Chapter 43 [ starting writing @ le gym]

That night I didn't sleep; I couldn't sleep.

When he walked out I crumbled down to the floor and just sat there, in amazement, lightly tracing the tip of my index finger along the surface of my lips.
Just staring at the door, thinking to myself "Did that really just happen?".

The fuzzy feeling on my lips never quite went away, neither did the wrenching feeling in my gut.
Eventually I managed to drag my self out of the living room and into the bathroom.
The bright burning red of my cheeks screamed back at me from my reflection. I took a deep breath and washed my face, then, finally- I smiled.

I smiled.

I kissed Park Jimin.

Park Jimin kissed me, and I was happy about it.

Catching a glimpse of my reflection, seeing how happy I looked, I splashed my face with water again; Trying to calm myself down. It was late, around 4am, and I knew for a fact that I wouldn't be able to sleep.
I also knew for a fact that I had no schedule tomorrow, I grabbed my pencil case and sat at my desk.

Without even knowing what I was going to draw, I started; letting my hands do as they please since my mind was preoccupied replaying Jimin's brief visit.

Over and over again.

From my point of view, no, from a birds eye view or from the side. It was like in a dream, where you're behaving as yourself but you aren't watching from your own eyes.
That's how it felt, like a dream.

I closed my eyes and focused on the memory; his warmth, his breath- his soft skin against mine.
Every time it replayed in my head, i felt a clenching in my chest; I couldn't breathe.

The following morning, I got up, feeling dishevelled and uneasy, but in the strangest way, at peace.
I hadn't noticed it but until last night, it had been as though I was holding in a sneeze, it was like this strange feeling of always missing something or eating a sandwich and not quite being satisfied because it was missing salt and pepper, but now- I could finally relax.

I made my way to the kitchen, listening to the rapid pitter-pattering of my feet against the cold wooden floor, I opened the fridge and frowned at the vacancy of each shelf. Milk. There was nothing but milk and eggs.
Grabbing the milk, and shutting the fridge behind me, I checked the Best Before print-
Of course, it was out of date. The eggs probably were too. Those were the two things I couldn't finish before leaving for the tour.
I exhaled and plopped myself onto the bed as I searched through my phone for nearby takeout.

The doorbell rang, presuming that it was my Mcdonals breakfast, I bolted to the door and opened it with a wide smile on my face.

"Someone's excited to see me!" Hoseok grinned as he examined me.
"Oh, sorry I thought it was my food." I said, with a huge smile still plastered across my face.
"Food? For breakfast? Sorry, I can come by later if you want." He smiled as he turned away.
"No no, it's fine, I ordered plenty." I grinned.

He walked in and sat at one of the desks, he showed me some of his lyrics that he was working on for one of his verses in next album.
Since their tour was over, and an era had ended, Bangtan were already a great deal done with the preparations of their next album.
"So, how have you been? How's life upstairs?" I asked as I handed back his notebook with a few corrections and a list of English words that rhymed with what he had used.
"I don't know, same old same old I guess- well, actually, now that I think about it, Yoongi has definitely been acting a bit strange lately. He's always been committed and hardworking, but for some reason he's spending even more time in his studio... but I don't think he's actually working, I suspect he's just on the internet all day. I don't know what's gotten into him..." he drifted off.
"And you? Is anything troubling you?"
"No... yes." He sighed.
I sat down next to him and waited for him to continue talking.
"I know my role, I have to be happy, and cheerful- and funny. But... I can't live up to it as much as I should- I feel like I have to work so hard now, and make sure my voice sounds better and my dance is better. It's stupid but, I don't know, I feel like every fan has a favourite but it's just never me. Even on Vapp, the comments, I read all the comments and it's all the other members..." he seemed much more depressed now.

"Hoseokie, of course you can't always be happy, no one expects that from you. You're talented, handsome, sweet, funny and hard working. We all love you, all the fans love you, trust me, I know- I'm a fan.."

"You are?" He smiled a little and looked back at me, I noticed he was slightly teary-eyed now.

I nodded and his smile grew a little.
"Can this fan give you a hug to help cheer you up?" I joked.
"Well, I'm not supposed to hug fans... but I guess I can make an exception." He replied and stood up.

I gave him a tight hug, he's precious, and he deserves to feel precious. "Thank you for existing Hoseok, there is so much love coming your way everyday, you just don't see it.."
"Thank you.." he sniffled.

The doorbell rang and my breakfast finally arrived- I ordered late so it wasn't a part of the breakfast menu.
I'm also a pig so I actually ordered two meals, two sides, one Mcflurry, and an apple pie.
"Here, this, cheer up." I held out the ice cream.
He took it out of my hand and started enjoying himself. He looked happy again.

"Hey can I ask you something else?" I interrupted our eating.
"Yeah, of course!" He grinned.
"Well, how was Jimin this morning?" I blurted out, trying to sound casual- obviously failing.
"Hmm.." he took another spoonful into his mouth and let it melt as he thought.
He swallowed, "He was swell, in fact, it's the best mood I've seen of his in a very long time.. he woke me up with a hug, he helped with the dishes, and left early to practice."

"Really!?" I excitedly asked, subconsciously touching my thumb to my lip- receiving light shivers thinking about it again.
"Yeah! Why?" He asked and paused for a moment, examining me.
"Perhaps.... Is it something to do with you?" He asked, leaning in, real ready for some juicy gossip.
"HAHGA noo, why would you think that?" I burst out in nervous laughter.
"Because he mentioned you this morning!"
"HE DID? WHAT DID HE SAY?"

I went overboard.

"AHA. You know why! It's got to do with you." He stated, triumphant.
"... so he didn't mention me?"
"No. Sorry, I was just- so, what is it? What did you do?"

I considered for a few seconds how it would go if I told him- how bad could it have been? Jimin said he wanted to go public- and this wasn't even public.

"So...?"
"Well." I smiled to myself, "He- I don't know it's weird to say it out loud and it was so out of the blue-"
Hoseok cut me off- "OMG YOU TWO FINALLY KISSED DIDN'T YOU???? OMG DOES MINJUN KNOW? SHE OWES ME MONEY NOW HAH." He burst out in joy, held onto me by my shoulders and started frantically shaking me.

I continued flailing about because of him, shocked with his reaction.
He hugged me and started swaying back and forth "I'm so happy I'm so happy yes finally~" he lazily giggled to himself.

"Uhh Hoseok... who doesn't know about Jimin and I? Did he tell all of you?!"
"HAH no. We just know, he doesn't know that we know, he knows about Minjun only- she's pretty obvious." He chuckled.

I groaned in frustration.
"Really?"
"Yus. Really." He sipped his drink.

We finished eating and continued chatting for a while, "What's everyone doing today?" I asked, hoping he'd tell me what Jimin would be doing- I mean, it was out, Hoseok knew about us, but it was still embarrassing.
"Let's see... Namjoon is going to film Problematic men again... Jungkook is at school, Jin is having a pamper day for himself, I'm about to head out to the studio to work on some new choreography ideas.... Yoongi he uh, I think he said he arranged to meet up with, what's her name, uhm, Hana. With Hana, he said he wanted to collaborate with her for one of his tracks. And Taetae is filming on set."

"Is that all?" I eagerly asked.
"Yeah."
"Are YOU sure?" I nudged.
"You're asking me to tell you Jimin's plans for today? I honestly don't know, he said he had to work on some stuff and that he wanted to borrow the studio at night." He shrugged.

The remainder of my day was spent sorting out the translation texts for Bangtan's tour DVD and photo book.

It was fun.
I guess.

After going out to buy some groceries to accompany my lonely spoilt milk my fridge, I came home to find that Jimin was outside my door.

It was weird, it hadn't been a long time since I saw him but just merely seeing him in front of me had made me uneasy- and excited.

He had a huge smile on his face, he looked exhausted but he was also glowing. Jimin's skin was fresh and dewy, and his hair was messy and slightly wet. He inched towards me and grinned as he tilted his head to the side, to be cute and somewhat playful. "Helloooo~" he sang before hugging me, his arms pulling me in closer to him.

"Hey." I quietly replied as I burrowed myself into his collarbone, smiling like an idiot, taking in his scent.

I tried pulling away, our hug had passed the legal time limit of greeting hugs- and it wasn't a formal occasion? So, naturally I began pulling away, but to my surprise, Jimin pulled me closer and held on to me tighter.
"Don't go, not yet. I'm happy." He sighed.

JIMIN'S POINT OF VIEW:

I sighed and focused on the feeling of her smile against me, it was a weird tingly feeling because it was near my ticklish neck.
But I enjoyed it.

I enjoyed having her close to me.

Last night I had made a decision to finally do it. I didn't regret it at all, not one bit.
It was romantically spontaneous and very overdue- well, by my Calendar anyway.

Eventually I let go of her, and held onto her hand instead.

In the strangest way, I just wanted to have my hand on her, or my skin against hers whenever I saw her.
Not in a perverted or dirty way, in the sense that I always wanted to be able to feel her warmth, her breath.
It was like a way of confirming her existence, making sure she wouldn't just disappear or fly away like some butterfly.

Sena opened her front door, and we advanced towards the kitchen; hand in hand. My other hand, already carrying the groceries that she had bought.

We started putting away her shopping together as we made small talk, asking each other what we ate, if we slept well, what we were planning on doing today.
Out of the blue she paused and turned to look at me, she took a moment before finally talking.
I examined the green-hazel of her eyes and the little specks of light reflecting off of them.
"Jimin." she spoke, sounding nervous.
I slightly nodded, signalling for her to continue.
"That..." she held her breathe, "last night th-the kiss?" She stuttered.
Suddenly being reminded of it (although I never stopped thinking about it) my lips curled upwards.
"Yes?"
"How was it? For you I mean?" She scrunched her lips and slightly lowered her eyebrows.
"Depends, how was it for you?" I smoothly responded.
"I enjoyed it. I was nervous, i felt like my stomach was stuck in my throat... Anyway, what I was trying to say was thank you. It made me happy. I enjoyed it. I hope you did too, did you?" She asked as she slightly tilted her face away from me and touched her index finger to her bottom lip.

After finding out that it made her happy, my heart smiled with me.

I slowly leaned in and kissed her on the forehead.
"Me too. Thank you for being with me. You make me happy."

"One more question, is that a thing now?" She said in an awkward high pitched tone, "I mean it messed me up pretty bad... and as much as I enjoyed it, I don't want to get desensitised to kissing you. I mean-"
"I get what you mean, it was thrilling for you too, wasn't it? The moment just before the kiss that seemed to last forever, the feeling of your whole body somewhat rejoicing at the long anticipated kiss... I understand that. We'll leave it for special occasions? No... that's not frequent enough. This is difficult. How about we take turns? That way it would be a surprise each time? So I can't make a move now because it's your turn? This sounds so weird..." I found myself lost in thought, imagining Sena and I in our late 70s, sitting on the sofa with me still waiting for our second kiss.

"Actually, that sounds like a fun idea..." she returned to her carefree self, "my turnnnnn" she sang aloud as she packed away the last of her shopping.

Just as I was about to give her a back hug, her phone rang, and she was long out of the kitchen.
Sena held up her finger, to tell me to wait a minute as she picked up.

She walked into her bedroom and came back a few minutes later with a confused and sad expression.

"What's up?" Concerned, I asked.
"I think I need to make a trip to Turkey to sort a few things out.."
Instantly my heart sank, how long was she going to be gone?
Why? Did she have a husband I didn't know about? Or an arranged marriage?
"Why?" I asked, anxious to hear her reply.
"I'll explain in a second, I'm not too sure."

-------------

[havent proof read, feel free to point out misfskes for me to fix ty byee]

Hello it's almost 1am I am on my period and my body hates me

GUYS,GUYS. RELLY THO? 100K THO? ARE YALL SHITTING ME WAGFCCCC XHOWW HOW IM SO HAPPY TY SO MUHH ILY ILY 💜💜💜💜💜👏👏💕💕💕💕💕🎊🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉💜💜💜

I'm very sorry for being so fucking late with this update.
My life has been school, study until 5:30, go home, food coma, sit and weep in pain of food coma, check notifications and watch jknews.

And it's just
I have not mental energy left in my spare time anymore
Any spare time I have can only be spent doing boring or mindless things.
I'm sorry.
The plot has progressed A LOT.
And well, Idk I might add bits, but let's say the story is 80% complete?

Thank you so much for reading, I reallly hope you have a wonderful day, thank you for supporting my story. 💕💕💕

It's 7am I just woke up to pee and I realised that this chapter is very boring mb

181116