i don't want to be where i'm at.

i don't want to be suffocating

in my own emotions.

i just want to be in my own world,

without troubles,

without hurt,

where my heart won't break

where it won't crack;

because now i'm here drowning,

wishing that this glass,

would crack.

wishing that all these toxic feelings

would float away.

or wishing, that i myself could swim away.

but i'm not strong enough;

and i never was.

in my mind, what plays are the voices,

that tell me I'm not enough

the voices that make me cough

the voices, that have brought me to a place,

in which I wish was a dream.

but even if it wasn't real,

it wouldn't be nice.

it would be a nightmare,

for sure it didn't make me alright.

i am worthless,

i am ugly

i am stupid,

i am weak.

"Just drown."

my voice says.

it plays again and again,

in my head.