HE WAS OBSESSED.

He caught it in the late stages, where his body was uncontrolled and weak. Him, having no use after killing his older brother, his family, could only deal with the aftermath of the pain. Having to embrace it, he dealt with it, alongside someone else.

Constant nightmares; she was there for him. They didn't speak, because she couldn't. He had rendered her throat useless and her body was a mangled mess. He hated himself for it, yet trudged on with living, if you could even call it that. He was a mindless being who survived off a beating heart.

He was confused on if she was living or not, because for her, everything was impossible. His brain and heart never agreed so in the end, a choice was never made and the subject was dropped completely. Dealing with the constant nightmares and memories, he merely wished for the love he couldn't see.

Waking up in a pink bed, he looked around the apartment. Clock reading twelve, he laid there. A warm, sticky liquid ran down his hands. Figuring he had clawed himself again in the night, he payed no mind to the crimson color and got up, walking into her bathroom.

Assuming she was at the therapist, doctors appointment, whatever varied in her schedule, he turned on the faucet and allowed the cool water to hit his face, wishing every time he did this a bad memory would be forgotten. Seeing her bloodied face in the tub, he closed his eyes, breathing heavily.

It's not real, he convinced himself. He felt like a mess, a monstrosity. Feeling a sharp pain in his back, he focused on other things, wishing the demon wouldn't return so suddenly. He has had the sudden jolts of demonization under control, but lately, his mind was foggy and clogged with too much to notice.

The door shut and he stood up from leaning against the bathroom cabinet, walking out to the main area where all the rooms connected. Seeing the girl with her crutches, he smiled a bit, glad to know she was starting to attempt to walk again. Usually, she'd be in a wheelchair.

Waving at her, she looked up, a small smile spreading across her face. Scars laid gently on her cheeks where she had been cut, almost representing a maniac's grin. Flinching at memories, he helped her to the bed where she sat and closed her eyes.

He moved and tucked her in, knowing a nurse would come later to check up on her. Lazily grinning up at him, she tugged on her gingerbread pajamas, trying to say something but not being able to talk. He looked at her and tried to figure out what her actions meant, thoroughly confused.

Pointing to the gingerbread, she opened her mouth and tried to represent eating, which meant she was likely hungry. Knowing from how early her appointments were, she had skipped breakfast so he had attempted to create pancakes. While it might have damaged her kitchen, the food was made and she would force him to clean the destruction area later.

Leaving the apartment complex, he wanted to go to the guild but was scared to. They would consider him a monster, and he really only could trust the blonde at this point for helping him overcome the trauma of killing half of his guild members, his family.

Not to mention his older brothers death, memories of a sweet family and how the blood of someone he loved was permanently engraved on his hands forever. Growling and shaking his head, he stormed off to his old cottage, knowing very well that it had been a good two months since he had been here.

Looking at the destroyed home, he sat on a log. He had caused his best friend mental and physical damage, and he hated himself for it. Hearing leaves rustle behind him, he ignored it, lost in his thoughts. There was a shifting next to him and he looked over, a scarlet sitting down with fall attire on.

Together, the two watched the falling leaves, neither saying a word. She looked over at him, one eye missing. He cringed, knowing it was his fault. "Don't beat yourself up over it." Was all she said before standing up, looking down to the ground and leaving him alone once again.

That's all he'll ever be: alone. He was pained to know this, but it was the truth and the truth hurt. Trying to take the scarlet's advice, he encouraged himself to at least stop by the guild. His outgoing personality changed to one of an introvert, but it wasn't his fault.

People scared him. He was petrified of hurting them, so he stayed away. The walk to the guild was silent as people stared, and he just assumed one of his demon features were showing. Concentrating, he felt a searing pain all over his body and immediately knew the scales were disappearing.

Stopping outside the guild doors, he contemplated going in or not. Scenes flashed through his mind and he panicked, quickly walking away. Another time, he promised. Returning to the apartment he opened the door to find her, sitting up on the bed, doing breathing practices with a nurse who's name he could never remember.

She looked over and her eyes lit up, glad to see the person she viewed as best friend. The nurse scolded her for stopping and she then picked up the pace, wanting to move on and get the daily appointments over with. She was broken beyond repair, but they could fix her with some cracks showing.

Biting his lip, he sat down next to her, holding her hand with the pink guild mark. Leaning into him, she breathed steadily, the nurse keeping track and writing down changes. She had lung damage from the battle, and he tried to not think about how he caused those injuries.

Finishing, the nurse removed the breathing mask, and brought out something he knew she hated; the computer program. She had to type in it for question time since she couldn't talk. The nurse looked at her and asked, "Who caused you those injuries?"

His world stopped, and she looked at him with terror. His breathing quickened and he suddenly felt like he needed the breathing test, for his was erratic and short. Running into the bathroom, he slammed the door and locked it, slamming against the wall. Sliding down, his head twisted and hands guiding down the wall.

He hated himself. There was no way she could answer differently then saying his name. Saying a monster's name. Opening up the cabinet he looked for a sharp utensil, wanting to know how she felt on pain measures. He grabbed the sewing needle and stabbed him arm, dragging it up and creating a long cut.

He loved it. He loved the pain, the destruction; all of it. Door breaking down the nurse came in and helped him out, laying him down on the bed. She looked at him with worry, lifeless eyes staring into hers. "You'll be okay..." The nurse rubbed his forehead with a damp cloth, soothingly telling him it'll be alright.

Believing her words, he closed his eyes in relief. "It'll be better in the morning." The nurse said as his world turned to darkness and nightmares would encase him once again.

When waking up, he noticed a scenery change. Looking around, he was in a large room. While examining, someone had entered. She came in with a doctor, sitting down next to him. He looked at her, confused. "Miss Bellatrix believed for you and your friend to share therapy sessions." He cleared his throat, nervous.

Shaking his head no, he wished to live, not be interrogated about his life and how everything was sunshine and rainbows. They would never understand the pain of murdering people you loved. How he desperately wanted someone to relate to, it would never happen because nobody had a story as brutal as his.

"How have you been feeling these past few days?" The therapist looked at him, searching for an answer. He just stared, imagining the times when he was happy and carefree. She looked over and waved her hand as to pass him off, knowing he didn't want to answer.

The therapist nodded and wrote something down, before continuing on with pointless questions. He had zoned out, not listening to the supposedly helpful words. They were all junk to him and he would rather face his nightmares than listen to the person in front of him.

Finally being excused, the two walked out together, somebody waiting for them. The girl had long white colored hair, a red barmaid's dress hugging her body. Her voice was soft and fragile, and he was scared it would break when she talked. "Are you okay?"

Everyone had seemed to ask that question, and he was sick of it. Both of them nodding, the barmaid watched them walk off, both in worlds of their own. The event had changed the two, but for the worse or the better was unknown. As the night sky rose and the sun set, the white haired girl had only wished for a happy ending.

The same routine followed for every appointment, and he grew to understand why she disliked them so much. They were boring and repetitive, repeating the same things over and over to get the point across. He just wanted to get better but the therapy was making him worse and all he wanted was to be alone.

She was getting better, though, and that was one positive side to the situation. Her breathing was back to normal after lung surgery and she was starting to form small words. She limped while walking and overall had improved from the small, scared girl on the battlefield.

His mind was growing more and more distant as he felt like an animal, acting purely on instinct. He couldn't help but feel cornered and the only way out was eliminating the trappers, but that would cause him to lose his sanity and he was gripping onto it by a thread.

She had taken notice and decided to cheer him up, Christmas being a few days away. Love bloomed in the air as mistletoes were everywhere, the streets blanketed with snow and lights hanging on street poles. They had set up the tree and hung ornaments, finally accepting the blue exceed back into their lives.

He could trust one person and a cat now, which was a major improvement. His feelings were unknown but whatever he felt was mushy and a change from the rabid animal he had been the past few days. Wrapping presents, she looked at him. "This," she sounded out slowly, "is fun."

He smiled and high-fived her, as her speaking abilities were showing and she laughed, grinning. Feeling accomplished, the three of them finished wrapping the gifts, mostly from him to her. "What do you want to do today?" His voice was hoarse, from not talking in so long.

She clapped her hands and pointed out the window, squealing at the shops. He wasn't surprised, knowing she was a shop-a-holic and not being out for so long had affected her schedule. Nodding, he asked her if she needed help getting dressed and she shook her head, trying to become more independent.

Finishing dressing, in the end he had to help her put on her shoes. She smiled, ready to shop. Hoping his abilities wouldn't show and screw up the fun evening planned, they headed out to shop for Christmas clothes. Grabbing him and pulling him to different sections of stores, she tried to convince him try on a girl's dress.

Laughter rang through the shop, and he was on edge. The laughter reminded him of all the deaths, and he tried to clear his mind. Distracting himself, he pulled her into the market. She immediately spotted Christmas Oreo's and dragged him in different directions, wanting to eat and buy everything.

"I'm so," she almost stuttered, but continued with excitement, "happy!" He smiled, glad that she was enjoying herself. Remembering that the therapist was forcing him to interact with guild mates tomorrow his mood deflated, but he tried to stay cheery for his best friend.

They continued shopping throughout the night, happily engrossed in meaningless conversations that meant the world to the both of them.

Opening the guild doors, he cowered, scared of the reactions. Looking up and around, cheers of joy erupted from the guild hall. Some stayed quiet in fear and anger, but most accepted him. Being pulled in the crowd, he was burning, but pushed aside his fears and pains, trying to enjoy the reunion.

"This is the best Christmas gift ever!" Someone sobbed dramatically, and he furrowed his brows. If only they knew he wasn't here on his own will, and was growing angrier by the second. He tried to calm himself, scared of everyone around him.

"Flame brain." A voice growled, an icy fist coming straight for his face. He barely had time to dodge as someone pulled the naked male back, almost falling over. He looked behind the stripper to see her, letting go and wiping herself off. She smiled at the thought of protecting him, glad to be useful.

"Are you hu--," Her sentence was cut short as she fell back, injured. He looked at the ice devil slayer, who had fully transformed to his power. He looked down to see ice just at the edge of her neck, enough to knock out but not enough to kill. A searing pain once again erupted all over his body, knowing he was on the verge of transforming.

Hoping for someone to hold him back, the raven charged, anger surging through his veins. He side stepped, not wanting to fight out of the fear he would lose control and kill a comrade. The scarlet interfered and punched the attacker, looking at the demon with concern.

"Lucy will be fine." Was all she said before picking up the unconscious bodies and walking to the infirmary, disappointed in the raven and worried for the recovering blonde. He watched on, still grieving.

Christmas Day. He was excited yet nervous, because she and him were almost recovered from the attack and trauma. She acted like a two year old kid, squealing and hopping around the small apartment, trying to wake him up but failing. She sighed and blew in his ear, him jumping up and tensing.

She laughed, and he pouted. Getting up, they opened present under the tree, glad to be alive. They had changed from the beginning of the end, a sweet friendship. Sharing love under a tree of light, he leaned in slowly, kissing her passionately,

Having waited to be worthy to do this, she kissed back, fireworks in her vision. Smiling at each other as they had pulled back, they embraced and were glad to be free of the poisonous mess everything had been up to this point.

"Te amo, Lucy."

"Te amo, Natsu."