Chapter 39: Defeat

"Dito na lang tayo kumain, ma. Nandito si Audrey, e."

"No, it's okay," I butt in.

Ariane's parents smiled at me. "Halika, hija. Huwag ka mahiya, hindi naman kami masasamang tao," sabi noong papa ni Zian.

I bit my lower lip and looked at Ariane to ask for a help. I am really nervous as heck!

But Ariane seemed like didn't notice it. "Tara na, tagal na naming naghintay na dalhin ka ni kuya, pero 'di ginawa. Naiinis na talaga ako sa kaniya," she said and accompanied me.

Nagpatiuna iyong parents niya kasama iyong little sister nila na karga ng mama.

"I'm really fine, nagpunta lang ako rito kasi akala ko nandito si Zian..."

She faced me, pouting. "Ikaw pumupunta kay kuya?" She groaned. "Ang sama talaga ng ugali niya, naiinis na talaga ako!"

"Why?"

I noticed that Zian and Ariane were sharing some resemblance, of course they're siblings. But Ariane isn't the gorgeous type, she's pretty and cute, hindi siya iyong tipong fierce kasi halatang soft siya inside and out.

"Later, sasabihin ko sa 'yo. Lunch muna tayo, nagluto pa naman ako specialty ko 'yon, balita ko pinaglulutuan ka ni kuya  for sure mas masarap 'tong luto ko."

We entered their house and headed to their dining room. Dahan-dahan akong umupo sa isang upuan, at tumabi naman si Ariane sa 'kin.

Come on, Audrey. Don't be shy, magiging in-law mo rin iyang mga taong kaharap mo ngayon.

"Chicken Curry 'to, sobrang sarap, promise." Ariane was about to serve me when I stopped her.

"I can," I said and got the serving spoon from her to put some dish on my plate.

We started eating, and I was really uncomfortable, but thanks to Ariane's mouth, the atmosphere's going fine.

"Pa, pagsabihan mo naman si kuya..."

"Na ano?"

I was just silently listening to them while eating.

Ariane merely glanced at me before speaking again. "Laging umaalis, tapos akala ko naman si Audrey ang pinupuntahan, e, si Audrey pa nga pumunta rito! Dapat siya ang nag-aadjust kasi lalaki siya."

I pursed my lips and accidentally connected my eyes on Zian's father, I immediately looked away.

"Hija, is Zirdy treating you nice?" he asked suddenly, so I had to look at him again.

I cleared my throat and nodded. "Yes... po."

Her parents exchanged glance.

"Hindi niya sinabi sa 'yo kung saan siya pupunta ngayon?" the mother asked.

"No, he didn't reply on my texts po."

Ariane let out a hiss beside me. "Ma, tawagan mo nga. Kapag ako talaga nainis, guguluhin ko kuwarto niya."

"Ano ba'ng problema mo, at inis na inis ka sa kuya mo?" sambit ng papa niya.

The baby cried, so her mother needed to leave the room for a moment. Kaya kaming tatlo na lang ang natira sa lamesa.

"Pa, si kuya kasi, e..." She glanced at me.

I arched a brow. "What?" I mouthed.

"Naalala mo ba 'yong babae na anak no'ng kasosyo ni Lolo Owen no'ng nakaraan?"

"Sa'n do'n?"

"Iyong Famorca po ang apelyido."

Mr. Reistre nodded as if he remembered it. "Iyon ba? O, as far as I know nag-pull-out na siya roon due to some reasons."

My forehead creased as Ariane's jaw dropped. "Talaga?!" Mukhang masaya pa siya na nag-pull-out ang lolo niya sa business kasama iyong family ni Lorraine.

"Why?"

"Buti naman, I never really like the guts of Mr. Famorca, buti naman nagback-out si lolo. Bakit daw?"

Her father shrugged. "Tanong mo sa kuya mo, wala pa akong updates sa ngayon may iba akong inaasikaso."

They're really quite rich. Mukhang simple lang sila, pero ang daming businesses and such.

"What about her daughter, anyway?"

They continued talking while I was just listening, bumalik na rin iyong mama niya at inilagay iyong baby sa crib na nasa gilid lang at nakisali na rin.

"Lagi sila sigurong magkasama ni kuya."

We all looked at her, our eyes met and she gave me an apologetic look.

"Itigil mo na 'yan, Ariane," saway ng mama niya nang nakita ang ekspresyon ko.

I breathed and spoke up. "It's okay po, I'm also here to make things clear... pero wala si Zian. But it's okay, we already have dealt with it..."

"You what?" si Ariane.

Napakamausyoso talaga niya.

"I know Lorraine, and... I guess, magkasama sila ulit ngayon. There's just something about the girl that Zian needs to be there," I explained.

"Oh, 'di ba sabi ko sa inyo, e! Alam din ni Audrey. Pagsabihan niyo naman si kuya, si Audrey ang girlfriend niya at hindi iyong isa."

"Maybe your kuya has valid reasons. Let's just wait for him to explain all of these."

We changed the topic to lighten up the mood. They asked me some random things about my family and whatnots.

I had to excuse myself when Daddy called my phone, I answered it the moment I reached the outside. "Dad."

"Audrey, where are you, anak?"

"I'm at Zian's, Dad. Just had lunch with his family."

"You met with his family?" he asked in his monotone voice.

"Not really, it was unplanned. Hindi ko naman alam na nandito rin sila. Why did you call me?"

"Fiona's here and looking for you. Makakauwi ka kaya mamaya?"

I sighed. What's up with her again? "I'll be there, tapos na rin naman kami..." At wala naman din si Zian dito.

I stayed for more like minutes before I decided to bid goodbye and say thank you for the lunch before I left and rode a grab on my way home.

"WHY did you call me for?" I asked Fiona the moment I saw her in the kitchen, eating lasagna.

She arched a brow and slid an envelope on the table. "You're invited."

"Sa?"

She scoffed. "Basahin mo, at 'wag puro tanong."

My lips twisted when I saw it was an engagement party card that will be held in a resort.

"This was a blow. After engaging me off to Kurt before, ikaw rin naman pala susunod? You shouldn't have pushed me if you like him. Stupid."

She made a face. "Ano, pupunta ka o hindi?"

"For your peace," I answered and took the envelope with me before going upstairs.

I was about to take a nap when my phone beeped, halos malaglag pa ako sa kama para abutin lang iyong phone ko.

And finally, Zian called me!

"Where the hell have you been?" bungad ko sa kaniya.

"Persian," he called in a low voice. "Did you wait for me?"

I rolled my eyes. "Obviously, but don't worry, umuwi na ako."

"I am sorry..."

I rolled my eyes once again. "Don't be sorry if you're really not. Ganoon pa rin naman, inuulit mo pa rin ba't ka pa mag-aapologize?" I sarcastically said.

He sighed on the other line. "Busy ka? Let's have a date."

I shook my head and laid on my bed. "Pagod ako, Zian. Magdate ka mag-isa mo or better si Lorraine ang i-date mo, tutal... mas nag-aalala ka sa kaniya."

Hindi siya nakapagsalita.

I closed my eyes and continued. "Siya na lang kaya gawin mong girlfriend? I'm hanging up now, magsisiesta pa ako." I then hung the call up and turned at the other side of the bed.

My phone kept in ringing, so I shut it down and turned on my speaker instead.

I breathed. Gosh, how I missed this... listening to music whenever I can't sleep properly. It's really comforting.

I'm starting to feel tired of understanding Zian. Maybe, we need a space. Bumalik na lang siya sa 'kin kung wala na akong kahati sa oras niya.

I woke up when I heard a knock. "Audrey, let's eat..."

It was Mom.

"Okay," I answered and got off my bed.

True enough, Mommy's doing things she didn't do before. Bumabawi na sila, and I am glad because we're getting along. Less arguments. 

Manang smiled at me when she saw me walking down the stairs. "Buti naman at bumalik ka na. Parang kami na lang nakatira rito simula nang umalis ka, e. Iyong mga magulang mo nasa trabaho, si Fiona naman laging umaalis papunta sa papa niya."

I just smiled. "You still okay here, manang?"

"Oo naman, itong batang 'to ang laki ng pinagbago mo. Siya, pumasok ka at hinihintay ka na nila."

"Won't you join us dinner?" I asked when she escorted me.

"Jusko, parang baguhan! Nauna na kaming kumain kaysa sa inyo!" she laughed.

"Okay." I opened the dining room's door and walked inside.

I stiffened when I saw who's inside.

"Thank you for taking care of my daughter, hijo."

"Ayos lang po," Zian politely answered.

My parents were sitting opposite from Zian. So, I walked and decided to sit beside him.

I caught their attentions. "What's with the feast?" I asked as I kept an stoic face in front of them, different dishes were served on the table.

I didn't take a glance at Zian and just looked at the food on the table.

"Your boyfriend went here earlier, e natutulog ka ayaw niya ngang pagisingan ka, and since we're planning to have a dinner might as well invite him over," si Daddy.

"I told you before you should bring him here, 'di mo naman dinala, buti nga't nandito na siya."

I glanced at Zian. "He's quite busy, so he had no time to be here," I said while looking at him straight in the face.

He looked at me with his guilty eyes, I smiled at him. "Haven't seen you in a while..." I whispered.

The atmosphere was a bit off, so I had to come up with a conversation, kahit hindi naman talaga ako nagsasalita tuwing nasa hapagkainan kami dati.

"The food's fine. Did Fiona already go home?" I asked while chewing my food.

Zian was also silent during our dinner. I barely glance at him, and my parents noticed that something's wrong between us.

"Her father picked her up earlier," Mommy  said in her sad voice.

"Did you miss her being around?" I asked and sipped on my juice.

She didn't answer.

I scoffed and didn't say anything.

The dinner didn't go well. It was awkward for Zian and it's not good for me. I guess, family dinner isn't for me.

"Come with me," I obeyed Zian while I'm walking upstairs, heading to my room.

I waited for him to enter my room before locking it behind me. He looked around before looking at me, fear written on his face.

Why does he always look scared of me?

I arched a brow and crossed my arms. "You had time to come here, himala yata?"

He closed his eyes tightly and looked at me again. He looked exhausted and stressed out. "Can you give me a hug first?"

I felt guilty when I heard how tired his voice also, so I nodded and went near him. He quickly caged me in his arms, and buried his face on my neck. His breathing went stable after a while.

"I missed you," he whispered.

I sighed and hugged him tight. We just stayed like that for more than ten minutes, just only listening to our own heartbeats.

"You should go home and rest."

He stared at me for too long. "Are we still okay?" he hesitantly asked.

"Are we still okay?" I asked back.

We remained silent, weighing the atmosphere.

"Don't let go of me yet. I'm still on it... can you wait for me? I don't wanna give you just half of my time, you don't deserve it. Will you wait for me, right? We'll just fix things, kaunti na lang..."

I pursed my lips. "Why would I wait for you? Kailangan ba buong araw nandoon ka? Grabe, Zian, we can still spend time together, bakit kailangan ko pang maghintay matapos iyang sa inyo? You're so frustrating, just go home."

"Persian, you know I love you, right?"

It still felt surreal hearing it from him. If it's not because of our situation, his 'I love you' would surely make my heart flutter, but hearing it from him with a pain in his voice. It pained me too.

"I know, but you're not trying enough. You're just saying it for assurance, but where's the action? You love me, but... why do I have to ask for your time?"

He sighed out of frustration and massaged the bridge of his nose. "Fvck this..." he mumbled and turned his back at me, trying to calm himself.

I never heard him curse, maybe he's doing it because he's now too frustrated. And instead of helping him... I'm one of those reasons why he's like this.

I love him.

That's the truth.

But love's not always the answer for me.

"Should I give you space, Zian? Let's... let's split up."

Agaran siyang napaharap ulit sa 'kin. His eyes reddened, tears started to form... again. "I don't want that, Persian."

My boyfriend's not the tough type of a person, but he's good. He cried once and it was because he's already frustrated and didn't know what to do anymore. And now's the second time... my heart ached at the sight of him.

"Hey, don't you dare to cry," I warned. "Can you just tell me everything? I am your girlfriend... you can tell me things you're having a hard time of. Don't you trust me?"

He bit the inside of his cheeks and pulled me again for a hug. "I trust you, ofcourse. There's just things that... I can't tell you..." he whispered.

I nodded and dragged him to sit on the edge of my head. He hugged me by the waist and buried his face on my stomach.

I sighed while carressing his hair. "I know you're already tired dealing with some things..."

He stayed like that, but I know he's listening.

"And me staying with you... made it harder."

"No," he mumbled.

I let out a frustrated sigh, still carressing his hair. "It was. Hindi ka naman mahihirapan sa kaniya kung wala kang iniisip na girlfriend. I am being a burden to you."

He looked up at me, brows furrowing. "No, you're not a damn burden, and you'll never be. Can you stop it, Persian? I just need to breathe, so please... I don't want where is this heading to." He then buried his face back on my stomach.

I chuckled bitterly. "Then why are you being like this? What made you to be this exhausted? Lorraine? Then stop helping her. I am not happy seeing you acting as her fvcking saviour, Zian. You're not a fvcking mighty God."

"Persian..."

I gritted my teeth and tried to remove his hold on me. When I succeeded, I cupped his face, making him look at me in the eye.

"Fvck you, Zian. You're so exhausting, can't you just cut whatever connections you have with her? Ako iyong nahihirapan sa 'yo, e..." I said with my murderous look.

"Persian," he uttered.

Pagak akong natawa at lumayo sa kaniya. "Do I have to make you choose?! Fine! I'll give you a hard time to decide. Ako o iyang Lorraine na 'yan?!"

His lips parted.

I was panting after shouting in frustration.

"You know I don't have to choose, Persian. It's obvious that I'll choose you over her, over anyone. I love you... and that's not a choice."

Gosh, I wanted to cry out of frustration.

"If you love me, stop caring for that girl."

He shook his head. "She needs someone."

And that made my heart clench.

"Find anyone who can help her! You're with me, and she should respect that! She's a fvcking destruction."

"Persian, I love you, okay? Please, bear with me. She needs to be saved, kaunti na lang..."

God, bakit ko ba minahal ang g*gong 'to?

"Ako iyong mahal mo, pero siya iyong kailangan mong sagipin? You're so confusing, Zian."

"Just this one. Give me another chance, Persian. This will be the last, please? Can you give me that?" he begged.

"And now you're begging for her sake? Ganoon ba ka importante iyang babaeng 'yan kaysa sa 'kin? How many times do I have to remind you, Zian?"

My tears started to fall. I hate him... I hate him so much.

"Hindi mo siya responsibilidad. Wala ba siyang pamilya? Your mom didn't bear you to suffer in someone's agony. You have your own life, stop sticking your nose in other's business... please."

"But she's one of the businesses I have to stick my nose in."

And after he uttered those words in my face... I cried in defeat.