Chapter 37: Pain

"Sabi mo tuturuan kita? Why are you just sitting there, pagod ka?"

I rolled my eyes and ignored him.

We're now in their kitchen. Ni-ready niya na iyong ingredients for the pancake while I was just on the highchair doing nothing.

"Was this because of that text?" he asked and hugged me from behind. "What do you want me to do? I already rejected her offer."

Ikinalas ko ang braso niya na nakayakap sa 'kin para harapin siya. "What's your connection with her?" As far as I know they became friends because of a business.

"We're just friends."

I squinted my eyes at him. "Nothing more?"

He nodded. "Nothing more."

I sighed. "Just keep a distance, okay? I don't like you near her, baka mamaya may gusto ka ro'n!"

He laughed. "Of course not! May girlfriend na ako—"

"But it doesn't stop you to like other girls! Hindi naman ibig sabihin may girlfriend ka, hindi ka na p'wede magkagusto sa iba."

"Yeah, but I'm not like that, I can assure you that. Come on, I only have my eyes on you ever since." He sat on the high chair beside me.

"Liar."

He chuckled and put his hand under his chin and looked at me. I saw how his eyes sparkled. "I don't lie."

"Liar, I could still remember every words you said before! Sabi mo, hindi mo ako magugustuhan, I am not your fvcking type, you'll never be my slave—"

He held my chin that made me stop. "I didn't lie that time, that was what I've felt before, but now, you know... everything can change. I don't like you before, but now I did... a lot." He said those words as if talking to my soul.

Natameme ako. "Okay, fine..."

He raised a brow. "Fine?"

"Let's make a pancake now." I kissed him on the lips before I got down.

He's mixing the flour inside the mixing bowl, put some ingredients and beated eggs. I was following his instructions while it was my turn to mix.

"This is so tiring," I complained as I continued mixing the flour and eggs together.

"Lahat naman nakakapagod sa 'yo," he answered. Pumunta siya sa likod at inayos ang buhok ko. "Pati pawis mo kumikinang," he said when I felt him wiping the sweats on my nape.

I went straight at their fridge for a pitcher of juice and to partner it with the pancakes. Nang natapos niyang lutuin iyong pancake, since sunog at durog iyong akin ay siya na ang tumapos baka raw wala na kaming makain atsaka kami dumiretso sa balcony ng kuwarto niya. It was one of my favorite place here.

"Let's put a chocolate syrup." Paikot kong ipinatak ang syrup sa pancake at tinikman iyon. "Love, come here." I pat the space beside me since Zian's standing and resting on the railing while watching me.

He obliged. "Masarap?"

I nodded. "Tikman mo," sabi ko, naglahad ako ng pancake na nasa tinidor sa bibig niya.

I chuckled when there's a syrup on the side of his lips. That fvcking pinkish and kissable lips.

I smirked when my foolishness mind gave me an idea. "Come close, just wanna try something." Naguguluhan niyang ilapit ang mukha sa 'kin. 

I put a small amount of syrup on my index finger and held his chin in place. "New discovery," I whispered while rubbing it on his lips.

"What are you doing, Persian?"

"Shh, huwag ka malikot." Dinagdagan ko pa sa lower lip niya hanggang sa occupied na iyon ng chocolate.

I devilishly lick my lower lip. "This seems so sweet than the pancakes." I giggled.

"I know what you're thinking."

"Good to know." I held his chin and stared straight at his lips.

I tilted my head and gently kissed him and it took not so fast for me to taste the syrup I put on. Until I felt him kissing me back...

He bit my lower lip as he gently pulled it using his teeth. I looked up at him with a teasing smile. "You're now biting me."

He clicked his tongue and brush his thumb against his lower lip. "Mas masarap pala 'tong sa 'yo, natural flavor."

I laughed and hugged him. "You're funny!"

He carressed my back. "I still have a syrup on my lips, remove it."

Humiwalay ako at tiningnan iyong labi niya. "Wala naman." But I still kissed him.

SUMMER class started, I already talked about it with our manager. At malapit na rin naman akong umalis doon para mag-aral.

Mas maaga na iyong shift ko since tanghali iyong summer class kaya naman Shanny took over my place, nalipat din siya but we're now hiring again. Marami kasi pala talagang branch ang Arblivan, at ang isa nandito sa Marikina.

"Big time ka pala, boyfriend mo may-ari ng restaurant."

Napabaling ako kay Shanny habang tinatanggal ang pagkakatali ng buhok ko. "Pardon?"

"'Di mo alam? Narinig ko nag-uusap sila ni manager kanina, hinihingi iyong insights ng resto rito sa Marikina para ikumpara sa iba pang branch, Sir nga tawag ni manager, e."

My lips parted. "You mean... Zian's the owner?"

"Oo, jowa mo tapos 'di alam, pagbuwag mo uy!"

I glared at her when I didn't understand her alien words. "Shut up."

"Edi, shut up."

After things got settled I went out and immediately saw Zian leaning against his car.

Is it really true that he's the owner of Arblivan? Or their family since it has many branches?

Maybe I'll just ask him later.

Zian sent me off in my university, 'coz I'm gonna take summer class for the subjects I've failed, and also to take exams.

While on our way I had the time to ask him, wala naman akong kaso ro'n kaya lang curiousity is killing me. "Zian?"

"Hmm?"

"How are you related with the resto I'm working?"

I looked at him when he didn't answer for a seconds passed.

"I heard from my co-worker that you're asking for the insights. Are you the owner or what?"

He heaved a sigh. "I am not the owner, but..."

He seemed nervous, so I chuckled. "Just curious, it does mean that I'm working for my boyfriend... and you're my boss."

"Family business, I was just obliged to look after it... and to you know, hindi ko naman alam na napadpad ka ro'n, still... I used the card to see you more often."

I covered my face before looking at him again who's now watching me. "Okay, that's enough."

"Is it okay with you?"

"Of course! I work for myself, and your family being the owner doesn't matter really."

He smiled. "Good to know, don't wanna make you feel uncomfortable."

"Not at all."

"GONNA pick you up later. Good luck."

"Thank you," I said.

He smiled and kissed my nose. "Don't stress yourself too much."

I wrinkled my nose. "Huwag mo nga akong pakiligin," reklamo ko bago siya halikan sa pisngi at dali-daling lumabas ng sasakyan.

Summer class took almost 7 weeks for me. It went on like that. Zian would pick me up from work and would send me off. After my class, he'd wait outside and we'll eat somewhere or he'll cook.

There's one time, I went home really tired. Wala si Zian kasi nagpaalam siya na may aasikasuhin siya kaya walang sumundo sa 'kin.

My forehead creased when I noticed some things went different, kakarating ko pa lang sa harap ng apartment nang nakita ko gaano ka-organized ang mga sapatos ko sa shoe rack sa gilid ng pintuan.

I opened the door and my jaw dropped when I saw someone sleeping on my sofa. I immediately dropped my bag and ran towards him.

Zian's sleeping peacefully yet having difficulty because the space he's sleeping on hasn't enough space for him to lay properly.

My heart softened at the sight of him.

I sat on the floor while watching him sleep. I was pouting the whole time while carressing his hair. "I thought you're busy..." I whispered and kissed him on his cheek.

I rested my head on the space beside him, still carressing his hair in that way. When he moved, I immediately looked at him.

I cleared my throat when he slowly opened his eyes and met with my gaze. "Why are you sleeping here?" I whispered.

Napabangon siya at nag-inat. "Oh, geez. I fell asleep, nakaligtaan ko iyong oras..."

I smiled. "It's okay. So, why are you here? Akala ko busy ka?"

He shook his head. "It finished early, so I went all the way here and..." He looked away.

"And?"

"I just cleaned..." he said, embarassed.

My eyes widened. "You what?!"

He smiled at me hesitantly. "Nevermind, let's eat. Maaga akong nakapagluto kasi akala ko matatapos ka kaagad. Pupunta na sana ako sa university mo kanina kaso masyado pang maaga kaya pumunta muna ako rito."

I wandered my eyes in my apartment, and I really saw the differences. It was neat and clean.

He cleaned every corner of my apartment.

I entered my room, and it's clean too. My eyes landed on my basket and my jaw dropped when I realized something.

Lumabas ulit ako at sinamaan ng tingin si Zian na naghihintay sa 'kin. "Don't tell me..."

He looked at me, clueless.

"You washed my clothes?!" I exclaimed and went outside to check if my clothes were hanging.

And outside, I saw my clothes on a hanger, he hung it by size. 

Napaface-palm na lang ako sa kahihiyan. Does that mean... he also washed my undergarments?!

"Zian..." I called.

He's just watching me.

"Did you wash my underwear?"

He nodded. "Yes."

I frowned. "Nakakainis ka!"

"Why? It's fine. I know you're busy and tired, so you didn't have the time to clean generally. " He even had the guts to shrug it off.

"Nagpapalaundry lang ako kaya dapat 'di ka na naglaba."

He frowned. "Ikaw mismo nagsabi sa 'kin na magtipid ako, bakit ka pa pupunta sa laundry shop, e,  p'wede naman akong maglaba ng damit mo?"

I hissed and went near him to hug. "You're so annoying!"

He chuckled. "Sorry, don't think about it. I just wanna lift some burden on you."

"Underwear ko kasi 'yon!" I complained.

He laughed. "Ngayon ka pa nahiya, e, hindi ka nga nagsusuot ng bra sa harapan ko?"

I pouted when I realized that. "Fine!"

He looked at me in amusement.

I tiptoed and kissed him on the lips. "I love you, jerk."

He smiled and I noticed his ears turned red. "I love you so much, brat."

"LET'S have a date."

I almost fell from my bed when Zian broke the silence. After the last day of summer class we're just in my apartment doing nothing.

He looked at me in fraction. "Careful, Persian, will you?"

I pouted. "Ikaw kasi, you're surprising me! Wait, I'll just get changed!"

I wore a chain strap crop top and a denim skirt before I went out. "Is it okay?" I asked. Satisfied naman ako sa sinusuot ko dati, pero pakiramdam ko kailangan kong tanungin ang opinyon niya.

Zian was with his crossed legs when he looked at me with that eyes of his. "It's nice and sexy... too revealing, but it's good kaya mo naman sumapak."

I scowled. "Zian!"

He chuckled and stood to go near me. "Maganda nga, pero ba't kadena 'to?" Sabay hawak niya roon sa chain strap ng suot kong top.

I hit his chest. "Ignorant!"

He laughed.

"Maganda ka naman kahit ano'ng suotin mo. Promise, I'm not lying." He kissed my shoulder before wiggling his eyebrows. "Ganda naman ng baby ko," he teased and hugged me.

I pursed my lips. "Would I look more gorgeous with a lingerie on?"

He stiffened. "Huh?"

I suppressed a laugh when I noticed how his voice changed, he's a bit nervous. "Should I wear a lingerie always, so I'd look gorgeous in your eyes?" I stepped backward to look at his face.

He twisted his lips and narrowed his eyes at me. "Kahit duster maganda ka pa rin, hindi naman magbabago iyon kasi iyon pa rin naman tingin ko sa 'yo."

We went to peryahan near here in Marikina. We played games there and we even took many rides. As an outcome, I vomit.

"I told you, I don't wanna ride that fvcking octopus!" I almost cried back there, paano kasi ang bilis ng andar tapos iyong mismong seat namin umiikot, hindi ako nag-enjoy,  nahilo lang ako.

He looked at me in fear. "Sorry na... sabi mo kasi kanina gusto mong subukan," he mumbled and handed me the bottled water.

"Then you should've stopped me," I shot back and drank the water straightly.

He's right, I was the one who insisted to ride that freaking dizzily ride out of curiosity, and he just followed me.

"I am sorry, okay? We won't ride that again."

When I smiled, his eyes sparkled. "God knows how you make me go insane."

We're eating a sea food at the food court near, he's busy cracking the cooked crabs when his phone rang inside his pocket.

"Can you answer the phone, love?" he asked, he's serious from what he's doing with his brows furrowed.

I nodded and took his phone out from his pocket. I answered it without looking from the caller's name.

"Hello?"

I heard sob from the call. "Z-Zian..."

My lips parted and looked at the screen.

It was Lorraine who's crying from the other line.

I glanced at Zian who was still busy.

"What's wrong?" I almost whispered and kept a distance from Zian.

"S-Sino 'to?"

"His girlfriend."

"Audrey?"

"Yes," I proudly answered.

"Sorry, ha... pero p'wede ko ba makausap si Zian? Promise, malinis ang intensyon ko..."

"What do you need from him?"

She was about to answer when Zian finally looked at me. "Who's that?"

I sighed and handed his phone.

I was just watching him intently while he's talking to Lorraine.

"Bring your meds with you, wait me there. You can wait, right?"

I felt a pang on my chest when I saw his eyes filled with worry.

I remained silent and diverted my gaze on the table.

"Persian..."

"Hmm?" I answered, without glancing at him.

"Can we go now? Emergency, love."

I looked at him, disappointed. "How about these foods?"

He swallowed hard. "We can take these out."

"No, let's eat first before we go."

"Persian..." he begged.

"This is our fvcking date, Zian," I reminded him, getting mad.

"Yeah, I know, I know..."

"Now, eat before we go," I obeyed with authority.

We started eating, but appetite already left me. "Let's go, I don't think I can enjoy this fvcking food." I wiped my mouth with the tissue and aggressively stood up.

I started walking away, leaving him there.

That Lorraine.

Fine, I know something's wrong with her, but... why was it always on time?

Zian just sent me off outside my apartment. I really wanted to slap him, good thing my parents arrived. So, instead thinking of Zian, I entertained my parents in my apartment.

Gusto pa nga nila makasama si Zian saglit, but I told them he's in an emergency, and Zian apologized to us, but I didn't look at him.

I AM now inside Zian's room, he's doing something on his lappy for the course he's going to take in college.

One week had passed since that day, he apologized for like million times. He even bombarded my phone with hundred of messages each day of that week until I gave in and forgave him.

"Hey, have you noticed something? Seemed like my boobs got bigger, you're not even touching these even once, how the hell this happened?" I asked out of the blue while examining myself in his full-length mirror.

"What?" he said looking at my reflection while drumming the pen against his lips.

"Did I gain weight?" I tilted my head while waiting for his answer.

I was really bored to the point I was checking myself in the mirror.

He examined me for almost a minute, biting the pen, until he looked at me in the mirror. "What do you want to hear from me?"

I frowned. "Seriously?"

"But, love, I don't wanna get you mad after hearing what you don't want to hear," aniya at umalis sa pagkakadapa sa kama.

I glared at his reflection and turned my feet on to join him in the bed. "Nagagalit ba ako?" I held his chin, making him look at me.

He shook his head attentively. "Hindi."

"I got mad once!"

His lips parted. "Yeah, nagalit ka nga pala... are you hungry?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm sleepy," I boredly said and rested my head on his chest. "Can we sleep? Mamaya mo na gawin iyang nasa laptop mo."

His shoulder vibrated from laughing. "Okay, if that's what you want. Buwan mo nga pala kasi ngayon." He cleaned his things up carefully while I was still resting my head on his chest.

"Come here." Hinila niya ako pagkatapos para makahiga kaming dalawa nang maayos. He covered me a duvet while hugging me, I rested my head on his chest and hugged him tighter as I dozed off to sleep.

I woke up when I felt Zian kissed my forehead. This was still my position before I slept, hindi muna ako gumalaw nang napansin kong may ginagawa siya sa phone niya.

He sighed and kissed my forehead again.

My forehead creased and I noticed something's off.

"Damn it," he muttered a curse under his breathe and continued doing something on his phone.

Gagalaw na sana ako, pero nauna siya. Dahan-dahan kong naramdaman ang pagkalas niya sa 'kin. I pretended sleeping when he put a pillow in my arms instead before kissing my nose.

When I felt him leaving the bed, I slowly opened my eyes and looked around. Kakapasok pa lang niya ng bathroom, at parang nagmamadali pa siya.

Bumangon ako at aksidenteng may nahawakan. I saw his phone, and it was my cue to take it when it beeped.

A message.

Lorraine:

Pasensiya na talaga, ha? Pero kasi hindi ko kaya, e, wala akong ibang malalapitan.

I heaved a problematic sigh.

It was her again.

I threw his phone back on the bed and covered my face with the pillow, trying to sleep again.

They're friends, and as Zian said walang ibang kaibigan iyong babae kaya siya lang iyong nilalapitan kapag may problema. I should stop acting like a child, it's Zian's life, pero... hindi naman kasi niya responsibilidad iyon.

I trust Zian so much, and I know he won't cheat, that's the least thing I'd think of. Wala rin naman akong pake kay Lorraine, as long as Zian's in love with me, I have no worries.

But it already happened once... and now's the second time.

Zian wouldn't even tell me what's up with that girl. He'll just always tell me she needs a friend.

I really couldn't back to sleep when I knew my boyfriend will later leave me to comfort another girl.

So, when he went out from bathroom, well-dressed, our eyes automatically locked with each other.

"Where are you going?" I asked, almost warning.

"L-Lorraine."

And by just mentioning her name, I feel the pain of stepping back. "Okay." I nodded.

As long as he's not lying in my face.

"I am really sorry. I feel I have to be there, my conscience can't—"

"I understand, umalis ka na baka mapaano pa siya," I bitterly said.

Natigilan siya. "Persian..."

I ignored him until he's now beside me.

"You know I'm into you, right? I only have my eyes on you..."

I nodded again. "I know that. I trust you," I said, my voice almost broke.

"God knows how I want not to leave you here, but I just can't ignore her," he reasoned out and pulled me for a hug. "Wait for me, okay? Mabilis lang talaga, uuwi kaagad ako."

I nodded.

He kissed my forehead, nose, and lips. "I only love you," he whispered and hugged me again before picking his phone up and left me.

I couldn't help, but to stare in nowhere.

Why am I being like this? I have the right to stop him because I'm his girlfriend... but that boyfriend of mine always choose to be kind-hearted, parang lahat ng tao kapag nanghingi ng tulong sa kaniya ay tutulungan niya kahit maiwan pa ako.

I know he has already that personality of his even before we got into a relationship.

But at some point, I felt the pain of being not his main priority.

"MISS mo kami, 'no?"

"No, I called you to hang out."

Kinabukasan, tinawagan ko si Marga at Rhiane para makasama. Parang ayaw ko munang kasama si Zian ngayon, umuwi naman siya kaagad gaya ng sabi niya, pero hindi pa rin mawala sa isipan ko iyong dahilan kung bakit kailangan niyang umalis.

"Huwag mo nga kaming pakitaan ng problemadong mukhang  'yan," si Marga.

I ignored her and just ordered us a drink. We're currently in a bar, wearing a sexy red dress. I couldn't care less.

I just want to get wasted tonight. The pain's too much to bear... paano pa kaya sa mga susunod na araw?