Chapter 42: Truth

I slept while hugging Zian, but I woke up without his presence. I am only hugging a pillow now. And as I took a peek outside, light began to grow as a promise of sunrise.

I wanted to scream out of frustration by waking up without his presence. Don't tell me, umalis na naman siya?

I set my thoughts aside and cleaned myself up first before going downstairs. Pero hindi pa man ako nakakaliko para sumilip ay may narinig na akong mga boses.

I carefully stepped back and hid myself against the wall while listening.

"Hindi mo kasi ako maintindihan."

It was Zian's voice.

"Paano kita maiintindihan kung ayaw mo namang ipaintindi sa 'kin? Pinsan mo 'ko, and we almost spent our whole lives together. Huwag ka namang madamot sa impormasyon, Zian."

There's a silence.

Were they talking about it again?

I let out a breath. At least, I know Zian didn't leave me for Lorraine.

Naupo ako sa hagdan. I rested my head against the wall while eavesdropping. P'wede naman siguro? Wala naman akong masamang ginagawa, just like me... I also want to know the reasons behind. And I hope it's worth the pain I felt.

"Ewan ko sa 'yo, parang ako pa mababaliw. Tingnan mo nga may sugat ka pa, sino naman sumuntok sa 'yo? Baka mamaya malaman ko na lang na gangster ka na rin."

"Tanga, hindi. Nasapak lang," Zian answered in a dismissive tone.

"Aralin mo nga 'yong techniques para sa pag-dodge ng suntok. Ako nabobobo sa 'yo, e."

I bit my lower lip.

"Honestly... I was really tired, pero pakiramdam ko responsibilidad ko talaga."

"Ano ba kasi iyang pinasok mo? Sabi mo tinutulungan mo iyang babae na iyan?"

"Yes."

"Ano'ng tulong iyan? Sana naman tumanggi ka o hinayaan mo na lang, hindi mo naman kailangang pasanin iyong problema ng iba," si Kent.

"Pakiramdam ko kailangan kong gawin..."

I then heard a slam.

"Ang hirap kasi sa 'yo masyado kang mabait! Hindi ka marunong tumanggi, and you always sacrifice on something that isn't worth your effort—"

"T*rantado ka, Kent! Sa tingin mo ba magdurusa ako nang ganito kung aksaya lang din naman ng effort? T*ng ina, kung p'wede nga lang umatras noong una pa baka sobrang saya ko na ngayon. Edi, sana hindi ko nasasaktan si Ari lalo na si Audrey..."

My breathing hitched as I covered my mouth.

What's happening to him?

A moment of silence again.

"Ang hirap, nahihirapan ako... kasi alam ko naman na hindi ko 'to responsibilidad, e... pero kasi nangako ako sa tao."

"Ba't ka naman kasi nangako?"

"Kailangan, e... sa tingin mo ba mananahimik lang ako kung may maitutulong naman ako? Alam ko na dapat 'di ako nangingialam ng buhay ng ibang tao, pero kasi nandoon ako, e... nakita ko kaya parang pakiramdam ko wala rin akong takas. Guilt and conscience will always haunt me."

Guilt and conscience.

I know that we can't live the life we're dreaming of if guilt and conscience were haunting us just because we didn't do the right thing.

"Mr. Famorca... is this about him? As far as I know Lolo already backed out from their supposed partnership. Why are you still involved with them? Especially his daughter?"

"I don't know if I am on the right position to tell this, 'coz I already made a promise to her that I won't tell it to anyone."

Why can't he just break that promise just once?

"Grabe, bilib na talaga ako sa kabaitan mo, 'tol. Kamag-anak ba talaga kita?" Kent sarcastically said. "Una, hindi mo magawang umatras kasi nasaksihan mo kung ano man iyang nasaksihan mo, tapos sunod tinatanong kita ayaw mo naman sagutin kasi nangako ka na isesekreto mo. T*rantado, sa sobrang bait mo p'wede ka na pumasa bilang santo!"

I don't know what emotion I should feel, but damn... Kent always has a humor on this.

"Fine! God, sorry for I have sinned..."

"Magpapastor ka ba?"

"Shut up, sana 'di ka tanggapin sa langit..." si Zian.

Kanina seryoso pa silang nag-uusap tapos ngayon nagbibiruan na sila. I don't know what's wrong with these Reistres.

"Zian, a cup of tea won't hurt. Spill it, maawa ka naman sa girlfriend mo. Ni hindi mo yata sinabi sa kaniya, 'no? Grabe ka naman talaga, mahal mo ba talaga si Audrey?"

I suddenly had the urge to run back upstairs, so I won't hear what he's about to say. It's either yes or no, but why am I nervous?

"Of course. Sa tingin mo ba magiging girlfriend ko kung trip ko lang? Hindi pa sira ang ulo ko, bobo."

"Mahal mo pala, bakit ayaw mo sabihin?"

I sighed.

"I trust her, Kent. Maybe... maybe I wasn't still ready to tell her, sasabihin ko naman, e."

"When will you be? Kung mapuno iyang girlfriend mo at makipaghiwalay sa 'yo? Mapapasaya ka ba niyang tinutulungan mo ngayon? Ni hindi ka nga masaya sa ginagawa mo ngayon, 'di ba nahihirapan ka na nga? Ang hirap mong parupokin."

"Lolo backed out because of this certain reason."

"Huwag ka ngang pa-thrill, sabihin mo kung ano! Ang aga-aga ko pa naman nagising para kausapin kang hinayupak ka!"

"Mr. Famorca had previous criminal records. He's not killing people, but he's physically hurting them. Bukod sa kasong iyon, he's also a corporate fraud..."

"Corporate fraud? E, ba't 'di pa nakulong iyan? Bakit naman nakipagsusyo si Lolo r'yan..."

Lorraine's father is a corporate fraud? At hindi lang iyan... he's also physically abusing people... hindi kaya si Lorraine iyon?

"Lolo didn't dig for a further information before, but at least nalaman niya rin. And knowing Lolo, he doesn't want to involve with people like that. Kahit pa sabihing business lang at walang personalan, ayaw ni Lolo madamay. Actually, convincing pa noong una na physical abuse, pero noong dumagdag ang corporate fraud. Ekis agad."

"Iyan lang ba ang dahilan? E, bakit ayaw mo pa ipaliwanag sa 'kin noong nakaraan?"

"I wasn't confident lalo na at hindi pa iyon nakukulong. Baka may masama pang gawin."

"Sa physical abuse... sino'ng biktama?"

"Her wife and Lorraine."

My lips parted.

Was this already the reasons?

I mean... physical abuse isn't a joke, it's still a crime.

My heart throbbed again. I blinked twice before I stood and carefully went upstairs.

Lorraine's been physically abused by her father, and even her mother. His father had previous criminal cases, he's a fraud.

Okay, at least I already knew the reasons, pero iyon lang ba talaga?

I don't know what's gotten into me, but I fiddled with Zian's phone and saved Lorraine's number on my phone.

I need to confront that girl.

How dare her involved Zian on their own problems?!

Later on, I heard footsteps coming so I went back on the bed and pretended sleeping. I felt the other side of the bed sank until an arms wrapped around me.

He carefully lifted my head on his chest before kissing the top of my head.

I fought the urge not to open my eyes, because it might ruin this moment.

"I promise, after these shits... I'll make it up to you, we'll spend our time together, we can even travel around, and promise... nothing won't ever come between us again. It's just me and you, that's a promise I won't break," he whispered.

I don't know what happened, but pretending sleeping went real. Nagising na lang ulit ako na ganoon pa rin ang puwesto. And when I looked up, I saw Zian peacefully sleeping.

Was spilling it out to Kent lessen the burden he was carrying? Because if it was. I am glad, I won't ask further.

At least, after being devastated last night. He can now finally sleep and rest, pero tapos na ba talaga? Kailangan niya pa rin bang puntahan si Lorraine?

He's not even a judge, why is he granting custody to them?

I buried my face on his neck and tried to sleep in his comfort, but I still prefer watching him sleep so that's what I did.

I carressed the cut right beside his lips using my thumb, wondering who punched him? Ako mismo ang sasapak sa taong iyon kapag nalaman ko.

We just cuddled the whole day.

I have no classes since it's Sunday, and I am also sure my parents are in the hospital right now.

I don't wanna force Zian to tell me everything. I understand him. Maybe, he's scared to tell me, at baka hindi iyon maging sapat para maging maayos kami.

Pero kung hindi pa rin tapos iyong problema...

I need to ask for a break.

Naiintindihan ko naman siya, pero ayaw ko namang masaktan. It's inevitable, kahit alam ko na ngayon, mahirap pa rin lalo na't alam ko na may kahati pa rin ako sa oras.

"Last night... anong oras ka pumunta rito?" he suddenly asked.

We're still on his bed and watching some movies in Netflix. I don't wanna go outside, baka kasi mamaya kailangan niya na namang umalis. At least, kahit dito ayos lang.

"Around 7, I guess?"

He heaved a sigh and hugged me tight. "Won't you ask me?"

I sighed as I put down the pack of caramel popcorn I was holding.

I cupped his face and made him look at me in the eyes. "I don't have to ask you. Sasabihin mo naman, 'di ba kung gusto mo? I know you won't lie."

His lips quivered as he shut his eyes tightly. I admired how perfectly formed his eyebrows and eyelashes were. It was attractive, but his eyes were everything.

Maybe, his lips weren't exactly the part of his I am in love with, it's his hazel-brown eyes I'll always admire. It's my most favorite among all.

"Mahal talaga ako ng Diyos..."

"Hmm, why?" I asked, tracing my fingers on his prominent jaw.

"He gave me a family and you. A lovely understanding girlfriend like you."

I pouted, feeling my cheeks flushed. "I'm not understanding, Zian. You're so annoying!" I chuckled as I hugged him. "Pinapakilig mo na naman ako baka mamaya iwanan mo rin ako!"

He laughed as he hugged me back. "I can't promise, but I'll stay no matter what. Actions speak louder than words, hindi na ako magsasalita nang tapos."

That saddened me. Indeed, truth hurts. Buti nga at hindi siya nangako kasi mas masakit kung sakaling hindi naman talaga matutupad, pero masakit pa rin kasi hindi niya maipapangako. Kahit ano pala ang choice laging may masakit na parte.

"Zian, why am I still missing you even we're hugging each other right now?" I wondered.

He swallowed hard. "I am sorry..."

I quickly put a smile on my lips and looked at him. "It's fine."

"Bakit parang... mas gusto ko iyong nagagalit na ikaw kaysa sa ganito? What's inside your pretty mind, love?"

I pursed my lips and glared at him. "Zian naman..."

"Hmm?"

"Kinikilig ako."

That's when he laughed louder.

Gosh, how I missed that genuine laugh of his.

I noticed he was looking at my right hand, so I extended it to him. "You want us to hold hands? Sure, huwag ka na mahiya."

Sinimangutan niya muna ako bago tanggapin iyon. "What happened to this?" he said pertaining to my hand.

I looked down on it and I saw burn on my hand. "That was nothing. I attempted to cook last night with Kent, but then fire rose up, e, isa rin iyong pinsan mo na napakaduwag ayaw niya patayin iyong apoy, edi, ako nagpatay."

"Who's at fault then?" he asked. He brought my hand to his lips and planted a gentle kiss on it.

"Fire."

He looked at me in disbelief. "Nananahimik iyong apoy, sinisisi mo. Don't worry, I won't let you cook by yourself again. I'll guide you."

I smiled.

"I heard you drank last night," he said after a while.

"Yeah, with Kent and Jace."

His face softened. "Is it wrong if I say I'm jealous?"

I tilted my head. "Why? You can be jealous naman, but I can't point out why would you be, e, sila lang naman 'yon?"

"Even so, I mean, you drink with anybody... I even remember you smoked with Jollibee in that certain club..."

My brows furrowed. "Jollibee?"

He nodded. "Don't you remember?"

I shook my head. "Hindi ko maalala... iyan ba iyong pinuntahan mo 'ko?"

He nodded. "You drank with them even my friends... tapos tayo hindi pa."

I sat in indian seat, not minding the movie and just gave him my full attention. "For as far as I know, you're not an alcoholic person. Masarap ba ako kainuman?" I gave him a mischievous grin and arched my brow.

He twisted his lips. "I'm just wondering what it feels like to get drunk with you..."

Hays, Zian, kung saan-saan na naman lumilipad ang isip mo.

"Why, do you like to drink with me? Tell me your opinion, masarap ba ako kainuman o mas masarap ako kaysa sa inumin?" I wiggled my eyebrows.

He groaned. "You're so naughty."

I gave him a cute smile before kissing his nose. "Sorry, daddy," I said in a small voice that earned a laughter from him.

I scowled. "Nakakainis ka! I wasn't even joking!"

"Why are you always making me feel uncomfortable with your vulgar words and at the same time making me happy with it?"

I shrugged. "Sarili mo 'yan, ba't ako tinatanong mo?"

He frowned. "Nevermind, give me a hug." He extended his arm and instead of sitting beside him. I straddled on his lap and hugged him in that way.

He chuckled. "You always have your choice," he stated.

It feels like the pain and problems were already vanished. It's just about me and him in this moment.

"Zian, why did you love me?" I asked out of the blue.

"Just because."

"Give me a direct answer, not that one."

"I honestly unawared before with my feelings. Ayaw ko kaya sa 'yo dati."

"Ako rin naman! Don't be so full of yourself!" asik ko.

"Well, you're that spoiled-brat who doesn't know how to show gratitude or such towards someone. Napakasuplada mo at ang arte-arte..."

"Parang nang-iinsulto ka na, ah? I was just asking why did you love me!"

He chuckled. "I didn't love you just because you've changed, but I learned to love you more because of it. Alam mo iyon? I willingly love you, as in the whole you and even learned to accept and loved your imperfections."

I didn't answer.

"I was fine with your bratty attitude before. Of course it's who you really are, you don't even need to change yourself to please anyone... alam mo iyan dahil ganoon ka."

I nodded. Of course, why would I change myself for someone, ang kapal naman ng mukha niya kung sakali.

No one forced me to become better, I just did. I've willingly let myself to turn into something better, and the people around me especially Zian was just an instrument.

"My point is, I love you for who you are... kahit pa ikaw iyong pinakamainitin ang ulo at walang desisyon sa buhay kapag may period, at kahit pa ikaw iyong pinakasuplada sa mundo, I'll still love you. It's just you being you, understand?"

"Yes, sir."

I swear to God and to all saints, I will love this man for the rest of my life. I'm still young, but I am sure that I already found my own safe haven.

I lifted myself from resting on him when a phone rang.

Nagkatinginan kami.

But then he didn't move and just pulled me for a hug again. "Don't mind it. Let's just stay like this," he whispered gently.

"Zian... it might be an important call..."

He ignored me.

I sighed and reached for it instead.

My princess is calling...

"Who's this?" I answered the phone.

Zian was still hugging me, didn't bother me answering his phone call.

"Audrey, ikaw ba 'to? Oh my g! Salamat naman! Saan si Kuya?" Ariane answered enthusiastically.

"Zian..." I called, tapping him. "It's your sister," I said.

He abruptly looked at me in shock. "Ari?" he asked me, and when I nodded he immediately took the phone from my hand.

I smiled when I saw his eyes glistened when his sister called him on the phone.

This family-oriented guy. He loves her sister so much. And he gave me more reasons to be this deeply in love with him.

"Ari... 'di ka na ba galit sa 'kin?" he asked with his gloomy voice.

I put his one hand on my face while he's talking to his sister on the phone. He subtly kissed my jaw when we heard what his sister answered. "Medyo galit pa rin, Kuya."

I don't know if I would laugh or what. Damn, Reistres. Is it really running in the blood?

I stifled a laugh when I saw Zian's face went crumpled.

"Sorry, princess. I'll go home later, you want us to bond?" he wooed.

"Ayaw ko, may date kami ni Jace."

"Liar, Jace's busy right now, paano kayo magdidate?"

"He'll find a way to have time with me, Kuya."

He halted and sighed.

I felt bad for him. Ariane's so annoying! Nawala na naman tuloy iyong ngiti ng isang 'to!

I diverted his attention instead with my kisses. He didn't think twice to reciprocate my kiss with more intensity.

My breathing almost left me when his kisses trailed down my neck.

What the hell just happened? I mean, I love it... but is this really happening? Bigla na lang tuloy akong nilamon ng excitement!

"Zian..."

"Hello, Kuya? Joke lang, ito naman parang others. Biro lang, Kuya! Hello?— Hoy, ba't parang may narinig akong naghihingalo?!"

Gosh, Ariane's such a distraction! Sa pagkainis ko ay hinablot ko ang phone ni Zian, pinindot ang red button bago binato kung saan.

"Why did you throw—"

"Bond with me instead, daddy," I mischievously said, laughing.

"Persian!" saway niya, natatawa rin.

"Fine, I won't call you that again! Gosh, I missed Fernando," I dramatically said.

"Oh, sounds more hot than dad—"

"Don't divert your attention, Fernando. Just focus on our lesson for today."

"What lesson?"

I smirked and leaned closer to whisper on his ear. "Torrid kiss."

His jaw dropped when he realized it. Maya-maya ay sinubukan niyang kumalas sa 'kin para tumakas.

Stupid, nakakatakot ba 'yong lesson namin?!

"Zian!"

He looked at me nervously. "Sorry, absent muna ako sa lesson ngayon."

We looked at each other for seconds before we bursted into laughter.

Zian will always be Zian. Ang lakas ng loob para tumulong sa sambayanan, pero ang hina pagdating sa halikan.