if this makes it to you in time

If this makes it to you in time,
I want you to know I was strong,
I want you to know I pushed through hell,
I want you to know I kept going despite the battles,
I want you to know I've always imagined a life with you,
That I made scenarios up in my head,
Thinking about what type of tea to make you when you're still waking up in bed,
Or when winter comes,
How I would wrap a scarf around you, pulling you in to kiss you.
Or when spring comes,
We would have picnics in the park.
I imagined so many things with you.
So many things.
I want you to know my love for you will never die.
I want you to know that ember will never burn out as I did.
I tried so hard.
I really did.
But somewhere in between it all...
I cracked without knowing.
I'm sorry for breaking under pressure.
I'm sorry for jumping off the ledge.
But I really tried hard...
Just for you...

a.b.