Vyra

Our first training session was as disastrous as anyone could have expected. I learned quickly to accept the looks of disapproval and blatant distrust the man sent my way every time I failed.

Once the stubborn Alpha realized he couldn't snap his fingers and make me shift, he kept me out in the snowy clearing until the sun fell below the earth and welcomed the moon.

"Do we need to go over the basics again?" The Alpha asked, still menacing despite the dwindling light.

I was exhausted, and frightened. I didn't want to shift. It was physically and mentally the most painful thing I ever endured. My human blood probably made me less impervious to breaking bones and shedding skin.

My mouth remained shut. I shivered within the thin leather clothing I was provided. The room from which I wanted to escape the night before sounded like heaven.

The Alpha narrowed his eyes, his tan cheekbones turning red from the cold wind. "The basics. Recite them to me, now."

A groan erupted in my throat. I already recited them ten times just in the last five hours.

"Find a place in your mind where it is quiet, dark. That is where our soul lies, where our other half rests." I bit my lip, somehow blanking on the other steps. As the light faded, my breath turned into smoke. I was freezing. I tugged on my hair out of a nervous habit. "Um, then once you reach the darkness you dive into it. Imagine claws at your fingertips. Your teeth turn to fangs. Shed your skin slowly, until there is nothing left to hide in-"

He cut me off, his voice abrasive against my soft tone. "Turn around."

A pit of nerves squirmed in my stomach. If he planned on scaring me into my other form, he was doing a good job.

"Hmm?" I ask, wondering if I misheard him. I remained facing him.

Uncrossing his arms, his voice made the hairs on the back of my neck stand with its low timber.

"Turn around Vyra."

Okay. I just hoped whatever he had planned for me wouldn't be too painful. Mistress smacked the back of our legs with a cold branch if we misbehaved. It only happened three times, but it was enough to make me have nightmares about twigs for years after. My heart twinged at the memory.

I grew more concerned when the man went silent. Apprehension filled me as I gripped my hands tightly together.

Then, I felt him. Quiet, the skilled predator had closed in on his prey.

He now stood behind me, emanating heat along my shivering body. Too close. My skin ignited, sparks fading in and branching like lightning in a summer storm.

I nearly jumped out of my burning skin when warm, calloused palms ran along the back of my neck and gathered all of my hair into their grip.

Shocked would be an understatement, and outrage was following closely behind. I was frozen still, contemplating which was stranger.

The fact that the Alpha was touching me, willingly. Or that he was extremely gentle while doing so.

"What are you doing?" My words were deceptively steady. An ensemble of hummingbirds knocked at the cage of my chest. I could feel nothing but the soft scrape of his fingers, collecting tendrils of hair that he missed previously.

Is his punishment for me to make my heart stop working? Would he rip my hair out because I couldn't shift?

He gathered all of my hair into one strong hand, loose enough to not cause pain.

"Your hair is too long to train properly with it down. It'll get snagged and rip out from your skull." Seren offered in an even tone, close enough for his breath to tickle the curls that were too short to fit into the makeshift ponytail. I heard the muffled sound of ripping leather. "It's also a dead giveaway you don't know what the fuck you're doing."

His grip kept my head in place, as his other hand tied what I presumed to be a leather cord around my hair.

My heart wasn't functioning. I needed to get away from him. "You shouldn't lower yourself with tasks like this. I could have done it."

No one has ever done anything for me. Ever.

I've always fixed my hair, stitched my own clothing, and made my own food. The Alpha helping anyone, especially me, with something so menial?

He must have thought I was too incompetent to even tie my hair back.

He let out an exasperated sigh, "Don't be so dramatic. I'm just showing you what the other female Lycan do."

I felt a single tug on the end of my strands before he pulled away from me entirely. Whirling around, I caught Seren's faint smile.

Grabbing my hair, I felt around his handiwork, still working through the shock of him helping me without the air of contempt he usually had in my presence.

"Thank you."

The man looked down, shifting his smile only falling slightly. He appeared uncomfortable by my show of gratitude.
"We are running out of time for today." He gestured at a sliver of light left in the sky, which illuminated him in ochre.

I couldn't find it in myself to look away.

While I never hated him before, I never allowed myself to linger.

Out of fear, out of obedience. Out of loyalty to my dead family. Their blood branded across my eyes every time I found myself in the path of his tragically beautiful face.

There was a thoughtful veil over his eyes when he believed no one to be looking. When he smiled, he was much less intimidating. No one would fear a man whose cheeks dimpled when he smiled.

The longer I tried to make sense of him, the more I felt hope. There might be a chance for us to work amicably through these circumstances, even though they were less than ideal.

It was only then I realized I was staring for too long. The Alpha lifted his head, silver battling onyx when our eyes clashed. My face flushed red at being caught.

He lifted his low, full brow and lips flattening in a look of disapproval. He looked me up and down, before attempting to scent the air. He cleared his throat before speaking slowly, "During these sessions, I will need to touch you. As our time together increases, so will the urge to complete the bond. You may start to feel things."

Well so much for him not getting the wrong idea.

My face was aflame. "What things?"

Crossing his arms over his chest, he prodded me. "Urges. Desires. Do you know anything of the sort?"

The condescension and challenge in his voice is what killed any hopes for him to be a companion rather than an adversary. He could only pretend to tolerate me for mere minutes at a time.

As he waited impatiently for my answer, I realized the man was mocking me in his ignorance. Outcasts were not blessed with mates, nor be a part of chosen unions.

It didn't mean we'd remain virgins forever.

Petir and I did, for a period of time, choose to get together and after a couple months decided that we were better off as friends. If I had known before that Sonya liked him, I would have never done it. Still, I wasn't inexperienced.

"Concerning you? No. I haven't felt anything." I kept my voice as saccharine as possible, letting him know I wasn't a stranger to the feeling.

I wasn't lying entirely. Other than the strange yearning sensation to touch him when he was close, I was fine. He was attractive, undoubtedly, but I responded as any other person attracted to males would. It was nothing to lose sleep over.

Seren's brows lifted subtly before he smiled. It didn't reach his eyes. "Good," he answered, tight-lipped.

"Good." I nodded in agreement.

He continued to peruse me with his gaze as I wrung my hands together behind my back. I wondered if he would be curious enough to ask who I had been with, to which I would have to lie. I would never put a target on Petir's back. Uncomfortable silence filled the space between us for seconds too long. He broke first.

"Well, it looks like this will be easy for us then. Some mates don't feel the effects of the bond as intensely as others. We are lucky in our case, as there shouldn't be any unfortunate feelings between us."

It stung to hear I was right about his lack of feeling towards me. I knew I was nothing special, but I didn't consider myself entirely undesirable. But, as a person with common sense, it was the best outcome.

In a year, I would be killed and the blood would stain his victorious hands.

"Right." I swallowed my pride. It was not like I had much to begin with.

"Just in case you do feel any stirrings, tell me. We can take breaks and take time to ground ourselves. I wouldn't want it getting in the way of your training," the Alpha warned me.

I snorted in disbelief. His lack of tact made me forget some of my nerves and wits, and I placed my hands on my hips. He wasn't concerned by my reaction.

To think this guy had humility? His ego was larger than him. Sure, he was the Alpha. Yes, he looked like he was carved from stone. Of course any other Lycan would kill for the chance to be with him. I am sure he's received a great deal of attention from the 'stirrings' that he has caused in the other wolves.

Mena, one of the wolves in his personal pack, had been a likely contender to be his partner if he had not been mated to me. I was thrilled if being kept away from the other pack members meant never running into her again.

"What about you?" I ventured, taking the focus off of myself. If I were less passive, I would admit I was perhaps slightly curious about whether the male felt what he described. "I mean the bond could affect you too. Not that I am assuming you would be tempted otherwise."

The impenetrable man studied me, his expression dubious despite his sweeping glance.

For once he took my question seriously. He ran his fingers over his full bottom lip absentmindedly as he contemplated a retort that would likely shame me.

"Too sweet," Seren rumbled, settling on an answer. His eyes were a rolling storm cloud when he angled his face closer to mine, challenging me. "I prefer my woman to bite back."

For the first time in my life, I felt ashamed for being a peaceful and understanding person. No one ever paid attention enough to notice anything about my personality other than my friends.

Sweet sounded plain and boring coming from his lips. I didn't like it at all.

He had no idea how many times sweet saved my life. I had no other choice. How could he know? When he looked down on me his entire life, knowing he rightfully earned what I had lost.

It shouldn't matter. I don't want to be his kind of woman. It doesn't matter. And it's wrong. All wrong.

Seren relished in the silence, a genuine and rare smile taking over his face. I avoided it like the plague.

His deep voice lowered impossibly, "You're dismissed Vyra. Meet me here, tomorrow at the same time."

Despite living a door away from each other, it was always Titus who escorted me back to my rooms. Before I could even blink, he had appeared at the edge of the training clearing, looking as bored as ever as the Alpha sauntered away.

My body relaxed as soon as we made it into the warmth of the tunnels.

"Now that you are living here, you can explore wherever you'd like within the borders of the fortress," the guard offered, making conversation.

I must have looked pitifully horrible for him to even attempt niceties. Failing at shifting took more out of me than I anticipated. Being told I was unlikeable by the mate that was supposed to desire me above all else was just another blow.

"How kind of you." I answered back dryly, and not nearly as nicely as I should have. Damn it. Being alone with the Alpha made me act out of sorts. My hand slapped over my mouth when Titus turned around, "I am so sorry. I didn't mean to speak to you that way. It won't happen again."

Titus laughed, the sound carrying in the tunnels. His smile was contagious. I almost felt my lips curving despite the fact I would likely be reprimanded.

"I am glad to see they haven't sapped all the spirit of the Outcasts." He shook his head, "This is the first time I have seen an ounce of personality from you."

Rude. My smile dropped. "Being quiet isn't a lack of personality. Did you forget I was not allowed to speak to anyone unless spoken to less than a month ago?" I crossed my arms. "What I am saying to you now would have been grounds for me to be executed in front of the entire pack."

The guard ushered me into the entrance of the fortress. He responded while leading me up the steps and to my bedroom.

"You are the Alpha's mate. You can do whatever you want. The way I see it, you should live your life as you were never allowed to before. It won't matter in a year, will it?"

I nearly stumble. What would I do if there were no limits?

The answer? Nothing. "That isn't who I am."

Titus rolled his eyes, "Is that who you are? Or who you were forced to be. I think you have absolutely no idea what you are made of unless you've lived without constraints." His voice lowered, "If a man is only good because he does not have the freedom to be bad, is he actually good? Give anyone power, and you will see just how horrible they will become."

Luckily, we made it to my room. I no longer wanted to have this discussion.

Balling my fists, I prepared myself to counter the arrogant guard. "Like I said, I know who I am. I want to be able to recognize myself in the mirror before I am sent to the other side. I will not become the hybrid who you all believe deserves it."

I hated the way my voice shook when I said it. It felt weak and stupid to stand up for myself when no one took the time to listen.

But as adrenaline raced through me, I realized it felt good to finally let it off my chest. I hoped regret burned within every single member of the pack when the Alpha won. I hoped they realized their hatred and indifference for me was all for nothing.

It was a terrible, entitled, and vengeful thought. But it was mine.

Titus tapped on the leather plate on his chest, his expression dubious. He made no move to chastise me for my tone. "Time will tell, Fracti."

I missed not hearing that name for being half-blooded. I turned swiftly away from the man, placing my palm on the door so it would open. Before I could shut it in the guard's face, he stopped me.

"What?" I asked rudely. I felt nervous about doing so, but I decided to take his advice. I wouldn't be penalized, and the man just so happened to deserve it.

"Seren wanted me to let you know that along with training and the trials, you have other obligations."

Great. "What obligations?"

Titus smiled broadly, a mischievous glint in his usually bored expression. "I cannot blame you for not knowing, but there are annual ceremonies for those that are mated. Events, fetes, parties, whatever you want to call them. It is tradition for you to appear together, by the Alpha's side. As his mate."

"Excuse me?"

Contrary to his belief, I knew what he was talking about. There were usually several gatherings where people would join together to celebrate a mating. But like the Alpha mentioned earlier, not every mate was happy with one another. True mates were rare, and no one was forced to participate at these events.

I was under the false assumption we would not be participating.

Titus shut the door in my face. His voice was muffled as he yelled to me, "The first fete is in a week!" He raced down the hall before I could open the door back up and ask anymore questions.

Groaning, I slid to the floor. I could barely stand to be alone with him. But to be a spectacle in front of Lycan who saw me as dirt beneath their feet? I would appear so plain standing next to the Alpha. I had no material to weave, no thread to sew. No jewelry or powders for my face. I was being set up to be ridiculed and disrespected when it was not necessary.

With my head in my hands, I thought of how dreadful this celebration of our union was going to be. Fated mates who wanted nothing to do with each other? I couldn't help but laugh.

Yet, I was stuck.

Till death do us part.