"Good morning."

I slowly open my eyes. "Good and morning don't belong in the same statement." I am not a morning person.

"Shitty, horrible morning then." She said it with a cute smile that I just can't get mad at. I have to call her 'she', I can't remember her name.

"I can guess why you're here, and from our state of undress I can guess what we did. Your smile is stunning so I know why I singled you out. I'm sure I was charming and I was obviously very drunk... Did I trick you, or push you or did you come willingly?"

"Oh, I came willingly enough. You told me some crazy stories and after that I just had to find out for myself. You warned me that the price for finding out about what you told me was rather high, and that a night of sex till we passed out was just the first payment. You also told me you would not remember me in the morning and to not be offended. The clincher was when you told me you had my name tattooed on your ass. I laughed and you dropped trouser right there and showed me your left cheek. In big bold letters, the words 'your name' was there. You then asked me what my name was again and proceed to expose your right cheek and there were the words 'is Mandy'. At that point you had me. No one ever tattooed my name on there ass before. That was when you pulled up your pants and said we were going home. So here we are. I have just short of a million questions I need answered."

"Hmmm, so I guess your Mandy... Typical. If you look that good and smile like that, your gonna have a brain, an attitude, and a smart ass. That seems to be the standard package deal lately." He sure hopes he's smiling as he says that, but he can't be completely sure. His head is still pounding.

"I'm an upgraded package." Mandy proudly says. "I also fuck like a nympho bunny and cook like there is no tomorrow. I also have a sense of humor, so don't think you're gonna piss me off and get me to run away screaming or crying. I think you're funny as fuck and I have questions that need answers."

"Oh shit, I've got a live one this time. Looks like Tattoo is in trouble now... So, what lies did I tell you?" Being a bit of an ass is just Tattoo's standard running mode.

"That's not where I want to start. Lets start back befor you got drunk. Back when you got my name tattooed on your ass. How in the fuck do you know me?"

I don't know you at all... you said your name was Mandy? It was just a lucky guess..." Now he's sure he have on his most winning and innocent smile.

"Trying to lie to me won't work either. You want me gone you will have to throw me out and even then, you can't, we came back to my place." Mandy is enjoying herself knowing very well what Tattoo is up to. Their senses of humor just click so well.

"Well of course we did, I don't hear my wife screaming at us so we are not at my place..." This is the last ditch effort. I'm really trying to set her free. My life is not for everyone, or really any one.

"Your a funny fucker, and your not married." Mandy just laughs him off.

"I'm not? can you read minds now?"

"No, asses. Your's currently says Mandy. Unless you just by chance married a girl with my name, what woman would have you with 'your name is Mandy' on your ass? Besides, no tan lines on your finger. No woman would let a catch like you out without a ring on and most likely a tracking app on your phone too. The other Mandy would have been knocking down my door by now if she existed."

"Wow, you're good. Maybe I better marry you since your name is on my ass." Tattoo thinks, 'Sigh, she is too good to let go and it will be nice having someone around I can't piss off'.

"Nice proposal. I'll think about it, later. But you're not distracting me from MY name on YOUR butt."

"It was done in disappearing ink. See, it's gone already." I wave my ass at her and the words are gone.

"You're just digging it in deeper Tattoo. I was drinking water last night. I was stone cold sober the whole time. So why don't you just quit the shit and tell me the story you promised last night. I'm quite sure I'm insane but I like you and if your answers all add up I'll even take that half assed proposal you made me, if that's part of the price to hear this story."

Tattoo is rather stunned and thinks, 'Tattoo you stupid fucker, you stuck your dick in a bear trap. You in heap deep trouble boy. I like this girl and she is too smart to just let go... So I guess this is where I tell her everything, at least as much as I remember.'