I was awoken by something batting at my nose. My eyes blinked open and were met with big, round green ones. I jumped, scared of seeing my cat so close. Schwabble jerked back as well and meowed, rubbing against my bare chest. With a yawn I sat up in my bed, pushing my cat away.

"What day is it?" I mumbled to myself, looking around my dark room. What time is it? Shouldn't the sun be peeking through the curtains? Maybe it's being covered by clouds. Or an army of aliens coming to destroy our planet and end all of humanity. I hope it's the second one. I got up to check outside, tripping over dirty piles of clothes in the process. Pushing the dusty curtain aside, it was pitch black and stars could be seen through the thick trees. "Globdamnit, you dumb cat! The one night I'm actually having a nice, deep sleep, you just had to wake me up! And for what!?" I glared at Schwabble's reflective eyes through the shadows. She let out a meep and curled up in the spot where I was just sleeping. "You-! Hrrg! Brat!" She closed her eyes and fell asleep.

I covered my face with my hands, fighting the urge to scream in frustration. Lately I hadn't been getting very good sleep due to my own mind keeping me awake and/or waking me up repeatedly throughout the night. This was the one night in a while that I fell asleep at a good time and stayed asleep. But all thanks to my dumb kitty, that was ruined.

Knowing that I wouldn't be able to fall asleep again, I went downstairs, almost tripping in the process. I still didn't know what time it was but I didn't care. My living room was dark but I managed to blindly find the remote and turn on the TV. I plopped on the couch and swaddled myself in a blanket. After sleeping on this couch for almost a straight month when Bonnie was here, it almost felt more comfortable than my bed. (However, the kinks in my neck and back had said otherwise.) I flipped through the channels, not finding anything interesting except for those super long infomercials about vacuums. I guess this'll have to do for now.

I tried not to let my mind get the best of me but I couldn't help think about what would happen tomorrow... or rather, later today. (Whatever, time is an illusion.) After well over two years, I'd talk with my ex-girlfriend again. I was nervous, anxious, and a little bit excited? I hoped it wouldn't be too awkward. She was a very social person and always spoke the majority of any conversation so I shouldn't worry too much about that. What would we even talk about, though? I have so many questions.

I should stop worrying about this, everything is going to be fine! Probably.

The way she had been texting me lately was completely different from how she used to. She seemed excited and happy to see me again, even used emojis. It seemed like she really has changed. But what if this was just another one of her acts and she hasn't? Deep down I have a fear that she's just going to trick me into getting back together with her and use me again, but I was confident that wouldn't happen. She's obviously changed for the better.

But who knows, maybe we would get back together and end up living wonderful, happy lives with each other! With no thoughts of being gay or anything like that. Just two, normal, straight people, living normal, straight people lives. Because I'm not gay. Nope. Move over fellas, I only have eyes for that good ol vajeen. Totally...

Sometime over the next few hours I was able to fall back asleep and get some much needed rest. Once I woke back up, I still had no idea what time it was but at least the sun was out now. Some little kid's cartoon was playing on TV so I assumed it was pretty early still. I sat up with a yawn, mesmerized by the happy voice explaining the colors of the rainbow to me through catchy song. I was sitting there for a while, my mind completely numb of any thought or feeling whatsoever. It was a weird state to be in, and it had been a reoccurring thing lately. A state of numbness, of nothingness, of solid plain existence.

One second I was worrying about something, and the next I felt nothing and didn't care about anything. It wasn't a normal "get over it, worrying over dumb stuff is pointless" realization, but more of a "life itself is pointless" one. Moments like these quickly led to existential crises which then led to a wave of depression and meaninglessness. Not a good cycle to be stuck in, that's for sure.

Before I let myself blank out too much, I rose from the couch and entered the kitchen, though I wasn't sure for what reason. As a distraction maybe. I glanced around, noticing the pile of dirty dishes in the sink that's who knows how old. I should get Bubbs over here to clean for me. Im sure that wouldn't be awkward at all... I feel so bad every time I see him. I broke his heart and then proceeded to basically ignore him. He tries to talk to me like how we did when we were just friends but I have to try my hardest to stay away from him.

It sucks and I know it upsets him but I can't focus on anything but him when he's around. I'm trying to figure myself out and it's kind of hard when the guy that I had feelings for is always near. Just when I think that I'm back to being completely straight, he pops up and I'm back to square one. Obviously I don't want to stop being friends, I need to at least know he's there, but not while I'm trying to sort my thoughts. Being with Ashley should help.

Well, I should probably eat something while I'm in here. Knowing there wasn't a big selection of food anywhere, I opened the freezer and pulled out a probably-expired breakfast burrito. I threw it in the microwave under a napkin, pressed some random buttons, and hit start, watching the freezer-burnt food rotate. I quickly refilled Schwabble's food and water while I waited and then pulled the hot burrito out of the microwave just before it started beeping. It was always too loud and sparked up my anxiety.

As soon I was walking upstairs, breakfast burrito burning my hand, a white, fuzzy blur darted by along with the sound a little bell jingling rapidly. I glared in my cat's direction and took an angry bite. "Fatass," I mumbled once I heard muffled munching sounds come from the kitchen. I was still pissed at her for waking me up last night.

Somewhere in the wreckage of my room, I found my phone and checked the notifications. Snapchats, a few texts from Fionna, twitter, Instagram, etcetera. The time was only ten something so I had plenty of time to get ready/contemplate my life choices. There was a text from Ashley and to my surprise, a message from Bubba as well.

'I'm not going to fight you on this, but please, be careful. And remember that we're all here for you.'

I assumed he was talking about my "date" with Ashley. She had hurt me really bad in the past so I understood his concern, and I greatly appreciated that. It's good to know that he still cares, even when I- wait a second. How did he find out about Ashley? ...Fionna.

"Damnit, Fi!" I grumbled, angry that she did the one thing I told her not to do. Barnaby was never supposed to find out about this! Glob, I bet he hates me even more now! Going right back to the girl that crushed my heart and soul when he did all of that work helping me get over her in the first place. He must think I'm an idiot, which I guess I am. I suddenly didn't want this burrito anymore, or to see Ashley again.

I imagined Bubba's disappointed face looking down at me in disgust, like I had just betrayed him in the worst possible way. Which wouldn't be that far off, honestly. I'm supposed to be forgetting him right now, but all I can think about is how every single thing I do affects him. The breakup, the ignoring, teaching class, going behind his back and meeting with my ex. He's probably so angry at me and it made me feel horrible inside. There's no doubt that he's being hurt by what I'm doing to him. I broke up with him so that I wouldn't hurt him, yet here I am doing exactly that.

I let out a sigh and opened Ashley's text.

Good morning! ❤️ So excited to see you again today! I've missed you sooo much Marshy!

Trying my best to block Bubba out of my mind, I let myself smile at her message. I couldn't lie, I missed her too. Besides all the abuse, she was a pretty cool chick. When she wasn't forcing me to do something for her, she was always so funny and awesome, like how she was when we first met in middle school. I'm glad she's back to her normal self again. I sent her a text back.

Can't wait to see you (: I missed you too

I considered sending a heart but decided against it. It felt wrong for some reason.

After a while I built up enough will power to get up and go get ready. My movements were slow and sluggish as I didn't really want to do them. I estimated that I spent about an hour in the shower, mostly just standing under the water, thinking about the pros and cons of life and death. When I stepped out of the shower, I came to the conclusion that the pros outweighed the cons for being dead, but that was a discussion for another time. I made a plan and I was going to stick to it, no time for dying yet.

Another hour went by before I was almost done getting ready. Again, I wasted most of it sitting around doing nothing. But after some time drying my hair and a thorough search through my closet, I decided on a simple v-neck shirt that fit sort of snug with long sleeves, paired with dark-wash jeans that had a few frayed rips in them. The weather out lately had been pretty chilly due to the approaching Fall season, so I grabbed a random flannel off my floor and tied it around my waist for if I get cold later (and to add a pop of color).

As my reflection copied my movements in the mirror, and the more I looked at myself, the more I felt that something was missing from my outfit. Necklace maybe? Nah. Bracelets? Eh, I already had some rubber bands and hair ties on my wrists. A Hat? Yes, a hat!

Since it's Fall, beanies are in right now. But those were too basic, and only to be worn on days where your hair is shitty. My hair, however, was not shitty today. But my overgrown bangs are annoying as hell and need to be out of my face. A baseball cap could work, I guess. I picked an old denim- wash black one that was hanging on my wall and shoved it on backwards, making sure the front of my hair was in it. I checked myself in the mirror again, satisfied enough at my appearance. I shrugged at the visible dark circles under my eyes that were from my lack of sleep and laced up the closest pair of black boots.

Ashley had sent me another text saying she was almost at the park, the spot we agreed to meet at. I quickly sprayed on some cologne and grabbed up everything I needed in my room without another glance in the mirror, knowing that I'd start to nitpick myself if I did. I said bye to Schwabble and went on my way, a fluttering feeling in my stomach the whole ride there.

>>>>><<<<<

I walked through the park entrance, instantly reminded of when I brought Barnaby here for our first date. I shook my head, blocking that from my mind for now. It wasn't the time to think about Gumball right now. I have to focus on Ashley, a girl, and block all thoughts about boys completely out. Because I'm not gay.

Speaking of Ashley, up ahead of me on a bench sat what looked like a girl from the back with platinum blonde hair, so blonde it was basically white. That had to be her, bleaching her hair was always her thing. And if that wasn't clear enough, she had sent me a picture of the exact same bench a few minutes ago. I stopped right in my tracks, my heart picking up pace. I was nervous. It wasn't too late to back out yet... Maybe I should just leave. This was a mistake. I should not have agreed to do this-

No. I have to do this. I promised myself I would. No pussying out. This girl has changed. Plus I'm different now, I'm stronger. She can't hurt me anymore. She wouldn't hurt me. Bubba wouldn't be proven right. Ashley is going to be super sweet and nice and maybe we'll even get back together, who knows. Only one way to find out...

I took a deep breath and pushed up my sleeves. Just gotta keep this cool and casual, and remember to smile. Forcing my legs to move, I walked over to where she was sitting and cleared my throat to grab her attention.

"Hey, sorry I'm late," I said with a smile. The second she looked up from her phone my heart temporarily stopped. My smile widened when her gorgeous face lit up. It was as if time had stopped for a while and I took that as an invitation to admire every part of her face. It felt like I was seeing a whole different person. Her olive skin looked as soft as ever, natural too. Her subtle freckles were exposed, not covered up by her usual layers of makeup. Same with her eyes, which weren't drowned out with bright and smoky eye shadows and liners; all she had on was some mascara. And her lips were natural with regular lipgloss, no crazy lipstick colors.

She was gorgeous.

The thing that stood out the most was her hair. It was completely different from her signature style back in high school. It was still the same white-bleached color but it looked like she was a normal girl now. Before, her hair was super long but shaved on the sides, looking sort of weird yet cool that totally fit her personality and style. But now, she had grown out the sides of her hair and cut it short so it was all the same length all around. Her bangs looked the same though, except shorter and off to the side more. It was adorable on her. Ashley must've curled it because I knew her hair was naturally straight, and her snowy locks were twisted and wavy, which only added to her cuteness.

As if time had resumed, Ashley had stood up from the bench and walked up to me, arms wide open. I bent over and hugged her waist, her standing on her tip-toes to wrap her arms around my shoulders since she wasn't wearing her usual stilts for heels. She was kind of short; only coming up to about my shoulder. Our embrace was long and we held each other tight. I could smell her perfume which was light and vanilla scented, not like her typical suffocatingly flowery one that she used to wear all the time.

"I don't care, as long as you're here now," her shrill voice spoke. I missed this; I missed her. It all felt right again, we were meant to see each other again. We were meant to be together. She leaned away, her hands still on my shoulders, and stood flat on the ground looking me up and down. "Wow," she breathed. "You look great! And good glob," she laughed, her fingers twirled my hair around, "your hair's almost longer than mine!" Her eyes found mine again and she squealed, jumping up and hugging me. Ashley hurried her face in my neck and I could feel her smile.

She let go again and I took her small hands in mine. I quickly noticed that she didn't have fake nails on, but only a neatly painted pink nail polish. "Jeez, you are... gorgeous!" I beamed and she blushed, taking away one hand to cover her face. "No seriously!" I pulled her hand off and interlinked our fingers. The way they perfectly fit with mine was almost uncomfortable. "You're hotter than I remember," I laughed. "I love the hair by the way, it suits you really well."

"Oh, shut up!" she giggled, pushing my shoulder playfully. I didn't think anything of it and laughed. "Come on, let's walk! I want to hear about what you've been up to all this time." Ashley excitedly cradled my arm and pulled me along the path. It was weird how I felt so much taller and stronger with her; like a man. For some reason it didn't feel natural but I didn't think too much about it.

"Oh man, so much has happened I don't even know where to start." We walked slowly together for a while, me thinking of what to say.

"Start after we broke up. What did you do?"

"Hmm..." I searched deep in my mind, digging up old memories. "Well, I cried," I joked even though it was completely true. Ashley laughed too, rubbing my arm. "No but really, I was sad for a while, but I had good friends to keep me company and help, you know, get over you."

"That pink-haired kid, right? What was his name again? Gumball or something? The gay one that always said hi to you in the halls?" Ashley's golden eyes peered into mine. When we first met, one of the things we bonded over was our rare eye colors. Her's are a hypnotizing golden brown while mine are strangely reddish toned. There were many times where it felt like we'd had spent hours staring into each other's eyes. Her's held more power behind them, however. It was as if she could fool anyone into doing whatever she wanted. That, or her naturally seductive nature that she was well aware of. Maybe it was both, but nonetheless I knew that her eyes had once had power over me. They always gave me false hope. Like when she'd get mad at me and slap me around, I'd look into her eyes and it was as if she was telling me she still loved me, that it wasn't going to happen again. Even now, her eyes still had the same effect on me.

"I-" I averted our eyes, "I don't remember. I haven't talked to him in a while." I cleared my throat, uncomfortable about lying about him. But I didn't want her to know I was any close to him. What she doesn't know won't hurt her. "I mostly hung around Flame and got high. You remember him right?" You better, considering you sucked his dick in the 9th grade.

"Ohh yeah, I remember Flame," she spoke in a wispy tone. "I always liked him." Even though I knew she always slept around behind my back (not that she tried to keep it a secret), it still hurt. Especially knowing she slept around with my best friend on multiple occasions, that hurt the most. "Well anyway, I'm glad you never hung around that little nerd. There's no doubt he would've turned you gay," she laughed. I frowned a little but quickly covered it with a smile.

I chuckled a little, "Yeah, you're probably right..." I cleared my throat again.

"Does he still blow dudes at the weight room? I remember I caught him in the act our sophomore year when I was about to give James Baxter a-... never mind, unimportant. Anyway, I found out from Larry Splicer-Pritts and some other jock dudes that he's always in there blowin' dudes after practice."

"Oh- uh. I never heard anything about that. But I guess he has a boyfriend now and I don't see him as the cheater type." Ashley tensed a little at that.

I was well aware of what Barnaby used to do in the weight room but I never looked down on him because of it. I only found out about his activities after we became friends, he kept it pretty hush-hush and didn't like talking about it whenever I asked. No one knew he did stuff like that, not even Fionna. He had a reputation to uphold and so did those other guys. If word got out that a well-known straight guy was seen getting jacked off by the oh-so-innocent Barnaby Gumball, things would've gone south for everyone involved real quick. Once we became good friends, his adventures to the weight room became less and less until he stopped for good and it just became a dirty little secret of his.

"Hm. Good for them, I guess," she said snootily and continued pulling me along. "Anything else important happen while we've been apart?"

I shrugged. "No not really." I was going to avoid telling her about my depressing summer, job, and of course my relationship with Bubbs, but I figured I better tell her something. "Oh! There's some big drama going on with Bonnibel and Marceline though."

Ashley gasped, "Oh no! They didn't break up did they?" She clutched my arm. She always loved my cousins even though the feeling wasn't exactly mutual.

"Oh no, nothing like that. But it's worse. Let's sit over there." I pointed over to an old porch swing.

"That bad, eh?" she mumbled as she took a seat on the wooden swing. I sat beside her and we faced each other.

"Just wait." I went on telling Ashley about how Bonnie stayed with me for about a month after the assault and that she was pregnant. Ashley seemed genuinely shocked and saddened at the news. We ended up talking about that for a while before changing the subject to her and what she's been up to. Apparently she dropped out, ran away with some guys, didn't tell anybody, and her parents relocated the family move not long after. Just in the past year she cleaned up from all the drugs, sex, booze, and badass fashion.

I knew she moved but I didn't know she dropped out beforehand. Her dad had called me after a few weeks of Ashley being a ghost told me that they moved. He also said I wouldn't be allowed to see or talk to her anymore. That really tore me up because Ashley and I had been doing really well. To know that I'd never see her again had crushed me. I remember feeling like I was being stabbed in the heart or something emo like that. And now, knowing that she ran away with a group of other guys just reopened the scars.

With that, the subject transitioned and we were getting more personal and honest with each other. We were starting to get over the small talk and happy 'it's so good to see you, how've you been' kind of conversation. Reality was setting in and I don't think either of us really knew how to feel about it. We weren't just exes that reunited anymore. We were abuser and abused, sitting down and coming to terms with our broken past.

"Why did you do that? And why didn't you ever tell me? You had my really worried."

Ashley sighed, staring off into the distance. "Dad was planning on moving for a while and I didn't know how to tell you so I just kind of, left." She started fiddling with the sleeves of her sweater. "Having to say goodbye to you and all our friends was going to be too hard for me so I avoided it." Ashley reached over and grabbed my hand. "I was also really pissed at my family and you know how well I handle my anger," she laughed. "Just did what I do best. Run away from my problems," she sighed.

I hummed in response. "Well, it's whatever. The past is in the past." Ashley agreed. I thought about something else I'd been wanting to know for a while. "I have another question."

"Go for it," she swung us in the chair and watched me. I contemplated asking, but I was curious.

"What did you feel when you hit me?" I asked straight up. Ashley seemed to tense a tad bit. "You obviously had to have felt something, right?" She stayed quiet for a while which made me unsure if she was trying to gather her thoughts or was trying to come up with a lie.

She eventually responded, "You know, I don't know... I'm kind of bored of all these questions. Let's go do something!" Ashley immediately stood from the swinging bench and yanked me off. As she pulled me along the path I remembered what Barnaby had said when I asked his opinion on her behavior:

"I think it's a psychological thing, she probably doesn't realizes what she's doing to you. She's seeking a sense of control. Power. With the way her family is, she doesn't really have that at home. So in return she's controlling you. She knows she has power over you and she likes that. That, mixed with whatever else is wrong with her..."

I shook my head. It doesn't matter what was wrong with her in the past. She's different now and that's all that matters. Ashley was pulling me along quite forcefully which made me regret asking that question. It was rude to ask and definitely offended her. Oh well. A gasp left Ashley's mouth.

"Marshy, look!" She pointed over to a big bush of pale pink flowers. "They're my favorite! What are they called again?" Ashley was back to her excited self, rushing over to the wide flowers.

"Peonies," I answered, following her. Watching her gawk at the flowers, I smiled. This was the Ashley I knew and loved. The real her. The changed her. Something fluttered in me and I wanted to do something I hadn't done for a long time. Without thinking I stepped closer to her small frame and placed a hand under her chin, gently moving face towards mine. With another hand on her waist, I pulled her closer and leaned down, attaching our lips. I could tell she was surprised at first, but she quickly melted into it and grabbed onto me.

Everything was coming back to me after I felt Ashley's glossed lips on mine. I was reminded of all the good times we had together and it gave me hope that there was a possibility of us working again. This wasn't like the kisses we shared after she would apologize for hurting me and promised she wouldn't do it again, nor was it like the ones where she'd kiss me just so I would do something for her. No, this was like the kiss we had after our first date when we snuck into a shitty rock concert in 7th grade. And like the one we shared after we had given our innocence to one another only a year later. It was full of love and warmth.

When we pulled away and I watched Ashley's golden brown eyes flutter open, I knew I was still in love with her. I always had been. Her full lips spread into a wide smile and she hugged me tightly around my torso, snuggling her face into my chest. I embraced her back, loving every second of this. It was still strange seeing her so short. With heels on, her eyes are usually level with my nose. Not only was I used to that but I was also used to being around Bubba, who was basically my height. Speaking of him...-

No! I need to stop thinking about him. I'm not gay, obviously, I just kissed a girl and liked it. There's a good chance Ashley and I could get back together so I can't be thinking about him nor our mistake of a relationship. There's a girl here who I've loved for years and have already sacrificed so much for her in the past that I should be focusing on instead.

I gave Ashley a squeeze before separating from her and grabbed her hands. Her golden eyes stared into mine and I tried my best to not picture Barnaby's face while I said these next words to her.

"I'm still in love with you." Ashley's eyes went wide and her smile fell. Her squeaky nervous laugh sounded through my ears and my face dropped. "What? Do you not believe me or something?" She retreated her hands and hugged herself.

"No," he huffed with a laugh. "I believe you." She shook her head. "I just don't understand why." Ashley's bubbly attitude was gone. As if she flipped a switch and changed her personality. "I mean, how long has it been since I left you? And you haven't moved on yet? Seems kinda... pathetic." Her hands were now at her sides.

I was lost for words. Why was she saying this? "I- I mean, I did move on but-"

"Marshall, baby. You texted your ex and wanted to meet up. That doesn't exactly sound like moving on." Ashley cocked her hip. I guess she had a point, but she was missing major details to the story.

"Listen, I'm in a weird place right now and I just need some familiarity. But even so, I stand by what I said. I love you, Ashley. I always will. You were my first love and that doesn't just go away." I had no idea what I was saying but the words just seemed to slip out of my mouth.

Ashley put her palm to her head, grabbing her hair as if she was annoyed. "Jesus, Marshy," she laughed. "You are so... I don't even know!" She paced around slowly. "I put you through so much shit for years while we were dating and you never once fought back to me. I even left you because I felt so bad for all that and you still wouldn't leave me alone! And here you are saying you still love me two years later... I just don't get it. What is wrong with you?" She stared at me like I was the crazy one.

I kept calm, speaking with a steady voice, "I already told you; I love you." Ashley was quiet for a while. I continued. "Why did you even agree to see me anyway if you don't love me back?" Her attention came back to me. "...Did you ever love me?" I asked with more emotion than I wished.

"...Of course I did. Believe it or not I regret ever hurting you the way I did." Her eyes held truth in them. "If I could take back everything I did, I would, I promise you that... Because apparently I turned you into one of those slave-to-women freaks." Ashley rolled her eyes. I felt ashamed. My mind went back to that thought I had a while ago about wanting to be dominated by Barnaby and it only made me feel worse. I averted my eyes.

"And why did I want to see you again?" Ashley continued talking with her nasally voice. "Mostly because I wanted to see if you could still fuck as good as you used to. As pathetic as you are, you still have a nice dick." She shrugged. I watched her. She was acting so nonchalant. Just a few minutes ago she was all giggly and happy. All that changed just because I said I loved her? "And I wanted to see if you had changed at all." She glanced me up and down. "Clearly you didn't."

I frowned. "That makes two of us," I mumbled bitterly. "So that's it? You just wanted a quick fuck?"

"I mean, I wasn't thinking 'quick' exactly but sure. My boyfriend is getting on my nerves lately and you just happened to pop into my life again. In all honesty, I really did miss you though."

My eyes widened. "You have a boyfriend and you wanted to fuck your ex?" Honestly why am I even surprised she's cheating. Ashley just shrugged.

"What did you think we were going to do? Get back together or something?" She laughed. Ashley glanced at me when I stayed silent. "Oh my glob, you did. Seriously Marshall, what the fuck? I don't love you anymore! I've moved on! Get over me already!" I felt like my heart had stopped beating or something. I was crushed, angry, sad. I didn't know what to feel anymore. Why was she acting like this? I really thought she had changed; that there'd be a future between us... Why do I always do this to myself? No, I won't let this end badly this time. She won't just push me around and belittle me again. I'll prove to her, and myself, that I'm not pathetic... Except I don't know how.

"Listen, Marshall. I'm sorry about all this, but you did it to yourself. When I first saw you, I thought you were going to get all pissed and put me in my place for being awful to you in the past. Which would've been super hot... But I really didn't expect you to get all lovey-dovey on me and want to get back together." Ashley flipped her short hair. "I really think there's something wrong with you. I know I'm an shitty person, and have come to terms with it. But you? You're still living in denial or something. It's crazy. You're crazy." I frowned.

Was it really that crazy to think someone could've changed? Or to think that maybe someone would finally love me? I guess she must be right.

"Welp... Since you're going to just stand there and look stupid, I guess I'll leave. It's a shame really, you're even hotter than you were when we were together. Sorry it had to turn out like this," Ashley said emotionlessly. She kissed my cheek briefly before walking away back down the path.

I stood there in shock and upset with myself. How did I let this happen? And why does it always have to happen to me? I'm such an idiot for thinking something good would ever come out of Ashley. I can't just let her walk away believing I'm a weak piece of shit. I have to stop her and prove to her I'm worth something.

"Hey, wait!" I called out. Ashley stopped and turned towards me with an annoyed look on her pretty face. She cocked her hip, rolling her eyes. I walked up to her.

"Give it a rest Marsh-"

"Hush," I interrupted her and she glared at me. I thought back to what she said earlier about wishing I would 'put her in her place' so I grabbed her waist and pressed her against me. "I'm not letting you walk away from me like this again. At least not with out a proper goodbye," I said in a low voice, squeezing her a little tighter. I glanced her body up and down slowly, biting my lip a little to hint at what I was implying.

Ashley's eyes lidded a little and she smirked. "You're lucky I'm desperate right now." Before I could respond to her insult towards me, she got on her tip-toes and kissed me. Her small hands grabbed at my shirt and we stood there just kissing for a bit. I pulled away but kept an arm around her waist, trying my best to keep a smirk on my lips as I led her back the way we came. My stomach started fluttering just thinking about what was about to happen. I tried not to think about it too much, knowing I'd start thinking about Barnaby and feel too guilty. "Where are we going?" She asked when we were close to the exit.

"My car. Unless you have somewhere better."

"Car sex is pretty hot," she agreed. I led us towards my black car (which was parked a distance away from people, making it pretty private) and unlocked the doors, opening the back seat for her. I watched as she slowly sat down, sensually crawling back and leaning against the other door, all while making lustful eye contact with me. I smirked, excited and nervous, and crawled in after her. Now was my chance to prove myself.

>>>>><<<<<

I had lost track of time but I didn't care. I was in a car making out and grinding with a hot girl. If I had to, I'd say it had been about ten minutes of this. Ashley's tight shirt was off, exposing her full chest and so were my hat, flannel, and v-neck. The blonde was straddling my lap, her clothed crotch rubbing against mine. Just from this foreplay I could tell she was already quite aroused. Her dainty fingers were tangled in my hair while I mine were busy squeezing her breasts, my lips kissing teasing her body. Her breathy sighs were like music, an old song that I used to play on repeat and was now being played again for the first time in a long while.

I gently laid her against the car seat and kissed her lips, one hand slowly tracing down her smooth body. By the way she jerked ever so slightly, I could tell it tickled her and I continued traveling down until my fingers were making their way under the waistband of her ripped jeans. Ashley broke the kiss to let out a sigh and I took this opportunity to kiss her neck. My fingers rubbed against the moistened fabric of her lace underwear and her sighs turned into groans. I asked her if this was okay and she answered that it was so I continued with confidence.

I was proud she was enjoying this and that I was able to pleasure her, but there was still a little problem... I still wasn't hard yet. Hoping she wouldn't ask for me anytime soon, I continued what I was doing and slipped my fingers under her lace underwear, instantly being greeted with her wet warmth. Ashley let out a moan and pulled my hair tight, her other hand gripping my wrist that was in her pants. I peppered her jaw with little kisses while I stimulated her, shamefully loving every second of this.

After a while if this, I decided to take it up a notch. A penetrated her with a single finger, pleased with her tightness. (Which was surprising considering she's definitely been around.) Though her escalating moans were super hot, they still weren't doing anything for me. Nothing about this was sexually satisfying to me in any way. What is wrong with me? I tried focusing on Ashley, adding another finger inside her. Her grip on me tightened. I tried with all my might to get myself hard but it still wasn't working.

Ashley and I made eye contact and the sight of her was erotic. Not enough to spark anything in me, apparently. Her eyes were lidded, lips were raw from us kissing and her biting her lip, and her olive skin was blushed pink. She was hot, no one could deny that. Here I was fingering this sexy girl, and I can't even get it up. Ashley gave me that look and I knew it was all over.

"Marshall," she moaned, caressing my cheek. "Give it to me." Before I knew it, she was fiddling with my zipper. I shot back, gently removing my fingers from her.

"Wait a sec! I'm not- I'm not... you know." I shrugged, ashamed. Ashley propped herself on her elbows and gave me a confused look.

"You're not hard?" She asked in disbelief. Ashley leaned forward and grabbed my crotch, frowning at what she felt. "You've been fingering me for like, twenty minutes! And you're not hard!?" Her voice escalated as she got angrier.

I panicked. "I mean- I was hoping it would get up eventuall-"

"It's been twenty minutes!" She yelled.

"I-I'm sorry? If you want I could still-" I reached for her but she smacked my hand away viciously.

"Ugh! No, you creep!" Ashley started fishing for her shirt. "I can't believe I let you do that to me! You're disgusting!"

"What? How am I-" I was very confused. She liked it, did she not?

"What are you? Gay or something? Am I not pretty enough for you, is that it? I thought you loved me, Marshall? What happened to that, huh? I bet you just wanted an excuse to feel me up, you pedophile!"

"Ashley, you're older than me!"

"Whatever!" She yelled. The angry blonde threw open the car door and jumped out once her clothes were back on.

No! I ruined it again! Now she thinks even less of me, damnit! "Wait!" I called out, scrambling to get out on my own side.

"Leave me alone, creep!" Ashley was storming off as fast as her short legs would carry her. I ran up to her in an attempt to do I don't even know what but she met me half way, stopping me in my tracks with a powerful smack to the face. Before the pain could register, I was pushed to the ground by tiny hands. My bare back scraped against the rough sidewalk and I winced. "Don't ever try to talk to me again! This is the last time I ever deal with your pathetic ass! You're such a fucking loser, like seriously! Get over me, you obsessed weirdo!" Ashley kept listing off insults like rapid-fire while I lay shocked on the sidewalk. "You're a pervert! I hate you, Marshall Lee! I've never met anyone so weak and pathetic as you in my entire life. No one will ever love a freak like you! You wanted a proper goodbye? Well here it is, you miserable bastard! Good riddance!" Ashley kicked me in the side, making me wince again. I watched as she stomped off, continuing to mumble insults. "Can't believe I wasted a perfectly good Saturday on you. Piece of shit."

I lay there sprawled out on the sidewalk, staring up the sky. I'm such a fucking idiot. Why did I think this was going to be a good idea? I must be the opposite of that king guy that turns stuff into gold, because apparently everything I touch turns to shit. Every word Ashley said to me repeated in my head and I just accepted it. There was no use in fighting anymore. Most of the things she said about me were true anyway (except for pervert - I'm not that bad).

I sighed and sat up, groaning in pain over my scratched up back and hurt side. When I looked around I noticed Ashley was already gone and out of sight, and thankfully no one was nearby. With a shake of my head I carefully stood up, rubbing my side. I just wanted to get the hell out of here and go cry in my room. I came back to my car and tried to open the drivers seat, only to find it was locked. "Shit." I tried again and again, pulling at the handle frantically. "No no no, shit shit shit." I patted my jeans desperately, hoping my keys were still in them but no luck. Nothing but my limp ass dick. Cupping my hands on the window, I looked inside the backseat, instantly noticing my wallet, keys, phone, and clothes on the floor.

"Fuck," I cursed, pulling at my hair. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuuuck!!!" I repeatedly kicked the back wheel, beyond pissed. Just what I fucking need! What the hell am I supposed to do now!? I can't just break the window, this is Simone's car technically. Resisting the mental breakdown that was coming on, I took a few deep breaths to help rationalize my thoughts.

I could call the cops? They help with this stuff right? Oh wait... with what phone. "Damnit!" I shouted, picking up a pebble off the ground and pelting it at a nearby tree. Alright chill, Marshall. I could walk home maybe? My house key is in the car but I still have that spare. Ugh, that's such a far walk though. Well, the park is sorta close to the school, and Bubba and Fionna's neighborhood is close to the school. I could walk to one of their houses. Bubba is handy with cars, surprisingly, but it's still super awkward between us so that's a no-go. I'll just walk to Fionna's. I need some major friend support right now. And hopefully Mono will show up to help me get my car open.

I sighed and took a few steps forward. Wait, what direction am I supposed to go again?

                            >>>>><<<<<

After a long, freezing walk and a few contemplations to jump into traffic, I made it to Fionna and Cake's house in the early evening. Noticing that only Cake's car was in the driveway, I climbed up their porch, shivering, and gave the door a pitiful knock. When no one answered, I tried the doorbell. Soon enough I heard Fionna's cheerful voice from inside.

"I'll get it!" There were a few clicks before the door opened and I was met with a gust of warm air. Fionna's happy face turned into a shocked one when she saw me.

"Hey," I sniffled from the cold, "Can I come in?"

                             >>>>><<<<<

(Unedited but Idc anymore)
Wowie has it been a while!
I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a so long, I've been so busy and unmotivated lately.
Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. The poor boy can't catch a break, can he!
Thanks to everyone who continues to support me and this book!

See you guys in the next chapter 🤘🏻❤️