Soon I felt the engine roar as we began our journey, I remained "asleep".
I just needed to process a few things, I'm starting to like Jimin more and more, of course I was a fan but now... well, I don't even know what now.
Before I'd get nervous because I was a fan but now it's just him?
Does that make any sense?
Nope.

I waited a good 30 minutes before "waking up". I looked around to find that everyone was sat in the same place as the journey to the theme park.
Sariah nudged me, I took out my earphones so we could converse.

"OH GOOD, YOU'RE AWAKE. SENA IT WAS SO COOL. OMG OMG OMG. UGH. YOU COUDLN'T GET ON ANY OF THE RIDES? REALLY? HAHAHHHAHAHAHAHA. AWWW POOR YOU." She shrieked
They told me all about it; how Sariah had to hold onto Namjoon out of fear, how Lisa pretended to be fearless- yet she most definitely screamed the loudest on the roller coasters and how the reason she isn't talking right now is because she's lost her voice from the excessive screams of terror she'd let out, how we suspect that Hobie could've definitely made it but he made up some bogus explanation because he's actually the most terrified out of the members and how Jungkook was the brave maknae, how he treated the theme park like a kids' playground and saw nothing to fear there.

Finally, Jimin spoke "WELL, we had the most fun. Didn't we? ^^- We-we had soooooo much fun that we felt bad for you guys for not having as much fun, right, Sena?-

We had sooo sooo much fun." he blurted out with enthusiasm.
Yoongi fired back, "Oh really, what did you two do?"

"We had fun."

If his idea of fun is almost giving me a heart attack and drowning me in hidden feels, then yeah of course we had fun.

-------

Sariah and Lisa came back to my house to pick up their stuff. Lisa will be officially working now.

The boys went home too, Lisa and Sariah are going to stop by to say goodbye when they leave- of course it's not much of a big deal since their apartment isn't too far but Sariah and Namjoon were acting as if they'd never see each other again.... It was so mushy and cheesy that I can't bring myself to speak of the details.
As far as Lisa and Tae got, he sneaked in a kiss on her cheek that caused her to almost die and blush a profound ruby colour.
We all said our goodbyes and they drove off.

I convinced Jimin to let me have a few hours to myself, with the excuse that I wanted to shower and tidy up- but really I just needed time to think, some time for silence.
Yesterday was still resonating in my mind, to the extent that on multiple occasions I'd forget about how happy I was about what happened in the maze.
I need some distractions, I need to seem okay.
Making people worry is selfish.
I don't want to make them worry, they have their own problems and responsibilities, they definitely don't need me too.

I've decided that tonight I'll have another English lesson, after some of the boys finish practicing and the latter will come before practice, most probably Namjoon, Jin and Jhope.
Namjoon can speak English, sure, but it won't hurt to chip into a few of the lessons, right? He can help out and encourage Jin and Jhope.
For the most part, Jin speaks English better than Hosoek but I feel like he'd be more focused with these two... Having the maknae line AND Hosoek would be too much for me.

Jungkook and I spoke a little more about arranging a meeting with his lady friend ^^. We agreed that the day after tomorrow would be best, after that, Bangtan's schedule is going to be very, very crowded.
So, all he has to do is actually tell her to go to some foreign girl's house (me) because he wants to see her.
Which may be difficult.... You know, since Jungkook hasn't really confessed to her.
He told me that Sungra might ask to bring her sister, for safety measures, you know?
I mean I totally understand but I'm no scary foreign lady, I'm nice, I swear!
--------

'My life feels so empty yet so full at the same time, is this what being an oxymoron feels like?
Nah Sena, you aren't an oxymoron, just a moron.
HAHAHAHAHA.
Funny. Nice one, Sena.
Note my sarcasm, incase you didn't get it-dip shit.
Shut up.
No, you shut up. I'm the narrator.'

I continue nodding to myself as this conversation continues in my mind.
At times like this, I'm just glad that I'm not thinking about Jimin-
And then I start thinking about Jimin :)
Isn't that nice.
That's nice, right?

I'm really , truly, awkward in any flirtatious or romantic situation, I remember, a few years back that one of my seniors asked to interview me for his research for class, anyway,
I was following the questions on his little sheet, he'd ask me the questions and write down my answers, we finished the last question and thought to myself "yay we're done", but he said, "one more question, are you single?"
I PANICKED BUT I PANICKED BECAUSE THE QUESTION WASNT ON THE SHEET.
Me being the dumbass that I am, I screamed "WHY?!"
And then I realised that maybe he was hitting on me, he replied with "thought I'd try" and he walked off.
I spent the next 10 minutes wanting to Bash my head into the table and my hands were so clammy that they were practically puddles.
----------

I tidied up around my flat a little.
I called for my first 3 students to come around 6pm- since their rehearsal starts at 7pm and the walk there is a mere minute or two.
Namjoon, Jin and Jhope.

I opened the door to be greeted by an overly cheery Jin, "HELLO, IM READY TU LORN" he sang as he made his way to a chair.
Hosoek an Namjoon followed, both giving a nod and smile after greeting me.
Honestly, the atmosphere was really nice and calm. Everything ran smoothly- you know, apart from some of the English-
I decided to test Hobie on body parts, I did this by pointing at a body part and making him tell me what it is in English.
I began with the basics-
I pointed:
To my head- "Hehd"
To my arm- "ARM"
I pointed to my hand, my stomach, my back, my finger, my foot, my ear, my neck. Then I pointed to my toe- this is where he had some trouble, he paused for a moment before answering, with a wide grin plastered across his face, "Foot-finger!"
This earned a small snorting noise from Namjoon and Jin.
I tried my hardest to not laugh as I told off the two Korean boys who were older than me.
There wasn't anything worth noting, we had conversations in English, I would ask questions in English and I would try to correct their pronunciation- trying my best to make sure they don't sound too British.

In the blink of an eye the lesson was over and they had to leave for their dance practice.

--------

I have a few hours to kill, I guess I'll just clean, do some grocery shopping and cook something; nothing special, just a small snack.
Not only did I clean like my life depended on it, I threw yesterday's clothes into the washer and set it I the highest setting.
I'm cleaning my clothes, just like I cleaned myself.

I'm still cringing just thinking about it.

The weather is beginning to get colder and I'm really excited, scarves and boots and gloves and hot chocolate and rolling up in my duvet and staying in bed.

I came home with 3 bags full of grocery, milk, cereal, oven pizza, chicken salami, mince beef, rice, a few vegetables and sweet&salty popcorn.
I packed everything away and threw myself on the couch.
I fell asleep.
The cool and silent air has a soothing affect on me.
I just lose myself in the cold.
It's this strange state of being mentally aware, physically unable and emotionally peaceful.
It's strange, but it's soothing.
I like the cold.

I jolted back to life as the sound of pounding on the door became clearer.
I opened the door to see worrisome Jimin and Yoongi, accompanied by concerned Jungkook and Taehyung.
"WHAT TOOK YOU SOO LONG?" Complained Jimin, trying to hide the worried look in his eyes.
I tried to remoisturise the inside of my mouth by slamming my tongue against the roof of my mouth, I squinted my eyes and ruffled my hair then crossed my arms before slowly responding, "I fell asleep...".
I tried my best to paint a pitiful expression across my face.
"Oh. You're tired? We can come another time. Go sleep, you should sleep, go and rest, don't let us keep you." Stuttered Jimin.
I mentally smirked at his struggle.
The other three glanced at him then proceeded into the living room and took a seat each.
"-h-hey, GUYS." Jimin protested before giving me an apologetic look and joining them.

"How was practice? You guys look like you went through boss-level hell."
They chuckled and nodded.
"It was intense." Stated Jungkook.

We began our lesson, it was pretty much the same thing as my previous lesson with Namjoon, Hosoek and Jin- except it was more energetic despite how tired the boys were.
Jungkook definitely had the best pronunciation, while Tae had the worst.
Jimin and Yoongi were equally horrid, I did my best to help them.
They both tried to remain fairly quiet to avoid embarrassing themselves, it was adorable >.< 

At the end of the lesson, as the four were leaving through the door, Kookie leaned in- "Unnie, thanks for that 'thing', I'll update you on the details tomorrow ^^."
Then it was Yoongi, he gave me a nod "Goodnight, take care, make sure to not sleep in the cold, see you tomorrow."
Tae- "Gooooooodnightttt!" And he gave me a small hug and I shit you not, I practically felt Jimin's electrical gaze attempt to shock the poor boy.
Jimin was the last to walk out, "I'll wash up and come by, I'm keeping my word- I'm not letting you be alone tonight either- especially since the girls are gone." He gave a half smile then walked out.
I shut the door and took a deep breath.
I'm still recovering from the maze, I have no idea how I will live through this.... ㅠ,ㅠ
My hands are going to be SO clammy- oh look they're already clammy just thinking about it.

I took another shower.
I still feel filthy from last night, I'm not constantly thinking about it but when I'm alone, It gets bad.
It's like it's on permanent re-run in my head.
I'm so nervous about Jimin I don't know what to do, maybe if I just stay in the shower I can avoid seeing him? If I don't answer the door, he'd probably knock it down to check up on me.
He's a sweetheart, I'm not complaining, I'm just not capable of keeping calm or unclammy when he does something caring.

There was a light knock on the door, I cautiously approached and opened the door- it's 11.43pm right now.
Jimin stood there with wet hair and a pillow under his arm.
He flashed a smile while trying to hide his teeth, "sorry I took so long, I was talking to the others. They wanted you to join our dorm but I told them that it's too crowded and too dirty and that you prefer your apartment and-"
"It's okay Jimin" I cut him off.
"Come in, I already set up the sleeping grounds."
He walked in and threw his pillow on the sofa.
"You going to sleep?" He asked, "wait did you shower again?" He examined my hair then my face.
"No, I'm not sleepy and yes I showered.."
"OH I thought I heard some out of tune vocals earlier, must've been you again ^^" he teased.
He made his way to the kitchen and turned the kettle on.
He pulled out a mug and a Nescafé packet.
"What are you doing? DONT DRINK COFFEE ITS LATE." I protested.
He continued preparing his drink, "well if you aren't sleeping, neither am I."
I examined his face, the bags under his eyes and the small bruise.
He looks exhausted.
Please, go to sleep~
"Oppa, please, you're exhausted. You didn't sleep last night much and you worked really hard today... Please. Sleep."
I begged.
I don't want to see him like this, especially if it's my fault.
I clenched my fists and I could feel them getting clammy.
"Don't worry, if I wanted to sleep, nothing could stop me, I don't want to sleep."
He grabbed his coffee and took a seat at one of the desks.
"What do you wanna do?" He asked as he sipped his coffee.
I stared at his hands, how his fingers wrapped around the mug- how the heat resonating off of the coffee was being absorbed by his soft hands-
"Sena?"
huh? I must've zoned out.
"I said what do you want to do?.... Do you want to draw?"
Unavoidably, I smiled and ran to my bedroom to fetch my drawing pad and pencil case.
I came back to find that Jimin had arranged the two chairs to be at either end of the desk, facing each other.
He sat down once again, I sat across him and passed him a sheet, I placed all my drawing equipment in the center and the stared at him.
Now what?
I'm sitting across him, I can't focus on drawing now.... Oh why was I so quick to agree to draw, I'm going to mess up, I don't draw well under pressure. I'm going to screw up. What do I do? What do I draw?
I took a deep breath.
It was silent except from the pitter patter of rain against the windows- my favourite sound.
I looked up to find Jimin staring at me, he leaned forward and grabbed a pencil.
He smirked, "are you going to draw me again?"
I scoffed before jokingly replying "that would give you another wish~"

"Hey, Sena?"
"Mm?"
"I'm using another wish."
My heart skipped a beat.
NO JIMIN NOPE PLEASE DONT TELL ME TO DRAW YOU LIKE ONE OF MY FRENCH GIRLS
IM SCARED WHAT DOES HE WANT OTL.
"-let me draw you. I wish for you to let me draw you."
I opened my mouth to protest but soon realised that I don't really have a choice.
"N-n-now?"
He nodded in agreement.
I look like a moldy camel right now.
I look disgusting. Nono.
I could feel my checks burning up, I looked down to fun that my hands had little puddles of moisture in them- I don't want to be examined or stared at.
I know, from experience, that when you draw someone you carefully look at every aspect of theirs.
I rubbed my hands on my trousers to dry them.
"Do you mind if I play some music?"
"Go ahead" he was already drawing, already enveloped with what he was working on.
I put my "chill" playlist on shuffle, it only included AKMU, K.Will, ZionT, Crush and Thornapple.
The sound of the music over the rain was beautiful.
I began drawing, I decided to draw Wonder Woman- she's my role model.
She's tall and built but not masculine, she's beautiful and strong and smart and attractive. She stands her ground and she helps others I mean seriously #goals
I've always read her Graphic novels and comic books.
Surprisingly, I was able to focus and I lost track of time.

~~

"Sena? Sena?" Jimin called out, I snapped back to reality and looked up.
"I'm finished drawing ^^ what about you?"
I looked down at my drawing, it was of Wonder woman, a close up side profile- it looked somewhat finished I guess, perhaps a bit more shading.
Jimin looked up at me, and held his drawing out infront of him, his eyes darted back and forth between me and the drawing, he softly smiled.
"Do you want to see?" He calmly asked.
Without giving me a chance to answer he got up and walked to me, he placed the drawing infront of me and stood behind me.

My eyes widened as they absorbed what he had drawn.
It was a girl, a beautiful girl, slightly looking down, softly smiling- with the most content expression on her face. She was surrounded by a ring of flowers, all different shapes as sizes; all beautiful in their own way, but none of them out shining the girl.
I swallowed my saliva,
"S-she's beautiful" I managed to whisper.
Jimin leaned in towards me,
"She's you"
I stared at the girl, that's not me.
It can't be.
"It is you. You're even more beautiful when you're drawing."
I stood still, physically frozen, mentally choking.
I'm not good with compliments.
I tried to speak but I ended up just exhaling on my first attempt-
"This is- it's just- I mean- I don't-"

"It's okay, it's amazing, I know, thank you. Thanks for letting me draw you- not that you had a choice....." He trailed off as he laughed to himself.

He complimented my drawing then we packed up and got ready to sleep, it was almost 2am.
Like yesterday, I set up a fake floor bed for myself.
Soon we were both in our beds, laying on our backs- looking up at the ceiling and talking.
He told me about a new song they were working on and how he wants to go back on the fancafe since he's been absent for a while.
"I need to leave early tomorrow, you'll still be asleep, thought I'd let you know."
I was slightly disappointed but on the bright side, at least he won't see my puffy face and messy hair~
He asked me about where I grew up and how things were in England and how I came to be an English teacher.
During our pleasant exchange, I made sure to close my eyes- so that everything was pitch black and that the only thing I could pick up was Jimin's sweet voice and  his unique scent.
"Sena, can I use another wish?.... "
JIMIN, We're alone and in the dark and now I'm nervous I mean it's stupid but come on my mind is going places don't do this to me-
"Well I mean it's mostly up to me so-... I'll just, right, okay...I wish for you to answer my questions truthfully and to never ever mention anything that is said beyond this point."
Slightly worried, I sighed, "....Okay"
I waited for him to shoot away at anything he was curious about.
He took a deep breath-
"How many boyfriends have you had?"
Oh. Oh no my hearteu, it's those kind of questions?
"....zero" I silently answered.
I prepared myself for the teasing that should follow- but nothing.
"Why?" He asked quietly.
"Fear, mostly. You either marry or break up.... I wouldn't know what to do in a relationship."
An empty silence followed.
I'd kill to know what he was thinking about.
"...What type of guys to you like?"
I've been asked this a lot, I always give somewhat the same answer-
"I don't have a type, as long as we make each other happy- I believe I have the potential to fall in love with anyone...."
I closed my eyes and waited for him to speak, only to hear his breathing...

"What about Suga Hyung?"

"He's a good friend, I care for him a lot and I admire his work and I'm jealous of his skin and of his legs"
I could hear Jimin slightly sigh in relief.
~

"Are you really okay about Suho?"
And then, I started thinking back to yesterday again-
I couldn't help it, my eyes began watering up-
"Yes- I mean, maybe. I think so. I- I mean. Actually, I'm not... I mean I'm usually okay... But when I'm alone, I can't stop thinking about it. It terrifies me."
My voice got shaky towards the end.

"Sena, do you want to hold my hand?" Jimin quietly offered. He let his arm hang down the side of the sofa bed, I rolled onto my side and faced the sofa, slowly I reached for his hand.
It was warm and soft.
I held on as I let my tears trail down.
"Thank you, Jimin. Thank you for being there when-" I let out before crying harder.
"Don't be scared, I'm here for you, it'll be okay." He squeezed my hand.
I cried until I drifted asleep- feeling particularly content and calm in Jimin's presence, rather than anxious and nervous.

----------

I woke up the next morning to the absence of Jimin.
It felt cold.
Not the nice kind of cold.
I walked barefoot to the kitchen, the icy wooden floor sending chills up my spine.
On the counter lay Jimin's drawing and a and small note.
It read:
Morning sunshine,
I made you a sandwich- unbelievable, I know, I'm charming, talented AND I make sandwiches. What a catch.

If you're cold, turn on the heating.

You can keep the drawing, it's for you.
It's so you can see how I see you, but I'm not that good at drawing and unfortunately it's hard to capture someone's essence and that drawing can't really compare to how you really are...
Anyway, stay strong, you're not alone- you have me- and Bangtan, but mostly me.
Have a nice day

From-
Seventh-in-looks

P.s if you show anyone this I will kill you :) xx

I couldn't help smiling, I probably looked insane, I had the hugest grin plastered across my face, I took the drawing and put it on the wall in my bedroom, I took the note and neatly placed it inside my diary.
Yes, I have a diary, somethings are just not made for sharing. I'd rather write them down.

I ate my breakfast as I watched some JKnews.
Today was me-time.
Snacks and movies.
Every now and then (more like every 5 minutes) I walked into my room glanced at the drawing and let thoughts of Jimin flood my mind.

I received a text message from Jungkook:
Hey, IT WORKED. I DID IT. I want to cry. Sungra and her sister Hana said it's okay for tomorrow! Tomorrow is okay right? Right? I told her that 2pm was okay, is it okay? ^^ >.<

I laughed aloud and messaged him back:
OF COURSE IT IS!

______________________

A/N-
HELLO EVERYBODY HI HOW ARE YOU ALL IM SO SORRY FOR BEING AWAY FOR SOO LONG, IM LAZY ANDIM BUSY SO IT WAS DIFFICULT.
Don't forget to vote and comment ^^
Thank you sooooooooooo muh for reading, I can't believe I have 21K! I love you guys, excuse any mistake I haven't proof read yet and I'm tired and I have school tomorrow.
Byeeeee
💜💜💜💜💜
04/10/15

GUYS IT'S A CHEESY CHAPTER I APOLOGIZE, IT'S GROSS, I CRINGED WHEN I WROTE IT AND ALSO, THE WHOLE BTS HIGHLIGHT TOUR AND TGM THING GOT ME VERY VERY VERY ANGRY.

SO ANGRY.
DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED.
BTS COMEBACK AT THE END OF OCTOBER- SOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED >.<

I think I'm going to wait for 1k votes before I update