I have a lot to write about today, sorry OwO

Last night was kinda awful TwT I finally went to bed at a decent time and I was so sleepy

I don't know if I had a nightmare or if I was thinking of scary things before I fell asleep or something, but I had this sudden wave of terror XD Like, I just got this sense of doom and I was so scared

But I was in some state between asleep and awake I guess?? It didn't take long to realize what was going on though... It was sleep paralysis again T_T

It took me a second to realize it though so I just laid there confused, unable to move a single inch of my body and then it started to feel like my brain was vibrating, and then I got a strong feeling of being watched (like someone was in my room)

My heart was beating so fast and I was so scared when I finally snapped out of it, I had to use the flashlight on my phone and make sure I was actually alone in my room and then I had to watch an art video to calm myself down T_T

I must've been worried about something or stressed last night >_>

The rest of this chapter will be happier though! XD

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Thank god our school day was a little shorter today (it was still unbelievably boring though)

I can't believe my lame teacher is still giving us schoolwork when our grades have already been set

I'm not putting any effort into it, I don't give a fuck about work that is absolutely meaningless for my grade 😂 And it's from a chapter that we've never even been through before, so we haven't learned anything about that topic

Luckily my English + Norwegian teacher is super cool XD We got to watch the third years' volleyball tournament behind the school for a while, and then the teacher took my class out for ice cream and we got to leave earlier! :D

Mal and her "friend" sat with my "friends" during lunch break and for some reason, they had a soda bottle mixed with liquor??? They didn't want it and gave it to JT so she drank most of it lmao

While I was walking with JT, we started talking about alcohol and she said that what she was drinking wasn't that bad because you couldn't really taste it, then she offered me a sip

So I took a little sip and I was really proud of myself for being like "eh, it's fine" because I really couldn't taste it

But two seconds later it felt like my throat was dying XD WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BURN SO BADDD

At least since it was mixed with soda it really wasn't that bad, I don't think anything can be worse than some of the alcohol Amalie, Mal and I tried together... 🤢 That didn't just burn my throat, it burned the entire way down to my stomach and it felt like it was etching my insides

Now all I can think about is how many diseases I could've possibly gotten from drinking that, because I found out afterward that a bunch of people drank out of that bottle... :') I'm seriously so paranoid about sharing glasses/bottles with other people because all I can think about is herpes or other diseases T_T

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My friend group met up at Amalie's house tonight and it was nice to just hang out with them :D

We pretty much just spoke and ate junk food the entire time lol

I don't remember why, but one of the girls started naming one thing that annoyed her about each of us

Apparently nothing about me annoys her yet (she doesn't know me that well) so I was happy about that XD

Then we all started naming one thing we loved about each of us, so I got compliments from 7 different people and I thought I was gonna die >_<

I feel so bad though because I can think of a million things that I love about them, but I'm not 100% comfortable with them yet so I still struggle with speaking up, especially when all the attention is on me. So my mind went completely blank and I ended up saying pretty much one word about each of them T_T IM THINKING ABOUT SO MANY POSITIVE THINGS ABOUT THEM NOW THAT I WANTED TO SAY, I feel so bad ;w;

Honestly, I was so nervous and flustered that I don't really remember much but I do remember them pointing things out like how I'm creative and good at drawing >w< Some of them said that I'm really quiet, but they wished I spoke more because apparently the things I say are usually really fun or interesting XDD I was most definitely not expecting that compliment, so that was nice lol

I think Amalie said that I was smarter than I gave myself credit for and that made me really happy >w< And then they spoke about how apparently I'm pretty and somehow manages to pull in all the boys 😂😂 (which really shouldn't be seen as a compliment because I attract creeps XDD They make me sound like such a heartthrob and I'm really not 😂)

And then they started to point out how I always get really flustered and try to hide my face when they compliment me and it was embarrassing TwT I'm happy to know that they actually think such nice things about me though lol

I got a lot of compliments that I've never gotten before and I didn't really know how to cope with it XD I can barely handle one compliment, I thought my brain was gonna explode when I had 7 people coming with compliments lol. I DON'T DESERVE THESE WONDERFUL PEOPLE AHHH 😭😭💞💞💞💞😭💞😭💞💞

And then at some point, Amalie mentioned something about how I've wanted to be a part of that friend group for so long, and the others kept saying that they like me and that they're glad that I'm a part of the group and I legit almost cried because that's all I've wanted since 8th grade TwT ❤️❤️

The best part about the night was when we all took turns putting on songs so we all got to hear each other's taste in music :DDD I get so passionate and excited when talking about or listening to music lol

I love that R, T and Amalie also really like rock music, it makes me a little less self conscious about my own taste in music lmao. The older I get, the more I appreciate rock music and it's definitely my favorite genre now (and pop punk lol)

But for the longest time I was really self conscious about it because no one liked the same music as me ;-; So I was seriously overwhelmed with happiness when Amalie chose to put on "Dance With the Devil" and we sang it together (it's the first rock song I ever fell in love with :'>)

At some point I put on "Here For You" (shocker lololol) and I saw Amalie lip syncing along and I was seriously so unbelievably happy because I didn't know that she liked that song TwT

And then she put on a Linkin Park song at some point and I was dying from happiness at this point

I have some more songs on my playlist now thanks to this night! XD I love R, T and Amalie's taste in music 😌👌👌👌

At some point, I mentioned how I prefer music made with real instruments and both R and another friend immediately yelled "thank you" and started clapping XD

I'm so glad that people agree with me >w< So we had a discussion about how much better and more impressive real instruments are than techno music

There's just something so personal about music from real instruments >_< It feels like there's so much soul put into the song, you know? I prefer songs with meaning that really make me feel something XD The instruments, the vocals, the lyrics, I like when it all conveys an emotion or tells a story and really moves me

And I don't get that vibe from a lot of songs these days :/

that's why I like rock so much; so much can be conveyed and expressed through it and ahhh >_< The best is when the vocalist sounds like they're in pain and I feel their pain just by hearing them lolol

So yeah, I'm really not into all that mainstream music, I think that the majority of the popular music these days is awful :P Of course there is an occasional song that I'll like, but I think most of it is extremely shallow and I need something deeper! XD I can't stand shallow things =3=

What kind of music do you guys listen to? :D I will seriously be super happy for any song recommendations, I listen to just about everything so I'm open to anything! ^-^