Tarwa: *awkwardly gets up on stage* Ahem... *taps the microphone* *feedback rings in the air*

Everyone: *cringes*

Tarwa: Woops...

Merry: *backstage* *rolls his eyes* *whispers* Come on!

Tarwa: Okay... *takes a deep breath* Hey guys! So here I am, awkwardly standing in front of you all. For those of you who don't know, today (April 30th) marks my one year anniversary on Wattpad! Over the past year I've found that people online think of me as very outgoing and crazy and a little weird.

Everyone: *raises eyebrow*

Tarwa: Okay, A LOT weird. Well, here's the thing: in real life, I'm not!

Everyone: *confused*

Tarwa: I'm not very outgoing ... I kind of just sit with two of my other quiet friends at lunch or talk to you guys. Don't worry guys, I have lots of friends in real life that are all so supportive, but most of them don't go to my school. It was like that for a while until April 30th 2014. And then, everything changed. That's when I met you guys!

You guys have given me confidence and allowed me to be myself! Thank you guys! The Tarwa you see on Wattpad? That's who I truly am. I'm not the shy girl who reads by herself at lunch time. I'm the crazy hobbit who fangirls with friends day and night.

Better yet, you guys have made me feel so amazing that I'm making so many new friends in real life! I really do love you guys. You're closer than some friends I have, yet most of you are on the other side of the world!

Anyway, enough of the sappiness. Let the One Year of Ridiculousness celebration begin!

*streamers fly everywhere*

Merry: *walks out* Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you...

*drumroll*

...Kíli!

Everyone: *claps*

Kíli: *walks out* You know that feeling when you love a beautiful red-head elf that you just met more than anything, but a really tacky blonde elf with a terrible taste in fashion just won't stop stealing her? You guys know that feeling?

*crickets chirp*

Tauriel: *in the front row* *rolls her eyes*

Kíli: Well, I'm in that situation right now, so I decided to make a little song for her.

Everyone: Aww!

Tauriel: *blushes as Kíli leads her onto the stage*

Kíli: Ready?

Everyone: YES!

Tauriel: *thinks it's going to be a beautiful ballad*

Kíli: Because you know it's...

Tauriel: Oh dear...

Kíli: ...all about this dwarf, 'bout this dwarf. It's Kíli!

It's all about this dwarf, 'bout this dwarf. It's Kíli!

It's all about this dwarf, 'bout this dwarf. It's Kíli!

It's all about this dwarf, 'bout this dwarf, dwarf, dwarf, dwarf, DWARF.

*points to Legolas in the audience* Yeah, it's pretty clear: you're not as great as me.

'Cause I can shake it, shake it-

Legolas: *stands up* Wait, but I'm pretty!

Kíli: She's got that those arrows that never run out

and if you need her help just give her a shout.

I see that ugly elf workin' that Photoshop

We know that stuff ain't real

C'mon now, make him stop!

*death glares Legolas* You ain't got beauty, beauty.

*leans over to Tauriel* Tauri, what's up?

Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top.

Tauriel: *blushes*

Kíli: Yeah, my mama she told me I'd make all those fangirls swoon.

Legolas: *gets on stage* Yeah, well at least I'm not three feet tall you crazy old loon.

Kíli: Yeah, well you are a stick figure silicone barbie doll.

Legolas: Well, that's how my awesome Ada and I like to roll!

Thranduil: Go Leggy-pie!

Legolas: *-_-*

Kíli: *walks towards Tauriel* Because you know it's all about this dwarf, 'bout this dwarf. It's Kíli!

Legolas: *shoves him out the way* It's all about this elf, 'bout this elf-

Thranduil: *jumps up and down in a cheerleader costume* It's LEGGY!

Kíli: It's all about this dwarf, 'bout this dwarf. It's Kíli!

It's all about this dwarf, 'bout this dwarf-

Legolas: Hey!

Kíli: I'm bringing beauty back!

Go ahead and tell all of your elf friends that.

Legolas: Well, I'm just sayin', at least we're not fat.

Kíli: *gasp*

Legolas: But, hey, Tauri!

Both: Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top.

Merry: To the chorus!

Kíli: I just love the sound of the great ship name "Kíliel"!

Dwarves: *in background* Shoo wop, wop, sha-ooh wop, wop!

Legolas: Yeah, well I love it when all those Ringers say "Taugolas"!

Thranduil: *doing cheerleader moves* Let's go Leggy, uh, let's go Leggy!

Kíli: That doesn't even rhyme in just the slightest way.

Legolas: I'm sorry, but I can't even deal with your face.

Kíli: *growls*

Thranduil: *jumps up on stage* Because you know it's all about the L to the E to the golas!

Kíli: But we dwarves right here say "Um, how about not?".

Thranduil: You'll never be as fabu as he! Right Legolas?

Tauriel: *facepalm* I'm so sorry, so sorry...

But you know I'm all about this dwarf, 'bout this dwarf. Soz, Leggy.

Dwarves: She's all about that dwarf, bout that dwarf, hey Kíli?

Kíli: We are the greatest ship of all. OF ALL!

Tauriel: But right now I wanna be by myself, self, self, self. *runs away*

Everyone: *stands there awkwardly*

Legolas: Where did she go?

Kíli: She hates it when we fight over her. -_-

Legolas: Well it's your fault...

Merry: Let's give it up for Kíli and Legolas!

Thranduil: And Thranduil!

Everyone: *cheers*

Merry: Now, for our next performance of the night, it's Pippin!

Everyone: *claps*

Pippin: *walks on the stage*

Merry: *whispering to Tarwa* Doesn't Pippin look great tonight, hey Tarwa? *nudges her*

Tarwa: Shut up...

Pippin: HELLO GUYS!

Everyone: HELLO!

Pippin: Tonight I'm going to dedicate my performance to Merry and Tarwa for being so amazing!

Merry and Tarwa: Aww!

Pippin: It's also dedicated to all those people who can't stand first world problems. The first part is about that person who always walks so slowly in front of you when you're trying to go somewhere! Okay, let's go!

*Ariana Grande's 'Problem' starts playing*

Hey, lady, even though you walk slow

I'm gonna push ya

(Gonna push you)

Because I have somewhere to go

Unlike ya

(Gonna push you)

Tell me, tell me, lady

Why can't you hurry?

'Cause even though I shouldn't push you

I'm going to

(Gonna push you)

Your head's in the clouds

You're not paying attention

You make me realise

I hate first world problems!

Merry: You are a first world problem.

You are a first world problem.

You are a first world problem.

Pippin: I've got a first world, first world problem.

Merry: You are first world problem.

You are a first world problem.

You are a first world problem.

Pippin: I've got a first world, first world problem.

*random music*

I know you're always gonna wake me up

Stupid alarm clock

(I hate you)

I know I shouldn't ever set you

But I need to

(To get up for school)

Every time you ring, yeah

I want to shoot you dead

I get a little bit reckless

With explosives

(I'll destroy you)

My head was in the clouds

You've disturbed all my dreaming

Will you please shut up?

My ear drums are bleeding!

Merry: You are a first world problem.

You are a first world problem.

You are a first world problem.

Pippin: I've got a first world, first world problem.

Merry: You are first world problem.

You are a first world problem.

You are a first world problem.

Pippin: I've got a first world, first world problem.

*random music*

Merry: You know I reckon

I'd be better off without you

But you won't

let me forget all about you

Why you walking slow?

I can't stand being behind you

Understand my life is easy

When I ain't around you

Merry, merry

To scary to be here stressin'

I don't like the thought of you

I can't stand your presence

And the best thing now

Is probably for you to reset

I let you ring

Then I smash

you with a huge hammer!

"No over-sleepin'"

Yeah, that's what you keep sayin'

I can't keep listening to you

'Cause it's hurtin' my brain

There's a million you's crazy dude

So don't be dumb

I got first world problems

And Pippin is one!

Like what!

Pippin: First world, first world problems.

First world, first world problems.

7-Eleven has run out of slushies

My TV's not working so I can't watch rugby!

Tarwa: You don't even like rugby.

Pippin: Yeah, I know, but it rhymes.

Tarwa: Good point.

Merry: *continues* You are a first world problem.

Why are there first world problems?

I don't get first world problems.

Pippin: I dropped my food on the sidewalk. *:(*

Merry: I really hate first world problems.

This song is a first world problem.

Can I please stop saying 'problem'?

Pippin: Yes, 'cause this song's nearly over.

Everyone: *cheer*

Tarwa: Well there you have it! I hope you have an awesome day. Thank you guys for everything!

Pippin: BYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEE!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Hey guys!

I hope you enjoyed that. I'm sorry if the parodies were hard to vision. They were hard to write because the characters were doing so many actions while they were singing.

Yup, I'm looking at you Thranduil... -_-

If you see this sentence, comment "Alarm Clocks are Evil" :P 😋

Anyway, I just wanted to thank you guys yet again for being so kind to me. Love you all! ❤️

Love, Tarwa