"Laugh out Loud, girl that strain sounds like he broke your back type fuck" Tanika laughs. Her voice through the phone made it seem like she was speaking through a microphone.

Cringing hard from the noise "Girl, there could be nearby civilians."

"Did you think about that when you were learning the alphabet all over again? out in Public?"

My legs wobble going up the steps, slow and jelly like, still delirious and happy from the moments prior. My cheeks burning from the nonstop smiling I'm doing. He actually admitted it, he loves me, never in my world did I think I would stand a chance with a beautiful man like him, he's everything from my Wattpad fantasies, but so much better.

"Oh uh, by the way is that option to stay with you still on the table?" after a moments silence.

"Yes girl of course, I need you away from that chalky Skinwalker, trusting her is not the best thing."

Breathing out therapeutically "Perfect, thank you."

"Did something happen? you were against the idea before; did she do something?"

I fight to not bring up the images of before, I always knew she deserved better than him, even if me and her aren't on talking terms, he crossed a boundary that was never supposed to be crossed. "Uh, it was her boyfriend that did something, more like tried?"

Shuffling is heard on Tanika's end, voice crystal clear and loud "Did he touch you?" my silence was her answer.

"Girl, oh hell No, where were you? why weren't you home?"

Yea Jane why didn't your dumbass go home? instead go to bar? but then again, I never should have left my house in the first place; things only went from bad to worse to ... well, that didn't count.

"I uh was at dinner with his grandmother and uh."

"Why were you having dinner with Philips grandm-"

"No, not Philips grandma, Rowan remember?"

Tanika remained silent, "Uh, What?" I could have sworn I told her, now I'm confused.

"Wait I didn't tell you I was having dinner with Rowans grandmother?"

"Girl, I leave you alone for a day and you're crawling back into the trenches? what were you doing with that witch? what you mean dinner?"

I was astonished at how I never got the chance to tell Tanika, wait I was going to, now I remembered, I was distracted by ... Cameron's dad. Welp, I guess tonight is story time, "Gurl I have a lot to catch you up on, let me just get my things and I'll Uber right there."

"At this point, fuck them thangs, how you know she didn't hide a rattlesnake in your sheets?" Tanika's words always found a way to make me laugh, but the pain in between my legs was not having it.

"I'll call you in a minute."

"You are hanging up? no gurl that's dangerous." Like the mom she is, voice stern.

"I'll be fine, I won't speak to her, I'm going only to get my things."

"That's your bestie, I feel like you'll fold when it comes to her." I can't even deny that statement.

"I'll see you shortly." we exchanged the goodbyes and hang up, the wince came back ten folds and I occasionally had to pause, breathe and regather my strength. My mind solely focusing back on the Jungle Man, each step brought back those explicit memories, I couldn't help the smile.

Rowan is a dream come true; tall, strong, beautiful and ... normal. I winced from the painful tug of my pussy going up the second to last step, after hours of what he just did to my body, normal was just not the fitting word, he is a beast. I swallow thickly to the last word; I wished I could have seen the damages done back at that bar maybe than I would have known just how scary he can really be. Is there a darkness spewing in him that I just don't, see? Either way the man once again saved me I will put everything to the side.

It isn't over, I am now faced with another challenge. I could feel all the happy feels evaporate leaving a chill down my spine while I face my door. Am I really going to go through with this? Moving out? I have lived here for almost nine years everything I need is right around the corner. Tanika made it clear I'm welcomed to crash at her house but leaving my home and comfort to sleep on a couch or the floor or even being an extra mouth to feed made me cringe deep inside. As twisted as it sounds, a part of me is still hoping Justine will have finally decided to come clean and maybe than we can sort things out, I can try and push the fact that I was nearly groped and touched by her boyf ... No. What the hell am I saying?

I could swallow the universe with the deep breath I took, my heart races, despite everything happening this was the challenge I couldn't stand the most.

Why was the doorknob so cold? oh, wait no I'm just shaking, maybe it was my anxiety. It'll help to silence my thoughts, don't overthink things, you owe her no explanation, go in and get your things. Words spoken by the wise, thank you Tanika.

It felt like I haven't seen the place in Millennials, within first glance I could see the light above the stove, once more I breathed out, she is home. Silently I crept, not in the kitchen or the living room. Perfect, then I don't have to see her face for right now, I was beginning to think maybe she wasn't home until I heard a thud in her room with slight shuffling. I couldn't help but shiver, her boyfriend molested me. That thought alone was ready to spew tears, goosebumps tattooing my skin - but I need to get out, surely Philip has probably contacted her by now to give his lies-.

Of course, when I want to be the quietest everything around me wants to be the loudest, when did that loose floorboard get there? Deeply I cringed to my door opening, God damn, what's really the point anymore? Vigilantly I remain trying to gather my belongings the pain in between my legs didn't make anything better, everything going smoothly in silence when all of a sudden, I felt a presence behind me, there I met her, more so those dough red eyes, she glances at me and my belongings until she glided down my body. Hair disheveled while she occasionally sniffles. Has she been cryi- No, nope not my problem, the same way I shouldn't even allow her any of my time right now.

For what felt like the final time I did a one over of her body, has she put on some weight? the white t shirt she sported looked larger than her regular ones, and black leggings. I felt tears brim and turned away to continue packing, I felt her stare at me the whole time. Moments go by and I gathered a suitcase, might not be enough but maybe I'll come back for the rest, a part of me is still hoping shed say something, or anything at all.

"I-I-read the new chapters" Voice soft and raspy, before she sniffles again.

Well, I mean anything ... but that. I remained silent, I see anything I say will be used against me, especially since only Justine can identify Rowan and Kevins attacker, it was best to not say anything random and think it through. "Is-is- that what you really went through ... because of me?" I can hear her voice breaking while she whispered the last words.

I paused to breathe, she was so close to the door and the pain in between my legs was on fire, I'm not letting her tears move me like it has before, why wait until now to come clean?

"You know," she sniffles, planting her back against the door frame "I always thought Philip was out of my league" she stares into nothing on the ground, eyes void as if she's memorizing something. "In my mind I always wanted my best friend and boyfriend to get along so that way things would go swell in between the two ... but instead," she huffs "Instead It put me under a light where I feel like I have to choose."

Her eyes glanced back to me "Never did I ever want anything to happen Jane," her eyes brimming with unfallen tears until she blinks. "I am so sorry, it's because of me Cameron is in your life, it's because of me Kevin is back because I couldn't respect you enough." Her sobs broken, could this be her finally coming clean? is my anticipation over? No, I mustn't lower my guard just yet, though it seems she is spilling the right words I couldn't help but feel like it's a setup somehow.

Burying her face into her palms, she sobs, wheezing from the lack of breaths she is getting in between, My teeth nearly break through the surface of my tongue, I want to console her so badly. Hug my best friend, but where would be myself respect? but that isn't the only thing, there is something else she wants to say, with everything happening it has taught me one thing, there is never a real ending silence.

Someone will want to get the last laugh, that made no damn sense, but I get what I mean.

Sniffling thickly, her hands finally dropped before she uses a knuckle to wipe away a single tear bead, my goodness even the prettiest people will look like ogres even when they cry. "I-I see now, I haven't been the best to you Jane, But"

Bingo.

I couldn't deny the tug in my heart. Swallowing the pity, I felt for her. Mind on full alert.

"But could you please just - just delete those pages?"

"Wh-what?" I felt like I was punched in the gut, bile quickly rising while my mind turned into popcorn.

"I fully accept, I haven't been a good person to you, I have done you wrong for so long and there is no way I can ever make it up, but ... but Philip isn't a bad man Jane, I swear. This ... this could ruin his business." Her voice trailing off in the end, it doesn't even look like she was sure what she was talking about.

I stare at her stoically with my eyes on her, but my mind went far. All of a sudden, the visions of our past plays in front of me, this was the same Justine that always had my back, this was the same Justine that always makes sure I was never left behind, treating me better than my own family, going out of her way to look for me in that terrifying jungle, was this all in my mind? or was it just me, forcing the real feeling off my head.

This isn't the first time Justine has chosen Philip over me, but its damn sure the last.

"No, Justine, No I will not delete those pages, for cries sake you read everything I went through, and your first instinct is to tell me to delete them to save your boyfriend?" I scoffed, tears brimming at the betrayal.

Tanika deserves her ass eaten, she was right for the billionth time, in the end it is everyman for himself.

I can see the sobs threatening to spill out form her eyes, face turning crimson. "Jane, it's just that ... "

"Just what Justine?" she remains silent.

"God, just how blind am I really?" I scoffed, looking away when a few tears fell. I blame my mother for this, maybe if she wasn't so strict and toxic, I wouldn't have to rely on just anyone to show me attention. Hearing this from my so-called bestie of more than two years felt like a blade going through the heart, the tears were the blood spilling. "You were never really there for me all this time, were you?" I whispered hoping she didn't hear it, my heart screamed for me to say it.

"What are you talking about Jane? Of course, I care for you. I care for you so much." she sniffles "That is why it's important for you to get rid of those chapters." her face goes stoic, her eyes trying to convince me.

Making my annoyance visible "What do you need to say Justine? I need to go." tugging on the suitcase.

"Jane," she whispers carefully. "Philip isn't who he really is."

"I guess I was around his good side long enough." I laugh sarcastically.

Justine steps in a little closer, cautious of her words and surroundings, "No, Jane please, he isn't what he appears to be, far crazier and more dangerous than Kevin, I would hate for you to -"

"He almost raped me tonight." Saying that made go out of breath. Like bullets the tears fall, I can feel my dress soaking up the wet stains. Though my vision blurs I can see her arms falling to her sides, processing every word. thickly I sniffled, I would have been happy forgetting his hands were ever on me for the rest of my life, but it looks like I might have to relive that moment all over again.

"Wh-wha- what?" her eyes were wide, but she quickly softened them, almost as if the words were familiar.

Pinching the bridge of my nose, calming the burn until I rose my head up, "I so happen to stumble into a bar, he-he was there. I tried to leave but he threatened me."

"Stop."

"Forcing me into a room in the back with him."

"Stop Jane."

"He kept saying it was a kink for him."

"Jane"

"I fought hard to -"

"Stop Jane! holy fucking cow shut up ok, just shut up."

I was taken back by the outburst but didn't give her the satisfaction; never ever has she raised her voice on me before but then again there was a whole lot to the puzzle piece I was too bling to see in the beginning. I watch her look everywhere but me, shocked with the whole thing before her eyes trailed to my clothes, drinking in fabric before they trailed to my face looking at every feature, a glint came and went in a flash, but I caught it.

Moments of silence before it was broken, in a breathy whisper she finally speaks "Were you with Rowan tonight?"

An electric bolt went through my heart, the very name I was worried she would say, but why say his name? "Why does that matter?"

Her eyes linger on my face, scanning at everything but my eyes, she huffs a smirk through her cries before sniffling thickly. "What happened to us?" she cocks her head to the side menacingly. "I came to you with the sole intention of trying to break this thick silence between us and ... you pull this?"

Like she grew two heads I stared at her "Pull what?"

Her eyes look down my body in response, remember when Cinderella's stepsisters tore her dress? yea, good movie. Peering down I scoffed cringing deep. Why did I not stop to think the sex with the Jungle man is always sloppy, my clothes looked like I was attacked by kids; colored with dirt while residue of grass stick to the bottom fabric.

Talk about animalistic sex, that would explain all the side eyes from walking home earlier, how cringey.

"This was - well I - he touched me than my boyfriend came to save me an -"

throwing her head back with a smirk "Oh, that's right the same boyfriend that has been catching bullets for you since day one, right? the same person you said that came to save you with Kevin and whomever else? you know it's funny somehow, he is always there to save you ... always." her tone is mockery.

I can already feel where this is headed, her true colors are showing. Clenching the handle "Is there something you're trying to say? if not step aside."

"I don't even know what to believe anymore, which is it, Jane? which are you going to lie about? Philip may be all things but not a rapist."

And there it goes, but luckily, I was prepared for the betrayal, her eyes wide but glossy, intently I stare before scoffing at her ignorance, "I guess his social group wasn't a big red flag, was it? I have actually entertained you for far too long Justine, you were never who you put out to be and that's shameful, goodbye." I don't give her the chance to process before I started tugging on the suite case. Her red eyes never leaving mine.

Thick silence bestowed the apartment, I try not to look around. Years of memories only to be ridiculed and betrayed in the end. But this is what I prayed for wasn't it? to have the bad plants removed, I guess it starts with the ones that was in the same pot as me. Reaching the door handle I sighed annoyingly when she finally spoke.

A breathy tone that didn't hide the pain, "Jane I - I "

"Our friendship was never real Justine; I was the one who pushed you to be with Philip in the end, but of course love is as blind as it is stupid."

"You just don't get it do you, your stuck in your own little world all the time, blinded by everything?"

I'm sick of everyone saying that, as if I have to pay attention to every single detail, what about my life? no one is focusing on that ... wait what?

"See, you're doing it again, in your own bubble."

"Justine you and your boyfriend live happily ever after and -"

"He doesn't love me ok! ... I'm just a decoy." her voice trails light.

if I wasn't confused before, I'm triple the confusion now. My eyebrows nearly fused together, "Wh-" before I can finish my phone buzzed loudly, Tanika. Peering between the phone and the crying individual in front of me, I knew it was a decision I needed to make. This one would lead to the future.

I watch her vison fade until the door comes to a complete close, Goodbye Justine.