jerk his hips and gasp, furrowing his eyebrows. His nails dug into my wrist. I smiled again and repeated the action, but a lot slower this time. He squirmed, letting out a long grunt, sounding sort of irritated. "Sorry, is this better?" I grabbed his clothed dick, squeezing gently and rubbing it with my palm.

"Mmm~ shit," he moaned out in his heavenly voice, clawing my wrist and shoulder as he tilted his head back. I palmed him more, going at different speeds and with different pressures, occasionally giving a nice long squeeze to his jewels. Marshall was covered in a sheen layer of sweat, parts of his body glistening in the little bit of warm light we had. His moans were beautiful, each one more musical than the next and satisfying me just by hearing him be satisfied. When he was worked up enough I stopped, making him let out a sort of whine. I needed the full thing now.

My fingers slipped under his waistband, starting to pull down the fabric that was preventing me from touching something I've only seen in my dreams. I pulled them down slowly, unwrapping a present I've been anticipating getting for years now. Just when his hard member was about to be exposed, Marshall quickly tilted my chin up, forcing my eyes to look up at him instead of down there. Are you kidding me! I wanted to let out a huff but I kept it in, sympathizing that this was the first time he was showing me something private and that he was probably a bit nervous, or even embarrassed.

"Relax, babe." I tried to calm him down. "Want me to take mine off first?" Maybe that'd make him feel better, not being the only one completely naked. Marshall's cheeks turned pinker and he nodded, keeping his eyes on me. I smiled and gave the corner of his mouth a sweet kiss before sitting up, watching him as I began to pull my own underwear down. My erect dick sprang to life and I pulled them the rest of the way off, holding the garment up with my finger before letting them drop to the floor. Marshall's eyes watched them fall before they met with mine again, the blush in his face getting redder. "You can look, you know," I whispered with a smirk.

Marshall Lee blinked a few times before slowly lowering his gaze. Once his eyes went far enough, they went wide and shot back up, his face on fire. I snickered, cupping my junk before leaning back over him, holding it in place to make sure it didn't touch him. I grabbed his hem with my free hand and he placed his hands on the sides of my neck, looking at me nervously. "Why're you getting so worked up? I'm not going to be disappointed at what I see if that's what you're thinking." I massaged his hips, feeling up his outer thighs. "I love every single part of you and I will continue to, even if you have a tiny dick."

"Hey!" He smacked my shoulder and I laughed.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I was just feeling you a second ago, babe, I know you're massive." I shot him a wink and he rolled his eyes, blushing regardless. "Can I take these off now?" Marshall glanced down, biting his lip and nodding. I did as promised and pulled them down, wanting so badly to look but he had my face locked on his. He inhaled sharply at the feeling of chill air coming in contact with his hot groin, his eyes glued on mine. Once his underwear were slipped completely off, Marshall's face flushed but his eyes remained on me.

His lips moved, wanting to say something. "I-..." he shut his mouth the second he opened it. I caressed his waist and thighs, comforting him the best I could. He stared at me with such deep emotion, his expression unreadable. He looked sad, or concerned, or anxious. Or all three and more, I couldn't tell, I just thought he looked pretty. His auburn eyes flicked back and forth between my blue ones, looking glossy again. Oh dear.

"What's wrong?" I asked, worried he was going to start crying again.

Instead he smiled. "Nothing, I just-... nothing." He shook his head, his thumbs caressing my cheeks. He removed a hand from my neck to trace over my face; slowly sliding over my cheekbone and down my jawline, going up to smooth his thumb over my lips. I turned my head into his touch, kissing his palm.

"Please tell me what's wrong. Is this too much? Do we need to stop?" I prayed that wasn't the case, but if he's uncomfortable I don't want to push him.

"No no no!" He shook his head and I held back a sigh of relief. "Nothing is 'wrong'. Trust me, everything is beyond perfect." He flashed a genuine smile. "I'm just... overwhelmed I guess. But in like, a really good way, you know?"

I stared down into his gorgeous eyes, a feeling of pure love and admiration filling my heart. Every time I reminded myself of what we were doing and the fact that he was here with me now, I felt beyond ecstatic; as if the heavens had answered all my prayers, or something equally as cheesy. I nodded, "I know exactly what you mean." His smile widened and so did my own. Glob, I could stare at him all day.

Marshall scanned over my face, his fingers still caressing my features. His soft expression was one that I had seen only a couple of times before. The one where he looked at me like I was his most prized-possession. Like we were the last people on earth and nothing else around us mattered... Like he loved me.

His eyes fell back on mine and we watched each other for a while, lost in the moment. Soon Marshall Lee leaned up, eyes softly closing before his lips met mine in a gentle kiss. It was very sweet, contrasting against our previous and future activities. It only lasted a few seconds, but held years of passion and emotion. If this were a romantic novel, this would be the part when sparks flew and the butterflies in our stomach swarmed and our hearts leaped out of our chests. It was a sickeningly cliche moment and I loved every second of it.

"I love you," I spoke against his lips after we separated. It felt so great being able to tell him that. "Even if you still don't believe me."

He ran a hand through my hair and I didn't mind that he was messing it up. "I do believe you. At least I'm trying my best to." I gave his cheek a few small kisses.

"Why won't you believe me?"

" ...Too good to be true..." he whispered, still massaging my hair. He pulled on a few strands between his fingers.

"I swear on my dead mother's grave that it's not." Marshall paused the hand in my hair and gave me a disapproving look. "What? I'm telling you I'm serious. This is reality, babe."

Marshall rolled his eyes. "Doesn't mean you have to bring your poor dead mother into it."

"What, you mean to tell me talking about dead parents doesn't turn you on?" I joked. He exhaled a laugh through his nose, not wanting to but also not being able to hide it. Good thing he has a good sense of humor. "But if you think this is too good now, just wait till I make it better," I said seductively, shooting him a wink. I backed my knees up a little, letting go of my dick so that it could be free without touching him. Instinctually I groaned a little from the lack of contact, but I needed a free hand for what I was going to do and my other arm was supporting me up.

"And how are you gonna do tha- OHH~ holy fffuck~" Honestly I should make his moans my ring tone... Marshall's hips bucked at my touch, his nails digging into my skin. I bit my lip as my hand worked his dick and I watched his reaction, that alone about to push me off the edge. His eyebrows were scrunched up, eyes clenched shut but mouth open, heavy breaths and moans escaping his body.

Every time my hand pumped his length, I thirsted for more of him. This definitely was a dream come true; he felt even better in my grip than I imagined. My eyes finally looked down, landing on his dick and instantly feeling blessed, that tingly sensation flowing through my body again. I felt sort of honored to be in this position right now. He chose me out of every other guy in the world to show him this, he felt comfortable enough with me to share something so private and intimate with him. I would be the first male he's ever been with and I loved knowing that. I would be the only one to ever make him feel like this.

I stroked him up and down with a firm grip, glancing between his changing expressions back down to his leaking, perfectly groomed dick and back up. Was it weird to say he had a really attractive penis? Most dicks I've seen were typically gross in some way, but his was gorgeous just like the rest of him. Then again maybe I was just biased. My hand worked him at different speeds and grips, going fast for a while before calming him down with a slower speed and repeating the cycle. When I went slow I tried making it romantic, peppering his face and neck with sweet kisses and using my thumb to give his head some special attention. I enjoyed the hell out of his whiny moans when I stimulated him. And his deep groans when I pumped him too slow for his liking.

That pit in my stomach seemed to grow larger, my need to be satisfied getting harder to ignore. I couldn't expect him to be bold and make a move on me so I did something that could help us both out. Letting go of his length I grabbed my own and gave it a few good strokes, readying myself. Marshall whined, dissatisfied with not being touched anymore.

"Patience, darling," I breathed out and adjusted my position over him.

"Ugh, I need you," he said erotically, lifting his body up to be against mine. He wrapped his arms tight around my neck and kissed my face repeatedly. Fuck me, holy shit. Finally doing what I was planning on I gripped his dick against my own, pumping the both of us together. We grunted and moaned out in ecstasy, sharing the experience. I loved the feeling of him against me. To my surprise, I was actually just a tad bigger than he was, which gave a little sense of pride.

Fuck, the sensation of him against me and the tight grip of my hand, combined with the sound of his moans and his aroused expressions were sexually overwhelming. Even though we were doing such a simple act, it felt so much better knowing who I was doing it with. I've done way more experienced things with other guys, but it's never felt as good as this. Nothing could compare to the level of ecstasy I felt being this close to Marshall Lee. I wanted more than anything to be closer, but I had to respect that this is his first time with another guy. I don't want to scare him off by going too fast, this is perfect the way it is.

After some time Marshall grabbed my wrist gently, moving up to my hand and making me stop. I looked at him for an explanation. This was so good, why'd he stop us?

"Can I...?" he started, not planning on finishing his question. I knew what he was asking though, so I let go of us and planted my arm right next to him, practically in plank position over top of him though my knees were still on the bed. As much as I loved being the one in charge here, I couldn't wait to feel him take over. Actually I was sort of grateful to not be touching us anymore; my hand was tired and glob knows I hate the feeling of wet things. I wiped my hand on the sheet.

"Go for it." I kissed the corner of his mouth over to his jaw, anticipation his touch. I think it took him a minute to work up enough courage, because for a while all he did was feel up my chest and abdomen before his hand finally went low enough. Not to mention I noticed his his heart-rate spike when my tongue was over his pulse. He was nervous again.

Once he did make contact, a wave of pleasure flowed through my body making me shiver at the feeling. His hand was so warm and fingers slightly calloused from years of instrument playing, giving a little texture to his grip. I had to bite his shoulder to contain myself, my fingers curling into his hair roughly so that I could clench onto something. I don't know if it was the fact that I haven't gotten any action in a while or if it was my love for Marshall Lee's fault, but holy shit I feel like I could bust already.

"Fuck," I sighed, clenching my eyes shut for a moment. When I opened them again, I leaned my head back so that I could get a good look of my favorite face while his hand pleasured us both. When I saw his pained yet aroused expression, that's when I realized that what I had just done might've hurt him. I quickly released my tight fist in his dark hair, kissing his nose that was scrunched ever so cutely. "Sorry."

Marshall opened his eyes, half-lidded and filled with lust. "It's fine," he breathed. "I- ahh~ I liked it." I hummed, another flush of satisfaction going through me just from that statement. Looking down at him with his swollen lips, neck littered with bruises and now two prominent bite marks just a little lower, I don't think I've ever been more in love than I was right now... Globdamnit who gave him the right to look so fucking hot.

Our eyes stayed locked together and he continued to pump us, only closing briefly when the pleasure became too much. I loved looking at him, especially like this, knowing I was experiencing the same feeling with him. There were many sides to Marshall Lee, most of which he doesn't show to most anyone, and I couldn't help but feel lucky to have unlocked another one. I was part of the select few who got to see him so sensual and lust-hungry. To me, being with him felt so different from the others and I wondered if he felt the same.

Marshall's pace started to quicken, his hand stroking us up and down rapidly thanks to our pre-climax making his grip slick. And due to the fact that I could tell he desperately wanted to finish. His heavy breathing and new pained face made it sort of apparent. I moaned at the sensation, letting my hips thrust gently. Letting my eyes close, I imagined that I was fucking something of his other than his hand, something tighter and hotter. My body shivered in pleasure at the thought.

"Are you close?" I asked out of breath, scratching his sides. I felt like I could explode at any moment so I bet he felt the same. Fuck I didn't want this to end. Marshall's other hand left the back of my neck to touch my face, pushing my sweaty hair back.

"Almost," he groaned in response, still working us hard. I had an idea, something to turn this up a notch. The grand finale if you will.

"Wait wait." I stopped his hand. I couldn't let him finish without doing this first.

He raised a dark eyebrow. "Wha-?" I grabbed his wrist, pulling it away and pinning it next to his head. His eyes showed a little concern so I kissed him calmly.

"Trust me, you'll like this." With that I went for his neck again, peppering his neck with little kisses before going lower and lower. Nipping his collarbone, kissing down his chest and giving him a few good hickies here and there. I gave his nipples some attention before continuing my way down, scratching his sides and licking down his abdomen. Marshall's breath hitched when my tongue reached below his naval, but instead of going towards his goods I went around, stopping parallel to his protruding hip bone.

"Are you- oh glob..."

"Is this okay?"

Marshall paused and looked down at me. Then he bit his lip and his head fell back against the pillows. "Yeah..."

"You sure? So... it's okay that I do this then?" With that I proceeded to drag my tongue along the length of his dick, making him grip the sheets beside him.

"Mmph~ yes." His voice was low and guttural.

"What about this?" I repeated the action but wrapped my hand around his shaft, my tongue swirling around his tip slowly. Marshall let out what sounded like a long, frustrated grunt.

"Fuck- yes!" There was a bite to his tone, getting sexually frustrated from my teasing. Dare I say I was even more turned on by it? A flush of arousal went straight to my groin at the thought of him being more forceful. I smiled cockily (ha, ironic) and decided to give him a break and quit with the teasing. Well, after a few more gentle licks and kisses. Finally, I wet my lips and took him into my mouth, just working on the head. "Jesus fuck-" Marshall sighed, his fingers tangled in the sheets and his hair. My head bobbed slightly, reaching down a little further every time.

Marshall continued to grunt and moan and I loved each and every sound. His voice was so beautiful and hearing it like this was like a special little treat. A private concert, a performance for only me. Eventually, Marshall let go of his own hair and replaced his grip in mine, pulling on my dyed stands as my mouth did its thing. My hand worked the part I couldn't reach yet; a sort of combo to give him the illusion that I was going deeper. (It's not that I couldn't, I just needed to warm up first.) This went on for a while, me giving him head while he moaned and cussed, twitching and squirming slightly.

My jaw was getting tired so I released him with a 'pop', just using my hand to stroke and twist him while I took a little break. Marshall whined as I grabbed his hand from my hair, squeezing and rubbing it with my thumb. He was close and needed to finish so me stopping was probably a bit frustrating. "I know, I'm sorry." He squeezed my hand, looking down at me from under his long lashes. Deep breaths and quiet moans escaped his bruised lips, most likely from biting them. His expression in the soft, warm glow to our right sent another wave of pleasure through my body. Honestly words couldn't express enough how happy I was to be here with him right now. Fuck, I needed him so badly.

I went in again, licking away the little bead of pre-cum that had built up at his tip before putting him in my mouth. He squeezed my hand again, his hips fidgeting from wanting to thrust forward. I rubbed his waist, massaging his smooth, slick skin. Normally somebody's sweaty body would be disgusting to touch, but the events that caused him to overheat made it excusable this time. His hand left mine and once again made its way to my hair, gripping tightly while pushing my head down by accident. My body almost gagged at the feeling of him unexpectedly go too far back but I kept it in, blinking away the tears that instinctually followed.

I took a second to recompose myself before moving again, bobbing up and down while sucking in. His length throbbed against my lips, twitching every once in a while. His moans were getting more desperate, his grip in my hair and in the sheets tighter and tighter. I groaned when he pulled my hair, making Marshall let out a big moan.

"Ahh~ shit." His eyes were squeezed shut as his other hand moved to hold his hair back from his glowing face. "Fuck, I'm close," he sighed, his breathing wild. That flush of ecstasy went through me again and I began to grow jealous of his approaching climax. The sooner he releases, the sooner I can too. With him still in my mouth, I pulled his leg up over my shoulder and took a deep inhale through nose. Slowly and carefully, taking my time since I was out of practice, I went further and further down on him until my lips reached the base of his dick. Marshall, enjoying this a little too much, thrusted up further into my throat while pushing my head down. Instantly I gagged, pulling away from him to cough.

"Oh glob, I'm sorry!" he panicked through panted breaths. I wanted to laugh but I was too busy trying to catch my breath again.

"It's okay," I said in a hoarse voice, wiping tears away with my wrist.

"Really, I didn't mean to do that." He was propped up on his elbows, looking down at me with concern. "Are you okay?"

This time I laughed. "Oh trust me I'm fine. Just a little rusty... Anyway," with that I went for his dick again, getting back to business.

"Oh! Shit okay!" He fell back.

I continued what I was doing before, using my hand to satisfy the bottom half of his erection while my mouth worked the top. This whole time the coil in my stomach kept winding tighter and tighter and it was starting to become unbearable not receiving any action down there. Luckily I had two hands. With my free hand I reached down and grabbed my own length, pumping it in the same rhythm I worked Marshall. I groaned with him in my mouth and felt Marshall's legs start to tremble as he moaned out. Squeezing his thigh right next to me in an attempt to keep him still, I was able to deepthroat him a few more times, and with success.

"Ugh~ I-I'm gonna-" He warned, glancing down at me through half-lidded eyes. He was supporting himself up on one elbow, his other hand tangled in his dark locks.

I nodded up, slowly releasing him. "Cum for me," I spoke sensually, my lips against his tip. I made sure to look at him with lustful eyes, kissing and softly licking the underside of him teasingly.

"In your-? Christ." Marshall's head fell back and he collapsed on my bed, his upper body still at an angle due to my surplus of pillows supporting him. I let go of my own erection to focus on his, keeping my one arm wrapped around his leg while the other hand pumped his dick. My hand stroked rapidly, my tongue against the underside of his head, anticipating the taste of his climax. After a few more erotic groans and some very hot eye contact, Marshall finally released. His body tensed up, eyes clenching shut as he bit down on his knuckle to prevent being too loud.

"AhhgGHH~ my god-! Barnaby, fuck~" he moaned in between exasperated breaths.

His hot climax shot into my mouth and I made sure to get every last drop, keeping it all in until he could watch. I couldn't say he tasted good but it was definitely way better than some. I continued to stoke him a little as he rode out his orgasm. He was still breathing heavily and his legs were still shaking slightly but his eyes were shut more calmly now. Soon he let his eyes open a little, glancing down at me. I smirked and stuck out my tongue to proudly display what was there. His eyes widened as I visibly swallowed, blushing wildly when I opened my mouth again to show him it was gone. "Jesus fuck..." he whispered and I lifted his leg off my shoulder.

Sitting up, I wiped my mouth with the back of my wrist as Marshall stared at the ceiling with his shocked expression. I laughed, amused as he laid there looking like I just rocked his entire world. "You okay?" I asked, humor in my tone.

Marshall Lee blinked, eyes flicking to me. "I can't feel my legs." I laughed maybe a little too loudly at that, moving to sit more comfortably on the bed beside him. The urge to be touched was unbearable so I satisfied the need myself, stroking my length as I talked to him.

"Guess I wasn't so rusty after all, huh?"

"I've never had head that good. Holy hell." Marshall still looked like his mind was blown. He noticed what I was doing and blushed again. "I'd return the favor... but I have no idea how and I know for a fact it won't be anywhere near as good." He smiled awkwardly, his cheeks still a rosy pink. He's so cute. Oh what I wouldn't give to have him 'return the favor' but that would have to wait for another time. I don't want to force him into doing something he'd be uncomfortable doing. "However," he said in a sort of sly voice, sitting up and leaning in towards my ear, "I am good with my hands."

To much of my surprise, Marshall Lee licked up my ear, pushing my hand out of the way to take over. I don't know where the hell this sudden confidence came from but I wasn't complaining one bit. I accepted his touch, letting my eyes close as a sigh left my lips, the feeling of receiving too good. Marshall Lee moved down to my neck, leaving wet kisses wherever he could while he pumped me. His pace quickened after a while, making me groan and grip his bicep, my breath growing heavier and heavier with every stroke.

The coil in my stomach wound tighter, burning, aching to be released. Fuck I needed to finish, and I needed him closer. My other arm wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him in more. He adjusted accordingly all while keeping his quick pace. Jolts of ecstasy flowed through me as he twisted his wrist, squeezing tightly every once in a while. I buried my face into his shoulder for support and Marshall left little kisses on my own. He wasn't lying when he said he was good with his hands. Glob, I really wished he was being good with his mouth right about now but wet kisses and small nips would have to be enough. I mean, he had to have a talented tongue right? Having enough experience with a quite a few girls. Patience, I reminded myself.

I was close, and needed released immediately; patience was not a word I wanted to think about right now. "Ugh~ Marshall, I need to-"

"I know, I'm trying." His voice was deep, he sounded tired. My eyes opened and I lifted my head to look at him, his face turning to meet mine. His eyes were half-lidded, out of exhaustion this time, and his lips were parted, allowing our breaths to mix. My eyes scanned his face, admiring every single little detail about him, so in love and in lust. His tangled hair, his tired eyes, his still irritated lips. He's so beautiful no matter what he does and I don't understand it. It's one-hundred percent unfair.

Marshall continued to work me, our eyes locked together, not daring to look away. I held onto him tighter out of desperation, not wanting him to be even an inch further away. Fuck I'm so close. All I need is a little push. Low moans escaped my throat uncontrollably at this point, the intense rush of pleasure overwhelming. Marshall's lips slowly curled up in a smile, the emotion in his eyes different now. They were soft and gentle, and dare I say even sad. But that's how they always looked nowadays. What was this expression? And why was he giving it to me now?

His hand slowed down quite a bit and I wanted to grumble about it, but Marshall's soft lips on mine prevented that. He kissed my lips, despite knowing I had just swallowed his children not even ten minutes before this, and I melted at the tenderness. It was short lived since I was in desperate need of air every second, but the sweet passion was immense. This specific kiss felt familiar and very comforting, my heart gushed once I was reminded myself that it was Marshall Lee who had just kissed me like that. The same guy who had stolen my heart and shattered it. His kiss made me feel like my heart was being repaired.

That stupid smile of his was even wider now. Glob damnit why isn't he going faster, I just need a little more so this pit in my gut can go away. I not-so-subtly tried to move his hand more. "Barnaby," he whispered, the emotion in his eyes intense.

I let a few heavy breaths pass before I responded. "Huh."

His smile grew a little right before faltering, as if he was happy but didn't exactly know what to feel. Marshall's hand slowly came to a stop as he glanced between both my eyes. Oh my globbb why is he stopping. He inhaled a little, pausing before continuing what he was saying.

"...I think I love you too."

Instantly my body froze and I gaped at him with wide eyes, shocked. Before I could respond or even process what he said, an enormous wave of ecstasy took over my body, my climax catching both of us off guard. "Ahhh~! Fuck~!" My whole body tensed up as my load shot out onto him, instantly feeling the tightness in me fade away. I breathed out heavily, sighs and moans still finding their way out while tingling surges of my climax flowed through me. Marshall kissed my temple sweetly, pushing my sweaty hair back. Our eyes caught and it finally hit me. He said he loved me.

Instantly, a smile grew on my face and exhaustion hit me like a bus. He fucking loves me. I could feel my heart flourish, an immense sense of happiness and relief coming over me. I laughed a little to myself, the kind of one you do when something amazing and unbelievable happens, and hugged him around the shoulders, resting my chin on it. Marshall hugged me as well, squeezing my torso with one arm while leaning his head against mine. My emotions were through the roof, all over the place. Pleasure was still coursing through me and his words circling in my head only made it more intense. I felt like I could cry right about now I was so beyond overjoyed. I don't think this situation could've turned out any better.

We backed away a little bit and our eyes caught, making both of us smile more. He watched me with such a soft expression, tired auburn eyes filled with love. I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. I know I say this about every kiss, but wow was this one overwhelming. Now that I wasn't in dire need of air, I kissed him with all the energy I had left in me, pouring every ounce of my being into our embrace. His lips were locked with mine as if his life depended on it, his arm wrapped around me so tight in fear of letting me go. Glob I missed this feeling. Eventually we had to break for air and we watched each other for a moment, taking in each other's appearance.

"So uh, you think I was able to prove your sexuality to you yet?" I asked, grinning.

Marshall laughed. "Yeah. I'm pretty sure you did."

"So does this mean..."

He paused. "...I'm gay." He watched me for a moment, taking a second accept what he had just said. This must've been the first time he had ever said it out loud. He started laughing again, "I'm gay! Oh my glob, I'm so gay." His bubbly laughs filled the room as he pulled me closer to him again. "I'm gay and I love you." I hugged him back, feeling extremely happy and lucky.

"I'm gay and I love you too," I said with a laugh.

Eventually we broke away and I instantly felt something that irked me greatly. My stomach was cold and wet, I grimaced. "Ew." The result of my orgasm was still on Marshall's torso and had gotten on me when we embraced. He stuck his tongue out, looking down at himself. "Let's clean up and then we need to sleep." I kissed his cheek gently before getting up to do just that.

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Not that long later we were laying in bed, Marshall cuddled against my chest in the clean sheets. The need to shower was overbearing but the force keeping me attached to Marshall was even stronger. There was something oddly comforting about basking in our sweaty glory, natural, primitive even. Good thing replacing my bedsheets almost every other night was common for me; Pepper wouldn't think anything is out of the ordinary when I bring the dirty ones down tomorrow. Little does she know.

I was too tired to think about tomorrow, I just needed to embrace the now. The present with Marshall Lee hugging my body as his gentle breathing tickled my chest. Glob, I've never felt more blessed in my life than I did right now.

Feeling beyond exhausted, and even more content, I smiled to myself and kissed the top of his head, closing my eyes and letting sleep take over me. Whatever our future brings, I hope it stays as good as this.

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Well well well. Surprise. Smut and the L bomb all in one huge chapter?
I'm itching to publish this immediately so I'm gonna stop tapping my stupid thumbs and get this over with 😂
I hope y'all enjoy this gift

I'll see you in the next chap ❤️