It was in the middle of the night when he heard a sound telling him his phone was almost dead. Drowsily he touched for it, until he discovered a girl between himself and the nightstand. Not wanting to wake her up, he slipped out of bed and silently walked around it until he had reached the bedside table. Rummaging through the drawer he looked for the charger and plugged it in the socket, knowing his brothers wouldn't appreciate a dead phone. 

The screen lit up as soon as the device was charging and he saw a text from Abigail. Immediately his heart was pounding in his chest. He doubted – should he open it? He was actually in a good mood since the girl lying in his bed now had given him the best blowjob ever. 

Well, if it was a text filled with anger he could just order her to distract him again. He opened the text and read the three lines. 

She had received her Christmas present and was grateful. The sentences that followed showed him she even regretted her behavior as she wondered if he wanted to give her another chance at all. 

Maybe he was an asshole, but after letting him wait for so long he wasn't going to answer immediately. Sure, he knew he had made mistakes but he was disappointed in their friendship too. He had believed it meant more; he had expected them to talk this out weeks ago. 

Furthermore he was a little skeptical – what if she got mad at him again? He decided to have low expectations when he would text her back tomorrow, when he would suggest to grab some dinner. 

. . .

Because of club shit Juice had to cancel their meeting twice, but a week later he was standing in front of a diner with sea view. He was early, so he leaned against his bike and lit a cigarette. 

A few minutes for six she parked her car at the lot. As she walked over to him, he felt a little awkward. Suddenly, the air felt heavy. 

She greeted him with a kiss on his cheek. "Hey," she said softly. "Umm... Are you in the mood for a walk along the beach?"

Juice shrugged his shoulders. He didn't know what she expected from him. He had already apologized a thousand times and she had responded to none of them. He wasn't going to do it again. "Sure."

Slipping his hands into his pockets, he sauntered to the beach. The weather was dreary, so the beach was quiet. There was a lot of wind, but he kinda liked it. 

For a long time they didn't speak. Abigail was staring at the ground and Juice sighed. 

"Maybe I should leave. If you're not going to talk to me, this isn't going to be a fun night. Maybe we have to accept that we can't fix our friendship."

Abigail looked up. "No, I'm not ready to accept that. I just don't know how to give a voice to my feelings."

"Well all those times you were yellin' at me or tryin' to seduce me you knew damn well how to do it."

She raked a hand through her hair. "I'm sorry. For letting you down. Until I saw the video I didn't realize how much I meant to you. Of course I knew about your feelings for me but I didn't know I was the only one... who made you feel like home here."

"So that's the real reason I'm here? Because you feel sorry for me?"

Unrest invaded his body and he quickened his pace, his feet feeling heavy as lead. 

"No, I don't feel sorry for you... It's just... I only thought about my own hurt feelings, not realizing how much you had hurt yourself too. And I didn't think about the betrayal of your former best friend either..."

He started to walk even faster. He didn't know why, he just wanted to be away from her. 

When she could no longer keep up with him, she grabbed his arm. Her action was so unexpected that he almost tripped over his feet. Her blue eyes stared into his. "Juice I'm sorry." A tear glided off her eyelash and she blinked it away quickly. "Our relationship was just... complicated because of our feelings. Not just your feelings, mine too. I just didn't know what to do with them. But at the same time our friendship was different than all my other friendships and I miss it. I miss you, Juice."

A week ago he would have forgiven her instantly, but now he had enjoyed himself with other girls he felt less depended on her. 

"Well if I'm honest I don't miss you that much anymore," he admitted. "I think I'm over you."

"Thats... great," she said hesitating. "But does that mean – does that mean that you neither want a friendship anymore?"

Juice stared into the sea. Of course he had lots of good memories too. "I still have your unicorn."

He didn't know why he said that. Maybe it was rather addressed at himself instead of  her, as a memory of how much she meant to him, even though he was instinctively trying to guard his heart. 

"I still have your wig."

"What?" Dazed, he looked at her. 

A red glow crept across her cheeks, making the jitters return to his stomach immediately. 

"When I came back from the hospital I remembered it was still on the roof. I wanted... to keep something from you. A memento of that night – before you fell. Something to have around when I was missing you."

He stared at her. When she looked back and saw his own longing reflecting in her eyes, he knew he wasn't over her at all. Not even a bit. 

Like magnets their faces were drawn to each other. For a very, very short moment he thought to feel her lips upon his, then she turned away her head and hugged him. 

"Are you really over me, Juice?" she asked quietly. 

Now she was standing so close to him, his heart raged in his chest. There was no point in lying, he had the feeling she could feel his heartbeat and already knew the answer. "No," he asked in the same soft voice – almost sounding ashamed. "Are you over me?"

Her hands glided across his back as if she hoped to find the answer there. "No," she muttered against his shoulder. "But I really like Davey."

He closed his eyes. It felt so unfair. As cool as Davey was, Juice couldn't deny that he was jealous as hell. 

"If I didn't need the club to stay alive, I would have stopped prospecting to be with you."

Abigail let go of him and looked at him in shock. "What?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "It isn't like it feels like a home there. To be honest I'm not convinced that I'm cut out for the life. But I don't have much of a choice."

"You'll find your place, Juice. I'm sure of it."

He dropped his eyes. "You told me yourself that none of the Sons have a healthy relationship, a normal family. I – I want those things."

She took his hand. "If you really want that, you'll find a way to make it work."

Smiling sadly, he looked up to her. "You don't really believe that. Otherwise you wouldn't reject me because of it."

She bowed her head. "That has more to do with my own insecurities than with you. But I'm with Dave now, Juice. I really like him. Even if you would leave the club, I wouldn't give up on him just to be with you. I'm sorry."

He wasn't surprised. After all, she had told him that she only went into a relationship if she believed in a future. 

"Is he okay with us seeing each other again?"

"Actually he was the one pushing me to send that text. Because he saw how much I missed you."

"And despite our feelings he isn't afraid something will happen between us?"

She shook her head. "He trusts me. And well... he's kinda sure of himself."

He chuckled softly. Yeah – that didn't surprise him. "He's a good guy. I can't pretend that I'm not jealous, but I'm happy you found someone. Although eh – I didn't like the way I had to find out."

"I'd never meant to go to Charming, but I didn't know how to wriggle my way out. I didn't want to tell him about the videos." She pulled a face. "But apparently you had no problem with that."

He smirked, shrugging his shoulders. "We're men, huh."

She chuckled softly, then she hooked her arm around his. "Let's eat. I'm starving because of the stress."

Juice looked at her from the corner of his eyes. His lips curled up as well. No – he wasn't over her. He was nowhere near being over her.

But as long as she didn't hate him, he didn't mind. He had learned his lesson: from now on he would keep his fantasies to himself.