Justine's POV

"Ready to go little mouse?"

My mother spews in our native tongue as she dug her slender fingers into my silky hair massaging my scalp —A silent attempt to win me over—.

Moving is always the hardest part of my life, my father yet again dispatched to a new country. For one final time I look around the empty home, nearly brought to tears. Six years this time, wasn't bad.

I thought I could raise my hopes up this time, but I knew better. Nothing lasts forever and there is nothing I take with me to my grave when my time has come, My mother taught me.

The friends I made on this journey, the school, playground and plans I had for the future have all diminished the second the sound of the front door came to a click.

I wipe a tear, but the others soon followed uncontrollably. Soon my porcelain skin was painted in red from the excessive tears I cried. Glancing around the current cul-de-sac that will bury in the back of my memories, I notice than two little girls my age running around in the park. Screaming, laughing and just full of Joy, never knowing what it's like to not be able to experience an unstable childhood, not concerned whether or not growing up together would even be promised.

Though it isn't of his control, I couldn't help but direct My anger to my father and mother. With tears blurring my eyes I watch my old home fade; shrinking further and further away before disappearing from sight.

Another Goodbye, farewell to my school, teachers and friends. I'll soon be a distant memory to them as time goes on.

Once more I have to face my fear, fear of being forgotten.

I vowed to myself that day, never get attached ever again. No sense of crying over anyone anymore, nothing will truly last.

It was easier to live that way.

I was my parents one and only, no sibling or cousin of my age. Only friend that I have been taught were family, and my mother and I were best friends despite the age gaps and different thought process, she made it easier for my life at home but I knew she couldn't protect me for too long, I need to stand on my own two feet.

Suck it up, they are doing this to provide the best life for you.

Silently each passing day I recite a message to myself, temporarily subsiding the pain until I become a full grown adult. I will have my own free will and choose my own path. My own promise to myself, Holding onto that message ightly as time sped by.

Eight other homes came and went and so did the friends I established. I became stoic and hollow of my surroundings not even bothering to make an attempt, everything I needed was at home with my mom - until that changed.

A very unfortunate day and the saddest memory of my life.

Just any other regular routine, study, eat and repeat, all seemingly going well. Yet a particular day I felt something a miss, a boiling anxiety crawling in my veins leaving and comfortable heat in its tracks. The sky was the first sign that gave it away, the usual blinding sun was hidden behind clouds, clear blue sky darkened to gray in the distance.

Strange to see such whether in what is called 'The Sunshine state'.

Throughout the day that feeling never eluded me occupying my mind with the possibility of bad news.

"How was school?" my mother greets me, a large smile on her face while the wind blew her mocha strands. Everything normal with her, maybe it was just the weather. I pushed the feeling behind me, that soon faded. By the stroke of midnight the heavens wept with rage, branches flung around occasionally slamming against the glasses.

I watched outside from the window standing distantly, trees were ready to be ripped off the ground, rocks swirling around by the wind until flung violently to the windows.

All in all there was only one worry sitting in my chest, the reason to my unease, My father. My brain swarmed with him, praying he is alright. He survived the worst of the worst in Romania, and I just knew he would always find a way out of every situation, I recite my prayers that night kissing it off to the heavens. Hoping it could possibly be heard by the angels, but I still worry.

By the stroke of midnight, the rage subsided leaving the sounds of light drizzle outside, my mother sound asleep in the darkness of night while I nuzzle in her arms, The peaceful serenity was than interrupted by the sudden ringing of the house phone. My body jerks upwards, heart fully ignited as both my mother and I giggle happily. Despite the anger of the heavens they still received my messages, my father is calling and will tell us he will be coming home soon.

With a kiss to the forehead my mother prances out the room, a wide smile on her face while I snuggled into my blankets, embracing the warmth from the chill. For what felt like minutes I was bestowed with an unsettling quiet, my smile fades as the sound of rain grew heavier dropping to the ground like an applause, a change of mood thickened the air and my unease returned.

Furrowing my brows to A sound.

A soft cry in the hallway followed by sniffling as my mother sobbed to someone over the phone. My feet refuse to remain and I was sliding myself off the bed to creep my head to the hallway and headed to the glowing orange light downstairs. There I see my mother on her knees with a hand placed over her heart, the phone still in her ears but pain was evident on her face.

"Mama?" I hear myself, surprised I hadn't noticed I crept downstairs without a sound.

She jumps, whipping her head to me, eyes red and glossy while drool lingers on her lips. A debated look in her face looking up at me from head to toe, "Come here" she tells me, extending her slender arms.

A significant change of mood and temperature when I stepped out of the dark cold and into the warmth of the light, but the feeling that followed was more noticeable, a sorrow. I stood above her while she was on her knees, "What's wrong?" I ask fighting back the tears of my own.

For once I had hoped she would lie to me, I hoped I was in a dream; maybe dozed off when I was looking out the window watching the thunderstorm like it was a television program.

But even if she gave me that satisfaction, her eyes already told me the truth.

"I-Im sorry." she whispers to me. Dough eyes gloss up with water, "I- am so sorry" she repeats, voice going hoarse to the pain erupting from her chest, "Daddy isn't coming back this time."

The words I thought I would only hear in my worst nightmares. The world is silent around me, only that of a deafening ring, my vision threatens to whiten before the smell of apricots brought back the color. Soft silky strands of hair tickle my skin as my mother hold me tight; wrapping her slender arms around my body sobbing onto my shoulder.

"Daddy is always going to love you coco."

Coco.

Nicknamed after the sweetest coconuts I had in Jamaica. The reason to such is not because of Unusual display and name, but because during the greatest heat it quenches the thirst for many, saving many lives, I was my fathers life savor. The reason as to why he joined the army, me being born with Coronary Heart Disease, resources were limited and making ends meet was scarce, I'd be lucky to get dinner after school on certain days. My sickness only grew with the weather conditions leaving me bedridden with an oxygen tank.

Times were scary but my father knew of every outcome, he knew there was a large chance he wouldn't make it, but seeing his only daughter in such distress he didn't hesitate to lift the pen and seal his fate.

Day by day since than My body regenerated, bony physic filling with flesh, my health progressed and I was able to run freely and live a somewhat decent life. I hated the idea of having to constantly say goodbye nd become someone's closed chapter out of a book but it came with its own perks; Vacationing to various, diverse and cultural places of the world.

Who knew that such a silly little name, now had a great story and impact on me down the line.

Billions of people can call me the same name, billions can have silly annotations and meanings to it and tones, but none of it will have the same impact, none will be the same, because none of it will be from him, my father.

A single drop of tear fell from my eyes and I blink excessively, reality hit me like a train, my father is not coming home, I will not see his gelled hair, or the clean shaven baby face, nor smell the unpleasantries of burning ashes clung onto his clothes.

More importantly.

No more Coco.

That did the trick, I fell to my knees snuggling into my mother's breast finally releasing the sob clawing out of my throat, the fire in viens ignite and I sob loudly. For the first time my prayers were answered but it seems it was only to call him home. The heavens wept with my mother and I as we remained in the mini light holding each other, unsure of tomorrow, but certain that we would always have each other.

That day marked a new era; never again will I distance myself from those I love the most. Or be angry at petty things.

***

Two things that night I was unready for, My childhood coming to an end and losing not one but both parents that night.

Five years have passed

The days have passed me by, but who was counting?

"I'm off to school," I speak to my mother, she didn't respond as always, staring into nothing distantly. Brown orbs stripped of life as she sat on the couch safely away from the bright television, the reflection from the screen bouncing on her face.

"Don't forget to take the medications, you are meeting with the Dr today."

I am cautious to not step to close, afraid of how she will react if she senses me this time, will she recognise me? "

Here," gently placing a glass of water and pills beside her and backing away. I don't remove my eyes off her until I am safely behind the closed door finally letting out a deep breath.

I need to calm my nerves, don't cry, don't cry.

My nose stung and the tears threaten but I remembered than my black eye. With an inhale I was able to collect my falling nerves in time for the bus. The streets of New York were never any surprise any more. Homeless civilians lying on the ground and gangsters doing business on the corners, my mind occupied with my mother, hoping she could try and live at least just for me.

Some kid behind me suddenly screams right into my ear and I winced deeply, rolling my eyes to the obnoxious that interrupted my thought process. My Romanian anger wants to throw him out the window, but the anxiety wants to laugh it off instead.

I need to drown out the noise, but the government money isn't enough but keep a roof over our heads, Fridge always empty due to my mother's medicine and clinical records. Never any extra money lying around for a phone. Life took a sharp turn but in the end only I could be able to guide it.

But can I do it alone?

The empty seat beside me suddenly dips, a hypnotising smell of peach filled my nostrils followed by heavy breathing.

"Oh Lord my booty isn't meant for these small seats." 

A girl, by the sound of the sultry tone. Im hesitant but gave a slight glance, voluminous curly hair draped her face, large breast sat high on her chest, a mini swole of her belly with massively wide hips. Even as she sits on her side I can make out her voluptuous physic, the bus rounds and the morning sun hit her glass, the glow of her dark skin sparkles like diamonds, my supposed small glance deepened to a lingering stare and before I knew it her eyes found mine.

Dark brown orbs with the shape of siren eyes, lashes curved to perfection with plump glossed lips. Clean - cut brows, and a button nose.

"Are you ok?" Her mouth moved as she leaned her head in to meet my gaze of admiration.

Clearing my throat, "I am sorry." My social anxiety refused to let me say anymore and I was ready to turn back to my but than, she giggled.

"I-It's alright, I know I'm sweating a lot." She laughed.

How should I respond? I have never been social, since ... well, ever. I nodded instead settling to a compliment, "I really love your hair, it's beautiful." I wasn't lying.

It was like staring at the finest art, women that look like her in Romania keep them the same way, and change it up whenever, one day they are braided than the next they defy gravity, turns out it's a trait only with women with that type of hair, but only blessed with her deep rich skin can be creative.

"Thank you." She smiles genuinely.

"My name is Co - .... Justine." The sound of my own name was almost uncommon. After years of crying, the pain was finally subsiding, one step at a time.

"Pretty name, I'm Jane."

***

From then on Jane became my other half, carving her way into my heart and have been living rent free. Inseparable, glued together, my true friend, my best friend, my sister. Every deep sorrow I ever had faded when she would call me, to a point I harbored a small secret.

Could I admit to her when she is around me, my heart slightly skips a beat? For a while I questioned my own feelings, could it be because I opened up myself too much? Or haven't been exposed to anyone knew. Neither the less, she never suspected, it was well hidden with our bond.

An author she was trying to become, someone whose story would like to make impact on everyone around the world for those would buy it. I knew so many and I shared so many.

More time have passed than, and we became sophomores, with my life falling into place my youth expanded, dates, friends and party invitations. All which would be rejected if Jane isn't right there with me.

Where I go she goes, Vise Versa.

"Please!" I nearly beg to her over my new phone.

"No" she says flatly over the line before being bombarded with background noises.

"Ugh, why?"

"Because the last time I went they wanted me to have a wet tee shirt contest."

"You have huge titters, I would give my life savings to touch them." I retorted trying out my new jeans in the mirror.

"You always do it for free" she giggles.

I blushed.

"Alright," she sighs "I'll go, but I won't be near those old money boys that follow you around."

My heart suddenly skips a beat, old money boys. Philip, getting his attention was like an adrenaline to me, I didn't understand my fascination for him, but all I knew is that I want him near me every day and all day.

"Focus! I know you're dozing off, thinking about the blue eyed one."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes you are," she scoffs. "Be careful with him Justine, he rubs me the wrong way for some reason. Always staring."

"Staring?" I was caught by surprise, my body slowing down to listen carefully. This was new to me.

"It's just that he always stares at me, too close and just ... I am uncomfortable."

A trait I hadn't noticed, my Jane uncomfortable? It just wasn't going to work. "Alright let's just go and I will avoid him." Such atrocity boils in my veins.

"Thank you," she says gratefully. "Alright I'm getting ready I'll call you back."

We smooch and hung up the line. I brush my lashes once more before heading for the door, with little to know attention my heart fell seeing my mother standing on the other end.

Her once silken mocha hair now colored with gray strands and thin bald patches. "Your up?" My chest heaved in fear, shaking as I reach out to her.

"So you think you're better than me?" Like a squeaking noise, Her throat dry And blistered before heaving a cough.

"M-mom please."

"Who do you think you are? You're not better than me," she laughs maniacally. Something shimmering around her hands, a large brown belt. I swallowed.

"Your ugly, your a brat." She spat getting closer. "No one wants you, your the reason my husband is dead you piece a shit, it should have been you!"

I prepped for the belt bracing for cover with my arm to face but received a deadly kick the stomach. I fell to my knees coughing and gagging, the taste of iron and spit rise up on my taste buds. My eyes watery peering up at her before protesting the sting of the belt slashed right across my cheek. I screamed in agony but the my stomach was too numb.

"My husband would have been alive hadn't it been for you!"

I feel her claws digging in my hair trying to rise up my head, "S-st-stop it." I run out of breath trying to fight back. At least to free myself from her grasps, though she is as thin as a needle she holds a punch.

"I hate you! I hate you! you should have been dead not him."

Without knowledge I grabbed the first thing underneath my bed, survival instincts drive my movements and i swund something around hitting the cran of her head, the grip she had on me released and and I hear the sound of a thud. I am afraid to look back, tears running down my face while I sobbed out loud waiting for her to retaliate, seconds go by and I don't hear anything but the sound of my broken breaths.

Hesitantly I turned, vision blurred from the tears before clearing, feet? Lying lifelessly on the carpeted ground. My mother lays on the ground flatly, a red gash in the side of her temple.

"N-no, mother?!" I flung to her side attempting to shake her when I felt something cold wrapped around my palm, my baseball bat, steel metal now tainted with blood at the top, No. This isn't what I wanted, I didn't want this, like fire I threw the bat to the wall proceeding to shake her, my heart started to even out than when I felt her pulse, she is still alive.

Why was a part of me upset?

My chest relaxes, she is unconscious not dead. Series of debates bounce around in my head If I leave her here she'll wake up and come for me, now that she aint dead she will beat me ten times harder until I am, maybe the hit brought her back to her senses? or maybe will giver amnesia. All in all I needed to think fast.

The basement.

My stomach sore from the kick, but i limped with a purpose, straining to pull her down the stairs into the dark. As much as it hurts me to do so, Its necessary so she wouldn't hurt me nor herself. The key in my pocket and the door sealed with no window to escape, still in her slumber.

***

"You're not going to dance?"

I blinked out profusely and winced from the heavy beats of the music, bodies of dancing figures and a dark blue room. Glow in the dark accessories around their necks.

"What?" I scream to the individual beside me. No response, "Jane what did you say?" I glanced over and swallowed my words. A pair of blue orbs looked down at me with concern, blushing furiously, frantically searching for Jane who I swore was right next to me.

"Your friend is over there speaking to a friend of mine." he points. In the midst of the booming music is baritone voice still rose goosebumps on my skin.

There Jane was, speaking to a very handsome man under a red light. He stood tall with with a fit physique. "Who is that?" I asked, We knew so much of each other and I didn't want to allow anyone into our small space.

"His name Is Kevin."

With the sound of his name I felt a chill down my spine, shivering from the discomfort. Uncomfortable and my brows furrowed, "Uh I'm going to go and che -"

"Don't worry she will be fine." He smiles and I melt, pooling into his touch the second he gently wraps his hand around my bicep. Thick green veins decorate the back f his hand and suddenly I wanted them around my throat.

"Let's talk" e screams over the loud music, "You look like you need a shoulder to cry on.".

We enter a room up the stairs, I feel my muscles unclench and loosen to the silence. "Why are we here?"

The lights dim with a large bed in the middle, freshly made with mints at the center of the satin pillows. White sheets smoothly layered and tucked in with a bear cub rug in the center, and a scent of wood I awed at the rich decor but gasped feeling Phillips body heat behind me.

"Sorry," he whispers into my ear. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"Uh, you just caught me by surprise is all." My heart soaring at the touch of his fingers against my arms.

"Did I hmm?"

They trace gently to my breasts, "Philip -"

He chuckles, "I'm just teasing, Go on have seat," he rounds next to me turning on the lights before plopping on the bed.

"Philip, what if the owner comes in?" I whisper yell.

"And?" A mischievous smile on his face.

"And ... won't they mind?"

"No" he says. "I don't mind"

"Wait wh- what? this is your -?"

"I thought the front lawn would have gave it away" he chuckled. "Hence it proved my theory, something is wrong." he extends a hand to me, a soft look in his eyes. For the first time I followed the beating of my heart, looking at him in the eyes as the butterflies flew with joy in my stomach before wincing deeply.

"What's wrong?" he asks concerningly rising from the bed.

My hands wrap around my tummy, "It's nothing I -"

"You need the bathroom?"

"No!" How embarrassing. "I just fell down the stairs earlier and the pain has not subsided.

"You fell down the stairs?" Something about the tone was off, as if not making any sense.

"Yes." I say flatly.

"Than here, have a seat lay down and I'll get you something."

Effortlessly he lifts me bridal style, my cheeks burn with need feeling his skin around me. I sunk into the cushion of the bed, watching him walk around hastily signaling to his maids and butlers.