Every day is spent just ignoring eachother's existence.

It's so strange.

I know he's there, but I pretend he's not.

He knows I'm there, but he pretends I'm not.

I think my friends have gotten tired of me externalizing all this, and dumping all my crap on them.

So I'll start trying to just push all my feelings down, pretend they don't exist, and pretend I'm ok.

But, that takes energy.

And I'm really really tired.

Not like, i-need-more-sleep kind of tired.

But tired like getting-up-everyday-and-doing-things-is-exhausting kind of tired.

Just tired.

I don't want to kill myself, but lately I've been wishing I'll just go to sleep and never wake up.

Nonono never mind, that's just a brief thought.  I still have people who care about me.

They still care.

They care.