I have officially fallen victim to the stalker faze, the term 'feeling of being watched' set an all-time high, this is what I get for fingering myself out into the green horizon, a land that isn't mine, yet I soiled them with my pussy fluid. I should have followed my gut feeling when it told me to turn back, this was the second time I ignored the warning and the consequences came a thousand times harder than Rowan's doggy style thrusts, I'm a zombie.

The thought of Rowan brought me into a low mood, not only did I now discover I've been watched from the beginning, but I have become someone's side pleasure, the very two things I feared, I can just hear my toxic mother rambling on about the situations I can't control. Humiliated and broken, I don't even think I know what bothered me more, Rowans Girlfriend or his grandmother being a complete stalker, invading my privacy like this. I'm no better, I listened to detective Justine Timberlake go to town on someone over the phone and shamelessly played with myself.

My mind blank, I can't feel any emotion, even as I walk right through the protesters, I bet they are loud but all I can hear is the ringing sound of silence. Left to right I'm being bumped from the reporters and the women's march, my unstable balance allows me to be tossed around like meat. Just when I thought my life was finally taking a turn it always ends up crashing and burning one way or another. For some reason Rowan is what is bothering the most, I hate him, I hate how I allowed myself to be easily fooled yet again, I hate how he is all I think about, I hate his beautiful face I hate his monstrous dick ... I hate how I can feel myself crying to the thought of him and I hate my heart for beating at the thought of him.

I never wanted to see him again; I blindly trusted him, and he let me down. I felt the hot tear drops fall on my shirt, the noise came back, and my ears nearly exploded I'm losing my balance being shoved from all sides, I walked right into a protest while my mind wondered away, I can't locate a proper exit everywhere I turned were women and or police from all sides shoving and pushing. Near the man with the brown suit was a small opening to freedom, hastily I walked trying to stable my footing when the riot soon turned violent, shouting and brute force, the women were being tossed and manhandled. Soon I would have been mistaken for a protester and would have found myself on the ground in handcuffs, near the exit I almost got to before I was suddenly shoved so hard, I flew right through the crowd. I felt the wind knock out of me when I received a blow right on my nose leaving behind a stinging burn, the man's elbow made harsh contact with my nose nearly breaking my skull. The ringing in my ears was deafening or maybe I already went deaf. My vision blurred and spinning, not helping me keep my footing at all, stepping with one leg over the other.

The crowd of women roared back throwing tampons from the brutality, throwing used tampons and paint onto the officers, not holding back as they pushed back in sync. My head was still spinning and with one more shove I was suddenly out of the crowd. Into the chill, no people, no crowds but a tall Beaming light that seemed to be coming directly towards me with full speed. Blinking out repeatedly my mind finally stabled and a different roar made its way through my canal, they were all screaming together in warning. Looking back at the fuzzy figures I caught looks of worry with eyes wide as saucers.

What are they looking at? What is going on? A few turns away shielding their eyes while the rest extend their hands towards me. I took a step only to fall on my knees, the pain from my bones shook me out of my deliriousness and that's when the sound of a trunk honking made way to my canal, shattering my ear drums with its speakers. Slowly do I turn my head towards the blinding light nearly having to crane my neck, bright white lights coming from the sky, like the Angel of death.

This time it wasn't my curiosity, it was a mere accident, but it looked as if I wouldn't be able to learn from this one. My heart was strangely quiet, I don't hear it at all, normally it rams in my ear like drums giving me the opportunity to think logically but even it could see now, it will be the last time, a chilly wind swallows me blowing backwards, my clothes clinging to my skin, wind kissing my scalp, the honk was louder the closer it got, my cheeks were icy from the tears, I thought they long subsided but they never stopped this whole time. This was the end for me, my mind is the only thing spiraling --playing back everything I am going to miss in life--.

I won't get the chance to see my toxic mother's face, I won't get the chance to watch my book become successful, the more the thoughts came the faster the tears came down. I won't get the chance to see my future kids, I won't see Tanika and how things play out for her, I won't get the chance to see how well things play out for her sister, but most importantly I won't see ... him.

Those cerulean blue orbs that stole my heart the very first glance he turned to me, that face created by Greek mythology itself, that voice of thunder, the way he treats me like I'm the only woman in the world for him. I can hear my heartbeat than and slowly do my eyes open in a realization, it all came to me now, how much I'm going to miss him the most, the man I loved all this time.

Rowan Muller, I'll never get the chance to tell him in his face how much he meant to me even if it was short lived. The wind became so powerful it blew me back bracing me for the one hit impact, I can hear women screaming and crying at my demise. I had nowhere to turn to until my body was suddenly lifted off the ground, I watched the world in speed as gravity pulled me with great force and I was rolling over uncontrollably. The truck speeds by with an angry driver missing me completely, I see stars but not because I'm looking at the sky, but because I'm so dizzy, I can't even blink properly, breathing was painful, oddly painful, something nearly squeezing my lungs flat morphing me into the rocky ground.

My sound soon came back, and I was met with a roaring of applause, the very people that stood there doing nothing were celebrating my second chance in life, little do they know this wasn't the first or the second. That'll give them something to really applaud, again death missed me despite nearly touching me, the person on top of me shifts and I hear a deep groan, that's right my savior. I felt my eyes brimming with more tears than ever.

With my voice cracking "Th-thank you." I mutter. Through the lightless street his face was a mystery, strong arms than plant next to my head lifting himself off the ground and off my body. The roaring applause of everyone didn't stop yet my sole focus was the one who saved my life. Who were you?

The lights of the helicopter beam down on us, normally I don't like the spotlight, but I didn't mind it now, the wind coming down on us pushed his scent into my nose letting me inhale a greedy amount of sweet ... coconut. My chest began to heave violently, the same sweet coconut smell that makes me smile with pure joy. Could it be who I -

Strands of blonde hair blow into my face, slowly does the man raises his face into my view, Cerulean blue orbs look down at me in worry before I felt his palm rub my cheek feeling me if I was still warm. All I could do was stare at him intently until my view became blurry.

"Jane" he says to me.

With a large smile "Rowan." I sniffled wrapping my arms around his neck tightly, sobbing onto his neck.

"Shhh, I'm here. I'm here" he whispers, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Does she need medical attention?"

"Take her to the hospital."

All at once everyone chimes in giving their thoughts and opinions. The riots have stopped but no one has gone home yet, my head lays on Rowan's chest while he carries me bridal style out of the crowd. I could lay on his chest forever, I could be in his arms for the rest of my days but of course my mind has to remind me, he doesn't belong to me.

Although walking felt like I was stepping on marbles, I still would rather do that than to be carried by him any longer. "I'm fine here." I almost tumbled taking a step before he was already there to catch me.

"Come Jane please." He says trying to lift me up again.

"No, I said I'm fine, please just go you have someone waiting." The man literally just saved my life for the third time, and this is how I repay him by telling him to politely fuck off. Did he follow me? He was still talking to Goldilocks when I ran out of that house.

"I'm taking you home." My God his voice is so deep, he is so caring and gentle with me ... and it's really starting to piss me off, I should have just left the second he kissed that girl but foolishly I stayed behind listening to them play wife and husband.

"I know where I live, please just go, go back to your whoever she is." I don't give him a chance before I started my wobbly trail the wrong way to my house. Strong hands gripped my bicep before I was turned roughly; back hitting the wall softly, "what are you -" I swallow my words seeing him right above me.

Maybe it's because I was almost flattened cartoon style by a truck, but my heart seems to be pumping hot blood through my body. "Don't bring her up" he whispers, lips near mine. "Let me forget my fake life and enjoy the moments that make me alive, those moments are with you."

Goddammit heart can you stop pounding this hard.

"Go away Rowan," I try to duck my face away when he softly grabs my chin, forcing me to look up to him.

"No."

My blood boils, why can't he just listen "go away Rowan." I try to repeat with a darkness, but who was I scaring? He presses his body right into me, a very massive bulge in the middle of his legs, I can feel myself drooling while I melted into his embrace. Head dipping to the side of my neck both his hands trace from the small of my back to my ass all until they hook under my right knee to bring up his waist "Make me."

In anger I suddenly found a force I didn't and with both hands I pushed him off me, he doesn't go back far but the fact that he moved at all made me feel like Wonder Woman, I must have caught him off guard and from the look of shock and confusion my hunch was correct.

"Jane." He breathed trying to get close to me before I halted him.

"Stop, alright, stop it!" My Voice echoed into the empty void short cut.

Cocking his head to the side "Please, stop what?" He whispers.

"This ... stop saving me."

"What?"

My thoughts exactly, what the hell am I saying, cussing him out in my head was better. "Stop being there for me, stop risking your life for me,"

"I don't understand?" I don't either.

The tears fell like pebbles, my vision blurry peering up at him, anger and pain become my emotions and I can't find anything stable but to release. "You saved me so many times from my stupidity, each time I see you I can't even think straight, all of this is your fault. You had to come into my life and mess it up, I was doing fine screwing my own life on my own, I don't need some sexy German to do it for me."

Jane, girl, shut up.

Still in confusion his eyes go soft, eyebrows rest from the furrowed, a glint of sadness "what have I done to displease you?"

"Make me fall in love with you!" My voice was so loud the light on the window on top of the wall came on, out came an angry elderly woman with large purple rolls in her hair.

"Pipe it down or I'm calling the cops." The New York accent is prominent.

Neither one of us peered up at her, she left after feeling an awkward silence scoffing. I said what I was thinking out loud and I couldn't take it back, there was a light in his eyes, like a soft gleam with a ghost of a smile. "You love me?"

He didn't hear it the first time. I refuse to give him the satisfaction "You saved me from a Lion, you saved me from a human and now a truck, you constantly put your life on the line to protect me, and all I've done was get you scratched, stabbed and rolled. I am trouble, you should steer clear of me." My voice broke with the last sentence.

"Y-your grandma was right." My heart fell to my ass, with two large steps Rowan is right in front of me a dark glare makes me swallow and yes make my Pussy cream.

"Don't ever say that she is not right about anything, she doesn't know anything ... especially the way I feel about you." He whispered the last sentence.

"Countless of times she told me to stay clear of you and I would never see you again."

"Like I told you before, I was of no use to you if I couldn't speak your language,"

I scoffed, resisting the urge to not look into his eyes, suffocating from is sweet essence of coconut. "We're just not compatible Rowan, since we got together what good has been done to us? You getting stabbed? I almost died three times, and the whole time you had another woman?"

"I don't have another woman, Jane; I haven't been with any other woman but you." his deep blue orbs glow into the dim fading orange lights of the bricked alley. I could see it, his genuineness. I want so badly to just have him wrap his arms around my body. But as Tanika would say, stand your ground.

"It's over Rowan, were done, its over whatever this was its over,"

The silence was deafening, "No". His voice dark and deep, shivers trail down my spine at such a random answer, "No Jane, I'm not going anywhere, especially after not being here by your side all those years." I feel his arms wrap slither around my waist scooting himself into me, "All those years I have missed your scent," he whispers lowering his head to my neck. "Days went by, and I felt empty, void and hallow simply because you weren't near me."

His arms fully slither around my waist, the way I wanted them too, yet my mind and heart couldn't agree, one said run, the other said embrace, as usual my heartbeat was the loudest and I found my arms ready to wrap around his neck when I noticed a tiny blood stain on his left shoulder, like a scratch the blood coated his white dress short in a few patterns, light oozing. By saving me again, he got himself hurt, my arms slowly dropping, my expression stoic with my eyes trailing all over his body for more injuries until they land on his right thigh, a liquid seems to have soaked through the dark blue trousers, until I saw the red drops making a small puddle on the floor.

"You - you -opened your wound."

He doesn't look down to acknowledge it, just stares at me, he didn't even take a glance down at it. "Your leg Rowan, you scratched it didn't you?" Saving me again, out in public, Cameron's insects could be on a hunt and stumble onto him. I let my brain finally do the work, and with a breath I breathe out harshly. "It's over Rowan, please just go back to your grandmother and whoever she was, there is no future with us and they're never going to be."

Not even I could believe the words coming out of my mouth, but they were painful to say, I nearly lost my breath with how much my heart pounded. So bad I want to take it back, but I need to practice standing my ground no matter how much I want to crumble. Even after all I said he remains, a look of sadness made me want to crumble.

"Jane," his voice broken "Please." for the first time I can look at him in the eyes for more than three seconds, but his sadness was my downfall, the edges of the bricks scratch my back through the fabric as I slide away from the man in front of me.

With my back to him "I hope you achieve happiness in the end," I swallow my tears, while my breath shudders, "Bye Rowan." I can feel him take a step towards me, but I cower and sprint away feeling his eyes linger on my backside.