Bea Miller
••• to the grave •••

i was feeling empty, a feeling with uncertainty

i couldn't be left inside a room with me

now i believe running only gets you where you see

•••••

Note: please don't actually go around smacking people's necks to try and knock them out. You might get a restraining order.

The perfect man exists and his name is Lloyd Garmadon.

He smiled at me from across the picnic blanket, his blond hair shifting in the gentle breeze. The long, dry grass around us swayed in time and the sky had never looked so blue. So blue, I felt as if I could swim in it. Cicadas chirped from the forest in the distance.
No swords, no ninja gi, no weird prophecy. No people wanting him dead breathing down our necks.

It was just us, in this field that seemed to extend for as far as the eye can see. We were sat under a large maple tree, sheltered from the blistering sun. Drops of gold still dappled Lloyd's face as he closed his eyes and gently inhaled the dry smell of summer.
"This is perfect," he murmured, green eyes fluttering open and landing on me with a look that made me melt. I smiled dopily back, thoroughly entranced by the boy in front of me.
"It is," I agreed in a soft voice, twisting a piece of wheat between my fingers. Birds chirped in the branches above. Civilisation couldn't be seen for miles.

He grinned, his face pulling up into a perfect, handsome smile that made my heart spin. He crawled forward, brushing aside the bunch of discarded board games that had already been played through.
His hand lifted up to pleat through my hair and I leant into his touch, my eyes closing in bliss.
This was perfect. I never wanted it to end.
"Y/n?" Lloyd whispered. I hummed in response as he pressed his lips between my brows. "I need to ask you something..."
Lloyd pulled back slowly, lips brushing down the bridge of my nose as he parted. I shuddered at the visceral, feathery feeling of it and found myself being pulled forward with him, chasing his touch.

"Yeah?" I asked quietly, voice as light as the wind.
"Promise you'll tell me the truth?" his voice was as gentle as soft leather. It brushed down my spine and I shivered, the mere sound of it sending my stomach into spirals.
"Of course," my breathy reply was quick as my eyes softly closed. I didn't need to think too hard on it; I'll always tell Lloyd the truth.
His fingertips slid up my arm and my breath hitched at the delicate action. He was handling me like porcelain. It made me melt before him, putty in his hands. He could mould me into whatever shape he wanted and I'd have no qualms.

"Have you gone home?" he asked.
My brow scrunched a little in confusion. "Huh?"
Lloyd suddenly gripped my shoulders. My eyes snapped open. His face looked pale, clammy. His hair was black.
"Y/n!" Go home!" he screamed. The gentle breeze had picked up into a battering gale, throwing me against the tree.
"Lloyd!" I reached out for him, but the wind was pulling him away from me. "Please!"
"Forget about me!" Lloyd yelled over the howling wind. Blood had started dribbling from his eyes. The sun turned cold, frigid. The sky was covered by storm clouds.
"Lloyd!" I tried to peel myself off from the tree but the wind had simply plucked me from the ground and I was tossing, tumbling, being viscously thrown through the sky.

A hand caught my arm in an iron grip. I glanced up.
Possessed Lloyd held a wicked smirk on his face.
"Hello, sunshine," hissed Morro as the wind suddenly died right down to nothing. He released my arm and I was falling, falling, falli-

I inhaled sharply as I woke, eyes blinking blearily in confusion as I stared at the ceiling. My head was pounding but bright remnants of the dream still clung stubbornly to my conscious. The heat, the smell, the little kisses-
Then something dark happened but I couldn't remember what.
The bright, false memories were then pulled from me, slipping through my fingers.
The ugliness of reality began to sink in.

"You're glowing again," said a voice. I groaned, dropping my arms over my head.
"What happened? I slurred, pulling myself up with an exhale. I held my pounding forehead with an uncomfortable grimace.
"You were starting to panic so I had to knock you out," Garmadon announced gravely. He sent me reassuring look when I looked at him with a panicked expression. "Don't worry, it wasn't lethal. Just a quick tap to your stomach nine and you were out."
I stared at him blankly. "My huh?"
"Your pressure point here," he elaborated, pointing to a spot adjacent from his Adam's apple. "Your mother dropped off a bag for you a few hours ago."
"Oh," I said quietly, standing on shaky legs. It was already dark. "A- any news on the others?"

Garmadon's face grew more grim. I felt something icy slide down my spine.
"What happened?" I asked nervously. Also, what was I panicking about before?
"They got the scroll, but Cole..." he trailed off. My face grew slack with shock.
"Don't tell me-"
"He was turned into a ghost," Garmadon cut me off with a grave voice before turning away and muttering to himself. "Can't believe Ronin was right."
"I'm right here," a second voice announced from the shadows. I glanced over at the mercenary, who was slouched backwards on a chair, arms crossed over the back.
"I was aware," Garmadon retorted dryly. Ronin scoffed, rolling his eyes before turning back to me.
"How you feeling, sweetheart?"

"Don't call me that," I murmured but couldn't even find the energy to be pissed off with the nickname he acquired. "My head's killing me."
"Oh, I've got the perfect thing for that-" Ronin announced before pulling out a whisky cap from his pouch.
"Ronin!" Garmadon barked warningly.
"I'm underaged!" I squeaked at the same time, palms raised. Ronin stared at us blankly before giving a hearty shrug.
"More for me," he declared nonchalantly, taking a swig.
"How's Cole taking it?" I asked, turning back to Garmadon with worried eyes. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in stress.
"Not particularly well," he huffed exhaustedly. "But we can hardly blame him."

I shook my head, shivering, the night breeze blowing through the broken front doors. Most of the shop had been cleaned up save for the larger jobs, which would probably be tackled when there weren't more pressing matters to attend to.
"Your bag's in the hallway," Garmadon said. Ronin hung his head back and began to snore. "Feel free to take a shower. The one in the Bounty isn't nearly as nice and this will be the last night here before we launch tomorrow morning."
"We're leaving?" I asked, picking up my bag and turning back to Lloyd's dad. "Do we have the next clue?"
"Misako and Zane are working on it as we speak," he said wearily. "It won't be long."
"Right and while they're doing that," Ronin chimed in, apparently not asleep and was just being rude. "You can tell us about this 'Simon' fella."

My bag dropped to the ground. Oh, my god. Simon. He was the one who summoned Morro. He's the one who did this to Lloyd.
"Ronin," Garmadon growled but was ignored.
"Wow, girlie," Ronin chuckled. "That look of yours could curdle milk."
"I'm going to kill him," I snarled, clenching my fists as my vision grew red with rage.
Ronin laughed heartily, raising his whisky cap to the roof in celebration.
"I have no idea who the fuck this dude is, but I'm already saying his prayers," he snickered, lowering his arm and shaking his head in amusement. "Damn. Murderous Y/n is so much more fun than panicky Y/n."
Garmadon rested a hand on my shoulder.
"Do not let your anger blind you," he reminded, his soothing voice relaxing me. My fists unclenched. "We will talk more over this in the morning. Until then, have a shower and get some rest."

His hand slid from my shoulder as he walked off, looking a thousand years older and a million times more weary.
"The real fight has barely begun," he gravely announced, the tone of his voice making apprehension and fear bolt through me.
Ronin stared after him as he left, off to find the others, probably. He scoffed, settling back in his chair.
"What a dramatic old codger."
"Careful," I hummed pleasantly but warningly. "That's my boyfriend's father."
Ronin's dry gaze jumped to me. He crossed his arms over the back of the seat again, whisky cap dangling from his fingertips.
"Didn't you just deny that?" he said blandly. I picked up my bag and shrugged a shoulder.

"Maybe I changed my mind?" I chirped merrily. Ronin dropped his chin onto his arm and grinned.
"You're planning a murder in the pretty little of head of yours, aren't'cha?" he chuckled. I sent him a smug smirk.
"My back up plans have back up plans," I announced airily. Ronin slapped his knee and laughed loudly, leaning back in the seat.
"Ah, kid," he breathed, still shaking with mirth. "You're really growing on me, ya know that?"
I beamed, straightening proudly. Ronin's laughter slowly petered out.
"Alright, go to bed, ya menace," he ordered. "Before your boyfriend's father wrings my neck."
I rolled my eyes but did as told.
"Good night," I said, walking deeper into the shop.

"Night, kid."

🍃🍂🍁🍂🍃

It was an early rise the next morning but my rest was fitful. I kept waking from nightmares and the smallest gusts of wind that would make Steep Wisdom creak.

I stumbled upright with a sigh, accidentally kicking the bag mum had packed for me. Groaning, I went to bend down and stuff the spilled clothes bag into the bag before a smidge of green caught my gaze.
She packed me Lloyd's hoody.
My throat grew thick in record time as I gingerly pulled the item out, fingers brushing over the material. It still smelled of him.
"Dammit," I shakily whispered to myself as tears pricked my eyes. I told myself I wasn't going to cry again, yet there I was, easily being reduced to tears.
I put the hoody down and wiped my face. My eyes were already bloodshot from my terrible sleep but there was nothing I could do about that.

I sat back on my haunches, staring at the hoody with a heavy gaze. The morning sun filtered through the window. It made everything a rosy gold.
"Tell me what I need to do to get him back," I whispered to no one, to anyone, to everyone. Just in case fate was listening. Perhaps it would be nice and give me Lloyd back.
If somebody was listening, they didn't reply. I dropped my head and closed my tired eyes. I was so exhausted.
Gentle noise flooded down from the kitchen, urging me to join them. That, and my grumbly stomach.
I stood, bringing the hoody up with me. I stared hard at the item in my hands before slowly slipping it on.

Ducking my chin into the hood, I closed my eyes and breathed in the achingly familiar aroma of springtime. Wet grass and sunshowers. Bumblebees and flowers.
Tears settled in the cotton.
A knock on the doorframe jolted me from my little moment and I dropped the hood from my fingers, turning. Jay was in his pyjamas at the entrance. His gaze kept flickering to the hoody.
"H- hey..." he said quietly.
"Hey," I whispered. He gave up, watery blue eyes settling heavily on the hoody.
"We'll get him back," Jay murmured, hand gripping hard on the doorframe. "We have to... 'cause I dunno what we'll do if we don't."
That hit something within me and it felt as if I was winded without actually being hit.
I swallowed, bunching the long sleeves in my fists.
"We're leaving in twenty," Jay said, almost silently. He left. I stared at the spot where he was standing for a few, long seconds before finally gathering my wits and setting off after him.

The kitchen was a scene of silent chaos. Misako was slumped over the table, dead asleep with a blanket draped over her. Garmadon was looking out the window silently, a cup of tea in hand. Zane was still flicking through the pile of books, looking as awake as ever.
"Good morning, Y/n," he greeted pleasantly.
"Morning, Zane. Did you sleep?" I asked, leaning over his shoulder to have a peek at what he was quickly scanning with his eyes.
"I did not."
"Aren't you tired?"
"Nindroids do not need to sleep," he hummed, flicking the page. I frowned in confusion, glancing at the side of his face.
"Nindroid?"
Zane lifted his gaze to me. "Yes. I am a robot."
I stared at him for a prolonged beat, blankly. My mind was blank. Everything was blank.
"I need coffee," I slurred, blinking my tired eyes lethargically as I turned away from him and Misako. Nya was cooking something delicious on the stove top, Kai bustling around beside her. Jay was sat dejectedly at the table and Wu was silently reading through some scrolls.

I'd never seen everybody so quiet. Cole was nowhere to be seen.

"Waddup, assholes?" Ronin slapped his hands together as he entered the room, brightly grinning. "Let's go kick some ghostie behinds."
I glanced up at him from where I was switching the kettle on to reheat the water inside. Ronin frowned at the lack of energy, grumbling something under his breath as he snagged a piece of bacon from the sizzling pan. It was most likely insulting. He leant back against the wall and nodded at me.
"Have you told them about Simon yet?" he asked.
Jay glanced up. "Who's Simon?"
"I guess not," Ronin grunted, pulling himself up from the wall and dropping his weight onto the table. "Apparently, he's the guy who summoned Morro."

Nya dropped the wooden ladle. It clattered onto the the ground in shock as she whirled around, one of many to stare at me with wide eyes.
"You know who summoned him?" Kai exclaimed loudly. My hand dropped to my side.
"I... I think so," I murmured, shifting uncomfortably. "I don't have any hard proof..."
"But it is a lead," Zane said sternly as he stood, approaching me and gently guiding us to sit. "What can you tell us of Simon?"
I stared at his blue eyes, warm despite the icy colour. My gaze dropped to the table top and I twisted my fingers together on my lap in agitation.
"Before Lloyd got..." I inhaled sharply, staring at a wayward crumb hard. "... possessed, Simon came over to my house that morning. See he- he's my cousin..."
I recounted his visit, matching word for word. It wasn't hard to remember, since it'd been haunting my every waking moment. I told them of his threats, of his 'wake the dead' line. I told them of how Lloyd and I felt the shift in the wind that morning on the Bounty.

Kai slumped back in his seat, a disbelieving expression on his face.
"We just need to get that book away from Simon and send the ghosts back to the departed realm," Wu announced, face weary. "Unfortunately, that is easier said than done. Nya, you told me that water sends them back?"
She nodded. "It makes them go... poof."
"Good," Garmadon sighed. "The more we know about how to defeat the ghosts, the better our chances. Between the deepstone aeroblades and water, I think we may pose a mighty foe."
"I'll contact Skylor to look into Simon," Kai chimed in. "That way we've got two teams."

Breakfast was served. We ate quickly.
Before long, we were getting ready to board the Bounty, which had been speedily repaired, though it wasn't the prettiest of jobs.
"We mustn't let Cole's situation shatter the team's resolve," Garmadon announced as he dropped a duffel bag by his feet. "We haven't lost, we are still in this race. We are a day behind Morro so that means you ninja can not have the luxury of slacking."
Jay made a sound of exasperation.
"Garmadon is right," Wu agreed with a nod, though his eyes looked tired and weary. "No time to rest, you must get changed into your new gis and learn Airjitzu as quick as you can. Come, ninja, we'll board the Bounty and get her ready for air. Speaking of; Y/n, can you get Cole?"

I stiffened. "Sh- shouldn't someone else-?"
But the others had already set off to get the Bounty ready for air.
I inhaled shakily, feeling like totally the wrong person for the job. I grabbed the front of the hoody.
FSM, give me strength.
I set off down the hallway. It never felt quite so long and spooky before. Sunlight pleated through the windows but couldn't touch the dark shadows that curled around the edges.
I stopped outside Cole's door and inhaled heavily, trying to settle my nerves.
I hesitantly knocked.
A shuffling sound from the other side of the door made my heart jump a little before a small voice of acknowledgement settled it.
It's just Cole. What are you so afraid of? Ghost or not, he's still your friend.

"I- it's me," I stammered, placing my hand gently against the door. "Am I allowed to come in?"
A freeze. A long hesitation. I waited patiently on bated breath, awaiting his reply.
"... sure," was Cole's quiet reply. My hand slid down to settle on the cold doorknob and I paused to hype myself up before I opened the door and peeked in.
He was slumped on his bed, staring at his hands. His entire body was slightly green and transparent, letting me see the posters on the wall behind him. My heart broke at the defeated look on his face.

Nobody deserved to be cursed into being a ghost - but especially not Cole. He's so kind. A solid guy, somebody to rely on. Who can he rely on? Because I certainly doubted that it could be me.
"Hey..." I greeted, voice soft as I stepped closer to him. "We're uh... we're leaving soon."
He didn't move. My eyes twitched in irritation at my own abundant lack of ability to console somebody. I crouched before him.
"Cole," I called his name, making him slowly drag his gaze to me. "Do... do you need to talk? Do you want to?"
He remained quiet.
I didn't know what else to say from there; what could I say? He'd been turned into a ghost. I left the ball in his court but he had abandoned the game. What more could I do? What can I do to make him feel better?

"So, um," I swallowed nervously. "Did you know that the first day I met Lloyd, I hit him with my skateboard and my car?"
Cole raised his brow. I dryly laughed at myself.
"Talk about a bangin' first impression," I grinned at my lame pun. Cole's lips twitched.
"... you really crashed into his life, huh?" he said quietly. I brightened, falling into a giggle. He chuckled loosely, eyes falling down to his lap again. His smile faded.

"Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it," he murmured, voice barely audible. "Saving Ninjago, I mean. We put our lives on the line, get possessed or turned into ghosts and half the public still think we're a waste of space and not worth the time of day."
He huffed, wiping at his dry cheeks. "I can't even cry!"
"Cole..." I hummed but he continued.
"I- I don't care about glory but I wouldn't mind a little appreciation," he bemoaned, dropping his head into his hands. "Time after time, we save Ninjago from whoever wants to take over it. One day, we're going to fail. I can't help but think maybe this is that day."
My face twisted into a look of sympathy. I couldn't blame him for being so pessimistic about the situation - even if he wasn't cursed to be a ghost, the way the ninja were treated wasn't exactly anything to write home about.

Sure, they had their die-hard fans and supporters - that was most of the society. But they were still classified as vigilantes by the government and despite how much the ninja keep the city safe, they were certainly not favoured by the military.
I sighed, dropping my head and caught sight of my hands twirled in the folds of Lloyd's hoody nervously. What would I say in this situation?
Lloyd would know what to say.
He'd be the one to raise the morale of the team, bring their spirits up and keep them fighting for Ninjago 'till the day was done. He'd be all smiles even if the odds weren't in their favour, he'd bring the hope and positivity that they needed. Nobody could ever imitate him.

But he wasn't here to console Cole. I was. And I needed to make him feel better instead of sitting dumbly and silently before him.

"Cole..." I murmured, raising my eyes to him. "I'm not gonna sugar coat it. This sucks. It really, really sucks. Both what's happened to you and Lloyd as well as how people treat your team."
He slumped.
"But!" I suddenly stood, making him jump. "You go out into the city and what do you see?"
Cole shrugged. "... buildings, I guess?"
"You see people!" I gushed, launching onto the bed with a smile. He was jolted by the movement. "You see grumpy old men and laughing children. Teenagers trying to act cooler than what they are and new parents and best friends and families."
He turned more towards me, expression opening.
"Cole, they're out there, living their lives, because of you," I insisted, clutching my hands to my chest with emphasis. "Sure, they're oblivious as all hell to what you guys do, but the concerts, the charities, the festivals and parades - where people are smiling and laughing... that's all you. And seeing them like that, seeing the city alive, the lights at night, the music, the dogs in the parks, the cats in windows... don't you think that it's worth it?"

My excitement dulled as my smile turned soft and sad.
"... yeah, we've lost Lloyd. And we don't exactly have a leg up on Morro, but doesn't that make you all the more determined to get Lloyd back? Your brother. He needs us, Cole... won't you help get him back?"
Cole was staring at me with a slack expression and I suddenly felt silly. Did I ramble for too long? Was it insulting? Maybe he thinks I'm an idiot. He wouldn't be the only one, I guess-
"Have you ever done motivational speaking?" Cole asked, suddenly sounding a lot more like himself. "'Cause that was... really good. Like, Lloyd-level good."
"Aw. You think?"
"Yeah!" he nodded, a grin spreading across his lips. "Yeah! And you're right! Who cares what the government says about us! We're saving lives!"
Cole stood upright, sending me a determined smirk. I felt hope rise in my chest. He was back on game.

"And we're saving Lloyd."