Chapter 21: Love

"You don't have to like me back. Ayaw ko kasi baka mawalan ng thrill."

He stared at me for long before scoffing after hearing what I said. "It's not like that. Ayaw ko naman talaga sa 'yo."

I shrugged. "As you said so."

"Dali na, patingin na."

"Fine." I took my phone out and just read what's on the picture instead. "We'll construct an 800-word essay... about love."

I hissed after reading it. "Love? So corny," I added.

I heard him snort. "Love conquers everything," he stated and started taking down notes.

I looked at him in equal disbelief before crouching down to see clearly what he was writing. "Everything my ass," I said.

"Huwag ka maingay, ikaw na nga tinutulungan, e. Upo ka rito banda para naman kahit papaano may pakinabang ka." Itinuro niya ang kama na kaharap niya lang.

I pouted and obeyed him. Magkaharap na kami at nakatunganga lang ako sa kaniya habang may isinusulat siya. I actually know how to construct essay, palusot lang talaga para pumayag siya na rito muna ako.

"Paano mo naman nasabi na 'love conquers everything'?"

He sighed and brushed his hair using his left hand while the other hand is holding a pen. "There'll no struggles. Kung mananaig ang pag-ibig, walang gulo."

I tilted my head. "That's not true."

"Edi, ikaw sumagot. Think deeply why love conquers everything."

"I can't answer that!"

He clicked his tongue and sighed. "Look, I'll try to make you understand. Besides, we all have different perspective kung hindi ka sang-ayon sa 'kin, okay lang dahil opinyon lang naman 'to."

"Then tell me."

He tapped his finger against the table while looking at me in serious way.

I swallowed hard.

"Sa tingin mo ba... may mag-aaway kung paiiralin lang nila ang pagmamahal sa isa't isa?"

"They need maturity, Zian."

"Maturity's part of that. We grow... we mature when there's love, nagiging muwang tayo sa mga bagay at nalalaman natin kung ano ang tama sa mali. Hindi ba't ang mga matured people ay nananahimik na lang kaysa tumalak-talak?"

"So, what's your point? Nananahimik sila dahil sa pag-ibig?" pabalang na ani ko.

"Hindi. Ayaw nilang makipag-away at lumala ang sitwasyon. Kaya nga may salitang mapagkumbaba. Ikaw na lang ang mag-adjust lalo na kung wala namang kabuluhan."

"You know what? Hindi kita maintindihan."

"Paano kasi sinali mo pa iyang maturity na word, umabot tuloy ako sa kung saan. So, let's get back to our topic."

"Zian, suliranin din ang traffic, pag-ibig din ba ang makadaraig, ha? You said love conquers everything. Everything," sabi ko at mariing binanggit ang 'everything'.

He chuckled. "Tangek 'to, pinahihirapan mo pa 'ko, e. Paano kung sabihin kong oo?"

"Explain."

"Sa tingin mo ba bakit may traffic?"

"Lack of quality infrastructure."

"And what do you think is the solution?"

"People should use small vehicles o huwag na gumamit ng sasakyan para walang traffic..."

He laughed. "That's my point. We can lessen or prevent traffic if there's unity. Magkakaisa iyong mga tao. Numinipis na ang ozone layer kaya lalong umiinit malapit pa naman tayo sa equator, at isa sa dahilan ang polusyon na nanggagaling naman sa mga sasakyan or factories."

"Masyado kang malalim, Zian. Traffic ang pinag-uusapan at umabot ka sa equator."

"Love ang pinag-uusapan natin kaya bakit mo idadamay ang traffic? You started it first," he shot back.

"Sum it up, Fernando."

"Traffic, dahil iyon sa mga sasakyan minsan naman dahil sa sikip ng daanan due to constructions of buildings or roadways." He scratched the back of his head and rolled his eyes at me. "P'wede bang love lang pag-usapan natin at huwag na ang traffic? Ang gulo, e."

"Right. Sabi mo kasi everything, malamang nilahat ko talaga."

"Hoy, Valderama, baka nakakalimutan mong essay ito at hindi debate, 'di ba?"

"Bakit, talo ka?"

"Hindi. Ang akin lang kung may pag-ibig sa bawat isa walang gulo ang magaganap, e kasi sinali mo iyong traffic hindi ko naman sinabing literal na everything talaga, think logically."

"So, parang kasalanan ko pa?"

He laughed. "Pikon."

"Ulitin ko, ha? Let us take cheating as an example instead. Why do you think people cheat to their partners?"

"Hindi sila kuntento? May bagay na wala roon sa tao kaya mas pinili nilang hanapin iyon sa iba?"

He smiled. "Because they're lack of love. Sa tingin mo, lolokohin ka ba ng tao kung mahal ka niya?"

I shook my head. "Pero walang manloloko kung walang magpapaloko, Zian."

He frowned. "Tingnan mo, iba na naman iyang topic mo. Kasalanan ba ng tao na masyado siyang nagtiwala sa isa na hindi niya naisip na maaaring lokohin pala siya? You shouldn't blame the one who got fooled, Persian. Wala silang kasalanan."

"No, kasalanan nila dahil masyado silang naging kampante kaya naloko."

"Hindi. Alam nilang pinagkakatiwalaan sila ng tao kaya bakit mas pinili pa rin nilang lokohin at sirain ang tiwala nito? Iisa lang ang ibig sabihin. Hindi nila ganoon kamahal iyong tao o sa kanila ang may mali kasi kung mahal mo talaga... ba't mo lolokohin? Bakit mo bibiguin? You should do something to make them feel complete, contented, and loved. That's victim blaming, Persian," mahaba ngunit mahinanong litanya niya.

"Fine, I gave up. We're not in a debate. Just get to the point parang ang lalim ng pinagdadaanan mo, e wala ka pa namang naging girlfriend, 'di ba?"

He frowned. "Naisip ko lang. Isipin mo na lang na walang hindi kaaya-ayang mangyayari kung pananaigin ang pag-ibig."

"How 'bout those victims of rape? Bakit sila narape? Dahil walang love?"

Lumapit siya sa 'kin nang kaunti para pitikin ang noo ko.

I groaned and raised my middle finger at him before rubbing my forehead. "Jerk."

He rolled his eyes in disgust. "Kababae mong tao, e..."

"What?" Pinandilatan ko siya ng mata.

He shook his head. "Pero sige sasagutin ko. Walang marerape kung may respeto at konsensya ang bawat tao. Isipin mo iyang mga manyak sa kung saang lugar, nambabastos sila dahil wala silang respeto."

"Hindi ba't bago tawaging manyak ang mga manyak ay may respeto muna sila? Wala pa silang ginagawa pero kung may mali na silang ginawa atsaka mo matatawag na masama."

"Sabi ko nga. Ito napakahilig mong manghalungkat umabot ka na naman sa ganito. Ang ibig ko lang namang sabihin ay kung nag-iisip sila nang tama at may mabuti silang loob hindi sila mambabastos. Dapat may respeto ang mga tao sa bawat isa. Edi walang rape."

"You said love not respect."

Nang napansin kong naiinis na siya ay humalakhak na ako. "Ikaw ang pikon," anas ko.

"Tanga mo naman, respect is part of love. May respeto ka sa kapwa at nagmamalasakit ka, edi mahal mo ang kapwa mo. Hindi man ganoon ang pananaw mo iyon talaga ang ibig sabihin no'n."

"Being respectful is showing love?"

"You know, love is everywhere kahit saan pa iyan nandiyan ang pag-ibig kaya huwag ka na tanong nang tanong. Kaya mo naman yatang magsagot nito, e mahalungkat ka nga sa mga pinagsasabi ko, e dapat ikaw na sumagot."

I shook my head. "Ayaw ko nga, wala namang nagmamahal sa akin," kunwaring nagtatampong biro ko.

Tumitig siya sa 'kin. "Ako."

"Ikaw?"

"Oo, hindi mo ba 'ko love?" tanong niya na may ngisi sa labi. I sighed. Akala ko na, e.

I rolled my eyes. "Hindi," tanggi ko at pinaglaruan ang kuko.

"Grabe, kahit as a friend?" He dramatically put his hand on his chest, clenching his shirt.

"Well, siguro. I like you, pero hindi kita love. Magkaiba iyon."

"Sige, ano ba ang pinagkaiba niyan sa 'yo?" hamon niya.

"Kung ipapaliwanag ko ayon sa pagkakaintindi ko. Malamang ang like, gusto, gusto parang ang term na iyan is for a short period of time lang, hindi malalim. Pero kung love... ewan, long lasting?" I shrugged.

"Love, you're willing to do everything for that person, nagiging balisa ka kapag malungkot siya, hindi ka mapakali sa kakaisip kung ano ang maaaring makapagpasaya sa kaniya, araw-araw nag-aalala ka, may pakialam ka sa kaniya, lagi mong iniisip iyong kinabukasan kasama siya o para sa kaniya, hindi ka nagsasawa, napapansin mo lahat sa pagkatao niya kasi naman iyong atensyon mo na sa kaniya lang." He's saying those words at me straight in the eyes.

"Sino iyan?"

"My family," he answered.

I pouted. "Hindi ako?"

He shook his head and took a peek on his wristwatch. "What the... gabi na!" he exclaimed, changing the topic again.

That was when I bursted into laugh. Gotcha.

He glared at me. "You did this on purpose."

"Huh?"

"Kung ano ano'ng pinagsasabi mo kanina at pinagtatatanong. You did that para makaligtaan ko ang oras."

I smiled cutely. "You got it, love!" I giggled.

His features softened, gone that glare in his eyes. He's now stifling a smile.

"Come on, don't be shy showing me your alluring smile," panunuya ko.

Hindi niya na napigilan at napangiti na lang talaga siya pero nainis kaagad ako dahil binato niya sa 'kin iyong unan na nakapatong sa kaniya. "Nilalandi mo pa ako, umuwi ka na."

"Can I sleep here?" I joked.

He immediately stood up, showing that he's in disagreement.

"Tapos mo na?" tunog tampong tanong ko bago dahan-dahang bumaba ng kama niya.

Niligpit niya ang gamit na na sa lamesa at tumango. "I was writing while you're being talkative."

"May I see?" I took the yellow paper and my eyes glittered. "You have a legible handwriting, akala ko ay panget ang sulat kamay mo." May indent ang essay na ginawa niya, ay may tatlong paragraph at iyon ang introduction, body, at conclusion sa essay. Love conquers everything. Pinanindigan niya talaga, bahala na.

"Grabe makapanget, ah? Basta maayos iyon na iyon."

"Thanks, crush talaga kita!" I tiptoed and was about to kiss him on his cheek, but he moved a bit making my lips touched his.

Our eyes both went wide when we felt our lips touched.

Oh my.

It happened...

My lips met his!

Hindi ko intensyon na halikan siya dahil alam kong ayaw niya talaga at ayaw ko siyang pilitin. Pero nagdikit!

Kaagad siyang lumayo at napatalikod.

That was so... rare feeling I have felt after kissing someone.

His... was so different from those lips I kissed with before.

"Tarantado... iyong first kiss na inalagaan ko ng labing siyam na taon..." he muttered, still in disbelief.

Pero parang hindi ko narinig ang sinabi niya dahil parang bigla akong nahulog sa pinakamataas na lugar, at bagsak na bagsak.

It was just a peck... but it could literally make my heart beat erratically. It was a soft peck.

"100 over 10," I muttered in nowhere.

"What?"

"That kiss... 100 ang rate ko over 10." I slowly showed him my smile when he faced me.

I swear kaya kong hindi makipag-make out kahit kanino kapalit ng isang patak ng halik!

He sighed. "You're my first kiss, brat... And I'm disappointed."

Something on what he said clenched my heart, pero kaagad nawala iyon nang narinig ko ang idinugtong niya.

"Cringe at its finest, but... gusto ko ang first kiss ko ay first kiss din ako. You're my first kiss, pero hindi  ako ang first kiss mo."

I blushed.

What the fvck, Fernando Zian? You're so childish.

"You're my first peck on lips!"

He rolled his eyes and looked away. "Nevermind, tara na!"

"Ba't boses galit ka?" I asked as I licked my lower lip.

"Hindi. Umuwi ka na," aniya.

"Good bye! Punta ulit ako bukas dito, ha! Bilihan mo ako no'ng apple pie."

"Huwag na, huwag ka na pumunta rito." Sinabi niya iyon nang hindi ako binabalingan, he's avoiding my gaze.

"Pero... may research kami!" palusot ko.

"Alam mo naman na ang gagawin mo, hindi mo na ako kailangan."

"Bakit ba ayaw mo na pumunta ako rito?"

His lips parted when he saw my sad face. "Fine, pumunta ka kung kailan mo gusto."

"Yes!" Bago pa ako makalapit sa kaniya ay itinaas niya ang kamay. "Don't come near me. You just stole my first kiss, hindi iyon makatarungan dahil wala kang permiso."

"For your information, Zian, I didn't intention to kiss you on your lips! It was supposed on your cheek, but because you moved... well, I was glad you moved."

"Daldal mo, gumagabi na."

"Ikaw? You will sleep here?"

"Nah, uuwi ako after mo umuwi. Magiging busy na ako next weeks kaya huwag kang madalas pumunta rito, masyado kang napaghahalataan."

"Na ano?"

"Para kang patay na patay sa 'kin."

I hit him on his chest before looking away because I felt my cheeks flushed. "Lakas ng fighting spirit, ah. Kapal."

He laughed. "Uy, namumula. Patingin nga ng mukha." He lifted my chin and caressed my cheeks. "Hindi naman ganoon kakapal iyong blush-on mo ngayon pero para kang kamatis sa sobrang pula."

That was when I harshly swayed his hand. "Jerk!"

"Good night, brat." He winked and pinched my nose.

I made a face and rolled my eyes. "Bye!"

"WHERE have you been?" Fiona asked when she saw me entering the house.

"Pake mo?"

"You rude bitch, patay ka talaga kay Mommy. Kanina ka pa namin hinihintay."

"The hell I care. Sinabi ko bang maghintay kayo?"

We're starting an argument again. "Just leave me alone, Fiona. Huwag mo 'kong pakialaman dahil hindi naman ako nangingialam sa 'yo," pagsuko ko dahil ayaw ko nang makipag-away.

"Devil!" Tinulak niya ako bago tumalikod.

I clenched my fist. Umayos ako ng tayo at naglakad nang mabilis para habulin siya atsaka ko hinila ang buhok niya. "Sira na ba talaga ang ulo mo?" I asked and pulled her hair more.

"Ouch! Mommy!"

I closed my eyes and breathe properly before letting go of her hair.

"What's this again, Audrey?!"

Yeah, I am the black sheep.

"Where have you been, hija? Kanina pa ang uwian niyo," si Daddy.

I sighed. "You should've asked my driver, Dad. And I don't have to explain what I did to this shit," I lazily answered and pointed at
Fiona.

"Mommy, she pulled my hair! Wala naman akong ginagawa!" Kaagad siyang lumapit kay Mommy at doon umarte.

I rolled my eyes. "Huwag ka na mag-audition dahil given naman na madidisqualify ka. Panget mo umarte."

"Audrey!" Mommy warned as she caressed Fiona's head.

I looked away. Nilagpasan ko na lang silang lahat para umakyat sa kuwarto.

"Audrey, you're still not eating your dinner. Come back here!"  I heard Daddy say.

I shook my head and just entered my room. After I showered I jumped onto my bed and turned the music on.

I planned to text Zian before I sleep.

Me:

i miss you

Geez. Parang ang clingy ko. This isn't so me. Kakauwi ko lang galing sa kaniya, pero parang ayaw ko siyang lubayan kahit saglit. Hindi ko na nahintay kung magrireply ba siya o hindi dahil nakatulog na ako.

"AUDREY, you didn't eat your dinner last night. At mukhang wala ka pa atang balak saluhan kami ng breakfast? Ngayon na lang ulit 'to."

"Okay, mom."

I lazily put my tote bag beside me and sat.

"Your driver said you went to your cousin," ani Daddy.

Nabitin sa ere ang pagsubo ko ng pagkain kaya ibinaba ko muna iyon at sinagot siya. "Yes, dad."

"But I asked Archie last night. Hindi ka naman daw pumunta roon..."

I lifted my gaze to meet Daddy's strict stare at me.

I gulped, I was about to speak when the devil intervened.

"What do you expect from Audrey, Daddy? She's a liar, she's maybe in a club again—"

"I'm not asking for your opinion, Fiona," Daddy cut off.

"Peter!" saway ni Mommy.

Here we go again. Can't we just eat in silence? Dapat siguro ay walang imikan kapag kakain kami para hindi magbangayan.

"Audrey, tell me the truth."

"I was really in Rizal, Daddy. Hindi siguro ako nakita ni Archie kasi may klase pa sila. You talked to my driver so he knew where I went. Hindi ko na tinatakasan si Kuya Henry, Daddy."

He sighed. "I am just worried, Audrey. Please, don't put yourself in trouble again..."

I drank my juice and nodded. "I will."

"Ingat ka, little sister. Wala naman sigurong umaaway sa iyo ngayon, 'di ba?" si Fiona nang nasa labas na ako at papunta na ng university.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "I'm warning you, Fiona. Don't you ever mess up with me..." I said as I turned my back at her.

Sumakay na ako ng sasakyan para pumasok na. Naabutan ko pa si Marga sa hagdanan ng building namin.

"Morning, Audrey!"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah."

"Ito naman ang aga-aga mukhang badtrip, ano balita?"

"Nah. Ganoon pa rin, black sheep in the family."

She chuckled. "Gorgeous black sheep kamo," aniya habang naglalakad kami patungo sa mga respective rooms namin.

"Kita tayo mamaya, ha. Sayang magkaiba tayo ng section."

I nodded and entered my classroom.

"Good morning, everyone. We do have a new professor in morning session," our professor announced.

"Bakit naman, sir? Aalis ka na?" one of my classmate asked.

"No, naassign na ako sa faculty kaya kailangang palitan ako sa pang-umaga."

I let out a sigh and just played with my nails. Magpalit man ng professor o hindi, minsan pa rin naman ako nakikinig.

"Let's all greet your new professor, Mr. Vallejos."

They all stood up, sumunod na rin ako pero hindi bumati at umirap lang nang pumasok ang sinabing professor. He's in late 40s.

He kinda resembles someone...

"Good morning, class. I am Mr. Ryan Vallejos and I will be your prof every morning." He smiled and roamed his eyes inside the classroom until it landed on me.

"Let me ask some random questions first just today, is it okay with all of you?"

They nodded.

"Can you stand up, Miss..." He pointed at me.

I arched a brow and stood up lazily.

"Valderama," I continued.

He frozed on his ground after hearing what I said. He looked at me in total shock and if I wasn't mistaken...

There's a hint of longing in his eyes.