^ me being dramatic lmao

Hola

I had a math test on Monday and the questions looked a little familiar, and since we were allowed to bring our books for the test, I looked through mine and realized that it was the exact same questions that we had on a practice sheet a few weeks ago so I just wrote the same thing lol

I also had an English test yesterday and I think it went pretty well XD I finished first and we were allowed to leave school when we were finished (since it was the end of the day) so I started packing up to leave

I could feel my face go red because it was dead silent and I was trying to get my stuff and leave, and then my teacher literally walked over to me, felt my jacket and said something like "you know it's -30°c outside, right?" and I just aldjaldlsod

I was already drawing attention to myself, why did he have to come over and make it worse?? 😭😂

And yes, it's fucking freezing over here and my stupid school STILL WON'T TURN THE HEATERS ON

IVE BEEN ANGRY ABOUT THIS FOR NEARLY FIVE YEARS ALREADY ALISALSJAKS THIS IS CHILD ABUSE

When I got up today, the first thing my dad said to me was "welcome to the coldest day since we've moved here" :(

It was -34°c when I woke up, and it was probably even colder before I got up :(

This past month has been absolutely brutal, most days stay below -20°c and we've been having this extremely cold streak and I hate it, my body wasn't built for this and my immune system can't take it T_T

I had a weird sensation in my head this morning :P I don't really know how to explain it but it was like vibrating?? It felt like a truck was turning on in my brain

It was just fuzzy and buzzing and even my hearing wasn't quite clear, idk what that was about XD

But yeah, a combination of my head, the bitter cold and my crippling anxiety kept my home today :) It's just been a lot at school lately and we have this stupid project that's making my anxiety skyrocket so it's just been difficult lately :')

I can't remember the last time I've had anxiety like this T_T I've been on the verge of a panic attack all week long so it's just kinda stuck inside my chest, gnawing away at my health :') I've been having a ton of headaches and concentrating has been really difficult, plus I've been really nauseous because of the anxiety and I feel really emotionally fragile lol

So that's probably why my head was all weird this morning lol. I'm also gonna stay home tomorrow because I'm really only a step away from a huge panic attack and I need to get myself under control again lmao

I've already spoken with my teacher about the project so hopefully that's one less thing to be anxious about >_< I just wish I didn't have to feel so unbelievably guilty every time I'm home from school :')

Anywho lol

A new event started in Genshin Impact yesterday with a new character that the whole community has been looking forward to (Xiao)

It was torture being at school knowing that a new event had started, and every time I went on instagram, my feed was filled with nothing but Xiao drawings and I was longing to play :')

I've been playing a ton of Genshin Impact with my sister lately XD I've also been working on some Genshin Impact drawings, so that's been keeping me sane lol

So yeah, I've really just been spending my time drawing and playing Genshin Impact to sooth my overly anxious soul XD

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Me and Hannah were on a mission to get my mom to stop having such strong prejudices against anime lol, so we tricked our mom and started Violet Evergarden together :D

She's already cried to it 3 times so I think her opinion on anime has changed at least a little bit XD We only have one episode left and then we gotta watch the movie >w<

In case you don't know, Violet Evergarden is an anime about a girl (Violet) who was trained as a weapon for the war. She only knows war and killing, she doesn't understand anything about living a normal life and she doesn't understand feelings. So after the war ends, she begins on a quest to find out what "I love you" means, since those were the last words someone dear to her told her on the battlefield

She takes up a job where she writes letters for other people, and we get introduced to all these different characters and their stories and it's so touching and beautiful :'>

I HIGHLY recommend Violet Evergarden, it's so beautiful :'> I cried so hard to today's episode lol

Speaking of crying, did I mention that I'm re-watching Re:Zero for a fourth time together with Hannah? XD

Last night, we watched the episode that always breaks me and I think I cried again :') The first time I watched it, I remember I was on my period so I was already a wreck, and I cried and sobbed so hard to that episode that I literally had to take a break from that anime because it hurt so bad 😂

Also, we probably shouldn't watch Re:Zero at night because I've already had two dreams inspired by it lmaoo

I can't remember my first dream but I know I dreamt that I kept dying and coming back to life, but my second dream was a few days ago and I'm kinda scarred XD

I was sitting around a table with a few other people, and the girl next to me suddenly stood up and there was this big deal and she pulled out a gun?? She shot the girl on her other side, and then she turned and pointed the gun at me

I remember this part so well and I hate it!! T_T It was like time slowed down and I remember how scared I was, I was so scared that I never even heard the gun go off or felt the impact; I just saw her pull the trigger

So I looked down and saw that I had been shot in my stomach and there was so much blood T_T It was warm and painful and it wasn't a quick death, I laid there in a pool of my own blood, slowly and painfully dying and knowing that I was drawing my last breaths

I came back to life but I was so hysterical and couldn't do anything other than cry and scream because obviously dying would be pretty traumatic lol, and I was so panicked that I woke up XD

And then I had a dream that the creepy school assistant from 8th grade kidnapped me lmao

Anywho lol, I have three Re:Zero drawings on my youtube channel where I talk about those three characters I drew and about Re:Zero in general, so if you wanna know more about it and why I love it, go check it out :D

Re:Zero spoilers incoming :)

I say this every time lmao but I love the psychological aspect of Re:Zero so much!!

My heart breaks every time I watch Subaru die so many times and watch the people he cares about so many times that he just shuts down completely and loses his mind

But it's when Rem dies that I lose it 😭😭 My heart hurts every time the Witch's Cult takes off with Subaru and she says something like "first you take my sister's horn and my reason to live, and now you've taken my reason to die"

And then she really does die for him :( And Subaru had to watch her die in front of him :(((

His screaming does something to me 😭😭😭 But it's when Rem crawls over to Subaru, weak and dying, that my heart really breaks

And she tells him that she loves him and dies in his arms

RE:ZERO CAUSES ME SO MUCH PAIN AND I LOVE IT 😭😭😭😭

Now I'm hurting for another reason lmao

We just watched the episode with Rem's confession :') It's seriously the most beautiful and touching confession ever, you can't just watch that episode and not fall in love with Rem!!

And then Subaru, the biggest dumbass ever, really goes "I love Emilia" alxjalsjla YOU DUMB FUCK-

YOU CAN'T HAVE A REM AND JUST NOT TAKE HER??? THE FUCK????

He doesn't deserve her anyway, no one does >:(((( A word of advice to you guys: if you EVER find a Rem in your life, you better hold onto that person because you'll only ever come across a Rem once and you do not want to lose a Rem

Anywho, goodnight lol, I hope you guys had a great day XD