So, um

I was gonna post my Venti drawing on Twitter, and-

Please tell me Genshin Impact hentai isn't a thing 😭😭😭😂

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Bruhhh

I fucked up lol

I just had my geography test and it was possible to get like 60-something points

There were a few of those check questions and then 3 writing questions, each worth 15 points

Guess who wasn't prepared for the writing questions and most likely just lost 45 out of 60-something points :)

I cant express my hatred for geography now lmao

I'm pretty sure I just got 10/60 points on my test :) I haven't done this badly on a test since 8th grade when I didn't give a fuck about school lol

This is what I get for waiting until the last moment to study lolol

Onto better news, my science report was perfect! XD My science teacher gave me a lot of praise and basically told me that it was perfect and there was nothing I could do to improve it 😌 Science is way more important than geography to me anyway =3=

I can't believe there's actually a class that I'm doing worse in than math lmaooo, I'm actually doing really well in math so far 😂

I'm just glad I don't have to stress about the geography test anymore lol. These last few weeks have been rough TwT I mentioned last week that I wasn't doing so well, and I ended up getting my period so I thought that was the reason why I was kinda down and even though that was probably still part of the reason, today I finally figured out what's really been bothering me! XD

It's been really annoying because like I've mentioned, I haven't been doing so well lol and I didn't really wanna explain anymore until I knew what was wrong, but I didn't know what was wrong, I just knew that something was wrong and something was eating me up from the inside ;-;

It was getting really bad and today was the breaking point lol. After a good cry I've finally come to the realization! XD

This time last year was really difficult for me. It was about this time last year that my walls came up and I withdrew into my own shell and just kinda isolated myself. I lost my best friend and I didn't feel like I had anyone anymore, I felt completely alone in this world - I've never felt so lonely, unimportant and unworthy in my life

My social anxiety has been a little worse lately and I've definitely been withdrawing from people, and I was so scared that history was repeating itself and I was gonna end up all alone again

T has missed a lot of school lately because of health reasons (if you're reading this, please don't feel guilty! Your health comes first 🥺❤️) and I haven't really gotten close to anyone else in my class so I've been alone at school

I haven't had the guts to sit with the rest of my friends during lunch for probably two weeks now... I don't even know why T_T My seat in the classroom just feels so safe and everything else feels so scary and getting myself to get up and walk out, potentially gaining attention from others, and then looking for my friends, hopefully finding them and somehow managing to talk with them is really freaking me out

So they must think that I'm avoiding them T_T Plus my school offers free oatmeal to everyone who comes before 8 a.m. so my friends meet up for that every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning, but I start Mondays off with PE so I meet up there instead of at school and I start later on Wednesdays, so I've only been with them on Friday mornings and I don't know if I've really even said more than "hi" while I'm there...

So yeah, it took me about a week or two to actually realize this but I've been terrified about losing my friends and ending up all alone and isolating myself again XD At least now that I actually know the problem, I can start working on it and fixing it (before my friends think I hate them OvO)

I just need to keep reminding myself that my anxious, insecure, stupid brain likes to trick me into believing the worst XD And believing something doesn't necessarily make it true, and I can't truly know what other people are thinking, my anxious beliefs are based off of nothing more than assumptions

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To some art studio news!! :D

My dad and some dude started working on the room yesterday! They finished the flooring yesterday, and they finished most of the walls today! :D Tomorrow they're gonna finish the walls, on Friday they're gonna do the trim, and the electrician is coming early next week! >w<

I can't wait until it's finished!! ;A;

To other art related news, this week I'm making up for my lack of drawing last week lol

I just finished my Silent Princess drawing today, I've finished the sketch for both my commissions, and I've already started on my next Copic drawing :D

My next Copic drawing is gonna be a draw-it-again challenge of this drawing I made a few years ago (I'm gonna guess 2018? XD)

It's of Mary from Kakegurui and I freaking love her so I'm gonna draw her again 😌💕

I'm also re-watching Kakegurui just so I can see her again lolol (this is legit a really good anime, I highly recommend it)

Speaking of re-watching, all the talk of Arthur and Lancelot from OUAT is making me wanna re-watch Fate/Zero so badly!!! Fate/Zero is the absolute best anime out there imo and the main character (Saber) is the female version of King Arthur, Arturia :D

Ok yeah I really need to re-watch Fate/Zero, I can feel it in my bones and I neED IT *^*

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I know too many of these chapters start off like this but I FOUND ANOTHER SONG THAT I AM ACTUALLY IN LOVE WITH 😭😭😭

I had this random playlist on on Spotify so I could find some new music, and a lot of the songs were from Breaking Benjamin (I already love them because of "Dance With the Devil" and "Breath"), and I added like 4 of their songs to my playlist BUT ONE WAS SERIOUSLY SO AMAZING

And it hurt even more because I had just watched OUAT right before listening to the song and it fit so fucking well (imma talk about this later ;3)

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

I love it 🥺🥺🥺

Ok to the OUAT part - if you haven't seen season 5 of Once Upon a Time, stop reading here :3

When I first heard that song, I had just came to the episode where Hook finds out that he became the second Dark One, so I had to watch Emma watch him die and then save him by making him the second Dark One and it was so emotional and AHH

And then I watched him become evil and hurt Emma and all I can think about is how when he's back to his normal self and isn't consumed by the darkness, HE'S GONNA BE ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED KNOWING ALL THE THINGS HE DID TO THE WOMAN HE LOVES

HOW CAN HE EVER FORGIVE HIMSELF FOR INFLICTING SO MUCH PAIN ON THE PERSON HE LOVES THE MOST?!

My heart is legit aching just thinking about it

So in the song, when he sings "I can't face the dark without you" I saw Hook dying in Emma's arms and begging her not to save him because he knows that he can't fight the darkness

My heart actually fucking died inside my chest when I heard that line for the first time aadhalxjsl WHY DOES THIS MAKE ME SO EMOTIONAL

I also just watched the episode where Hook sacrifices himself to get rid of all the dark magic :) I cried a lot :)))