Chapter 18: Miss

"You just can't use violence whenever you want, Audrey!" Zian angrily shouted at me.

We're already inside his car, arguing. After he asked that bitch, he fvcking helped her and ignored me. Dahil sa galit ko ay umalis ako, pero naabutan niya rin kaagad ako at nagpahatid na ako sa kaniya.

Mabilis ang paghinga ko habang sinisigawan siya. "Kasalanan ko pa?! Can't you see it, Zian?! Those bitches were stalking us! At ikaw pa ang may ganang tulungan siya? That was so creepy and that girl knows me!"

"Hindi ganoon kalaki ang problema para gawin mo 'yon. Baka mapaano siya at malintikan ka! Will you just control your emotions?!" he shouted back, pabalik-balik ang tingin sa akin at sa daan.

"You didn't understand me, Zian! How can you help that bitch, huh? At mukhang kasalanan ko pa lahat? Fvck you! I hate you! I hate you so much!"

Marahas niyang inihinto ang sasakyan at galit akong binalingan. "Now, I understand why your father punished you like that. Sa totoo lang, you deserve more than of it. Paano kung makapatay ka dahil sa galit mo at dahil lang sa maliit na bagay?" He sighed and closed his eyes before looking at me again. "You have an anger management issue."

I slapped him hard after he said those words. "How dare you! Why couldn't you just see it?! Fine, I won't force you to believe me, Zian! Right, nobody's listening to me." I chuckled bitterly when I remember Daddy scolding me for punching Fiona. "Fvck you, Zian," I cursed asI tried to open the car's door, but it's locked!

"Open this fvcking door!" I yelled at him.

There has no emotion written on his face. He just stared at me blankly with his jaw clenched tightly. His face was a bit red because of the slap I gave.

"I said open it!" I hit him on his chest.

He held my hand to make me stop, he then sighed heavily, calming himself. "I'm sorry..."

I got stunned when he spoke, but it made me more furious! Why is he saying sorry? Naaawa ba siya sa 'kin? O talagang natanto niyang mali ang kampihan ang babaeng iyon?

"I don't care, Zian! Just open this fvcking door! I hate you!"

"Let's talk about it, Audrey. Okay, I'm sorry. Calm down." He's now calm like he just felt a fresh air. Ganoon kadali nawala ang galit niya sa 'kin, pero ako ay talagang nag-aalab pa sa galit.

"No! I hate you! I won't listen to you again! Just open this door!"

"Audrey —"

I slapped him again. "I said no! Alin ba ang hindi mo maintindihan?!"

He violently sighed and licked his lowerlip. "Okay... Fine. I'll just send you home now, okay?"

I shook my head. "I want you to fvcking open this door!"

"Darn it, Persian Audrey! Huwag ka na ngang matigas ang ulo! Ihahatid lang kita, ayos na!"

I death glared at him. "Zian... Open this door or I'll kill you?" I said in a serious tone.

Malakas niyang hinampas ang manibela atsaka isinandal ang ulo. He breathe properly and I saw how he clenched his fist making his veins be visibled.

I gulped, natahimik.

"Listen. Walang maaayos dito kung pareho tayong nagsisigawan at galit. I mean what I said, so if it made you hurt, you deserve it. Ayaw kong pairalin mo ang ganoon, Audrey. Yeah, I know I'm not in the right place to preach, but I'm saying this just for your own good. Hate me, hurt me, and curse me all you want, pero hindi tamang hayaan lang kitang ganoon. It's not good hurting people physically except if it's a self-defense. Those people might get back on you, and we're not sure what plan they have on their pants. I'm just concern, and at the same time... telling you what is good. If this offends you, sure. It's good, and for you to grow up and be mature enough to just let it slide. You can teach them lessons in a good way with no... violence. I'll try to understand what you're feeling, Persian Audrey."

It left me speechless. No, I don't wanna listen to him anymore. I'm already calm and just stayed silent, we just stayed silent.

I swallowed hard. "I want to go home."

He sighed and just didn't say anything as he roared the engine into life.

When we arrived there, I awkwardly unbuckled the seatbelt and was about to open the car's door when he spoke again.

"Audrey..." he paused. "I'm sorry, and take care..."

I just nodded at him.

And I never thought... that it would also be our last conversation.

"Audrey, uuwi ka na ulit sa 'tin," Dad announced when he saw me entering the house. He hugged me.

"What, Dad?" 

"The class will start next week, may hahabulin ka pang exams. Let's just wait for your Tito and Tita to say a proper good bye. Where did you go, by the way? You look beautiful, sweetie."

My lips quivered. "I missed you, Dad." I hugged him tightly.

"I missed you too, Audrey."

Before that day ends, we waited for them to say good bye, my things were already packed up. I also ate my dinner with Daddy somewhere in Makati before we really got home. Daddy apologized many times for not coming on my birthday too.

"How have you been, hija?" Mommy hugged me.

I didn't respond and just let her hug me. I love my parents, pero habang tumatagal inaayawan ko na si Mommy. It's just too much. She doesn't care.

"Let's eat dinner outside tonight, okay? Let's celebrate your birthday." She gave me a warm smile that I had to crease my forehead out of confusion. Hindi ko lang maintindihan bigla, pero hindi na rin ako nagreklamo hanggang sa natapos ang gabing iyon. It turned out well. Hindi naman umepal si Fiona.

"This will be your last year in high school at susunod ay college na kayo. So, don't pressure yourselves and just enjoy your school life, but it doesn't mean hindi na rin kayo mag-aaral nang maayos. Let's take this first day easy. Kilalanin niyo ang isa't-isa at bukas natin simulan ang pag-aaral."

After our first day in 12th grade level, dumiretso na ako sa dating tagpuan namin nina Marga. Nothing changed kumbaga maliban nalang siguro na wala na sa university na 'to si Fiona at Kurt since they're now in college.

One week went smoothly without a communication with Zian. As in, wala. I'm still mad at him, and my pride doesn't let me to apologize too.

"Kumusta na kayo no'ng lalaki mo, Audrey? Napakadaya mo, you didn't even introduce us to him!" Marga gritted her teeth.

I rolled my eyes. "Let's not talk about him."

"Bakit naman? You seemed possessive to him, Audrey. What happened?" Si Rhiane naman.

I sighed and sipped on my apple juice. "Nothing."

"But seriously, girl! You made a move to him!"

I glared at them. "Will you two stop?"

They pouted. "Hindi mo naman kami pinagdadamutan ng information dati, ah? What did that hot guy do to you?"

"You already have your boy, Marga, don't fantasize over him in front of me."

She laughed. "So possessive! In love ka na ba?"

"Siguro dapat bigyan natin ng award iyong lalaki for making Audrey this possessive, not so you! Have you kissed him na ba?" Rhiane giggled.

I snorted. "No," I answered. In two months, I've never kissed him, even just a peck on lips. Damn that jerk!

"He likes tormenting me, no, he's tantalizing me!" Bigla nalang akong nainis noong naalala ko kung paano niya ako pinahihirapan, he's teasing me tapos hindi naman pala papanagutan?!

"Well, he's good for you. A dog like you should be tantalized by your boss for a bone para sa susunod matuto ka nang sumunod sa gusto ng amo mo."

"What the fvck, Margaret? A dog, really?" I raised my middle finger at her. How dare she compared me to a dog.

She gave me an apologetic smile. “Love you, hehe.”

I raised my middle finger again.

"OH, haven't seen you for ages, Valderama, hindi ka ba binabagabag ng konsensya?"

I turned over when someone spoke when I was in a hallway in the afternoon.

"Excuse me?"

"Right. You don't know me, but I'm Jes' friend. You remember?"

I narrowed my eyes. "Jes? Oh, right! That scumbag. Why?"

She clenched her fist and glared at me, while I calmly crossed my arms.

"You have to pay for what you did to him, you devil. Didn't you know he was in coma because of what you did?!"

"I didn't know it beforehand, but since you already told me, I got to know. He's stupid, it's not my fault."

I received a slap that I didn't even see it coming.

"Napakademonyo mo! Humanda ka sa 'kin!" she threatened and even pushed my shoulder when she passed by me.

Just what the hell? I tried to make myself calm. It's just a slap, let it slide, Audrey. No, because my hands were trembling because of rage!

Biglang sumagi sa isip ko iyong mga bilin ni Zian, but I shook my head to forget about it. I didn't enter my last subject just to find the bitch who slapped me.

"Hey, you bitch," I called when I recognized her face, she's now with a group of people.

"Oh, sakto. Isunod natin 'tong demonyong 'to." She pointed at me.

My forehead creased when I saw a girl sitting on a bench and looked helpless. She's drenched.

"What are you guys doing?" I asked cluelessly.

"Gusto mo malaman? Well, ganito iyan. Lahat ng bumabangga sa kaibigan namin pinaparusahan at dahil isa ka roon, we'll make your life in hell."

I scoffed. "Oh, just so you know, I'm already living in hell, so no need. What are you anyway? A fvcking gangster?"

They looked at me offended. They were about to come near me when I glared at them. "Subukan niyong lumapit," I warned.

"Manghingi ka ng tawad, Audrey. Bakit parang kami pa ang lumalapit sa 'yo para sabihin ka na manghingi ng tawad? Ganiyan ka ba talaga ka walang puso?"

I gritted my teeth as I saw how the girls pulled the hair of the other girl. I should have care less, but she looked at me like asking for a help. I sighed. Okay, I'll help her just once, pakikinggan ko iyong bilin ni Zian na 'I should get things straight', hindi naman sa sinusunod ko siya, but at some point kailangan ko siguro babaan ang pride ko.

I stayed there for long kaya hindi masama kung may makukuha akong aral sa sermon lagi ni Zian sa 'kin. That jerk, hindi man lang nagtext kahit isa!

"Kusang ibinibigay ang apology at hindi hinihingi. So, just wait until the world ends, I'll apologize in our next lives."

"Ano ba'ng ginagawa niyo?"

I glanced at the guy, and I was kinda shocked when I saw it's the guy, Jes. Guilt filled my entire system.

What the hell, Audrey? Kailan ka pa naguilty?

"Oh, Jes. Nandito na si Valderama."

He's just looking at me, no emotion etched on his face. I just ignored him and was about to turn my back when I remembered the girl.

"Let that girl go," utos ko.

They laughed. "Are you crazy?"

"Do I look like?" I don't know what's the matter with them, but I kinda have to help the poor girl.

"Well, sige. Let's make a deal. Kneel down and we won't bully her."

What the fvck? "Seriously?" No way. I won't do that. Labag nga sa loob ko ang manghingi ng tawad ang paluhurin pa kaya?

"There's no way in hell I would do that."

"Sige, sabi mo, e." Then the other girl slapped her across the face.

I don't like seeing someone being treated like this. I admit that I'm a violent when I get mad, but this fist of mine just for the people who deserves it, not like this. She really looked helpless.

"What did she do?" Hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi nalang ako umalis at hayaan sila sa gusto nila. I don't even know her!

"She didn't follow our orders."

I scoffed. "Is she your maid to run fvcking errands of a stupid like you? Let her go or I'll report all of you."

Jes smirked. "Report, then. Tingnan lang natin kung hindi masira ang imahe mo kapag nalaman nilang muntik mo na akong patayin. Your father covered it up for you, but I can sing, you know."

"Kumanta ka, wala akong pake. It's not as if I'm gonna die. Tanga ka kaya ka nahulog."

Para bang ginalit ko siya lalo dahil nandilim ang mukha niya sa 'kin. He slowly walked toward me. "You bitch. I really wanted to kill you, alam mo 'yon?"

I smirked evilly. "Me too, you asshole."

He then chocked me that I couldn't even breathe properly. Darn it. Hindi ako masyadong makagalaw dahil pilit kong inaalis ang kamay niya na nasa leeg ko.

Okay, Audrey, just kick him on his balls. So did I hardly. Halos maghabol ako ng hininga nang bitawan niya ako, but it's worth it since he seemed struggling to breath too. Para bang nakapusan at halos mamatay siya dahil sa pagsipa ko sa gitna niya.

What a dickhead.

"Jes!" They tried to help him, so I had the time to help the poor girl but before I could even step, someone grabbed my hair.

"You bitch!"

I bit my lowerlip to stop myself complain on how it hurt me. Gosh!

"Let go!" I yelled, but I know she wouldn't and continued to grab my hair!

"Oh my..." I murmured as I saw the hairclip I was wearing fell on the grass.

Lalo akong nagalit nang natapakan niya iyon. Destroy all my things except for that hairclip! Zian bought me that. At iyon nalang ang natitirang remembrance ko sa kaniya!

Sa sobrang galit ko ay malakas ko siyang siniko sa likuran ko at sinipa sa tiyan atsaka ko dinampot ang hairclip. Good thing, it was still good!

"Audrey! What's happening here?!"

I glanced at the other direction when I saw Marga, Rhiane, and the poor girl, they were trying to catch a breath.

Bumaling pa ako sa mga kaaway nang nakitang nag-aayos na sila kahit may iniindang sakit. They all glared at me and attempted to hurt me but they chose to run away when they saw school officer's approaching us.

I ran my fingers through my hair and put my hairclip back. I'm sweating bullets for fvck's sake! That devils.

"You still managed to put that clip on, kailan ka pa natutong maglagay ng kolorete sa buhok, Audrey?" usisa ni Rhiane.

I rolled my eyes and averted my attention at the officers. They looked at me fuming mad.

"What?" I asked, annoyed.

"Was there a commotion happening here?" asked by the President.

I rolled my eyes. "May nakikita ka ba?"

"Namumuro ka na, Valderama. Bastos ka. Gusto mo bang hindi maka-graduate ngayong taon?"

Sasagot na sana ako nang hawakan ako sa braso ni Marga. "Huwag ka na sumagot, please."

I sighed.

"Sorry, officers. Wala pong nangyayari, pasensya na po," si Rhiane sabay yuko.

Bayolente akong napabuntong hininga. They were seriously apologizing, really?

Umalis na ang mga officers nang walang sinasabi. I shook my head. They were so stupid and useless.

"Why are you here?"

"This girl called us, okay! Sabi niya nakikipag-away ka raw!"

I raised my brow. "She did that? How did you know them?" I asked.

"Hmm, sikat kayo... kaya kilala ko kayo at tinawag ko sila para... matulungan ka..." She lowered her head.

I tsked. "Don't let them do that to you again. Understood?"

Naguguluhan siya nang nag-angat ng tingin sa 'kin. "P-pero... natatakot ako," she stuttered.

I sighed. "Wala kang dapat ikatakot. Kung kailangan mo silang patayin, patayin mo," I joked but I knew she took it seriously when she gasped.

"Huwag mo naman takutin, Audrey, ano nga ba pangalan mo?" Rhiane asked her.

"Norjana," she answered.

We went to cafeteria to buy snack, wala na masyadong tao dahil uwian na rin.

"Right, sasama ba kayo? Papunta na si Dante rito, gagala kami."

I shook my head. "No."

"Hindi rin ata ako makakasama, Marga, may dinner kami mamaya with my parents' colleagues."

"Oh, sige kami na lang. Kailan pa kayo tumanggi sa aya ko?"

"Before," I answered.

"Ngayon," Rhiane said.

Kasama namin iyong si Norjana at bahagya siyang natawa sa 'min, nang bumaling ako sa kaniya ay kaagad siyang napayuko.

"Are you scared?" tanong ko.

"Ah, oo..."

"'Sus, 'wag ka matakot hindi nangangain ng babae si Audrey, lalaki lang iyong hot gano'n..."

I glared at Marga's direction. "Stupid."

"Aalis na pala ako, may ginawa lang saglit si Dante kaya wala siya rito." She stood up and took her bag.

"Is he your boyfriend?" I asked.

We all looked at her, waiting for an answer.

She shrugged. "Hindi ko alam. We're more than friends, but less than lovers."

"So, may gusto kayo sa isa't-isa? Perhaps, mutual understanding?" si Rhiane.

She nodded. "Ganoon siguro."

I scoffed. "You're cheap, umalis ka na nga."

She bid her good bye before turning her back at us.

I then looked at Rhiane. "Ikaw? Are you with someone?"

She pouted. "Wala, ah! Maghahanap pa lang ako. Meron kang irereto?"

"A-ako meron," biglang singit ni Norjana sa gilid.

She's weird.

"Weh? Totoo? Sino? May kuya ka?" sunod-sunod na tanong ni Rhiane.

I sighed, shaking my head. "Umuwi ka na, Rhiane."

"Wait lang nagtatanong pa 'ko," she said while writing something what Norjana said on her notebook.

"Ikaw ba, 'di ka sasabay?" she asked, glancing at me.

"No, mamaya pa ako."

"Siguraduhin mo lang, Audrey. Sige, Norjana, gusto mo sabay na tayo umuwi?"

Norjana nodded and glanced at me when she stood up. "Salamat, Audrey."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever, just go."

While drumming my fingers against the table, I took my phone out and stared at it for long.

My mind was occupied by Zian. I wanted to see him and just apologize! Parang ako tuloy iyong nahihirapan.

Kung ano-ano ang pinagtatype ko sa cellphone para imessage sa kaniya kaso wala akong maisip kaya tumitig nalang ako sa cellphone.

It beeped!

My eyes widened when I read a message.

From him.

Damn you, Zian. For the second time, I felt butterflies again from you.

Zian:

miss you, brat