Today started out awful and it just got worse.  My depressive episode just got so much worse today, it went downhill throughout the entire day until I felt like I was dragging myself through the day.  I just, ugh, I cant even describe it.  I'm so tired and angry at everything and myself. 

I asked him if today would be a good day to talk and he said he'd be busy but could talk next week.

I didn't know how I could make it that long, so at the time I was just thinking if I could just get a hug.  Just a simple thing, that's all I desperately wanted, and maybe that could get me through until I could talk to him.

Well I actually wasn't thinking because that was a STUPID ASS IDEA.

But I DID IT ANYWAY.

and now I definitely know he has caught onto my feelings for him because when I went down to his classroom to ask, he slightly tilted his head in my direction, and gave me a suspicious side glance-

"........I don't think that would be appropriate."

YEAH MY STUPID ASS KNOWS THAT BUT WENT AND DID IT ANYWAY.

I'm so dumb.

I don't want to go to school tomorrow.

I don't know how I'll make it through til next week.