Indeed, in the creation of the heavens and earth, and the alternation of the night and the day, and the [great] ships which sail through the sea with that which benefits people, and what Allah has sent down from the heavens of rain, giving life thereby to the earth after its lifelessness and dispersing therein every [kind of] moving creature, and [His] directing of the winds and the clouds controlled between the heaven and the earth are signs for a people who use reason.

[ Al Baqarah : 164 ]

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The milk on the stove boiled, steadily rising and over flowing from the boiling pan, dripping onto the flame and creating hissing noises in its wake. The end result was obvious - it forcefully dragged our lady out of her thoughts and she too hissed on her part.

Quickly putting off the flame, she lifted the pan off the stove, and placing it on the kitchen counter, furiously began wiping the drops that had spilt. She stopped only when she was sure that Farida, the aging cook at the staff quarters would not be biting her head off for 'spoiling' her lair, prepared two cups of coffee, placed them on a tray and robotically took them to Waseema's room.

The hallway was so quiet that her footsteps were heard loud and distinct, and she scrunched up her nose, not liking it one bit. It felt odd to stay in the campus without the little ones surrounding her. It was not normal to not find anyone running around the playground and causing trouble.

It was so not normal for Zahra to not expect little Nabeela approaching her any time of the day with big fat tears rolling down her chew worthy cheeks, complaining of kids having tugged at her pigtails. It was not normal for her to not expect Sarah running to her with barely concealed excitement, eyes gleaming as she stretched out a new poem she had tried her hand at. It was not normal for Zahra to go to sleep without checking on Rafah. The poor girl had nightmares if she didn't. It was also not normal for her to not find scrawny little Abrar gifting her the flowers he had picked from the campus.

It was not normal to not have them around. She was so used to their presence that the simplest of the simplest things lost their charm when they were not around.

It was so not okay.

Despite the fact that theirs was a huge campus with people coming and going all year round, their part of the establishment was vacant today except for Waseema and herself. The kids at school were on their winter break and the ones who had relatives and single mothers waiting for them back at home had gone back while the ones who had had to stay back at school for the lack of people in their lives had gone on a trip to the country side. Zahra had so badly wanted to tag along but Waseema had denied. Even though Zahra couldn't understand why she did so, out of respect for her, she had complied.

She found Waseema on her prayer mat when she walked in, so she quietly placed tray on the study table, took her cup and walked to the window.

The morning was still young and pleasant. There were cottony clouds spread across the vast sky and the tall indigenous trees swayed gently due to the breeze, their leaves dancing merrily to nature's tunes. Cuckoos, parrots and squirrels had spread out, majestically taking over the campus and doing their own jobs, cooing and chirping all the while. The lush green playground looked inviting from the window but for Zahra it only looked best with her students scattered around it.

"Lost in thoughts?"

Zahra smiled a feeble smile, not really wanting to admit the truth. Her eyes strayed back to the window and she lent against it.

Waseema let out an audible sigh, the kind which mothers let out when their kids don't do as they're told. She got up and carefully folding her prayer mat, placed it back on the shelf. She then picked up her cup and joined Zahra. "It is a beautiful morning, isn't it?"

Zahra hummed, her eyes wandering over the field again. "But a lonely one."

"You're still upset over it, aren't you?"

"I just don't get the reason why you didn't let me go aunty", Zahra admitted reluctantly. "I would have preferred to go with them."

"And lose yourself?"

Zahra turned to look at her.

"Do you think I let them go just like that without a reason?"

She cast her eyes down. "I don't know aunty."

"My dear, sometimes a mother got to do what a mother got to do. Even if she comes off rude."

Zahra didn't reply. Simply because she didn't have one.

"It's a while since you've settled here dear and you've settled here quite beautifully Masha'Allah! You've adjusted here like you've known this place all your life. You've accepted us all as family, you've practically adopted the kids as your own but dear, somewhere in between all of this you've forgotten that there is a world outside this campus. You've chained yourself to this place, you've cut off yourself from your friends. Don't you realise dear that you are not the person you once were?"

"Other teachers do the things I do too. I don't do anything different."

"But all of them take breaks and do other things. They leave the campus whenever they feel like it. They don't stay here all year long."

"But this is where I belong aunty. I do not understand why I have to go anywhere else when I find the contentment I seek, here."

"Contentment or distraction?"

Zahra's eyes met Waseema's.

"Sometimes when people keep doing things on a daily basis, it becomes their routine, it becomes their habit. Slowly, those habits start imbibing themselves into their character and when they exceeds their limit, they becomes obsessions. Do you know what happens when people become obsessed with things dear? They lose themselves."

"And you are saying this because?"

"You are always around the kids dear. Always. Tending to their needs, solving their problems, talking with them, helping around, so much that you've become a habit to them. You've become a habit to them dear and they've become your routine. Whenever they land in trouble, the first person they think of running to is you. It's become a part of you to keep finding solutions to their problems. Even when your colleagues commit mistakes, it is you who shields them. It is you who takes up the blame. It is you and no one else. This place has become a routine for you dear. It's like you've forgotten to do everything else. Forgotten that you've got a life of your own too."

They turned to the window amd watched in silence as a parrot pecked on a mango hanging from a tree.

"I purposefully sent them away on the trip without you because of three reasons. One, you've got to understand that you have a life too. Two, the kids should learn to accept and trust other teachers too. You may not be available always. Three, your colleagues should understand that you'd not always be there to take charge. All of you need to learn how to adjust."

"What do you mean by I'd not be available always? I'd always be here because this is where my home is aunty. With the kids I've accepted as my own. I find happiness in them and no one else."

"Is that the truth?" Waseema, sipped from the cup, not looking at Zahra but Zahra knew that she saw right through her.

"Staying with the kids helps me fight my demons aunty. They battle those demons for me." She let out a shaky breath. "My negative thoughts and complex don't weigh me down when I am with them. They make me feel at peace with my own self. I find happiness in being able to give them what I was not fortunate of receiving myself. They give me strength. They give me courage. They make me feel I'm not alone in this big bad world."

Waseema placed a hand on Zahra's shoulder. "This is what I was talking about dear. You're not fighting your way into this world. You're merely distracting yourself." She gave her a side hug. "You're only distracting yourself thinking you're battling on the field while in truth, the war awaits.

"There's a whole wide world outside this campus that awaits you. You've got to fight your way into it. You've got to fight to find your identity. I'm not saying that you are not perfect in your job. On the contrary you're wonderful at it. What I'm trying to say is that there are parts of you still missing. You've got to find them. You have to find yourself before deciding on what you truly want. You've got to understand that nothing is permanent over here and that no one would fight your battles for you. You've got to do it on your own. You're a soldier in the making and you need proper training which by the way includes stepping outside this campus."

Zahra laughed looking down at her cup and Waseema chuckled, patting her back. "I know I might come off too demanding dear but what do I do? I'm mama bird after all. I like warming my eggs until they hatch, I like taking care of my young ones, looking after them until they sprout wings but once they do, I even have to push them to fly, soar high in the sky, because my young ones are not meant for the cages dear, they are meant for the sky."

"I love your analogy aunty."

"I love you dear."

Zahra smiled a full blown smile. "You're the best."

"Enough of buttering me. Now go and spend some time out of the campus. Shoo."

Zahra panicked. "Where do I go all of a sudden?"

"Go to the park, cafe, somewhere, some place. Go hang out with your friends."

"But aunty", Zahra dragged. "I haven't met them for a while now. How do I demand them to meet me all of a sudden? Both of them have families and obligations of their own. I feel guilty to even ask them to make time for me after not having spoken to them for weeks."

"Hmmm. You should talk to them more often. Don't get too indulged in your work that you don't even have a breather. What about dawah centres and such which have programs on Sunday? Eshaal volunteers in one too right?"

"Yes." Zahra's eyes lit up. Why didn't I think of this earlier? Oh aunty! I'm telling you, you're the best."

Waseema laughed. "Go now. Shoo."

"Right away." Zahra spun around but haulted when she realised something. "But it would have already begun by now aunty."

"If it has already begun then you've got to hurry up then. I'm not letting you off the hook. Better late than never. Quick. Get dressed and leave right away. I don't want you staying here at the campus today."

"Ohkayyy."

For the next few minutes Zahra didn't know what force had her flitting around her room. In no time she had thrown on some comfortable clothes, scarf and abaya and after informing Waseema had set off to the center where Eshaal and Tanvir volunteered. Since she had started for the place a bit late, the program had already begun by the time she reached the place. On hearing the voice of someone booming on the microphone, she ran into the block in a frenzy. She almost dashed into a guy who emerged from the men's staircase, she almost stepped into the men's section but then, got a hold on herself at the last moment.

Heart racing, she quietly opened the door to the women's section to find them all seated, immersed in what the speaker was saying. Eshaal was nowhere to be seen. Not wanting to disturb the rest in the middle of the speech, she took a vacant seat at the far end of the hall.

Soon the speaker wrapped up his speech. Zahra was starting to feel disappointed thinking it had gotten over when Tanvir's voice sounded on the mic. "Assalaamu alaikum warahmathullahi wabarakatuhu!

"As human beings on earth, we are prone to commit mistakes, to say things we don't mean to, do stuff we don't want to. Sometimes we are so blinded by our mistakes that we are unable to see what sort of colours He is using in our lives. It makes no sense. It so does not and only when the whole picture is done do we realise that we've been too invested in just one part alone. He was painting a beautiful picture all this while long.

"Based on the same theory, we have a brother here who wants to share his story with us today. Over to you brother."

"Assalaam walaikum." The voice held an accent. Definitely not Indian.

"I." The speaker on the mic took a deep breath. "I Lee - Lee Chin Hwa from Korea. North Korea."

Zahra heard people gasping. She had to stifle one herself.

"I know, I know. North Korea? But this truth. I from North Korea.

"You think how I here? I also think how I here? How I run? How I be... how I be...."

"Brave", someone supplied from the crowd.

"Yeah. Jazakhallah brother."

People laughed, not the kind of laughter one uses to mock, the kind of laughter that bubbles out of people's mouth when their hearts are full. This person was for sure new to all this.

"Brave." The speaker exhaled again. "I also think how I be brave? How I stand up? I not understand how I be fool to stand up but now", there was a pause buliding up the curiosity of all the listeners. "Now, after this all, this all time, after this long time, after learning He took me out, I know, I know it not me. It Him. It always Him. It always Him.

"When I young, I be bad, be very very bad. I fight, I beat, I kick, I bad words, lot bad words. I fight daily. Always fight. Anytime fight. I do drugs.

"People not like me. People hate me. People wish I die. Sometimes I wish I die also. No family, no friends, No faith, no nothing. I nothing.

"One day when I..." There was some shuffling from the other side of the makeshift wall and Zahra gathered that the guy was asking for help.

"Eighteen. Eighteen. Sorry I bad numbers. I bad English too."

Zahra smiled at the attempt of his joke.

"One day I eighteen, I fight. Big fight. Kick, beat, hands, legs, all. I use all. I full of blood. I fall asleep. Sorry..."

She could hear murmurs of him asking people for the right word again.

"I lost..."

"Consciousness", someone supplied again.

"Conscious...ness. Is that right brother? So yeah, I lost it. I wake up in dark. Small room. One small light. Fire light. One old man. Cooking. Cooking food. I try get up. I not able. I know my bone break. Old man run to me. Tell me sleep, sleep. I sleep.

"I wake up second time. I see small light. Blood gone. I clean. Full bandage. Hands, legs bandage. But pain. Full of pain. I cry loud. Old man run to me again. He feed me, I eat. I sleep.

"Daily same. Same story. He work with cycle - get money, cook, he clean, heal, feed me. I eat, I sleep. He care me. Big care. Big heart. Big love. He love me. He love all - big, small, poor, full money, good, bad - he love all. He give all. He nothing, little money, very little but he big heart and he love me. And I...", the speaker choked on his words. "I love him."

"I no mother, no father, brather, seestah, I no one. He be all. Park Gyeong. Respect. I love him for he love me. He love me for he big heart. I nothing - no money, no school, no nothing but he teach me. He be my teacher. He teach me what he know. He teach me do good, no lie, believe in God.

"North Korea - no releegion there. All warship king but Park Gyeong believe man no God. Park Gyeong believe God one God. I see him some time fall on ground, pray. Some time he join his hand and pray but he pray. He pray to God. To One God but he hide and pray. For if he not pray to king, king kill him.

"Park Gyeong great man. He heal me. Daily. All day. He heal me. Long time I alright. I go work in coal mine. I work daily, I go home, eat with Park Gyeong and sleep. I buy him dress. He say no, you wear. I old, no need. He take care - he take care me."

Zahra's eyes brimmed with unshed tears. This Park Gyeong reminded her of her father. He used to be selfless too, always putting her needs before his.

"One day, I go home - it broken. Windows, doors - all, all broken. Park Gyeong in ground. Blad here. Blood, blood. Ground full blood. They kill him. They kill him for he worship God, he worship no man. I angry, very very angry, sad. Why God do this? Park Gyeong good man! Why? I ground him. I cry, I cry. My family - gone.

"I run away. I run away. I walk, I ship, I go away. Lot place, lot people. I see all, I see them but Park Gyeong." The speaker clicked his tongue.

"Ten, ten... ten years, I walk, I ship, I bus. I come Chennai. I walk, I work, I eat, I sleep. One day I hear call. Adaa. I walk to sound. I see people all pray, fall down and pray - same - Park Gyeong same pray. I shock, I see. I stand and see. Just see. Brother Tanvir come."

Zahra's lips curve into a smile on their own accord on hearing her friend's husband's name being taken.

"Brother Tanvir I talk. He teach. He teach me all. All I ask. He teach me English, he teach me number, he teach me Islam, he teach me...

"He teach me my God, my Allah. I know Allah bring me here, Allah bring me to Islam. Park Gyeong gone but my God bring me Islam. I know Allah - One God. No man - no God. Tis' truth. No man, no God. Allah alone. I accept Islam."

Although the people in the hall had known where Lee had been heading right from the start, the sheer simplicity the man had declared his love for God stunned them all into silence. They were too overwhelmed to speak or do anything else. Taking it as his cue, the speaker took over the mic again. "So brother Lee, you are here amidst us today to accept shahadah, isn't it?" Zahra's heart thrummed loudly in excitement. She had never witnessed a shahadah before. Of course she had heard of them in plenty, read about them in plenty, watched them on YouTube but she had never in her life actually been physically present in one.

"Yes." Lee voiced in affirmation.

"Do you believe that Allah is the One true God?"

"I believe."

"Do you accept Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) as the Messenger of Allah?"

"Yes."

"Are you accepting Islam by force?"

"Eh?"

"Is someone forcing you to join Islam? Is someone bribing you?"

"No." Lee spoke hurriedly. "No."

"Brother Lee, you were born a Muslim just like any of us but Alhamdulillah after having been in the dark for a while, you've found the right path again. You'd have to repeat after me to signify this shahadah. Are you ready?"

"Ye-Yes."

"Ash hadu."

"Ash ha-hadu." As he began reciting it, Lee's voice started trembling and so did all the listeners' hearts.

"An laa ilaaha."

"Anla ilaha."

"Illal lahu."

"Ilallahu."

"Wa ash hadu."

"Washadu."

Zahra's eyes started to glisten with unshed tears.

"Anna Muhammadan."

"Anna Mu-Muhammadan."

"Ab duhu.

"Abu..."

"Ab- ab duhu."

"Ab duhu."

"Wa rasuluh."

"Wa rasuluh."

Chants of Allahu Akbar echoed throughout the hall but Zahra's lips remained sealed. Forget about chanting the praise of the Lord, she wasn't even able to open her mouth. Her emotions were choking her making it impossible for her jaw to move. She brought her right palm to her lips and clamped it against it, whimpering mutely in an ambience of celebration.

She could not fathom the love she felt for her Creator at that moment.

Love; wish to be with Him already. Desire. Burning desire.

Satisfaction of knowing Him. Deep-rooted.

Emotions. Multiple emotions. Haywire.

Unprecedented, undented love. Perfection.

A clogged throat with lump the size of Africa and unending tears, cascading effortlessly down her cheeks.

She wept out of joy. She wept out of love. She wept for the brother who had found the right path. She wept for countless others who were still navigating their way around it.

She wept for herself. She wept in remembrance of her Lord. Sitting there in a hall situated in an unknown locality, surrounded by women who were leaving the place, loud exclamations and introductions still going on in the men's side, Zahra wept her heart out.

She wept and wept and wept. She didn't know for how long she was seated there weeping but then, the door to the women's section opened all of a sudden and in stepped the same guy she had almost run into earlier that day. He visibly grew alarmed to see her sitting there and immediately shut the door. Zahra sniffed, knowing that it was time to go. It was obvious that he was a volunteer who had come in to finish whatever he was supposed to do and she was detaining him. She got up, collected her bag and walked out.

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Longggg time! Sorry for it *making sad faces* To my defence I had things that were taking a toll on me. I don't wanna bore you by telling my sob stories but I just want you to know that I love all of you. I literally struggled to get this chapter written because I didn't want to disappoint you people. That reminds me, I feel that some of you have forgotten my existence. Hullo there! Do you remember me?

Answer these then!

🎯 Can you recall my existence?

🎯 Have you witnessed a shahadah before?

🎯 Were you in your senses or lost it like Zahra the first time you witnessed one?

🎯 What do you think about Lee's story? Does he intrigue you? I hope I brought out the broken speech well.

🎯 Are you aware that the people of North Korea have no religion? They worship their ruler and are cut off from the world in so many ways. (I'm lazy to type them all 😜 Research people.)

🎯 Now... *ahem ahem* who do you think she almost ran into? 😉

Seeya soon. Assalamu alaikum warahmathullahi wabarakatuhu!