— Written Wednesday dec 15th —

I forgot to post my last chapter and now it's been so long that's it's irrelevant ✌️😂

This is gonna be a depressing start to a chapter because Norway's going to hell right now (and I got my period today so I'm extra emotional lmao)

We've always been so privileged because we never had quarantine for very long, and we opened up completely a few weeks or months ago - I mean completely

Of course this happens right before Christmas!! I'm seriously so upset about this, first we get the news last week that Norway's back at yellow level, meaning that our Christmas ball was cancelled (which I've been excited for since June - I was pretty heartbroken)

And then yesterday we get the news that we're at red level

The day before the Spider Man premiere

Literally the only good thing left and it was taken from us :( THE DAY BEFORE THE PREMIERE

I got the news as I was watching the other Spider Man movies with my friends and watching movie recaps so we're all ready for what's probably the most hyped up movie since Endgame

This was gonna be the first time we were gonna see it first, before stupid Americans spoil everything for us

And now the entire world is gonna spoil it because we gotta wait until the end of January, IF the Covid situation gets better

Plus there's a spoiler war going on between Europe and the US since this was gonna be the first time that we saw a big movie before them

IM SO UPSET ABOUT THIS!! I just can't look forward to things anymore because it always gets taken away from me

I felt so bad breaking the news to my friends, we were all so heartbroken

And then I had to come home and comfort my sister since the movie was literally the only thing she's looked forward to for months

I can't express how angry I am about this!! And it's not like the movie theaters are shutting down or anything either, it's Sony being an ass!! It's not even for health reasons because of Covid, they're literally delaying it because they want more money

Am I supposed to just shut off the wifi and not go online until January 21st???? Because there WILL be spoilers and I really don't want it to be spoiled for me :(

OF COURSE THIS HAPPENS RIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS!!!!

I'm also back to half online school :( I have online school on Mondays and Thursdays, we have to stay in our classroom at all times (and our classroom isn't even in the school, it's this shitty tiny building outside with no ventilation and it fucking sucks), we have to sit 1 by 1 and we even have to sit there and eat at our own desks

I hate this so much

My anxiety and stress levels are so high now, it's just been getting worse since my concentration has gotten worse and school has gotten more demanding (resulting in really bad constant headaches literally every day) and I'm burned out

It's a good thing Christmas break is coming up because I'm hanging off the edge for a mental breakdown :( Plus the health system is shit over here so it took me a month to get my stupid doctor's appointment just so they can spend another month trying to send me over to some other place where they can actually give me the documentation and the help that I need

I'm sorry for being a downer but the world seriously sucks ass today (I wrote this yesterday lol)

I'm also in a bad mood because a classmate was an asshole to me (again, this was yesterday)

He's overhead me and Blanc talking about books a lot lately and he likes to make fun of us for our love for reading, and he's heard how much I've spoken about Dorian so he joked about finding out if he dies in the books or not

So he sat there googling it in front of me and I obviously got upset and left in fear of him spoiling, but I went back to grab my stuff and he just looked up at me and said "Dorian dies" and laughed

And I was so angry at him!! I just walked off and held back tears until I found Amalie and T and I might've cried a little bit because I've been so emotionally invested in Throne of Glass for the past few months, and he just came and ruined it all (plus it was right before my period, when I'm most emotional lol)

Blanc found me a little later and told me that he didn't know Dorian's last name or the name of the book so he actually found 3 different Dorians, but of course she could've just told me that to make me feel better :( At this point it doesn't even matter if it's true or not, the damage is already done, the thought is already lodged so deep into my brain

So now every little thing he says and does pisses me off because I'm apparently a lot more petty than I thought and I'm gonna snap at him one day in retaliation for taking the one thing I cared about and ruining it

So yeah, it's been a rough day and I'm so mentally fed up with everyone and everything and the only thing keeping me going right now is Christmas, Throne of Glass and Arcane

Which brings me to my next thing: I finished Arcane last night and alsjalsalsjdh MORE SHOWS HAVE TO TAKE INSPIRATION FROM THIS MASTERPIECE

I was holding back tears when I first started watching it just because I was in such awe of the beautiful art style and animation, like?!!??!?!! Holy crap??!!?! It looks amazing!!

The art was breathtaking, the plot was good, the soundtrack was good, the characters were amazing, I loved it!! Jinx is my favorite type of character too lmao, broken and bat shit crazy and that nice touch of childhood trauma 🤌

Her voice actor!!! Every time she broke down and became all hysterical, I was just in awe over how seriously broken she sounded and I loved it! Plus I'm unbelievably sadistic when it comes to characters, I live off of their suffering and she suffered so much 😩

Vi might actually be my favorite though, with Jinx being a close second XD Look me in the eyes and tell me she's not in love with Caitlyn lmfao

Also, it was so weird to actually hear my name for once O_O Especially whenever Jayce called her Cait, that felt so oddly personal because the nickname doesn't work in Norwegian so only my parents call me that XD

Also, WE WERE SO ROBBED!!! I would've simped harder than hard if Silco didn't look like a rat! IMAGINE THE POTENTIAL!!! I'm so angry about this lmao; he's got the power, the influence, he's evil and manipulative, but when he hugged Powder and said "we'll show them"???!???! And then when she nearly died and he lost his shit?!?! The fact that he would literally tear the world down for Jinx, oh my fucking god ajdhaksalskl HE'S LITERALLY MY TYPE OF CHARACTER, BUT THEY HAD TO GO AND MAKE HIM LOOK LIKE THIS 😭

I will never let this go lmao

THE CREATORS WOULD'VE HAD ME IN A CHOKEHOLD IF THEY HAD MADE HIM PRETTY ALDHALSJAL THE POWER THEY WOULD'VE HAD OVER ME 😩😩😤😤🥵🥵😭😭

—

Before the spoilery part of this chapter, I need to show you guys two masterpieces

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Both these songs are good examples of the typical me music 👌 They're the kind of songs I show to my friends and T goes "that's such a Kaitlin song" XD

WTF IS THIS AHAHA

Which actually reminds me of something lol, I can't believe Tails and Knuckles are gonna be in the new Sonic movie!! I nearly cried when watching the trailer when I saw Tails' red plane, I've missed it 😭

Also, this is the cutest thing I've ever seen XD

—

So, um

I finished 5 out of 8 Throne of Glass books lol

I finished book 5 in a week 😅 I have a problem

YOU GUYS SERIOUSLY DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW GOOD IT IS

So, it turns out I'm in love with Dorian and Rowan and Celaena and Manon-

Spoilers ahead~

ME WHEN DORIAN DOES LITERALLY ANYTHING 🥰🥰🥵🥵😩😩😍😍💞💞❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥💖💖❤️❤️💞💞

Black hair, blue eyes, a prince, out of control powers, used to be a flirt but fell in love and would bring the world down for Celaena, watched his love fall for someone else, fell in love with someone else to watch her die in front of him, fell apart, became a king

I CRIED SO HARD WHEN CHAOL SAID HE LOVED HIM

THIS PART LIVES IN MY HEAD RENT-FREE AND IT HURTS

SPEAKING OF PARTS THAT LIVE IN MY HEAD RENT-FREE

I HAVEN'T BEEN THE SAME AFTER I READ THIS

I don't know how to express the feelings I felt but they're not the kind of feelings I should be feeling for a villain - the one who broke Celaena and killed Sam 😩😳

Blanc was so disappointed in me for simping over Arobynn but I COULDN'T HELP IT, especially after that scene above 🥵 it's the "tell me you love me" for me, and the "say my name when you tell me you love me" 👌👌👌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🥵🥵🥵❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Too bad he's dead now lmfao, I was beginning to simp a little too hard for a character I most certainly should not be simping over 😳

Imma just end with this