Something feathery glides across my cheek, Shit, no not bed bugs again. Im slapping away the pest until my wrist was caught in a grip.

"It's alright, it's me." A baritone voice of a man, velvet and rich.

I peel my eyes open to a handsome face, blue orbs stare back at me lovingly. The sun beams the side of his face enhancing his features and eye color. "OH!" I jerk forward pulling off the covers wrap around our bodies, "Uh did we?"

"No, we didn't" he smiles, "I would never indulge in something without the woman's consent."

He says that but I look down to my body and his, we were both in our underwear under a blanket.

"Your clothes are neatly folded and steamed in our laundry downstairs, My maids are the ones that changed you while I ended the party."

Shit, the party. Jane, my mom.

"Don't worry. My friend took yours home, he seems very fond of her."

My Jane, alone with that man? "Uh, thank you but I do need to go and -" I try to get up but suddenly felt nauseous my vision doubles blurring out.

"Don't get up to soon, you might open the stitches."

I furrow my brows, "Stitches?"

"While changing you my maids informed me your head had several open gashes, like nail marks. I called over our private Dr. and he did an X-ray, it looks like you were pretty beaten coming here you had some broken bones."

"Uh - I told you, I fell down the stairs."

"Did the stairs also grab you by the hair? You had some bald patches."

The more I spoke, the deeper the hole I was digging. But silence is also an answer. "I was mugged earlier by a couple of -"

"Now don't you go lying to me, you came here with Jane correct? she is completely unscathed." his eyes took a dark turn. "Never lie to me again."

I gulped thickly.

"Now, I am going to ask you. How did you get those marks and broken bones?" The blue of his eyes were intimidating and I wanted to shrink and yet they had an effect, with just an inhale everything I held down from my chest erupted like lava. From my early childhood years, to my late father, to my now broken and abusive mother, only good thing being is Jane. Intently he listened, eyes darkening to everything that has happened more solely watching the tears glide down my face.

My mother was never the same since my father's death, fell into a deep depression. So severe she developed memory issues, the last thing she remembered before my father's death was a destructive thunderstorm hence why now she lives with PTSD's to anything loud. No job, nothing but the government check that we used to get by but with inflation it was only enough to keep our super run down apartment, never enough for food and sometimes no electricity.

Finally being of age I was able to get a part time job, and the school providing us with food packages we were able to eat regularly, I used half of my checks that were barely even five hundred dollars to get by and keep the lights on while simultaneously getting her expensive medications that only lasted a week before she was back to her abusive nature.

"I am exhausted." I sob. "I miss her, I miss him. I am just losing everyone."

As much as she beat me nearly half to death, she was all I have in this world. But I couldn't handle any more, another day of praying she wouldn't spit in my face or throw hot water on me. I was at the ledge but meeting Jane made me step down, someone who genuinely cared, who valued me and never strayed. Had it not been meeting her that day I would have let the darkness win put the knife to my heart finally ending the pain.

I sob and sob before he wrapped his arm gently around me, "Shh, you will never be alone again." Sensually he rubbed his "I won't let you be alone, ever again." His back rubs did the trick the trickling tears started to subside letting me sniffle in his wooden scent, it didn't hit me until now that my mouth was on his shoulder, a string shoulder at that. Massive muscles holding him up right and I moved away.

"Sorry about that." I sniffle trying to regulate my heart.

"Don't be sorry. I'm the one that should be."

"Why?" I gance to his stoic expression in confusion.

"For failing to realize just how unhappy you were, I would stare at you from afar and would see the sadness in your eyes no matter how much you force a smile."

Wait stare? could that be the staring that Jane was talking about?

"But we didn't know each other at the time you don't have to -"

"I have always liked you Justine, I truly always have." My heart ignites. "Your smile, your eyes" his face turning red as he looks down to the sheets distantly. "Your body and just your rich dark skin." he whispered.

My brows furrow, "What?"

"Oh nothing, it's just I have always been admiring you from afar and now that i have you this close I am sorry it took me this long."

"Oh, Philip" I sniffled.

"I refuse to leave your side, let me stand by you. I want to be with you, I want to help you, starting with your mother."

Shit, my mom. Locked in the basement. I pray she is still alive. "Uh she uh -"

"It's ok you were kind of tossing and turning in your sleep last night and mumbled she was in the basement, I hope it is ok but i would really like to get started today on her mental journey but first my on call Doctore's will tend to any wounds she might have."

Fu-cking Hell. How the hell did I slip up, my face must have gave away my real emotion and he smiles, "You were in the middle of a nightmare and kind of scratched me little in the process."

"I am so sorry."

"Don't be. Let's get up and make breakfast and we will be out."

Once again that day he flashed me the ivory whites of his smile, I was so lost in into his eyes I never noticed the real dark intentions, he extended a hand to me and I happily took placed my palm over it, never knowing this was my signature to the devil and down the metaphoric stairs I descended into hell.

***

True to his words, my life took another turn, my mother received the greatest healthcare I could never afford, refillable medications. After months and months of treatment My mother was back to me, with little to no memory of her wickedness, and I vowed to take it to the grave. Even as chooses to leave the state to start a new life in england.

"You're not coming mouse?"

I swallowed thickly, "No mama. I will visit. Thank you." A small hug that lasted to nearly an hour of crying and goodbyes.

"I love you coco."

"I love you too mama."

***

With Philip at my side I upgraded more in life, even finally being able to move out of that run down apartment and into a cozy two bedroom and two bathroom luxury. My job improved since graduating high school and I was making more money to get by, unconsciously falling deeper and deeper in love with him until I gave up the last piece of me. Under the stars we made love and I couldn't have wished for another man to take my virginity.

Everything in life falling finally into place until I noticed the cracks in between. Jane finally took a leap and opened her own flower shop after she developed a love and curiosity for the plants and due to such a high jump her and her mother had a falling out, I refused to not lend my best friend aid and pretty soon we were living together and her flower shop was doing so well it was paying the rent, while I focused on the light, cable, water and groceries.

I tried to ignore the looks, I tried to ease my paranoia but it wasn't possible. There Jane was, casually doing her own thing once again, and there was Phillip; eyeing her, drinking up her voluptuous figure; rippling thighs, clapping ass cheeks and bouncing titties. All she was doing was pouring water.

"Uh, wanna go out for dinner?"

He doesn't respond, eyes deadpanned on her stoically before sensually licking his bottom lips.

"Phillip!"

"Hmmm? yes baby?"

"Do you want to go out for dinner?"

"Lets go some other night, I'm not feeling it." He kissed my forehead turning on the tv, but I knew that's not where his attention lied.

At first i thought it was good thing, maybe he will open up to her and we could all be the three trio's. My boyfriend and best friend, an idea i thought would be harmless to bring up but both gave the same answer.

No, flatly.

It was hard to understand him and his motives, from the way he constantly brought her up into everything, I thought it was safe to assume he was opening up to her. But one night, I would get the answer I searched for and would leave bruises in reminder, it was just like any other evening, we lay in bed after he brutally took me from behind. I collapse onto the bed, damped in sweat heaving onto his chest.

"That was amazing baby," I smile to him trying to peer up. Sensually he pulls me upwards kissing my forehead.

"You know I give one hundred percent in bed." he chuckles.

He never needed too, his shaft was thick and long enough to always hit the spot. "But tonight was just amazing, what got you so pent up?"

he doesn't respond only chuckling, leaving featherly traces on my skin.

I nuzzled into his body, "I bet it was Jane wasn't it?" I jokingly say. The feathery traces stopped.

"What did you say?" he says above my head. There was something off about the tone. I peer up to sinister eyes.

"Nothing babe it was just a joke?"

"You think you can Joke around about that and think it's ok?" I feel him tensing.

"Wha- what no? i jus -"

"Well what if I fucking called you a whore? huh? what if I told you that you were nothing but temporary pleasure just for my dick huh?'

"Phillip I -"

His eyes going red, by now I was off the bed across from him, his shaft sways left to right, "Your a greedy whore you know?" he chuckled maniacally, the blue innocent orbs swallowed in red. "Maybe I should tell my friends to have a share at you since it's so easy." he turns collect his clothes.

Whatever nerve I hit was struck and I fling to his side, "Phillip wait I -"

"Get the fuck off me you whore!" Blinded by his rage he swung his elbows, the impact whipped my head to the opposite direction sharply. Vision turned purple with the raw taste of iron on my taste buds.

I struggle to remain conscious but was slipping quickly, instead steadying my breathing I lost control sobbing, when the pain crashed like bricks. Did Phillip just hit me?

"Shit! Oh fuck baby I am so sorry."

Strong arms wrap around me trying to hold me upright.

"Yo-you hit me Phillip?"

"Hey, hey, look at me it was just an accident." His palms hold my face steady, I try to stare at him but saw double.

"Listen, hey, listen. Have a seat."

For the first time, I was afraid of him, but wanted to pursue any more. I sniffled complying, "It was just a joke Phillip, I'm sorry."

"Let's not ever joke like that again ok?"

My vision clears and I am able to peer into his eyes, his dark eyes. Vigorously I shook my head in understanding ignoring the creeping headache. Fighting back tears as he raised his hand to glide it by my cheek.

"That's a good girl." He smiles, and with a blink the darkness was gone and in poured the light. "Now, why don't you lay down and I'll get us some tea."

From that night on, I told myself never to bring up such jokes again. Instead stood from afar swallowing every pain and jealousy. Weeks have passed and It seemed things have gone back to normal for a while, I never saw that side of him again for a hot minute, I wondered to myself was it all a dream?

The Philip I love so much came back to me, making it up with excursions and surprises. Though that feeling in my gut refuses to subside but forced it to the back of my memories thinking of only the best parts of our story that is until He shows up in the chapter.

It was only supposed to be a small trip, a simple getaway to well ... get away from stress. Phillip and I planned a hiking trip to Germany, and this time I insisted on inviting Jane.

Hesitant at first but she agreed, and together all three of us fly to a new country, With my own eyes I wanted to confirm the theory, to put it to the test. I will never bring it up to him again but it still confuses me.

If he doesn't love or like her What's with the staring? Or to bring her up in conversations that never have anything to do with her?

"OMG we're here!"

Jane cheers from afar clapping eagerly looking out the window, I smile to her before peering slightly to the man across from me, his eyes never left her. We make our way to the grounds, Janes mood instantly changes seeing the horizon.

"Umm, is this a detour? Cause I can wait in the plane while you guys -"

"No, we're here. Now step down."

I was taken back by him and instantly sent a glare, a smile came and went and he then apologized. Hmm, it seemed he liked talking to her that way unprovoked.

Control.

Miles and miles we walked until reaching the mountains, her annoyance reaching it's peaks; bugs and anything that didn't involve the A/C was a no go, yet for me she sucked it up. Entering the deep mountain forest my observation cut short by an overwhelming sensation. As if the trees came to life by our presence, the skin on the back of my neck shrivel as if I was being watched.

Unable to point out the where exactly it was coming from, but someone or something was there. Glancing slightly behind me, noticing Jane's new worry; it would seem I wasn't the only one.

"Let's camp here." Philip says, placing his bag down on a large rock. Who new just after those words, the change I was not expecting was about to begin. Maybe if I could have predicted the future, would have told Jane to stay beside me, I would have left with her but instead let her wonder off alone, he watched her walk away until she was out of sight.

"Come here." Phillip calls to me, a smile gracing his face. A genuine smile like the one from before when we first met, "Give me a kiss." Words he hasn't said randomly in a long time, a simple gesture that's common amongst every couple but a deeper meaning to me, I can put my worries to rest, he still liked me. I valued something to him.

What was a simple sensual smooch turned into a moment of pure bliss, out in the open allowing me to forget the worries that was creeping into my veins.

Jane returns as we were gathering ourselves from our passion, a frantic look in her eyes. Before i can question anything myself the bushes rustle, holding onto each other while Phillip stands in protection, out the deer jumps, we watch it hop away, I want to relax my shoulders but for some reason was still tense. Could that have been the worry I was paranoid about? the whistle of the forest answered back at me, No it was not. 

One thing was clear to me that day, My Phillip is still mine and Jane was still and always will be my sister, but the very demise I set myself for came back with karma a hundred times greater. Events I never want to replay ever again, the memory of my best friend nearly dying and held captive still haunts me to this day, all because I wanted to find out if he still loved me. The three of us went, but we came back with four. 

Rowan is his name, undeniably handsome and built with a great physique of height and muscle. I was and is still eternally grateful to him for saving her life, failing at the simplest task I was supposed to do by bringing her out there. Even when she tried to hide it, I know when he is in the house, I always knew when they'd go at it. 

The walls were very thin, even with her face buried against the pillow, the thrusts were very brutal. Most nights I couldn't help but feel jealous, playing with myself wishing to join them. It didn't take rocket science to figure out that there was something between them, and unfortunately too many people caught on to the same thing. 

The once Phillip that I knew suddenly changed overnight, abusive and spiteful, seemingly in annoyance at Jane, sex was different, he love his hand around my throat, calling me names and just flat degrade me. With Jane being occupied now, she was barely ever home and when she was, she was cooped up in her room. It was starting to make sense, I was starting to point out the obsession, it finally clicked than when he accidentally called me by her name one night.

I was never his love interest, I was just his decoy. Jane isn't his demographic choice but it burns in his chest that he can't have her, he cant make her bend to his every whim like most women, she will bite back and has. Someone he wants to dominate, someone he wants under his control but uses me to get the best of both worlds.

A fool, an idiot, everyone is free to call me what they wish, but I still want to remain beside him, hoping one day he will blink out and see I was Always right there. Phillip helped me to where I am today, it was he that got my mother back to normal in no time, he didn't even know Jane when we first started talking, at least that Is what I was hoping.

I am fully aware of how that choice came back for me in the end, and now it is a tool used against me to keep me beside him, not as his woman but as a material of information. One rejection and I was back to square one with my mother not being at my side, did I want to risk it? being all alone? 

The tears brim staring at him in the eyes the once blue that is now tainted in black. 

"Is this book hers Justine, answer the question." He spews darkly.

A tear gliding down my cheek, finally breaking out the sob as I nodded 'Yes'.