TW: impalement, mentions of blood, stitches, depressive thoughts, toxic friendship

That week on the Tuesday, Aunt Rose and my grandparents came for dinner.

That week on the Tuesday, Lloyd crashed into the dining room with a knife in his thigh.

"Oh, hey," he said, as if there wasn't a weapon stuck in his leg and dribbling blood down the pant of his gi. "I'm Lloyd."
The table stared at him, stunned to silence.
I dropped my head into my hands. Lloyd half-collapsed against the wall.
"Dad?" I asked tiredly, dropping my napkin to the table as I stood.
"On it," Dad replied, straightening while my grandparents and aunt watched on in horror. "Up you get, dirtwad."
"O- oh, you really don't need to-" Lloyd stammered as dad crouched to pick him up. But he ignored the ninja, easily lifting him from the floor as if he were a little kid and not a muscular fighting machine. "Oh. Oh. I guess this is happening."

I rolled my eyes, tugging my hair back into a ponytail and grabbing the stitching supplies. Dad set him down on the toilet after closing the lid with his foot, grunting when Lloyd quietly thanked him. In the background, the dining room erupted into chaos.
"Why didn't you just get Zane to stitch you up?" I asked, taking a seat before him and pressing a flannel around the wound. The cut wasn't deep and Lloyd still had it in him to yank the small knife out himself. I immediately pressed weight onto the wound. He hissed in pain.
"You have better bedside manner," he muttered. Dad returned with painkillers and a glass of water. "Thanks, Jamie."
"Any other injuries I should know about?" I asked, swallowing nervously when the blood began to soak through the heavy material. I pushed harder, willing the bleeding to stop.

"Nope."
"How did this happen?" I murmured as dad left the bathroom to consult with my grandparents, who sounded like they were having a crisis.
Fair enough.
"I got distracted thinking about where I'm taking you for dinner next," he hummed, leaning his head back against the wall.
"Lloyd," I said quietly, sternly. "I'm serious."
He exhaled through his nose, eyes closed. He looked exhausted. Burnt out.
"The gang I was fighting mentioned you."
I stilled, staring hard at the flannel, heavy with blood.
"I got distracted. Sorry."
"Don't apologise," I murmured. "Do you think they work for Axon?"
"I'm positive," Lloyd sighed. "We're going to tighten patrols around your block-"
"Don't sacrifice the safety of the city for me," I ordered softly.
"We won't," he soothed. "But I'm not letting you be in danger, either."

"I won't," I reassured, sending him a small smile. He returned it. "Take off your pants."
Lloyd's grin dropped in surprise.
"N- now?"
"Uh... yeah, now," I said, peeking under the flannel and was satisfied that the bleeding had stopped. "I need to clean your wound."
"Oh," Lloyd said, shoulders slumping. A small grin curled on my lips at the disappointment in his voice. I dropped the flannel into the tub before grabbing a clean one and dipping it into the tap.
"I'm so glad you're not squeamish," Lloyd said in relief when I gently dragged the cloth around and over his injury. "I don't know what I'd do if you were."
"You'd go to Zane instead of interrupting my family dinner," I said dryly, snagging the sterilised needle and thread from the sink. "Unfortunately, my grandparents are a little bit more mundane than Uchū. You should've texted me you were coming. I could've prepared better."
"I was a little busy being stabbed," Lloyd said snarkily. I snorted.
"You've had worse, you big baby."
"Your words hurt more than the knife," he sniffed.

I shook my head in amusement before beginning to stitch him up, falling into the rhythm. Lloyd grimaced at the sound.
Tug, slide. Tug, slide. Tug, slide.
A comfortable silence surrounded us.
"All done, goldilocks," I said sweetly, patting his uninjured leg when I finished.
"Kiss it better?"
I pulled a face at his crass grin. "I'm not kissing your stitches. Hurry up, have a shower. Then I guess you better meet the rest of my family."
"I'll try my best not to traumatise them any further," he pledged, resting his hands on his knees with a small wince.
"Wow, really?" I gasped teasingly, straightening to my full height. "That's so kind of you, green ninja!"
"I know," he sighed cheekily, reaching up to slide my hair out of my ponytail. It tumbled down. "You look really pretty tonight - I mean, you're pretty all the time. But especially tonight."

My face went red. He gave a small smile, gently poking one of my burning cheeks.
"It's a special occasion," I said quietly, flustered as I slowly backed out of the bathroom so he could shower. "My grandparents travel a lot so we don't see them often. I suppose it's lucky that you did come crashing in today 'cause I don't know when we'll see them again."
Lloyd hummed in acknowledgement, lifting himself to his feet with a pained grimace. I faltered at the entrance, worried.
"Do you need any help?" I asked, resting my hands on the doorframe. He replied with a teasing smirk.
"You offering to be my shower buddy?" Lloyd coed. I scrunched my nose at his suggestion.
"No, you're totally fine," I decided, grabbing the door handle to pull it shut. "Forget I said anything."
The shower turning on drowned out his chuckles. But not enough that I wouldn't hear them, bouncing inside the small room.

I returned with some of his clothes - grey fat pants, a shirt and one his usual green hoodies - and placed them on the sink inside before slipping back out to deal with my family.
It was a scene of chaos.
Aunt Rose was rubbing her temples, elbows on the table. Mum was arguing with my grandpa. Nan and Dad were eating quietly, watching the commotion. I sat back down and continued my dinner to the lovely soundtrack of my family yelling.
"Y/n!" my grandfather suddenly burst, making me jump and drop my fork. The chicken on it tumbled aside and I frowned sadly. "You cannot be with Lloyd Garmadon!"
Ah, lovely. Here we go again.
"They're fine, dad!" Mum hissed. "These stories of yours are nothing but old wives tales!"
"They are not!"
"What are they talking about?" I whispered to Rose. She only shrugged.

"Let's all calm down," dad suggested, raising his palms in a placating manner. "Y/n can date whoever she wants. Within reason. Lloyd is within reason."
"He is born of demons!" my grandfather hissed, rounding in on Jamie. "I have done my research into the prophecies and my study is sound!"
"Hey!" I defended, retrieving my chicken. "Garmadon isn't a demon!"
"That is not what I mean!" Pops pressed a snarl. "The entire Garmadon lineage - they have demon blood in their veins. You need to stay away! I forbid you to be around him!"
"What?!" I burst, leaping to my feet.
"That's not up to you," mum snapped. "She's my daughter."
"And she is my granddaughter."
"And I am my own person," I reminded boldly, but only made pops all the more frazzled.
"I refuse to step back and allow my only grandchild be a puppet for fate's design!" he roared. "That destiny holds nothing but pain, suffering and death! You are too valuable to us to so carelessly throw your life away like that!"

"This is ridiculous," I scoffed, shaking my head as I went to leave the table. "You're being ridiculous."
"Lloyd Garmadon only knows how to hurt," grandpa said. "You must-"
"It's not like you can do anything about it, dad," Rose said calmly, taking a sip of her wine in spite of the utter cesspool around her. "They're already engaged."
"What?"
Oh, perfect. Now all three of them are against me.
"Engaged?!" Dad burst, turning on me. "What is she talking about?"
"I'm surprised you didn't already know about it," Rose spoke up. "It's all over the news and everything."
"We're not engaged," I insisted, pulling out the necklace. "It's just a promise ring!"
"Oh," dad said, more calm.
"Aww," Mum gushed, stepping forward to gently hold the ring on her fingertip. "That's adorable."
"I was going to tell you sooner, but..." I winced. "I couldn't find the right time."

Lloyd entered then, blond hair damp. He eyed my grandfather for a brief second before dropping his gaze back to me. I gave him an encouraging smile. Pops narrowed his biting stare. I prayed for a welcoming family for once.
"Hi," he greeted, voice small yet pleasant as he hobbled to the seat beside me. His suck up voice. "I'm Lloyd," he said for the second time that evening.
"I'm aware," pops said dryly.
"Grandpa," I chastised, sending him a pleading look. He groaned. "Behave. He's my emotional support ninja boyfriend."
Dad snorted so suddenly and violently that he began coughing. Rose laughed.
"I apologise," ma sighed at Lloyd's small smile. "He's a bit overprotective."
"'A bit,'" mum grumbled, crossing her arms. Ah. So that's where she got it from.
"Have we all calmed down, now?" Rose asked as dad handed Lloyd a plate so he could grab some of the dinner that was spread across the table in various dishes. He quietly gathered his haul. I gently knocked his uninjured leg with my knee, sending him a worried look. Had he heard what my grandpa said?

Of course he did. Who was I kidding?
I could see it on his face.

"Great," Rose said when nobody started smashing glasses or accusing my boyfriend of anything else. "I'm moving to Ninjago City."
I dropped my fork again. This time it landed on the floor.
Uchū, because I know you're up there (just depends on whether he listens or not) - tell the nerds in the cloud kingdom to give me a fucking B R E A K-
"But you love Jamanakai," mum said, brow furrowed.
"I do," Rose sighed as I grimaced at the ceiling, sliding my body glumly down the seat to retrieve the offending utensil. "But I have too many memories there of... of Simon. I can't stand it."

I flinched hard at the name, hitting my head on the underside of the table and making the dishes clatter.
"Shit," I hissed, dropping to my knees as I cradled my throbbing head. Lloyd pushed his chair back and guided me out, holding a chilled hand to my head. I thanked him quietly, taking a seat before realising I dropPED THE FUCKING FORK AGAIN WHEN I HIT THE TABLE-
"Who?" Ma asked while I dropped my head into my hands at my general incompetence. Seriously, how does Lloyd handle someone as clumsy as me after being surrounded by primed ninja masters? Meeting me must've been some hardcore whiplash. "Who's Simon?"
Thank you, Neuro.
The wood under Lloyd's hand cracked a little. He swiftly removed his hand from the table, dropping it onto his lap. I tried picking up my fork with my socks, much to Lloyd's amusement. When I succeeded, I shot him a wink.
Because picking up a fork with your socks is incredibly sexy.

But what was more sexy than that was getting Lloyd to smile when he was clearly feeling down. Even if that meant sacrificing my dignity in front of my entire family.

"Nobody," Rose shook her head, sharing a look with my parents while I distracted Lloyd. "He's no one."

The rest of dinner went by uneventfully.
No more utensils were dropped (I ended up stealing Lloyd's fork anyway). Conversation was soft and pleasant. Despite the clear discomfort emitting from Lloyd in thick, suffocating waves, he plastered on a smile and conversed pleasantly with my family.
Grandpa kept sending worried looks my way, which I ignored and instead focused on my small attempt of shooing Lloyd's worries away by brushing circles on the back of his hand with my thumb. He declined desert with a small smile (very unlike him) and I finally had enough when the adults moved into the living room.

"Lloyd," I whispered, slowly pulling him into the hallway while he slightly limped. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," he lied, sticking on a fake smile. "I'm fine."
"Why do you keep hiding things from me?" I asked quietly, hurt. "Stop hiding things from me. Please. I thought we talked about this."
"This is different," Lloyd soothed, brushing away some hair from in front of my face. "I just don't want you to worry about me."
"There will never not be a day where I'm worried for you," I insisted, grabbing his hands in mine. "So please, tell me what's bothering you. Is it about what my pops said?"
A look crossed his face.
"Do... do you think I'm a demon?" Lloyd asked. His voice was strained. "Do you think I only know how to hurt?"

"No. Never," I shook my head. "Even if you did have demon blood in you, you're the most nicest, gentlest, sweetest demon there is."
The crease between Lloyd's brows didn't soften. He continued to stare at me with an indifferent look in his eyes.
"Honey," I pressed, sliding my palms over his warm cheeks. "Don't listen to him. He's just overprotective. We've dealt with overprotective before."
"But he knows about the prophecy," Lloyd countered, voice hushed. His faint freckles caught the soft light of the hallway. "He knows about my lineage. He knows more about me than I do. How am I supposed to just - just forget about it? I can't, Y/n."
"Stop trying to make yourself out to be the bad guy," I said gently. "Your actions are what make you who you are, not where you've come from. And- and if it's still bothering you, we can talk to your parents."

Lloyd broke away, face troubled. He gave a small nod at my suggestion and my frown deepened. His life was already a chaotic mess as it was and this was definitely not helping.
It's too bad that I couldn't kiss him until he forgot all about it.
Or. Or maybe I could.
"Lloyd," I whispered, hands sneaking into his soft hair. He hummed. "Do you want me to distract you?"
His eyes jumped to mine and I offered a small smile in return, watching as his irises recoloured themselves red. Hands dipped down to my waist, urging me to take that half a step closer until I was pushed up against him, close enough to drop his forehead to mine. Close enough to soak in his warmth.
Lloyd took a deep inhale and slowly released it.
"No, thank you."
My lips parted in surprise, sending him a stunned look.
"Can we just watch a movie or something instead?" he asked quietly. Still baffled to silence, I dumbly nodded.

And then, on the way to my room while my grandparents bid their adieu at the front door, I kicked myself for being disappointed.
Or I kicked myself for being an insensitive idiot.
Maybe I kicked myself for being both.

"I'm sorry," I whispered when Lloyd eased his sore leg down onto my bed. "I shouldn't have said that."
"I appreciate the sentiment." He gave me half a coy smile. "But I'll keep the offer open for later when I'm in a better mood. Maybe in three weeks when I can distract you back."
"That's fine," I nodded, perching before him on the bed and crossing my legs. "What movie do you want to watch?"
"Dunno," he shrugged, picking at a scar as I pulled up Netflix. "Close your eyes and do a blind pick."
The movie I ended up picking without actually picking was an old western. About halfway through it, I decided that it was late enough for sleep. I slid under the covers and helped softly rest the duvet over Lloyd's injury so it wouldn't hurt him.
As soon as he was settled, I draped myself over his stomach.
"Hey," I said softly, making his red eyes drop from the laptop to me. "I love you."
A small smile twisted his lips.
"Love you, too."

I smiled dopily, nuzzling my face into his shirt while I felt all warm and fuzzy inside.
"Emotional support ninja boyfriend," I grinned shamelessly. His smile was looser, easy. He was starting to feel better.
"Emotional support military girlfriend," he countered and I gave a tired little laugh, curling closer into his chest. I could hear his heartbeat, his breathing. Feel his hand in mine.
That was how I fell asleep.
That was also how I woke the next morning, having not moved a muscle while in slumber; content to just be close to him. Lloyd's fingertips were gently stroking my scalp while he stared at the ceiling. I almost fell asleep again at the feeling of it.
I breathed in my impromptu pillow, senses filled with nothing but trickling streams and wet woodland as I soaked in Lloyd's presence. If I could, I'd lay there with him forever.

Unfortunately, school existed.

It passed by in a blur. The general buzz of excitement for prom was growing the closer the set date for the night approached and anything teachers talked about bounded right over our heads. We absorbed absolutely nothing from class.
I spent morning tea at Claire and Aaliyah's table, feeling oddly out of place as I sat on the edge of the crowd. Naomi had taken to sitting with the ninja. It became common knowledge that she and Cole were dating, much to Claire and Aaliyah's shock.

I left the cafeteria for the next class with an uncomfortable feeling in my gut. Maybe it was my period warning me of its approach. Who honestly knows anymore.

Lloyd was waiting at the entrance of the cafeteria for me with a charming smile, taking my outstretched hand when I made desperate grabby motions. We had art together so we strolled down the bustling hallways. A bubble of calm amongst the utter chaos of the student body.
With the approaching external examinations, art class was bumping up in productivity to get our final, large pieces done. When I say large, I mean canvases half our size. In excruciating detail.
One thing that truly, really surprised me about Lloyd was his art skill. With so much going on in his life, I never would've thought that he'd have the time to sit down somewhere and draw - but actually, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Drawing, in the right mindset, can count as another type of meditation. An escape from reality.
I think I once saw a drawing of me on his desk before it was quickly grabbed and thrown into the closet.
Lloyd thought I didn't notice. I did.

For his final, Lloyd was painting a gift to his parents - a gorgeous capture of Geoff and Valerie (his parents' elemental dragons, to which I keep referring as and will not give up until Lloyd starts calling them that too).
My own piece was from a photo I'd taken after bribing Dimitri to be my model by agreeing to be in some of his tiktoks - the monk meditating in the tranquility of the monastery's garden while sunlight filtered through the maple leaves. Kashu was curled up beside him, slumbering in the winter sun.
A few students were painting pieces of the ninja (green ninja being the most prominent, the damn fan favourite. The growing ego of Lloyd was astronomically insane) and I kept clenching my fists in annoyance when I glanced at them because Greenie's eyes are the wrong shade of green.
But I couldn't say anything, less my correction rose unwelcome theories and rumours.
So I suffered in silence.

The class was discussing the current rise in gangs and the ninja's same incline in activity in result. It was good to know that they appreciated the team for what they do because between training, patrols, studying for exams and trying to figure out who Axon's people were, the ninja were perpetually running on fumes. Not one of them didn't have bags under their eyes.
I think I saw Jay chugging three mugs of coffee one weekend morning.
Jay.
He never drinks coffee - he banned himself from it because one time he got so energised from the caffeine that he caused half of the city to have a power surge and fried the generators.

"What do you think, garmagirl?" one student boldly asked. Lloyd's gaze jumped up briefly before he returned his attention to the black wing he was painting.
"What?" I asked, lifting my head. I hadn't been paying attention, instead listening to the song that was playing from one of my headphones that we were sharing.
"What do you think about the rise in activity from the ninja force?" asked the student, and suddenly everyone's gaze was on me. I gave a shrug, turning my eyes down to the orange shade I was mixing on my palette to paint a leaf.
"I think they're working hard," I replied honestly, stroking the brush over the canvas. "I have a lot of respect for them. They do so much to keep us all safe."
Lloyd's hand squeezed my thigh in silent appreciation when the conversation diverted elsewhere. I sent him a warm smile in return.

But then Mrs. Peralta told the class that it was enough chatter for one day and we fell back into silence, working hard on our projects and feeling the suffocation that was the inevitable deadline creeping up our throats.
Lloyd still had a boat load to do before he finished, having little time due to more pressing priorities - y'know, like keeping us all from dying on the occasion. Still, he was caught slacking, and Mrs. Peralta is a teacher without mercy when it comes to getting work done.

"Mr. Garmadon!" snapped Mrs. Santiago, making the entire class jump. I pulled out an ear phone, abruptly shutting off the tap I was using to clean my palette as I stared over my shoulder. "If you would stop staring at your girlfriend and instead focus on your work, you might actually get something done today!"
Lloyd's face flushed bright red.
"Y- yes, ma'am," he stammered.
I hid a smile when I turned back to the sink, wiping down the plastic paint palette.
I sat with the team at lunch. It seemed that my pops' comment on his 'demon' lineage was still bothering him, because he told his siblings what my grandpa said word for word.
"Yike," Nya murmured.
"That's so sad, Zane play the weekend whip," Jay said glumly. Naomi hid her face in her hands with a snort.
"I will not."
"I mean, he could be onto something," Cole shrugged as he stole a cookie from Naomi's lunch bag. She gasped at the thievery. "You do have these weird beast instinct things that popped up when Y/n appeared on the scene. And we all know that you have incredibly poor impulse control around her."
"I do not!"
"You do," I agreed. "You literally got a tongue piercing because I made a brush aside comment about them. And that's only the most recent case. Most notable - Morro. And Axon."
Lloyd wilted. He couldn't argue against that.

"You know, he didn't used to be like this," Kai said as he slurped some noodles from a plastic container - most likely leftovers from the night before. It looked much more appetising than my sandwich so I gave him the puppy dog eyes. He shoved it to me with a groan and I gave a little 'yay!' before he continued his point. "He used to be all stiff and boring and totally a teachers pet. I dunno, now it seems like he actually has a personality."
"WOW, thanks, Kai," Lloyd said dryly while a noodle got stuck to my chin. I pulled a face, trying to get it off without using my hands.
"See!" Kai pointed out.
"He did not used to be impulsive, either," Zane piped up.
"Or as easily flustered!" Jay chimed in. Lloyd frowned grumpily, pulling off the noodle and eating it himself.
"Damn," I frowned. "I totally broke him. My charm was too devastatingly powerful."
"Yeah, that was it," Lloyd agreed sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "It's totally not that I'm a freak or anything."
I stuck a finger into his side. He jolted with a sharp giggle, lurching away.
"Stop calling yourself a freak, you gorgeous dumbie," I ordered with a determined pout. "You're extraordinary. There's a difference."

"Yeah, Lloyd," Jay said with a shake of his head. "You were never going to be a normal boyfriend."
"I could be a normal boyfriend if I tried!" Lloyd argued.
"Yeah," Kai snorted. "If you squint."
Lloyd frowned.
"Normal's overrated," I announced, packing my bag for the next class. "I prefer my dragon boy boyfriend. Even if he is a bit possessive from times."
He sent me a look. I grinned shamelessly back.
"Hey, I don't mind," I shrugged, grabbing his face and pressing a kiss to his forehead. "It's nice to know I'm wanted enough that you'd eat a dude's shoulder. That's dedication."
"You're spending too much time with my team," Lloyd said dryly. I grinned, inwardly relieved that my Axon comment didn't go down badly. It was a thin line as is, but Lloyd seemed totally fine with me joking. It's my coping mechanism.
"Your team?" I repeated with a smug smile. "Oh, honeybee. They're my family."
"Great," Lloyd groaned, but it couldn't mask the soft look in his green eyes.
"Guys," Jay said excitedly. "We acquired a sister."
"What am I?" Naomi asked. "Chopped liver?"
"Two sisters," Jay hissed. "We got two new sisters! Our empire is growing."

"Alright, Darth Vader," I snickered at the lightning master. "C'mon, Nomes. We've gotta head to english."
"O- oh," she said, shoving her phone down onto her lap. Her blue eyes darted to Cole. "A- actually, I need to talk to Cole for a second. I'll... I'll meet you there."
"Uh," I said, weirded out by the clammy look on her face. "Sure. See you in class."
"Ha-ha, yup!" Naomi said in a rush, grabbing a confused Cole by an arm and hauling the large man to his feet. He stumbled, taken aback by her strength.
"Maybe she really wanted a kiss like how you did that one time?" Lloyd asked quietly as we watched Naomi scurry Cole out of the cafeteria. I placed my hand over his mouth.
"We don't speak of that."

I wondered what had her so riled up.

🍃🍂🍁🍂🍃

I got my answer by my phone ringing in the middle of the night.

I groaned, clenching my eyes shut as if that would stop it from blaringly ringing. Lloyd grumbled beside me, legs caught with mine. He grabbed my phone and pushed it against my face.
"Y've a call," he slurred lethargically.
"M'aware," I mumbled my reply, grabbing the rude little device and sitting upright. My eyes were assaulted by the bright light as I lifted it to my face.
Naomi was calling.
At two in the morning.
I heaved a tired sigh before swiping across to answer, placing the phone against my ear.
"'Llo?" I greeted sleepily, rubbing my eyes. "Nomes? Wha-" I cut myself off to yawn. "Wha's happenin'?"
"Are you alone?"
I blinked, glancing down at Lloyd hugging my waist. He had fallen back asleep.
"... no."
"Can you be?"
My brow furrowed, wide awake now. Her voice was shaky. I grew concerned.

"Uh, sure," I nodded, slipping from Lloyd's grasp. He briefly caught my waist in an iron hold before relaxing when I scratched his sweet spot. I rose from bed and shrugged on his hoody, finding solitude in the living room. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"
"They've been talking," Naomi began bluntly, voice catching in stress. "About you."
"Who?"
"Claire. Aaliyah. The rest of the group."
I began to slowly pace the living room, free hand in the large midsection pocket of the green hoody. I swallowed nervously. The weird feeling in my gut from morning tea was back with a vengeance.
"Wh- what about?" I asked, voice a little strained. I already knew the answer, I just didn't want to believe it.
"Talking shit," she replied quietly. "They're the ones who started the rumours. The one about you being shared between Lloyd and Chen. And the one where you're only dating Lloyd for the clout."
I hadn't heard that second one before.

My throat was dry. I swallowed, but it did little to help.
"O- oh," I said hollowly, feeling a pit open up in my gut. Disbelieving tears sprung up in my eyes. "Is... is that all?" Of course it's not.
"No," Naomi confirmed my fears. "They've been saying horrible stuff about you in a group chat, too."
"L- like what?"
"I... I'll get screenshots," she whispered before pulling the phone away. I waited anxiously for them to be sent through, curling up on the corner of my couch. This felt unreal. I'd grown up with these people and...
They were a huge part of my life and they...
The screenshots were sent through. There were so many. I scrolled to the top, achingly far, while my breathing grew laboured in anxiety. I know that I'd been drifting apart from the group but I still had trusted them. They were still my friends.
Just the first couple of messages had my throat closing up in horror. They were talking about me and Lloyd in ways that people should never be talked about. I scrolled, watering eyes skimming the texts, feeling more and more of my world shatter around me. I'd been dealing with the small amounts of bullying at school but this-

This was on a different level.

Naomi was silent on the other side of my phone as I had my quiet breakdown, audibly hiccuping in sorrow. Most of it was Claire.
I should've seen this coming - Claire was never the nicest person and neither were most of the group, but I gave them the benefit of the doubt. I reassured myself that they're just bolshy but genuine. I told myself time and time again that everything was fine, that I was just reading too much into things. I made myself naive. Oblivious to their cancellations and hurtful words and the way they distanced themselves from me, not the other way around. They tugged me around like a toy dog on a leash. I was a puppet. I was their plaything.

I had no value.

My lips were trembling as I read, feeling every spiteful word stab right through my heart. Tears dribbled down my face in the quiet room, dark as night and holding no warmth. I was shivering, freezing. Every part of me felt like it was being stabbed with needles. There was no comfort here.
'She's fucking dumb if she thinks that Lloyd actually loves her' said one.
'He's only dating her so he can be pretend to be normal lmao' said another.
'She was always so fucking annoying anyway.'
'I'm pretty sure nobody even invited her into our group in elementary. She just showed up. None of us wanted her there.'
'We only let her stay out of pity.'

Pity.
Pity.
Pity.

'Who else was going to be friends with her?'
'Can't wait for the day Lloyd realises that she's such a dumbass that he dumps her slut ass.'
Dumps?
'It's so obvious that he doesn't actually love her. You can see it on his face.'
'I know! She's all over him and he looks like he just wants to fucking run.'
'Or rip her head off!'
'If he kills her id actually like Lloyd for once.'
'Good fucking riddance.'
'Did you see her at lunch today? Can't even hold a fucking conversation.'
'She must be fucking good at blowjobs if Chen and Lloyd are still hanging around her.'
'like seagulls to trash?'
'More like flies to shit.'

I felt sick. Genuinely nauseas. My breath was stuck behind my teeth and my head was swirling. I'd cried so much that it was soaking the hood of Lloyd's hoody, staining the green material darker with salty, horrified tears.
"I- I'm so sorry," Naomi whispered. "I didn't want to tell you but you have a right to know."
"N- no," I choked out thickly, voice shaky with obvious distress. "Th- thank you for t- telling me."
"Are... are you going to be okay?" Naomi asked before hissing something to herself, cursing the dumb question. Still, I lied to her. Lied to myself.

"Y- yeah," I replied, body shivering in horrified agitation. "J- just gimme a- an hour."
But my voice broke halfway through my sentence, revealing the emotions I was trying desperately to keep contained and it was a catalyst of sorts, releasing everything that had been building up behind my dam. It'd been hit with a wrecking ball and the water came crashing out. I was shaking, sobbing into the hoody in an attempt to not wake anyone.
I couldn't believe they'd talk behind my back in such a horrid way. I couldn't believe that I'd began to believe some of their biting words.

"I- I'm so sorry," Naomi said again and this time, she was crying too. "I sh- I should've told you sooner b- but I didn't know how and every time I was going to, I lost the courage and I- I'm just- I'm such a coward, I should've-"
"I- it's okay," I said brokenly, digging my head into my knees. "I- it's not you- your fault."
I was shaken. Lost. I felt tossed around and used for their entertainment. If they didn't like me, why didn't they just say? If they hated me, why didn't they just tell me to fuck off to my face?
What did they gain from this? Some sick type of catharsis? Watching me merrily sit beside them while they spoke such destroying words about me when I wasn't watching?

And then the doubt set in.

Did Lloyd really look like he wanted to run when I was with him? Maybe it started off as genuine interest which faded into resentment when I began to be more trouble than I was worth. The ninja are so tired from looking for Axon's men. Because of me. It's because of me. It's all my fault and it's always my fault. I got Lloyd possessed. I'm the reason he started getting weird beast instincts. That's my fault, too. I was nothing more than a burden.
Lloyd once said I was worth more than the sun. Was that a lie? He was pretty good at telling lies. The foundation of our relationship was built on a lie. Maybe after our heart-to-heart, he just.
Continued to lie.
He still kept things from me.
Lloyd's an artist. He can weave pretty lies and tell me what I want to hear. Because honestly, who the fuck would want me? Clumsy and weak and stupid and. And a waste of space.

My only value was this stupid power that nobody knows anything about, the prophecies that I'm not allowed to know-
Oh my god. What if Misako and Garmadon hate me, too? I got their son possessed. I pulled Axon back into their lives. It's my fault. It's my fault it's my fault it's my fault.
Why can't I ever see anything clearly? Why was I cursed to be so trusting and naive? No wonder I was surrounded by lies. I couldn't see shit. I was totally blind to them. I was in my own little bubble of merry obliviousness. I was such an easy target.

Throughout everything, my friends were a constant variable in my life. Throughout my fight with Lloyd, I could fall back to them for support - or so I assumed. I vented to them when I missed my dad, I cried to them when my goldfish died, I stressed with them about tests and laughed with them about the new tv show that was just so fucking funny and we shared our worries over our futures and the inside jokes and the complaints about our parents and the kids that would yell at us for taking too long on the swings.
They were my world for so long. It was just a facade.
Everything is just a facade. My life is just a facade.
They never liked me.
The ninja were just keeping me around for the prophecies.
Lloyd doesn't love me. He didn't ever decide to love me. The imprint did. The prophecy did.
I'm a nobody. An absolute nobody.
Fuck. Fuck. I'm so fucking stupid.

There wasn't anything else to say. Naomi promised to call again in the morning, to rectify my broken world, as if a plaster could break shattered glass. She ended the call.
I stared at myself in that mirror, the jagged glass cutting across my reflection and distorting my face until it became something unrecognisable. A stupid girl with a fragile heart who made dumb decisions that lead her to this huge mess.
I stared at the phone in my hand. The very thing that was the window to my catalytic destruction. Broke me down, piece by piece. Kicked me while I was down.

I don't know how long I gazed at nothing, mind shutting down and brain blank while tears dried to my cheeks in salty rivulets. Eyes glossed over in shock. Hands trembling in pain. Nothing superficial - this pain was far more traumatic. This pain was far more viscerally cutting. Worse than a bruise. Worse than a broken bone.
I didn't know what to believe anymore. So I just. Didn't.
Eventually, I came to once more. Found my motor functions and stumbled back to bed.
I stopped at the entrance to my bedroom, staring as Lloyd slumbered peacefully on my bed. Legs tangled in my sheets. Hair strewn across my pillow. Weight pressing into my mattress. Totally unaware to my utter turmoil.
My heart ached as I stood and watched him sleep, chest rising and falling slowly, lips parted. His stupid tongue piercing glinted softly from the glow of my phone.

He was so beautiful. A pretty liar.

I crawled back into bed, a shell of a person I was when I got out of it just hours before. I stared at Lloyd, half a metre away, the space between us electrifying and painful. I swallowed dryly.
So painful.
Maybe grandpa was right about him. Maybe my parents were right about him, way back when, too.
Lloyd was nothing but trouble.
I should've accepted Garmadon's offer to help me get out of the prophecy. Would my friends still tolerate me, then? Or would I just. Just be alone?
But aren't I alone anyway? Choose your pain. Both are equally horrible. One just had the bittersweet memories of a first love. The other had the slightest margin of a chance that this whole thing against me would've never have happened. What would I have been more willing to give up?

I shuffled forward. I cradled Lloyd's sleeping face in my shaking hands. I pressed myself against him tight, dropped a kiss to his chin. I held him close, pressed kiss after kiss to his face, because by the opening, gaping void being forcefully ripped open inside of me, I had a feeling that this could very well be the last time I got the chance to do so.
A one-sided farewell.
It was just me against the harsh, cruel world.
I didn't sleep. I was exhausted, feeling like I should drop at any second, but sleep avoided me, too. So I just held Lloyd, trying to burn the feeling of him onto memory.

Lloyd woke when the sun hit the sky, peeking out from behind the tall mountains surrounding the city. He sighed, pushing an arm around me and pulling me closer. He nuzzled sweetly into my hair and it took all of me to not fall into tears again. How could he lie? How could he not? Everything was just a confusing mess.
When his red eyes opened, soft with love (fake? Not fake? Dying to know, never to be answered) his face fell.
"Have you been crying?" Lloyd asked, morning voice gravelly and grating and terrible and lovely all the same. His thumb gently brushed one of my stained cheeks worriedly, waking up more with every heartbeat. "Sunshine, what happened?"

"Nothing," I said quietly, voice strained and brittle just as how I felt before him. Weak and useless. "I just have a bad headache."
It wasn't exactly a lie. My head was pounding like Thor's hammer itself was being smashed against the inside of my skull. He just didn't need to know the reason. Not yet. I needed to prepare myself better. Hold myself upright for the eventual downfall of us.
"I'll go get you some painkillers," he said, unfairly concerned, pressing a kiss to my forehead. He left the bed and I couldn't help but compare it him finally telling me what I already knew - he didn't love me, only kept me around for the prophecies - before walking away, one less problem on his already laden shoulders.

I stared at the ceiling with dry eyes. Lloyd reentered, footsteps silent, helping me sit up as if I couldn't do it myself. He sat behind me, legs caging mine and handing me the medicine. I took it numbly.
"Do you want to stay home today?" Lloyd asked softly, hands rubbing the length of my torso. I hated the way I absolutely melted into his addictive touch. I nodded. "Okay. I'll take the day off-"
"No," I said. He stopped himself. "No. Y- you go to school. I'll be fine. Just need to rest. It's that time of year."
"A- are you sure-?"
"I'm sure."
Lloyd swallowed, confused, but he dropped his head to my shoulder anyway, large hands rubbing slow circles on my hips while I stared blankly ahead.
And then, an hour later, he left for school.
Alone.
I stayed in my room.
Alone.

Stuck with nothing but my messy thoughts.