l a n c e ' s m e m o r i e s ~ p t . 2

I study Lance closely as I continue, "It was one of those nights when Ma and Pa left to go to battle and left me with Myst and Ralf to watch you while they were gone. When you realized Ma had left, you said that I was not Ma and then told me to stay away,"

I pause, "You turn to run from me, which causes all of us to then chase after you, only to chase you outside to the dark forest where it became very difficult to see you. At first, I didn't see you and thought I had lost you already. And I really believed you hated me. So I forced myself forward as to find you quickly because at the edge of that forest is the cliff that you would not be able to see in the dark,"

Lance watches me intently, no emotions showing on his face as he listens, "I blamed myself. I thought I had failed at being your big brother. I felt the need to scream it all out of me and my feet carried me forward as I could not get myself to go without it. I remember tears starting to blur my vision as my magic was beginning to show as I held no real control yet. The confusion I was feeling was erupting my magic without my control,"

Lance tilts his head in curiosity as he studies me, his mouth opening slightly, "When I noticed my magic was fully out, I stopped in my tracks, suddenly confused as to why. I then realized it was because of all of the thoughts I was having was of finding you. That was what was driving me and my magic to become active,"

I pause, watching his responses closely, "I realized I had yet to find you and we were getting very close to where the cliff was,"

I see something beginning to swirl around in his eyes as I continue, "I was so afraid I was too late. But then I hear your voice tell me to stay away. I see you nearby as Myst rushes past me, trying to get you to calm down. So, I chase after her and your whimpering only to see your silhouette stumble towards the cliff's edge,"

Lance's eyes widen a bit as he studies me and my expressions, "As you begin to tumble down, I feel like time slows down as I rush over to save you. I see your fear-filled eyes widen as you fall head first. Myst calls your name and tries to reach for you and I find myself doing the same. But come to find out, I wasn't reaching for you at all,"

Lance's face scrunches up curiously, waiting for me to continue, "I expected you to keep falling away from me and hit the ground far below... but you don't. Instead, something has stopped you from falling. Your whimpering stops abruptly. I get to you and scoop you up, holding you close hoping the tears would end. But they don't,"

I pause, "You cower from me when you realize I was the one holding you. At least that's what I thought. But when I follow your fear-filled eyes, I found they were locked onto the edge where you were just falling from to find my magic was still visible. It had created a blanket that caught you from falling like a tarp and it was still there. I find your eyes moving between me, my hands and that tarp-like sheet of magic and realized my magic had not went away after I saved you,"

Something emerges within his eyes, "Your magic—"

I nod and smile at him, "Correct. You were only afraid of my magic itself and not me,"

"O—Oh... so... that's why you..."

I nod again, "That's why I started to suppress all of my emotions and my magic when you were near because when you sensed it you became afraid,"

"Whoa, I... I had no idea, brother,"

I keep my smile up, "I thought you were afraid of me because you were not afraid of Ma. So I blamed myself still. And that was what drove me to become stronger. As to control my magic like Ma, so you would not fear me anymore. Then I found you were afraid of my magic within me and not me myself. You could sense it until I held full control over it,"

Lance smiles back at me. I can feel those older memories working their own magic, creating a deeper bond between us that could not be forged by any other means. I suddenly remember a trick I want to try out that I read in Ma's notebook and tomes one day while I was taking a break from training. Maybe Lance will let me try it with him to show him something special. To let him see the scene for himself, through my eyes.

I walk closer to him and he watches me intently, "I can send you a memory with the touch of a finger, brother,"

His eyes widen again slightly, "R—Really?"

I nod, raise my hand and my magic is already encompassing it, "Want to see?"

He hesitates for a short moment but nods once anyway, "Y—Yes, I would,"

I gently touch his shoulder with my hand and I close my eyes, forming the memory and preparing it to be sent to him, "Close your eyes and wait for me to send you the memory,"

I focus to calm the emotions swirling around within me. I force myself to compress anything I am feeling, and I slowly meditate into a state of Zen where I feel nothing. As I focus to shun out everything around me, I feel my brother leave my lap. I want him to stay with me. I want him to see me like he sees Mama and Papa. But I let him go.

Blackness.

Silence.

I welcome the void that consumes when I meditate. I slowly feel every worry I just was bottling up within me release and flow away from me. I hear silence surround me like a blanket in the winter and I see nothing but the void like the night sky without any shining stars.

I feel like I sit here for what feels like centuries before I feel a sensation that pulls me out of my meditation. I feel small hands tugging at my sleeve. The void begins to spin away, and light starts to trickle through. I start to feel the hard floor beneath me and the tugging is getting more apparent. It feels like it is urgent and that I must know what is wrong right away.

So, I do.

I snap open my eyes and look down to find my baby brother looking up at me with a bit of wetness in his purple eyes. He locks onto my own for a moment and a mixture of emotions appear in them.

Is he still afraid? He must not be. It must have worked. My magic is gone.

I focus on keeping my emotionless state apparent and keep my gaze on his. I hope he will not fear me if I don't show any emotion at all. Maybe that is how it must be. Because when I do show emotion, he always looks at me with fear in his eyes.

I watch my brother slowly crawl into my lap where he was before, and he snuggles up against me. He does not stop me when I hold him, and he stays still, watching the front door. We sit in silence for what feels like hours.

But I do not dislike the silence. Not one bit.

I welcome it.

Because it allows my brother to not fear me.

And nothing matters more to me in this world than my brother.

When I finish sending the memory, I move my hand away and drop it back to my side, opening my eyes once again. Lance opens his and his smile returns.

"Did you see it?"

He nods, "I did. Thanks for showing me that memory, Merric. It means more to see it from you than have you explain it to me,"

"That memory means a lot to me. I am glad I was able to show it to you as well instead of telling you about it. And that's all I got. Those were the memories of yours I was curious about all of this time,"

Lance nods, "I see. I will cherish them,"

"Did that spell scare you? Did it help you feel more comfortable around me and my magic?"

Lance shakes his head, "Actually, I was a bit nervous but when I realized all you were doing was sharing a memory with me through touch, it didn't scare me anymore. I appreciate what you do for me, Merric,"

I smile, "Good! I was hoping to help you feel more comfortable. Hey, let's go find and annoy Pa,"

Lance chuckles loudly, "Oh, I thought you would never ask!"