"And to your Lord (alone) turn (all your) intentions and hopes."

[ Ash Sharh : 8 ]

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Growing up and growing old in a world infested with technology, extravaganza, pollution and other such stuff, more often than not most human beings end up confusing between basic human emotions!

They are ignorant, they are unaware. They do not know the differences or they prefer not to see. They are blind to the thin line that exists between strength and independence; courage and disobedience; problems and hindrances; love and lust. But most of all, they could not see or feel the marked, distinct line between peace and silence!

For most, silence often symbolises peace. Silence is what gives them tranquillity, silence is what they crave. Constantly stuck amidst blaring horns, noisy vehicles, loud machinery and even louder people, over the years silence for them becomes the definition of peace. As they start growing old, they start wanting little of everything else.

According to them, silence is peace. End of the story.

It doesn't mean that they are right though, for silence also symbolises many other things which aren't attractive to many.

Silence symbolises withering relations, those which have no hope, no love, no trust to keep people bounded any longer. Silence represents the death at our doorsteps, the machines attached to patients that stop working upon the departure of their soul; the searing pain of broken hearts and the numbing sensation that often follows.

Silence.

Silence can even be bad. It needn't necessarily be good always. It could be destructive too and unlike what most people think, silence is never silent. Silence speaks. It really does. It has its own language - a language that has no script, no proper grammar but that doesn't stop it in the slightest. It speaks to you through the tremors of your heart, the quiver of your lips, the tears of your eyes and the lump in your throat. Silence speaks. It speaks its own language.

Have you by any chance heard its voice?

Have you ever heard silence speaking? Have you heard its moans, its cries, its screams of pain? Its whimpers, pleas and wails? If yes, then you've known pain! If your answer to the above question is yes, then you've felt the extent of its damage.

Zahra knew the language of silence too. She had often heard its unearthly wails. Over the years she had become well versed in detecting its presence. Given the fact of how much it had given her company while growing up, she was well aware of how it sought its victims, knew well how it sunk its claws into the hearts of people, reducing them into nothing but a blubbering mess. Or in some cases mute dumb people.

Needless to say, she wasn't a fan of it. Never had and she knew she will never be. She gave her all in fighting it from succeeding, never wanting people to fall apart because of it. She took all the broken things life presented her with and created master pieces. No matter what she herself was on the inside, she patched up other people's broken pieces. She did all that and more, all with a smile that never left her lips. She was Zahra, the heavenly flower and she did her best in spreading fragrance to the wider world, did her bit in making it a better place and she did it with all her heart.

Amidst all those wonderful things Zahra did, the fact remained that she was human too. The same organ pumped blood into her blood vessels just like everyone else and like everyone else, her heart too faltered at times. Somedays her emotions overruled her rational thoughts, sometimes she tended to use her heart more than her brain.

Somedays she let her heart lead while her brain followed. Like for instance today.

Ten minutes had passed since the bell had gone and all the children had rushed out to the play. The corridors were all empty with no one around, not even the helps. Zahra, assuming that all had left had headed to the staff room for a break when she had noticed a little girl sitting all by herself in an empty classroom. Sensing that something was off, she had gone in to give her some company.

Striding in, Zahra had wished her and had found a chair to sit on, all the while observing the little girl who hadn't even seemed to have stirred from her place for a while. She didn't even respond to the greeting or even seemed to have heard it. Her face was ashen and her eyes fixed on the wall ahead. She was physically present, yes, but her mind was clearly somewhere else. Zahra did not say anything further choosing to observe for a moment in what way she could help.

Had it been other students, Zahra would have figured out what the problem was in an instant. She would have helped them cheer up and forget about all the depressing stuff within a short span of time. She would always give them a reasonable solution or tell them just what they needed to hear. Zahra knew them out and out. They had been here even before she had known of this place.

This girl however, wasn't the same as everyone else. She had just come in a day ago, hadn't even settled in yet. What could be the reason of her sadness? At first Zahra couldn't understand but soon enough chalked it up to her dislike of being left in this place - a boarding school for the orphans. That could be the only reason as far as she could see and from what Zahra had heard, the nine year old had been left here by her own mother. Zahra was unsure of how to start a conversation about it seeing that she herself was touchy on this subject. The thought of mothers leaving their kids never sat well with her. Mothers were supposed to stay with kids, not leave them fending for themselves.

Zahra observed the little girl. Once she had chalked up the reason, she could easily see the turmoil in the little girl's eyes, feel the pain and dejection in her demeanour. The little girl was floating in an endless ocean and she didn't have the strength to last for long. The tides would soon be high and before she knew she would soon be swept away. Zahra knew. She just knew because she had been there not long ago herself. She observed the girl giving her a bit more time.

Zahra was someone who never really expected much to turn out of her life. Her dreams, her longings had all left her along with the one who brought her into this world. Although she had dreamt of being a hundred different things in her childhood, after her mother left, she had packed up all her dreams along with her mother's things and had never thought of them again. She had had no idea where she was headed whatsoever. She had no clear destination in mind, knew nothing of what she'd be doing in the coming years and so, when her friends had urged her to join a centre they were starting together right after college, she had had no choice but to give in.

She remained there for a two consecutive years, teaching but never truly happy with what she was doing. Never truly content. Tutoring people who had no moral values, no civility and who were often unruly was never really part of her non existent plans. Not having the heart to break it to her friends and not wanting to break away from her friends, Zahra had stayed mum. She had bled internally during those two years not having a clear goal on her mind. Not knowing what she was doing with her life.

Later, when she had met Waseema aunty in a park with kids from the school she taught at, it proved to be a life changing incident for her. Bless the ball that a little girl from the school had thrown at her, her life was never really the same! After a few unexpected events fate had to present her with and after a lot of thought, so much of prayers, a bucket of tears, she left the center and joined the school, leaving her cocoon and spreading her wings in the process.

Oh, and how beautiful her wings had turned out to be! It wasn't any ordinary school she joined. It was a school for the kids dear to the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and to the Lord Himself - it was a school for the orphans.

Including a hostel within the premises, a ground for kids to play in, it had all the things the kids would need during the duration of their stay. People from all over the state brought kids who had lost their fathers or both their parents to enroll them here. Sometimes relatives abandoned them here too but the teachers over here were chosen by the Lord Himself and they did their best to never let the kids feel forsaken or forlorn. They loved the kids with their all.

Zahra quickly learnt things, blending in with kids and becoming their second most favourite. The first preference always remained their Waseema ma'am! She didn't really mind though, Waseema aunty was her beacon of light, someone who guided her out of an abyss. She loved her too.

She had only been existing for the sake of existing and by introducing her to the kids, Allah had brought life to her and some colour to her cheeks!

She was truly happy among the kids. For the first time in a long while, she felt content.

Zahra stayed in her own home when she first joined the school as a teacher, travelling to and fro for the job until her father's demise. After he passed away, finding no reason to go back to an empty house everyday she chose to stay in the school's compound. The management was only too happy to acquiesce, giving her additional duties along with a room. Zahra didn't mind again. Until she could help change the kids' lives in any way possible, she didn't mind anything. Never mind that she was all alone in this world after her mother leaving her and her father leaving the world, she built herself not one but multiple homes in the hearts of her students.

This girl Zahra was looking at was just a new addition to the family Zahra had found. A family not bound by blood but by heart. A family whose ties had been destined to last beyond envy, beyond wealth, beyond time.

"Hey, little buddy", Zahra nudged the girl when she hadn't moved even after a while.

The girl flinched looking at Zahra, visibly shocked to see her sitting right next to her. She really hadn't been aware of what was going on around her.

Zahra smiled. "Nafisa right?"

The girl looked down not meeting her eyes. "No. Nasifa." Her voice was barely a whisper.

"Oh! I interchanged two alphabets." Zahra chuckled attempting to break the ice. "Do you know what's mine?"

The girl shook her head from left to right indicating a no, her head still bowed.

"My name's Zahra!"

She didn't reply.

Zahra nudged Nasifa playfully again. "Hey, aren't you going out to play? It's break time and you're supposed to be playing outside, not sitting inside like a bored grown up."

"I don't want to."

"Why?"

Nasifa shrugged. "I just don't."

"But there has to be a reason right?"

"Be-because no one cares." She sniffed bringing up her hands on the desk and putting her head down. "Because no one cares." And she broke down into sobs.

Zahra quickly let go of the chair she was sitting on and knelt down on the ground beside the girl, rubbing her back slowly in a soothing manner. The girl still continued to cry for a while and Zahra let her, knowing she had to let out all of it out before she could have a fresh start and Nasifa seemed to be doing just that - letting it all out.

Moments later when all the sorrow inside her had been let out in the form of tears, Nasifa lifted her head from the desk and sniffed. While she pulled out a hanky from the pocket of her kameez and blew her nose, Zahra noticed tendrils of her soft brown hair peeking outside her scarf. It was the same shade as Eshaal's. Zahra felt her lips curving into a smile.

"Why do you think that way?", she asked the little girl, gently tucking her hair into the scarf. "Why do you think that no one cares?"

"Because mum doesn't love me", Nasifa swallowed, "and if she herself doesn't care, then who will?"

Zahra wet her lips. "We will."

Nasifa huffed in disbelief. "Everyone says that but no one really cares."

"Sweetie, we really do."

"Mum said so too. She said she'd take of me when papa passed away, said she will never let me miss him but she left me here yesterday. She doesn't care anymore. It's true what people say - love too has an expiry date."

Zahra smiled at the big words the kid used. "Maybe your mum wasn't able to get financial support to pay your expenses. That could have been the reason why she left you here. You shouldn't be making assumptions Nasifa." She tried reasoning.

"No. She really doesn't care."

"How can you say so?"

Nasifa's eyes met Zahra's. "Because mum kept her son with her and she only left me here. If she really wasn't able to get enough money, she would have put him in some similar school but no", she sniffed again. "Mum only chose me to give away. She kept my brother with her. I begged her but she didn't listen. She left me here. She doesn't care and i-if she herself doesn't ca-care, then no one will." Her voice broke at the end.

Zahra got up from her kneeling position before taking the girl by hand and leading her to the window of the classroom that overlooked the ground. "You see him there", she said pointing at a tall lanky boy throwing a ball inside a loop, laughing as another charged at him, "his name is Ahsan. He has been here for more than five years. Both his parents passed away due to a communicable disease that was widespread in their area. Fearing it, none of their relatives were ready to take him in. Just look at his smile."

Nasifa turned to look at Zahra instead, not understanding what she was trying to do.

Zahra pointed at another girl running with a frisbee in hand. "She is Sarah. Do you know how she came here? Her uncle slit her mother's throat and her father died due to sorrow. Can you see the way she laughs?"

Zahra could hear Nasifa let out a shaky breath. "And that little pie sitting on that bench with a sketch book in hand - she is Rafa." Zahra smiled to herself. "Her father left her and her mother when he came to know she couldn't speak. Her mother wasn't able to handle her expenses and left her here. Rafa has the most beautiful smile of the lot!

"These three aren't the only ones who have such stories to say. Can you see tens of kids from this window? All of them have a story of their own. I too have a story of my own. Everyone in this compound have stories to say. We've all seen things in our lives but we haven't given up on life just because some people gave up on us. We have faith in ourselves and we have faith in each other. Most of all, we have faith in God."

Nasifa's eyes started to well up.

"We may have come together due to circumstances but guess what? We still love each other. All the teachers in this faculty love the students like their own. I love everyone over here like my own. I love you too." Zahra tweaked Nasifa's nose. "Waseema ma'am loves you too. These kids you see playing - if you give them a chance, they'd grow to love you too."

Crouching low to the girl's height, Zahra took her hands in hers. "We all love you and if someday, sometime you feel that all our love is not enough; if someday, sometime you fall in short of love, just look above", Zahra pointed at the sky. "Know that He is looking at you from above. Know that He loves us, loves you more than anyone else. All the time you think no one cares, no one is there, He is actually looking at you from above and is loving you. He knows everything about you, even more than your own self. He loves you."

The little girls lips wobbled as she whimpered. Zahra enveloped her in her arms, her lips quivering too as she reassured herself more than the little girl. "He is there. Don't worry, He is there. For you, for me, for all of us - He is there."

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Your thoughts please!

🎯 I don't know if I was able to do justice to that scene above. I want to know...did you feel anything at all?

🎯 How did you feel reading about Zahra? I managed to keep her an enigma throughout SL and now that things are slowly starting to be revealed, what do you think about her?

🎯 Do your families prefer boys over girls? What do you think about it? What do you have to say about it?

🎯 What do you think will happen next? Any ideas on how the protagonists will meet? Or they will meet at all? 😀

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Do not be silent readers please. Leave your thoughts in your comments. I'd love to know what's going on inside your head.

Assalamu alaikum warahmathullahi wabarakatahu!