Gang of Youths
••• Fear and Trembling •••

'coz there are feelings that are strong

and there are ones that are mixed

at the dawn of my young life's eclipse

i was a boy once, now;

i'm a kind-of-adult

catching up on the cool shit i missed

•••••

Y/n said: it's emo time B)

TW: fantastical pain

"How it works is that you'll hand over the crystal or say goodbye to Lloyd."

We spun around at Morro's voice, finding him standing at the space where we had entered ourselves. The cliff he was standing on stretched higher than I thought, the side sharply cutting off and dropping to the river that cut through the cavern.
And in Morro's grasp, being held over that edge, was-

"Lloyd!" I gasped, attention latching onto his pale, clammy face that was scrunched in pain. His eyes fluttered open at the sound of my voice and they slid down to meet mine.
"I'm s- sorry," he apologised weakly, eyes clenching tight as he shuddered. "I- I couldn't stop him."
His voice sounded scratchy and broken and I felt my chest hollow in fear. Lloyd looked really bad. Like - on the verge of death bad. Morro was right - his body was in terrible condition. It really wouldn't take much to cut him down. The thought of it made me shudder in anger and frustration. He was so close but so far!
Morro's eyes narrowed as they landed on me.
"So what will it be?" he pressured, a glint of psychotic accomplishment in his glare. Was this revenge? I clenched my fists in panicky annoyance.

"If we hand him the Crystal, he will usher the reign of his master, cursing Ninjago and every realm," Zane spoke up with a stern voice, glaring at the crystal before turning his angered gaze to Morro.
"But if we don't, when has he never made good on a threat?" Cole asked, bringing up the second point. He glanced at the duo towering above us. "Look at Lloyd. He's too weak to protect himself!"
"What if Nya uses her powers?" I offered, staring over my shoulder at Lloyd. There was another roll of my stomach when our eyes met. "Morro's in ghost form. He's weak."
Nya shook her head.
"Just because he's in ghost form doesn't mean he's weak," she disagreed. I reluctantly slid my gaze back to her. "He's still got the Sword. He'll see it and just drop Lloyd."
"Either option totally stinks!" Jay spat. "What do you think, Kai? What do we do?"

Kai frowned before gently grabbing the Crystal from Zane. He was glaring at it, burning holes into it with his amber eyes. He was conflicted. On one hand; saving Ninjago. On the other; saving Lloyd, the boy who was practically his brother.
Either way, Morro wins.
The question was what we were willing to risk.
"Looks like the decision is up to you, Kai," Morro spat. "So chose."
Kai let out a noise of frustration, gripping at the crystal tightly. He worried his lips with his teeth, gnawing in agitation until they almost bled.
Lloyd's eyes had slid shut and because of it, he looked like a corpse. It took everything in me not to give into the sudden return of the tugging and race up to him.

"Stop stalling!" Morro spat, lips pulled back into a snarl, jostling Lloyd's body over the drop. "Give me the Realm Crystal or else!"
"We're not stalling!" Kai fired back furiously. "We're thinking!"
Kai gestured us in with a wave of his hand. We huddled closer.
"He's totally right, I'm stalling," Kai whispered. "What are we gonna do?"
Cole groaned, sending Morro a side glare.
"Ugh, this guy really chaps my hide," Cole frowned in a hiss, turning back to us with a scowl. "I swear when this is all over..."
Cole smashed his fist against his palm furiously. A couple of tiny stones rose around his feet.
"Our powers," Kai noted in a hushed voice, grinning as he held out his palm. A tiny flicker of flame burst into life. "Now that Morro's out of Lloyd's body, they're starting to come back!"

Jay held out his fist and grunted. A small flicker of lightning bolted between his index and thumb. He sent us a defeated look.
"Yeah, but like Lloyd, they're weak," he argued with a frown. "We're in no position to fight back."
Kai's expression set in determination.
"Leave that to me," he said with a steeled voice. "Be ready."
For what? I was going to ask, but before I could, Morro burst.
"Times up!" he howled, dragging Lloyd's feet closer to the edge. I felt my heart stop. "You leave me no choice-"

"Wait!" Kai exclaimed, his back turned to Morro. I watched as he held the crystal with both hands and summoned his fire power, heating up the crystal to unimaginable temperatures. It began to turn a shade of orange. "We'll give you the Realm Crystal."
Kai suddenly turned on his heel and threw the Realm Crystal at Morro, who chuckled smugly. He dropped Lloyd, who crumpled by his feet with a groan and I felt my body jerk forward in response, wanting to retrieve him.
Morro caught the crystal before yelping in pain and dropping it, where it landed on the stone before bouncing off of the cliff and dropping to the river. It slipped beneath the surface of the water with a finalising plop.
"The Realm Crystal!" Morro cried in rage and horror before turning to us with an expression that'd haunt my sleep for years to come. "What have you done?!"

Before anybody could react, Lloyd leapt to his feet and kicked the Sword of Sanctuary out of Morro's grasp. Morro roared in outrage at Lloyd's unexpected burst of energy and shoved him back with a wall of wind. He toppled over the side of the cliff, just as the realm crystal had done before him, and fell to the river below.
"Lloyd!" we cried in horror as his blonde haired head broke surface, spluttering and coughing. His eyes were wide with exhausted terror and he was slipping again, sinking without the required energy to keep him afloat, choking on the water.
My feet moved before I told them too, taking off towards the river. My gaze was set on the spot where his head had submerged and while I began to panic about him not resurfacing, I had already launched myself into a swan dive.

My head broke the surface with a gasp and I turned, trying to spot a hint of Lloyd. The frigid chilliness had begun to set in and make my legs lock as I shivered. I pressed on, forcing my body to move as I dove back down into the depths.
Forcing my eyes open, I hovered in the water, trying to adjust to the darkness but to not avail. Panic and cold seized at my chest - how could I find Lloyd if I couldn't see him? I just wanted to protect him. I needed to protect him.
I squeezed my eyes shut, shaking my head as I held my breath. Now's not the time to panic. Now's the time to act. He's gone under so what do you do? You can't hear. You can't see.
Touch. Touch.
I spread my arms, feeling in the darkness and praying that my fingers would brush against Lloyd so I could pull him to safety.

This is taking to long! At this rate, Lloyd would drown, and it was all because I couldn't find him in time!
Out of frustration, I forced my eyes open again and faltered in shock. I could- I could see? The water had illuminated in a soft, peach glow and I felt my chest contract in gratitude. Yeah, the prophecy may suck ass, but at least it helps me out like this.
Oh. Maybe my chest's contracting because I can't breathe.
I twirled frantically, legs kicking each other as I scoured the surroundings for Lloyd while my body shuddered from the lack of air. And there! Just a few metres away. I lunged forth and snatched the sleeve of his gi, forcing us up to the surface.

I inhaled deeply as I broke surface, finally filling my lungs with much needed oxygen. Coughing, I hauled Lloyd's limp head onto my shoulder and began trying to drag us to safety.
Lloyd hacked, suddenly reviving as he clutched at my shoulder. His tired eyes heavily hauled open and he set the side of my face with a languid, lethargic look.
"W- what are you d- doing?" Lloyd croaked, spitting out water that found its way into him. My teeth were chattering as my limbs tried to turn to lead in the freezing water.
"G- getting myself almost k- killed," I stammered before adding as an afterthought; "again."
"Again?"
"Shh, Lloyd," I shook my head, not willing to hear a speech about how I should be safe at home or whatever while we were floating to our deaths. "We'll t- talk about this l- later."

Lloyd went to argue but collapsed back against my shoulder. His breathing was laboured.
My hand scrambled for the edge of the river but the ice was too slippery. Panic began to settle as a heavy stone in my stomach.
"Uhh," I mumbled, glancing over at the ninja who were currently engaged in a battle with Morro. "Help!"
Lloyd's grip tightened for a second. It began to slack and my already rising levels of panic only tenfolded. I couldn't stop us from floating down the river and I was fairly certain I could hear the oncoming roar of a waterfall.
"Is t-that a waterfall?" I asked Kai as he speed over to us after abandoning the battle. He glanced up and grimaced.
"N- no!" he shook his head.
"L- liar," I shivered, hoisting Lloyd back up onto my shoulder when he begun to slip. Cole joined us in our little party.
"H- hey, can somebody ge-t us out?!" I exclaimed, hand catching on nothing as I grabbed at the slippery ice.

Kai leapt to grab my hand but the resistance of the water and the weight of two people were too much to be able to lift us out.
"Cole!" Kai grunted, feet slipping against the ice. "Help!"
"I can't!" Cole cried, hands slipping through Kai's arm. "And I can't touch her arm! It's wet! I'm a ghost, remember, I can't control this body yet!"
"Kai, grab Lloyd!" I ordered, lifting Lloyd higher. His head lolled backwards, unconscious. Kai gave me an incredulous look in response.
"But what about you-!"
"JUST TAKE HIM!" I screamed in desperation as I felt the water shift. Kai faltered before grabbing Lloyd and hauling him over the edge.
With Lloyd's weight gone, I tried to kick myself up and over the ice, in hopes that my torso would be enough to counter balance but the water kept dragging me back and the ice was too slippery to be stable. My hands slid over the edge as I tried to desperately slow myself as the water began to curve.
The roar of the fall was deafening.
I was going to go over.

At least Lloyd's safe, right? At least he's okay. It doesn't matter if I die as long as he's-
There was a scuffle and a hand grabbed my wrist. I felt my body yank hard, stopped abruptly in the birth of a free fall to the end of my days. Pain scorched through my shoulder as I hung like a doll, staring frozen, at the darkness beneath my dangling feet.
"Y- you said you're sticking with m- me no matter what."
My eyes found Lloyd's as he kept me from falling and I felt my heart stop. He grinned tiredly, fangs and everything, as he used one last burst of energy.
"I intend t- to hold you to that."
Clammy faced and looking on the verge of collapsing, he still managed to pull me up with a hard tug before collapsing onto his back. I fell with him, stunned and body unmoving as I stared at the ceiling of the cave with wide eyes.
Wow. Thank gOD, I never wanted to actually die.

"The Realm Crystal!" Cole suddenly cried from afar. I glanced up but Lloyd couldn't even flicker his eyes in response. I watched, apathetic, as the Realm Crystal slipped over the edge of the water fall.
Oh well.
Then it started to float in the air before rising.
Oh fuck.
The Realm Crystal found its way back to Morro's hand, who snickered wickedly before turning on his heel and darting out the exit, escaping while he could.
"Everyone, run!" Cole ordered, pointing after Morro and starting to give chase.
"No!" cried Jay as he helped walk a dazed Nya with a mighty gash to her forehead. "Everyone's hurt! We need time to recover."
Cole exhaled in frustration, staring after Morro. His expression hardened into a scowl.
"I'm going to make him wish he never came back as a ghost," he growled.

Kai, huffing from the exhilaration, helped me to my feet. I wobbled, knees weak with shock.
"You alright?" he asked. I gave him a so-so gesture in response, body trembling with adrenaline.
Kai turned to Lloyd with a pained expression before scooping him up as if he were a little kid.
"C'mon, buddy," he murmured as Zane swiftly approached when I started tilting backwards. He caught me as I stumbled. "Let's get you home."
"Home," Lloyd whispered, eyes still closed. A weak smile played on his lips before he couldn't hold it for any longer. "S- sounds... sounds nice."
"The sensei's and Misako are waiting outside with the Bounty," Zane announced in a quiet voice as he helped me along towards where Morro has disappeared. We broke out into light, the evening sun shining heartily down upon us.
"Y- you're kidding me," I stammered in disdain with an exhausted voice. "There w- was a back entrance this whole time?"
Cole hummed sarcastically. "Of course. Wouldn't be Ninjago if it didn't."

"I- I have to-" Lloyd stammered, eyes flicking open in alarm. Kai set him to his feet with a frown, concern lacing his amber eyes. Lloyd's gaze jumped to the bounty, which had been anchored to the rock we were on and found his father.
"P- powers-" he tried to say but his voice cut off into a shiver. Garmadon's face fell in realisation.
"Everyone onto the ship," he ordered as Kai set Lloyd against the rock wall. "Quickly, now."
"Wa- what's going on?" I stuttered in alarm, being pushed along by Zane. I glanced back at Lloyd, who'd dropped his head back against the wall with a pained face. The rock around him had begun to crack and I felt myself freeze.
"Do not falter," Zane commanded, all but shoving me hurriedly onto the boat. Misako had already rushed inside and kickstarted the engines. Lightning began tracing Lloyd's body.

"What's happening to him?" I whispered huantedly as ice cracked along his legs and steam began to rise from his hands. "I- I thought he said he hadn't unlocked those power yet-"
"He hasn't," Garmadon replied gravely as he stood beside me, clutching the railing of the deck with a grim frown. The Bounty swiftly rose and Lloyd grew smaller and smaller. "Much like your outbursts, Lloyd's power can build up and explode if not used."
My eyes widened.
"You mean-"
"He's become a nuclear bomb," Garmadon continued in a stiff voice. "Because of Morro not using his powers, it has been storing up inside Lloyd. He needs to release it before it destroys him."
I felt my breath slip from my lungs until it was as if I was drowning again. I couldn't even see Lloyd anymore.
"But he's already so weak," I whimpered.
"Then we just have to hope he's strong enough to survive," Garmadon muttered darkly.

I peeked over the rail with a worried expression just as an explosion erupted from below. I was thrown back, tossed painfully along the deck before coming to a stop. I slowly lifted myself, arms shaking and head disoriented, while my ears rung. The bounty had been shoved back, engines thrumming at high power as it kept the ship from falling.
"Ow," I groaned, clutching my head as it swirled. I stumbled to my feet, dizzy.
"Everyone okay?" Cole asked.
"Get us back down," Garmadon called into the bridge.
"He hasn't had to do that for years," Jay murmured, holding Nya up. She'd taken the hit worse than all of us with her injury.

I watched from afar as Garmadon picked Lloyd up, dead unconscious, and shuffled him into the ship. Following, I watched as Zane and Misako treated his burnt, battered body from the doorway.
I felt sick. Ethereally, viscerally sick. I felt like ripping out my stomach and throwing it overboard. Or better yet, pulling out my soul and throwing that over the ship.
I couldn't watch any longer. I couldn't stare at his gaunt face as he struggled to breathe.
I couldn't.
I turned on my heel, brushing past Cole on the way. He called my name but I ignored him, intent on getting away. I'd spent so long trying to get Lloyd back but now that he's here I'm-
I just-
It's-
Ugh. I shoved my arm across my face to rid the tears.

Night had fallen and it was cold on the deck of the bounty as we swayed gently on the quiet sea. The wet clothes stuck to my skin and chilled me to the bone but I couldn't bring myself to change. I couldn't bring myself to go back inside, where Lloyd was suffering.
"You're going to get sick out here," Wu's voice cut across the deck. I closed my eyes, leaning my forehead against the railing as I sat before it.
"I don't care," I murmured.
"You will," Wu corrected. "There is a battle on the horizon. We all must be in working order."
"Working order?" I echoed in a broken voice. "Lloyd's on the verge of death in there a- and I'm-"
"Do not cry to me," Wu said firmly, making me stop short and pull an offended look. His expression softened as he leant against his staff beside me. "This is a conversation you need to have with Lloyd."
I frowned. "How did you even know what I was going to say?"
"It's written over your face," he said, staring at the ocean as it swelled under the glow of the moon. "Y/n, we have been awaiting for your arrival ever since we first discovered your prophecy. Every struggle that Lloyd has faced, we knew that it was just one more step towards him finding you."

I glanced up at the side of his face questioningly. Why was he telling me this? What was his point?
"To have a healthy relationship, two must communicate," Wu continued, dropping his eyes to send me a look. "And that means opening up. Having no secrets."
I stiffened.
"Not avoiding one on account of how you may feel about something."
I drooped.
"But why don't you tell us anything?" I asked, glancing back up at Sensei. "All you guys talk about is how important this prophecy is and so many people know about it. Except for us."
"Because we fear that upon learning of the nature of some of these prophecies, you may go to lengths to avoid them," Wu said in a grave voice. "Avoiding a prophecy is the worst thing you can do."
"There's not just one, either," I murmured. "Ronin told me. He said that there's a bunch that we're in."
"There is," Wu confirmed. And that was all he said of it.

"How is he?" I finally asked after a long beat of silence. It was clear that Wu had little to tell me about the prophecies and I'd given up.
"He's awake," he replied. "He asked for you."
Guilt sunk heavily on my shoulders.
"I don't know if I can face him," I whispered at the star-studded ocean. "Not when he looks like that because of me."
"You will have to," he said. "Whether you want to or not. Because it's dinner time."
My stomach grumbled. I am hungry.
I got up with a loaded sigh, reluctantly following Wu inside. I had a horrible feeling that Lloyd thought I couldn't find the strength to face him. I had a horrible feeling that he was right.
The dining room was full and Jay was recounting the entire week in excruciating detail when I entered. Cole was shaking his head in amusement while Kai was adding in his own two pence and Nya was correcting them all with an amused grin. Misako was dishing up some noodles on a plate and Garmadon was paying attention to the story while Wu took a seat beside him.

Lloyd was listening with a tired smile, resting his weight against Zane while Misako placed his dinner in front of him. He looked pale - paler than usual and his eyes had yet to glow with their usual spark.
Guilt crashed down on me like I was a mouse to a tidal wave. It threw me and I was tossed around in its cold wrath.
"... oh! Oh! And Y/n!" Jay excitedly pointed at me before returning to the story, slamming his hands on the table. "You shoulda seen her! She was like FWOOOM! Over the side of the ship! And then FLAAAM down the anchor! And PAKCHOW! onto the ground like some kind of crazy spy or- or a free runner or- or-"
"Or a ninja?" Nya raised an eyebrow, eyeing her boyfriend with a snicker.
"YES, NINJA!" Jay yelled.
They laughed at Jay's excitement as he continued to delve deeper into the tale and I stood at the entrance of the room, rooted by my guilty feet. Lloyd was still smiling, overwhelmed by being home again though on the verge of passing out.

"Come sit, Y/n," Cole grinned, patting the zabuton beside him. I hurriedly took the seat next to him before I could gain any more unwanted attention.
"Ah, Lloyd, there's something you need to know about who you think is Y/n's cousin," Garmadon began and I stiffened, eyes dropping to the table. Thus began the second story time, though this one held grim undertones and made me lose my appetite as I stared at my untouched plate with dry eyes.
Every time I felt Lloyd's gaze on me while Garmadon spoke of how Axon tampered with my brain and inserted himself into my life, I felt like throwing up. Did he work out that it was my fault he got possessed? Did he blame me? Did he hate me?
It felt like they spoke for hours even though in reality, it only took a few minutes to get through. Lloyd had given up the peeking glances and instead resorted to staring at me while I avoided his gaze.

And then finally-
"Excuse me," I squeaked in a strained voice, abruptly standing from the table and turning on my heel to escape. I heard my name being called but I couldn't stop.
I really am good at running away from my problems.
I can totally face a ghost. That's easy. But the guilt of knowing that what happened to Lloyd was my fault? It was game over.
So I hid in his old room, curled over with my knees to my chest as I stared at the doodles on the wall. That was where he found me.
"How long did you wait?" I whispered, feeling his hovering presence.
"Since I was twelve," he replied, voice tired as he hobbled towards me. He was slow to sit beside me, uncomfortably close. "I snuck into my uncle's room after I learnt about me being the green ninja. I got to peek at one scroll before I was caught. Can't even remember what was on it."
"You spelt 'extraordinarily' so wrong," I hummed with a soft smile as my thumb brushed over the crayon word. Lloyd snorted, dropping his head onto my shoulder.
"Still can't spell it."

I smiled.
"Why are you avoiding me?"
My smile fell.
"Y/n," Lloyd pressed, brows piqued in sadness and it made my heart sink. His shaky hand lifted to my cheek and he gently turned my face towards him. "Please. Talk to me."
My eyes lifted to his.
"C'mon," he murmured at my hesitant silence. "Or I'll have to tempt it out of you."
I raised a brow. "Tempt? Lloyd, you can barely stay awake."
"Nonsense," he drawled, a crooked grin lethargically curling the corner of his chapped lip. "I'm as fresh as a daisy."
"You're as fresh as my mother after New Years," I berated dryly. He gasped.

"It's my fault," I murmured, gaze dropping to the clean shirt he'd been changed into. His hair smelled of shampoo and it was overtaking my senses. He washed himself clean of the whole thing and acted like it was totally in the past, but could I so easily drop this? Would the guilt and self-resentment let me?
Lloyd frowned. "Who said that?"
My eyes closed. "Me."
"You're your own worst enemy."
"It's the truth, though. Even you must know that."
"My truth," Lloyd began, lifting my head with the hand that was still gently hooked around my jaw. His green eyes latched mine and I was caught in the intensity. "Is knowing that you risked your life to save me. Fault or no, you're the reason I'm alive. Isn't that enough?"
"But none of this would've happened if it wasn't for me," I argued desperately.
"You can't blame yourself for Simon," Lloyd insisted, pulling my face closer until I could count the barely-there freckles across his nose. "He's a master of the mind, Y/n, what could you do? Besides, I went to that call as the green ninja, not as Lloyd."

I slumped against his hold. He was right - he did go to the museum as the green ninja. But then what was Axon planning now that he knew his identity? Surely Morro would tell him, if he was still in contact. It sounded like they were.
"It's not your fault," Lloyd reiterated in a firm voice, eyelids heavy with exhaustion. "Before I pass out, I need you to repeat after me. 'I, Y/n L/n.'"
"Lloyd-"
"Please?"
I stared at his green eyes for a beat, contemplating, before I relented with a sigh. His eyes slid shut at my cooperation.
"I, Y/n L/n."
"'Am not at fault for Lloyd Garmadon getting possessed.'"
I faltered. Lloyd peeked an expectant eye open so I stumbled to catch up.
"A- am not at fault for Lloyd Garmadon getting possessed."
"'And I, Y/n L/n,'" he continued.
"And I, Y/n L/n," I echoed.
"Am super totally gorgeous and deadly accurate in kneeing men in their balls."
I snorted. Lloyd's eyes squinted open in mirth.
"I'm still sore."
"I'm so sorry," I giggled, leaning into his touch. He grinned, dropping his forehead against mine.
"That laugh doesn't sound sorry."
I hummed, clamping my mouth shut. Lloyd's face fell.
"Wait, wait, no, please laugh. I missed your laugh."

My cheeks burnt under his hand.
"Al- alright," he drawled, pulling away and stumbling to his feet. "Imma... imma pass out real quick, 'kay? You should- you should take a shower."
I crossed my arms in faux anger.
"Are you saying I smell?" I asked in fake accusation.
"Oh, yeah," Lloyd nodded teasingly as he hovered before the bed. "Definitely. Totally. Gotta scrub like... I dunno, seven times or something. And it's totally not because I'm worried about you getting sick from the clothes that you're still in from when you jumped into the river, no way."
A smile bit at my cheeks.
"And you know what's great?" he continued, lifting a index finger while his body teetered.
"What's great?" I rolled my eyes.
"You can't tell me off for saying that because I'm going to pass out now," Lloyd claimed before promptly collapsing back onto the bed.
"Oh," I said, eyes wide, as he slept on the bed. He wasn't lying. He was totally out.
I lifted my shirt and sniffed, just to be sure.

"I don't stink," I scoffed, but went to take a shower anyway.