I leave the guild early. I claim that I'm going to find something to eat because the kitchens aren't working yet. To myself I acknowledge that I'm escaping to find refuge with Laxus and Mirajane. Not a cowards retreat, because I had no fear of my guildmates themselves, but a way for me to clear myself of spite. I don't want to remain hateful to people I care about no matter how intolerant they may be of me. Even if I had been expelled from the guild in first confessing with Gramps I like to think I would try to remain as non-begrudging as I could.

I'd probably just get angry though. I don't like to consider that.

It wasn't as if I couldn't understand it either. The more veteran members were brought up in a time where it was even more of a crime then now. They in turn ended up teaching their children that such acts were wrong and the cycle continues on for decades. Grey isn't to shocking I suppose, he does have that type of natural disposition, although I wouldn't have guessed he'd be that against it. Maybe it was an influence prejudice in his case. Elfman made no sense to me. Lisanna and Mira both, were and are extremely accepting persons, they don't believe in hating someone without justification. So how had he become so blinded by community? Pride? Masculinity? That was possible... Maybe in knowing the persons as well as I do I can justify their views.

Lucy confuses me. She was born and raised in a family of stern values, high riches and a place in society not commonly stepped into. She would have been taught all of the most societal expected viewpoints of Homosexuality, likely being taught that it was infectious for the sake of the line. However, Lucy had run from that life, she was no longer wealthy, and she renounced her father and the upper class worldview in favour of earning and experiencing for herself. Surely her stubborn nature would have lead her to renounce their teachings. I had assumed she would have been the few persons I could count to be on my side. With her response though, I don't know how I feel.

"Oh dear, did it go badly Natsu?" I couldn't spot Mira immediately hidden in the shop as she is, though her nearly luminescent hair is bold in the adjacent window as she holds different styles of shirts up to Laxus, who I decide to be unentertained with his current situation. That is of course playing model for Mirajane as she comes up with a good style for him to naturally incline good will and disposition. The shop she is in is one of a more edgy appeal, not exactly what I had expected her to go for as to ascertain a positive vibe, but really, I would be really stupid to question her understanding of the nature of fashion.

She grabs a plain black tank=top with large strappings from the shelf this time, holding it in front of her as staring at Laxus's form.

"Uh, Mira? Shouldn't we try to make him look less like he just got out of a dark guild?" It seems to me that her focus is more on keeping him appear less commutative. Its weird, in a word.

"No, no, you'll see Natsu, don't worry about it." I shrug, I know Mira, she's almost ridiculously good with people, myself, less so. She nods to the black skin fit shirt and grabs a pair of camo pants with a leather belt, this time not bothering with approval, simply handed them to Laxus; he in due course of his attitude of shopping grumbled to himself as he made way into the dressing room. I do want to ask, it not as if I'm afraid of Mira after herself-resolution anyway, still I don't.

Laxus comes out of the room just as she shoots me a rather implicating wink.

Now, I have never really considered myself easily persuaded or vulnerable to manipulation. However; the man who emerged from the changing room was one I could hardly recognize, and it stirs me to believe I would do anything he so asked for but a fraction of time. It is of course the man I love, present in his cocky eyes, and sharp face, the muscle beneath the shirt so suddenly clear to me, but the way the clothes act on him seems so different from his usual dress.

My mouth opens to say something. It closes fast however, as my eyes catch on his pinched and reddened skin around his shoulder. Black ink marking around his bicep. "You got a tattoo?!" I want to say that it looks strange on him, maars his skin in a way I am almost uncomfortable with, my upbringing was of the belief that scars were natural but seeking to purposefully scar the skin was dishonorable. "What for?!" I'm close to yelling.

Surprisingly he grows fluttered, it curves my anger slightly, Mira gently coughs into her fist. Cocky eyes before me turn scalding onto her.

"It's in the hieroglyphic native language of the aboriginal people of Fiore. I felt it only right, I'm half aboriginal after all." That was not an impression I had gotten from him at all in the beginning. Although I do suppose it would be difficult according to Levi the aboriginal people were massacred in large numbers by the settlers from the neighboring land. The survivors went into hiding. Or changed their names for better protection. Mira makes a noise at the admission though, he turns to her shrugging. "On my mother's side. She taught me a little of our language and culture before she passed."

I trace what lines I can see, the rest hidden by his tight top. He hisses as my finger presses a little to hard.

"What does it mean?" Why is my anger always so quick to leave? His flustered expression has yet to dissipate, and I wonder at that. He mumbles, eyes to the left and far from me. I press my finger into the flared skin, he meets me once more.

Still mumbling: "It means Ethereal Fire Dragon." I'm a hot person: Yet nothing compares to the heat I feel everywhere at that admission, not all the nasty things he has whispered to my ears, not the time when he had arranged to go to a special beauty spot for my -rather made up- birthday. I did nothing to deserve him. Were we not in a public store, I would've kissed him, insuring that he saw stars.

He smiles down at me, and I do very much want to slap him because he knows how that affects my face. He leans to my ear bending down so that I don't get the opportunity. Whispering: "It also means: dinner tonight will lead to a night of fun."

I push him back. "You are such a fake! It does not!" He laughs, as I turn from his stupidity a snort escapes me, this; I ignore. I hear him laugh harder before his arm heavily descends over my shoulders. He is awfully comfortable here already as he kisses my cheek without any sort of caution. I could have stopped him easily, but that's often how he apologizes after he's done something ridiculous.

"You got so red."

"Shut up. Teach me a native dance and I might consider forgiving you."

"You want to learn a dance? Well, alright. I know a few. Can't say how good I am though. It has been awhile."

"Really?! I mean.. Good, I'll forgive you now."

"Okay tough guy."

"Shut up." Bastard laughs again.

--------------------------------------

The next morning is a large one in terms of implication, seriousness, and execution, not in that order. So I expected my waking to be sudden in attribute to my many stresses, next to Laxus while he snores like an animal, trapped in his grasp - I am very physically strong, more so then the average human, but that man has the biceps and muscle mass to back that up without much opposition.- Yet instead of jarring and abrupt it is a soothing return, there is a calm chanting in my head, and a distinct banging that is forming from outside. Seen as Laxus is not inside I can only presume that to be him, though I have never heard this from him.

In peering outside I find him facing east banging a very old looking drum and what I had thought to be chanting in the house, I realize is singing, so very traditionally. I hadn't imagined him capable of it. He seems entranced in the steady fast tempo of the drum and the fluctuating of his voice as he sings. I've known for awhile he is part native, but I have never heard him relish in his heritage until now. His father's influence no doubt.

His voice stops, but he beats on the drum without pause. "Song of the Salamander: it only felt fitting." He strums on the edging of the leather a little with his fingers before he heeds, sighing so loudly I see his chest rise with effort from his back. "I visited the tribe once. I wish you had been there. They had great tales of the grand dragons of the land." His attitude is solemn, and I can only think he is considering his mother. He rarely ever does, though it is not out of remorse for her passing, in fact it had been a much celebrated part of his life. That is not why he grows contemplative when considering her, although with something so sensitive, I think its best I don't know.

My understanding of parental bonds is shaky at best, and that's only because I cannot be sure I had experienced it in true form. Laxus has hated his mother for several years, though he doesn't attach himself to resentment of her as he did when he was younger as he so claimed, he more of just acknowledges that were she alive he would wish her dead. A disposition I don't think I should be the one to question.

The only thing he ever took of her to be of value was her enwrapping's in her heritage, he had always been proud of it. Odd, but I know him.

I dread the guild for they do not understand the layers that form his complexity, and indeed I do not believe they will even look. In being a part of them, I have come to the troubled conclusion that my guild is quick to assumption and only swayed away if we believe there is no wrong doing. Bias in their morale that nothing is neutral that all must have a label of good or bad. To many there, if they are blinded by this strong principle they will be confused of me, and hateful of Laxus. I worry of that.

Laxus can take insult, but not when it is directed to me, granted it is scarce that someone tries to insult a wizard, many citizens are simply too afraid to light guild or not. It is in this where we have frequent arguments, through many bouts of anger -admittedly- misdirected, I have learnt that his overprotective manner is really only because of his many attributed family problems. That is not to say they affected his psyche as so many claim they must have, no only in the way he treats those he considers important.

There is a man whom Laxus has known for a very long time who spoke to me in detail of some issues Laxus has with relationships; At the time I hadn't appreciated the effort, seen as this man was more aware of my boyfriend then I. -Envy; I have seen fit to largely displace in respect of their past, still that is to say, Laxus knows better then to keep me and him near each other often, jealousy is something I have a problem controlling apparently.- Onto the former dark wizard I have entangled myself with:

His issues are deeply rooted how his parents guided his perception. It is not that he fears me as unable to take insult, in fact he knows better then most of my own friends as to my capabilities. No, he takes such injury and overprotective stance over my well being because he fears loss, to an extent to even my own situation cannot grasp the reaches of. I do not think even he can state it privately, how much the thought of another death scares him. He fears that someone will take me from him, be that romantically or fatally, the thought has brought him to over compensate his paranoia. Though there is nothing I can do to prevent it. No matter how much I attempt to placate him in my competent ability. In the light of Freed's words, I have stopped trying, it is simply an aspect to which I have to accept with everything he is.

Hense, long in my elaboration I do wonder how forgiving he will be towards me and comrades as I come forth to my guild as a gay man, as a man in a relationship. Perhaps that was Mira's intent in her choice of clothing, a feeling of control, as it differs only slightly from what he would normally wear.

That, I can only assume is a question I will never have the true answer to.

"C'mon then pinkie." He wraps his arm over my shoulders, his coat creating a pleasant atmosphere of warmth just for us around me. Though my nerves are flaring so much, I just keep going over what the others had said yesterday, and I cannot help but consider that they may end up not liking me anymore. I don't want to think they would do that, not after such a long and mutual history. I don't dare voice it to Laxus, he is already on edge due to his own transfer here, I will not put him through to being concerned over my own stupid wonderings.

Still, here underneath his coat with an arm in imitation of his stupidly strong sleeping habits I feel almost confident. I think that is only because of his presence that it resonates within me as a type of familiarity. I know the guild well enough, the people there, still in presenting this new aspect of my life, one that I myself think of as a good thing, I worry that the commonality of someplace I have always felt comfortable will be lost..

To gaze at him now, I only find him glancing about him, so curious about Magnolia, though this is a part where we have been in frequent, it is such a different area then that which he is used to I suppose I can't blame him. In my thoughts though I am selfish, I just want his focus on me, as if I am far removed from anything else. A notion that makes no sense in rational, but I have never really considered myself a logical person, I'll leave that to Lucy, or indeed anyone else.

When the guildhall looms before us my elbow jams into his ribs, gaining his focus and attention. I think from his glare he resents the action. I snort at him, he responds in kind. "Go in first, Gramps is expecting you." I feel foolish in saying it.

"Nervous?" I push him to the door, not that it does much, he stands his ground with the stupid height and weight he has on me, yet he usually doesn't say anything more as he normally would have. He does loudly sigh before entering, his coat sweeping behind him as it does, blocking the entrance with his large figure, Were this any other situation I would be grappling with my own desire, as it stands I am simply too preoccupied with squeezing past and judging my family's reception to him.

We split near at the same time, I, to my normal table, lacking Elfman this time, though Grey remains. Grey I can deal with, no qualms necessary, out of everyone here I am the most accustomed to Grey's brand of shitheadedness.

Everyone from what I can see is raising questioning glances in my boyfriend's direction, whispering to themselves.

I have to wonder at that, its not as if they hadn't been informed that we'd be getting a new member.

I sit next to Erza: whom is observing with her natural tactical viewpoint, measuring him up. Laxus is speaking with the old man, both of them occasionally nodding.

Something is said which causes Laxus to blush slightly, I want to know what very badly what that is.

"Master?" Lucy questions first, her attention curious as opposed to the rest who hold a more offensive stance. The two part from their conversation, Gramps with a sigh on his breath and a tilt of his sud filled mug. Laxus meanwhile stands in a purposely intimidating stance, head raised with a pointed stare to all who dared look him in the eye, his resting expression that of dissatisfaction, a scowl without a need for effort.

"Ah yes, everyone, this is Lux-" Seriously? "He will be joining us from now on as I mentioned yesterday." Grey sputters beside me, and all I can think in response is 'and so it begins.'

I wish now, in a weakened thought: that I may be free from the bonds of family, instead with Igneel once more, he would care not who I sought to frolicate with. A dragon does as he -or she- pleases after all, answering to no one. -That is of course it is your dragon father.- I do not want to face the consternation so present here., yet this is the path I have chosen so must I follow it.

"No way!" Surprisingly Fullbuster doesn't shout, maybe he is affected by Laxus show of domination without virbal need. "He can't be homo can he? Seriously? He looks like-"

"Yeah, aren't they supposed to be more... girly?" Lucy responds, and I have the unexplainable -understandable- urge to bang my head against the table so that I may injure myself enough as to not face this complete moronic reasoning.

"Have neither of you ever met an openly gay individual?" Before I can do so Erza speaks, something I do not recognize hiding behind her tone. Lucy finally turns around blushing a little. Grey scoffs.

"Well no, but my father always told me... " She admits, at least it is somewhat gratifying that Lucy does not seem as prejudice as Grey or Elfman, more confused of how such relationships work. Which is something I can more readily accept. Erza herself seems unfazed by the notion, and I take that to be comfort. In fact she sighs so loudly I do believe half the guild is subjected to the sound of her disappointment.

This is where I decide to prove them wrong

."Lux!" I call him over, to Grey's disbelief, Lucy's fear, and Erza's raised eyebrow. Being who he is, and his -probably- unintentional subservience to anything I ask for, Laxus comes. Lucy at the very least tries to smile politely, Grey looks away severely displeased but not spouting insult. Erza stands with a kind relaxed posture as she holds her hand out for a respectful handshake.

"Lux, I am Erza Scarlet, pleasure to meet you." Following the unsaid leader of our team Lucy too stands up, albeit a bit more hastily, she doesn't hold out her hand, and stands instead at a large distance.

I almost think that being how he is with his hands Laxus will decline the warrior, but he doesn't, granting her hand a quick grip before withdrawing.

"Likewise." He's on edge so I'm slightly shocked he doesn't become more forceful. The resident red-head doesn't seem to mind.

"My deepest apologies for my teammate's attitudes." She pointedly glances at Grey who is occupied with sulking. "The blonde women beside you is Lucy Heartfilia. The one sulking is Grey Fullbuster. And of course the one staring at you with stars in his eyes is Natsu, but you already knew that." Not one to be smug about anything in her regular conduct, this is an exemption; tilted with a incline in pure unobstructed symbolism, were she anyone else I would have been surprised she figured it out, but its Erza so no, I'm just not, more bashful at the fact that I was staring at him with starry-eyed vision. In a mild response Laxus snorts, small, but powerful smirk in place.

"Yeah, I kinda figured, Natsu told me all about you guys, couldn't get him to shut up half the time." I roll my eyes, 'like you even tried' if I'm bugging him as he so claims, he really only ignores whatever I'm talking about, he doesn't do shit to stop me.

I almost get tricked into security.

"What a second! You actually know this guy?!" Again the iceman shouts though this time he seems more then a little angered, seething at the teeth. I stand to about to give him a damn piece of my mind, when I realize I am not angry right now, just upset at him. So instead of yelling as I normally do, my voice comes forward in a monotone disposition almost in the same manner as Igneel used to do when trying to decipher just what it was I had done.

"Duh, come on stripper even you aren't this stupid. Use your non-existing brain for a second." Once more in few days he looks ready to throw a punch, I don't care what he does at this point.

However, before he can Lucy stutters in with a whole lot of moisture on her brow. "W-w-wait a second... Natsu- your not saying that your..."

"You look afraid blondie." Laxus mentioned, not hesitating in showing one of his less amused faces toward her, one that I recognize to be mocking, jeering in dislike. I don't know why, maybe because of her obvious uncertainty regarding homosexual peoples. I have never pretended to fully understand why my boyfriend acts all the ways he does. We have not been together long enough for me to know his nuances to a point where I can judge his disposition instantly Knowing him as I do, limited in varent I can see the signs for when I may have to stop him from being... well a jerk quite frankly. Laxus has a problem realizing when he has crossed an invisible boundary into unkind behaviour. I know I am not one who can really consider this a fault, I am not much different, though are problems aren't the same.

Where Laxus will amuse himself through teasing, occasionally that will turn into something less fun natured to those who are on the receiving end, and he doesn't know when to stop or even when he's doing it. Mine on the other hand is simple situational obliviousness, usually it won't be a case of upsetting the other person unless they are particularly sensitive, however I can make them angry without realizing my own provocation. .

Odd, however, that Laxus has never upset me, or caused me distress even with this tendency.

Lucy steps backwards even further. Her arms now held protectively over her torso in a type of prayer position.

"Of course she scared!" Elfman yells, disturbing my inner peace -or seeking of it given the circumstances- his face one of rage and trepidation. 'You damn homo...." Even whispered it echos in the stunned still guildhall.

"Elfman Strauss!" That is when Mirajane appears, hands on hips, her voice pitched down an octave, and a horrible glare in her eye, matching her brother's bulking stature with pure resolution, even far away I can feel a strong magical surge, the first one I have felt in years from her. Although it isn't the appearance of her magic, not really, but she is intentionally scaring her brother into a moment of apprehension in discontent. Considering her past Mira always appears the part of younger child, in fact both her siblings were younger, now however, she holds the stance of a scolding mother. Not amused by her kin's words in the slightest.

"M-m-m-m," the man can barely make the rest of her name out, holding his hands in surrender and the woman in question grabs him by his ear with a tight held grip. "You will be nice, none of this bigoted behaviour! Poor Natsu's got enough on his plate without you being a complete- tart to his boyfriend! Be nice or I will make you!" Her voice isn't particularly strong, but it doesn't need to be, she has always had a powerful and persuasive form of intimidation, Elfman shuts up quickly. But I catch his horrified eye, he hadn't figured out what Lucy had meant, now that he does, I wonder if this will make him think of me as a disease too.