Chapter 30: Reason

"Where did you get him, Audrey?" Mommy asked and took a glance at Mr. Vallejos beside me.

Tulala si Mr. Vallejos nang makita si Mommy, parang ngayon niya lang ito nakita nang malapitan. I can't blame him though, he longed for his wife and seeing his wife's twin feels like he has seen her too.

"He's Mr. Vallejos, Mommy," I said in a low voice. What Mommy told Daddy couldn't just erase in my mind. It's just too painful.

"V-Vallejos? What? What do you mean?" sunod-sunod na tanong ni Mommy.

"Yeah, he's my professor... and I guess, may nabubuo ng ideya sa isip mo."

"Ngayon lang kita nakita. Who are you?" Mommy asked at Mr. Vallejos.

"Violet's my wife. Your daughter told me everything, and there's one thing I wanna ask... Where is my wife and daughter right now?"

Nagkatinginan kami ni Mommy. She cleared her throat before looking at him again. "Let's talk inside my office," she said and turned her back to go in her office.

Sumunod naman kaming dalawa ni Mr. Vallejos. Umupo ako sa pinakadulo at malayong upuan sa kanila at doon na lang nanahimik.

"What are you doing here, Audrey? Go to your father, I don't wanna see you here."

I lifted my gaze at mom before slowly nodding. I sighed and went outside to find Daddy.

"Where's the director's office?" I asked the nurse.

"This way, ma'am." She told me the direction before bowing her head.

I nodded and left to go at Daddy's office.  I knocked many times before someone opened the door.

"Audrey?" Daddy asked behind this man who opened the door.

I tiptoed to see Daddy. He motioned me to come in.

"Iwanan mo muna kami, I'll just call you if I need something."

"Okay, doc."

"Hija, come here. What are you doing here?" he asked with a worry laced in his tone.

"She'll gonna be fine, right?" I asked pertaining to Fiona.

He nodded and examined my face before standing up. "Have a seat here, hija." He pointed at the chair beside him.

Tumango ako at umupo na lang doon. Pagkabalik niya ay may hawak-hawak na siyang medicine kit.

"Your mom's worst," he stated and picked out a cottonballs inside the kit. He also got an ice pack.

"Both of you are," I corrected.

He stiffened on his seat and looked at me in fraction. "Audrey..." he called, guilt was visible in his voice.

"Lahat kayo, you are all worst, dad..." I added.

Daddy put down the things he's holding and gave all his attention to me. "Sorry, anak..."

I swallowed hard as I felt the lump on my throat. Anak? After years, ngayon ko lang narinig ulit iyon. "Why are you all treating me like this, Dad?" I asked. "I wouldn't be like this if it's not because all of you. You're the reason why I'm like this. A disgrace, right?"

He shook his head. "No, that's not true, Audrey. I love you, okay?"

"Words... easier said than done," I whispered and looked down.

"I am sorry, hija... please, listen to me—"

"Why, Daddy? May sasabihin ka? Go, and I'll fvcking listen," galit na untag ko.

"I will explain everything, okay? Just please, listen," pagsusumamo niya.

I stared at him blankly while waiting.

"Fiona's not your sister," he started.

I'm not shocked at all. Alam ko na bago mo pa sabihin.

"Then?"

"You're not shocked?"

I tsked. "Ano'ng gusto mo, Dad? Magulat ako?"

He ignored my remarks and continued. "She's daughter of your mom's twin sister, Violet. She passed away when you were still in your mom's womb. Fiona's one year older than you. One time, her sister came back in the Philippines from where country they lived. Her sister was miserable when we saw her, and with a little girl. As far as I know, your mom and her sister weren't in good terms, but your mom loved her so much even Violet hated her."

"Why would Violet hate Mommy?" I asked.

Napaisip siya bago ulit nagsalita. "Your grandparents didn't like Violet's boyfriend for it is poor..."

"And they agreed with you?"

Nag-aalinlangan man ay tumango si Daddy. "We're quiet rich, Audrey. We have a medical hospital and such, at hindi iyon hadlang para maging kami ni Scarlet. Her family's strict, but they like me... no, they just liked my money."

I just listened.

"I guess Violet started rebelling and escaped with her boyfriend, makalipas ang ilang taon si Violet na mismo ang lumapit sa amin, doon siya tumira panandalian nang hindi sinasabi kung ano ang dahilan bakit umuwi siya. Until one time, iniwan niya si Fiona sa 'kin, she also left a letter saying that she doesn't like living her life anymore, ayaw niyang nakikitang nagdurusa ang asawa niya para mabuhay sila ng anak niya kaya umalis sila. Ipapanganak ka na noon nang nalamang... nagpakamatay si Violet."

"That's a lame reason to take your life away," I commented.

Daddy nodded. "I know. That's why your mom's treating Fiona like what she treats her. Gusto niyang bumawi sa kapatid kaya idinadaan niya ito kay Fiona. We treated her like our own, we gave everything at alam kong hindi kami nagkulang sa kaniya..."

I smiled bitterly. "Pero sa 'kin, Daddy... ang dami niyong pagkukulang ni Mommy... Tell me, anak niyo ba talaga ako o baka naman may tinatago pa kayo?"

"No, anak ka namin, Audrey. Don't say that... Inaalagaan lang namin nang maayos si Fiona dahil ayaw naming isipin niya na hindi siya nabibilang sa atin."

I scoffed and looked at him in disbelief. "Para ba maalagaan niyo nang maayos si Fiona, kailangang pabayaan niyo ako? For her not to feel an outcast, kailangang pagkaitan niyo ako? Ako kasi, Daddy... I felt left out, an outcast... I felt I wasn't belong. Anak niyo rin naman ako, 'di ba?"

Daddy started to cry.

I sniffed and continued. "Because, Dad... even if you give me the most expensive things in this world, I still won't be happy, yes, I have all the things I want and need, but I still feel incomplete..."

I bit my lower lip. "You failed to give me the love, care, and attention that you shouldn't have forgotten in the first place."

"At 18, I realized everything. Expensive things don't matter. Wealth doesn't matter for it won't give you the happiness that lasts."

I then cried. I have to let these feelings out. I don't wanna be hurt anymore. After this, mababawasan na iyong hinaing ko.

Nakikinig lang si Daddy sa akin, at hindi na makatingin. Nasa baba ang tingin at pansin ko ang panginginig ng kamay niya.

"Do you know why am I like this? I am not the good girl that Fiona is. Siguro, hindi niyo ako napalaki at natutukan nang maayos? No, because I chose this path I am taking. Being like this... I could able to make you all suffer. Being like this... I am hoping you all to realize that I need to be taken care of. And you all failed to see it."

My tears fell and I smiled genuinely when I remember this someone who doesn't get tired of reminding me. "But you know, Dad? I am thankful you sent me at Archie's house. There, I met someone who made me realize almost everything. I somehow learned to appreciate small things, be good to someone even it treats you bad, learned to apologize whenever you're wrong or even you're right. I learned that love isn't just romantic, you'll feel it around you, but why did I fail to feel that love when I am home?"

I pursed my lips. I realized right now... that I am starting to love him... Ever since he did me wrong, I always questioned myself that I didn't do before.

I was like a chaos being tantalized by the serene. And instead of getting in mess, I chose to be embraced by its calmness.

That's how Zian made me. And it's only him.

Daddy didn't able to speak up when I stood up and wiped my tears away. "I'm going, and right... I brought Fiona's father here. You should explain everything to him. I don't like that annoying professor treats me in university," I reminded.

Pumanhik na ako palabas nang natigil din kaagad. I saw Mommy outside, and I am not stupid to think she didn't hear anything from inside wherein fact I saw how her eyes produced tears.

I looked away and passed by her.

Now, I have to see that jerk because I miss him.

"MA'AM, hindi po p'wedeng pumasok kapag walang permit—"

"At kailan pa kinailangan ng permit bago pumasok sa village na ito?" naiinis na tanong ko.

"Ngayon lang po, ma'am," nakayukong sagot ng guard.

I gritted my teeth. "And why's that? I need to see—"

"Ma'am, may krimen po kasing nangyari sa isa sa bahay sa village na ito at hindi pa nahahanap ang posibleng suspek kaya kinakailangan po munang maging mahigpit. Ni hindi po kayo taga rito dahil wala kayong—"

"Hindi ako taga rito dahil iyong..." Ano ko nga ba si Zian? "Iyong kaibigan ko ang pupuntahan ko rito."

"Hindi po uso ang kaibigan, ma'am baka naman ikaw ang suspek, ma'am?"

"Aba't— and now you're accusing me? How dare you!" Akmang hahampasin ko siya nang sumalag kaagad siya kahit wala pa naman.

"Sino po ba kasi ang pupuntahan niyo, ma'am?"

"Zian," I answered.

"Sino pong Zian? Ano'ng full name para masiguro ko po." He took a log book and waited for my answer.

"Fernando Zian," kunot noong sagot ko.

He looked at me and shook his head. "Ma'am, masama po ang nagsisinungaling. Wala pong Fernando Zian ang nakatira rito."

"How about... Zian Magsaysay?" I said.

"Teka lang, ma'am."

I sighed and fanned myself. Napapagod na ako kakatayo rito at ang tagal niyang maghanap.

"Ma'am, wala rin po. Ano ba kumpletong pangalan isisearch ko na lang sa monitor."

I wanted to shout out of frustration, but I calmed myself before I burst out here. Sunod-sunod din ang busina ng sasakyan sa likod ko, pero hindi ko iyon pinansin.

"Fernando Zian Magsaysay Jr.," I said.

"Ano, ma'am? Paulit nga po medyo mahaba po at mabilis ang pagkakasabi niyo."

Sarap tuktukan.

"Fernando Zian Magsaysay Jr.!" halos pasigaw na ulit ko.

He scratched the back of his head. "Wala pong ganoon ang pangalan, ma'am—"

"Pareng bodyguard, ano problema natin diyan?" someone cut off.

Pareho kaming napalingon doon. At doon, nakita kong nakasungaw si Kent sa labas ng bintana ng sasakyan niya. Nakita ko pa ang mga kasamahan niya na nakikiusisa rin galing sa loob ng sasakyan na kasunod.

"Sir, may hinahanap siya na Fernando Zian Magsaysay Jr. ang pangalan."

I glared at him.

"Sino raw?"

"Fernando raw, ewan 'di ko marinig nang maayos."

"Loko, Magsaysay! Si Audrey iyan, 'di ba? Hindi naman yata naliligaw iyan."

"Si Zian ata sadyan niyan dito!"

I crossed my arms as I heard them talk.

"Papasukin niyo po iyan, kilala po namin iyan. Ano po ba nangyari?"

"Pinaghihigpit po kasi ng management ngayon na huwag muna magpapapasok basta-basta kasi may krimen na nangyari sa loob. E, hindi ko po kilala si Ma'am wala rin siyang permit."

"Ganoon? Ayos lang, kaibigan po namin iyan. Sakay na, Audrey, papunta rin kami kanila Fernando," aniya sabay tayong tumawa.

I nodded and turned to hop inside the car. Sa likod ako sumakay dahil iyon lang naman ang may bakante pa katabi ni Ariane.

"Where's Zian?" kaagad na tanong ko nang umandar na ulit ang sasakyan papasok ng village.

"Ah, si Fernando ba kamo? Ewan, 'di namin alam." Sabay halakhak ulit ni Kent.

I glared at his back.

"Hindi nga namin alam, e. Akala ko nga kasama mo, hindi umuwi kagabi!"

"Kent, baka nag-transform si Zian bilang Fernando?" segunda ni Sam.

The car filled with their laughters. "Hoy, huwag niyong ganyanin si Kuya! Bakit kasi Fernando, Audrey? Ano ba mayroon?"

I also glared at her. "What's wrong with all of you?"

Natahimik sila hanggang sa nasa tapat na kami ng bahay ni Zian pero kaagad ding nagsitawanan nang sumigaw galing sa labas si Archie. "Fernando Magsaysay, lumabas ka r'yan! Panagutan mo 'ko!"

I couldn't help but to feel embarrassed. What's so funny?

"Sabi may krimen daw, baka napahamak na si Zian, 'tol."

"Hoy, Sam, napakanegative mo!" saway ni Trisha.

"Baka pumalit na si Zian sa puwesto ng Presidente? Hindi ba, Magsaysay rin iyong presidente dati?" si Chesca.

They all laughed again.

"Bakit hindi umuwi si Zian? Saan ba siya?" pag-iiba ko ng topic habang binubuksan na ni Ariane ang gate ng bahay.

"Hindi nga namin alam kaya nga kami pumunta rito para tingnan kong nandito ba siya. Baliw talaga iyon, hindi pumasok kanina," si Sam.

I started to feel nervous. I followed them from behind to enter the house.

"Ano ang nangyari sa 'yo, Audrey?" Ariane whispered to me when her friends went straightly to the kitchen.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"You looked exhausted," she said.

I raised a brow. "I am. Now, where's your brother?" I asked again and roamed my eyes inside the house.

"Kinakabahan na nga ako, e. Basta umuwi siya sa bahay kagabi tapos umalis din, nag-text siya na may gagawin lang siya saglit tapos ayon hanggang ngayon 'di pa pala umuuwi, ni hindi pumasok kaninang umaga."

"Did your parents look for him?"

"Sabi ni Lolo, huwag na raw kami mag-alala kasi may importante lang daw na ginagawa si Kuya. Hinayaan na rin nila, pero hindi kasi ako mapanatag, e kaya kami mismo ang hahanap sa kaniya. Baliw talaga iyong si Kuya hindi man lang ako ni-text."

I nodded. "Wait, I'll just check my phone."

"Sige, take your time. Baka nasa tabi-tabi lang si Fernando," natatawang aniya at umalis sa harap ko.

I hissed before looking at my phone.

He didn't text me even a single message.

"Alam ko na! Nakita ko si Pareng Fernando kagabi may kasamang ibang babae!"

I diverted my attention to their group approaching me.

Archie then looked at me. "Pinagpalit ka na ni Fernando, kawawa ka naman," kunwaring naiiyak na aniya.

"Seryoso ka, Archie? Nakita mo si kuya?"

"Oo, Anella. Matalas ang limang organs ko. At totoong naalala ko! Nakita kong lumabas ng pharmacy si—"

"Ano ang ginagawa mo sa pharmacy?" putol ni Kent.

"Ah, ano... bumili ng—"

"Aminin mo na lang na magkasama tayo kagabi! Napakaingay kasi ng bunganga mo, tuloy kailangan mong ipaliwanag lahat!" Chesca hit Archie on his head.

"Ba't kayo magkasama kagabi?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

"Secret para bibo," Archie answered.

"Ako na nga magpapaliwanag! Kapag tayo nalintikan, ikaw ituturo ko!" Pinandilatan ng mata ni Chesca si Archie.

"Bakit ako? E, ikaw naman magpapaliwanag! Kung malintikan ako, dapat ikaw rin!"

"Tumigil na nga kayong dalawa! Magsasalita kayo o bubusalan ko na lang kayo?" si Kent.

"Ito na nga, boss, e. Chesca, paliwanag mo na may limang minuto ka pa bago mamatay."

"Buwisit ka talaga!" Hinampas ni Chesca si Archie.

I sighed. "Gusto niyo mamatay nang maaga?" I asked.

"Ayaw ko, Audrey, aanakan ko pa 'tong si—"

"Buwisit ka iyang bibig mo! Sinasabi ko sa 'yo!"

And just like that, the four-walled house filled with their laughters.

I sighed again.

Hindi na ako natutuwa sa kakatawa nila kanina pa.

"Ito na nga, mag-aayos na, e. Patay talaga ako kay utol ko baka hindi ako makagraduate, naiiyak na kaagad ako." Archie wiped his fake tears. Lumapit pa siya kay Chesca at hinila ang tela ng uniform nito bago roon suminga.

"Buwisit ka! Kadiri kang demonyo ka!"

"What the hell, Archie? You're so gross!" I exclaimed and let out a disgusted look.

"Biro lang, wala naman akong sipon!"

"Archie, mag-aayos ka o ihahagis ko sa 'yo si Ari?"

"Ba't naman si Anella pa, Kent? Si Chesca na lang ihagis mo sa 'kin tapos ihahagis ko rin siya sa rooftop. Pasa-pasahan ganoon."

I gritted my teeth and walked near before giving him a punch on his face. "Stop blabbering and get to the point."

I heard gasps.

"Aray, puchek! Ang sakit no'n, ah? Ito na nga, e! Kasama niya iyong babae! Hindi ko alam pangalan pero kasama niya raw iyon tuwing may meeting kasama si Lolo Owen!" he answered.

"Sarap talaga kutusan ni Zirdy Ivan," Kent murmurred beside me and started manipulating his phone.

"Zirdy Ivan?" I asked.

"Ganito kasi iyan, Audrey, ang pangalan ni kuya ay Zirdy Ivan Reistre at hindi Fernando Zian Magsaysay Jr., sino ba ang may sabing iyon ang pangalan ni kuya at makakatikim ng fresh kutos sa 'kin?"

My lips parted. "What?"

So, all along I was wrong? Kaya ba pinagtatawanan nila ako?

My eyes landed on Archie, bago pa siya makaatras ay sinabunutan ko na ang buhok niya. "Fvck you! You made me look stupid!"

"Hoy, awat na! Awat na nandiyan na si Magsaysay, dali!" si Trisha at sinubukan kaming awatin.

I glared at Archie. "I hate you!"

"Sorry na, insan, nagbibiro lang ako, e! Ano pala nangyari sa pisngi mo? Kawawa naman 'tong pinsan ko, gagamutin kita—"

"Shut up!" Pinanggigilan ko muna ang pisngi niya bago humiwalay at inayos ang sarili.

"Where's that jerk?" I asked and turned at them.

Kaagad na namutla si Trisha nang harapin ko siya. "Ah, ano... prank lang iyon, gusto mo tulog muna tayo sa taas? Tara..."

I swayed her hand when she tried to reach it. "No."

Naglakad agad ako papunta sa bukana para tingnan kung nandoon na ba si Zian.

And yes, he's already here.

But with someone...

Parang bigla akong natauhan. "What the fvck is this, Zirdy Ivan?" I asked with a warning and anger laced in my tone.

"Audrey? Hmm..." He glanced at the girl beside her.

I narrowed my eyes and quickly recognized who she is.

Oh, that fvcking Lorraine.

"What is she doing here? And why the fvck did you bring her here?"

The entire house filled in silence.

"Audrey..." He looked nervous before uttering the dumbest excuse ever. "Makikiinom daw siya ng tubig..."

There's a moment of silence before I heard giggles and laughs behind me.

"Turuan mo nga magrason si Zian, ang tanga-tanga, e."

"Bobo, first time niya iyan kaya hayaan mo siyang mag-isip. Tali-talino tapos makikiinom ang sagot? Ayos sana kung ang irarason niya gagawa sila ng project."

"Tanga ka rin, hindi naman natin iyan classmate."

"Hindi naman nagsisinungaling si kuya..."

I cleared my throat. "Makikiinom? Bakit wala bang tubig sa labas? Ang daming tindahan doon, 'di ba? " I glanced at the girl who looked nervous too. "Ano bang mayroon sa tubig nina Zian na wala sa tubig sa labas, ha?"

"Baka may kulay iyong tubig dito," rinig kong sambit ni Archie.

I glared at them before walking. I stopped midway and glared at Zian. "Next time, gamitin mo ang pagiging matalino mo kung magrarason ka. Bukod kasi sa napaghahalataang nagsisinungaling ka, nagmumukha ka ring tanga."