A/N: Normally these are at the end of the chapter. However, this one is at the beginning for once. I just wanted to say thank you for reading this story so far. Sorry I hadn't updated in a week or however long it's been. But here's a lovely update and hopefully you love it. ❤️

I have been home for a few days now. Slowly the house has became chaotic like always. It didn't take it that long at all. Now, that did surprise me to no ends. Lucas and Alex have been staying in their l rooms that dad had made for them forever ago. It's on the wing of the house that Uncle Galileo and our aunt stay at when they visit. Uncle Luciano had a wing here as well. But, it doesn't get used unless Lucas and Alex go over there. However, since their father's death, they've been avoiding anything that has to do with their father. His death has caused scars and trauma to the already fragile beings. They're slowly piecing themselves back together. I mean slowly, I wouldn't rush them because everyone heals differently. Everyone takes different approaches to heal. Even the timing is different. I mean they just gotten their father back and with in months they lost their father, I'd be heartbroken too!

My brothers have been annoyingly up my ass every turn I take. Matt making sure I follow doctors orders, Ren being the eldest brother, meaning his the most worried for me. Val and Niko aren't as bad as some, I can feel their eyes on me from afar but they aren't in my personal space. Leo and Vin are constantly poking their noodles in my door, even when I'm sleep. Alonzo, Max, and Gi are the most annoying fuckers. They're always making me laugh, causing my sore as hell body to hurt even more from laughing. For instance, Alonzo and Gi ran around singing "I got a pickle. I got a pickle." While holding a freaking pickle in their hands. The craziest part, Max running behind them singing in a freaking pickle suit "I got a pickle!" at the top of his lungs.

Like why?

When Gi stopped running around and went to take a bite of his pickle, pickle boy Max runs right into Gi. Max's pickle lands in Alonzo's hair while Gi practically deep throated his damned pickle.

Seriously, I have three brothers up for adoption. No adoption fees. Free to a great home..... Or any home.

Juls, he's been Juls. He isn't up my ass per se, but he's there with his eyes close on my frame; watching like Val and Niko from afar. He was on the other side of the dining room, I stumbled over the rug— Juls was Flash. Literally, he was in front of me before my body could send me flying into Hell.

Gemma, sweet Gems. She's been her caring self. She isn't obnoxious or anything. She still continues to crawl in my bed at night. She still walks with me everywhere. She's near me without crowding me.

"So, if you could be any Mytholgy God ever, who would you be?" She asks while walking her dogs.

"Hmmm. Tantalus." I answer as I watch my dog take off down the grassy hill.

"Why Tantalus?"She questions as she lets hers off their leashes.

"Because he symbolizes that humanity isn't wiser than the gods. Our punishments would be far worse than we could imagine. It reminds me to never tell any secrets and to never kill my child." I laugh out. She doesn't need to know the real reason— I feel like I'm the real life Tantalus. I'm cursed and there's that. Her silence makes me uncomfortable so I speak again. "Who would you pick."

"Hecate or Nyx." She answers while watching her dogs prance around.

"Why?" I question her like she done me.

"Hecate is associated with the light, the moon, the night, graves, and protection. She stood in crossroads and doorways to keep evil spirits away. She ruled over the sky, earth, and the underworld. To me that's badass. Nyx, because she's a less-known goddess. She's strong in her own way. She the goddess of the night. I mean I would want to be a goddess in a chariot flying in the sky by horses. That also sounds badass." She laughs towards the end of her explanation.

"You've always love the night sky, so I could see either one of those being something you would pick."
I answer her honestly.

"Batman or Superman?" She asks.

"What is this, twenty-one questions?" I ask.

"Just answer it." She whines out.

"Batman all the way." I reply.

"Same." She agrees with me.

"Cheesecake or red velvet cheesecake?" I ask, knowing she's going to complain.

"No! No! No! Lucian you can't ask that question!" She whines loudly.

"Why?" I question her, knowing her answer."

"Because they're both cheesecake. Both are freaking delicious. So I can't answer that." She says with a high pitched whine. This causes me to laugh.

"Fine. Zayn, Harry, Niall, Liam, or Louis?" I ask my next question.

"What the hell? Is this a one direction question?" She questions back.

"Pick your favorite." I respond with a smirk. I already know her answer. It'll always be Louis.

"Louis. And before you ask why, it's because his voice is so unique. I'm not going to ask you your's because it's Niall for the same reasons. However, both are quite cute." She answers with a small chuckle.

"Mean, you aren't wrong on the cute part. I mean, I'm not gay per se. But, you know." I voice my opinion as I look at me sister and wink. She is always able to read between the lines. At times, I'm thankful for that.

"Your secret is always safe with me. Lock and key Cian. Always. I remember the first time you told me your small secret." She answers and with her answer, my mind goes back to when I first told her months ago.

Sitting at my desk, as I tap my laptop to wake it up. My background is simple to me but would be wrong to others if they ever see it. To me, it keeps my heart beating. Gem has always been my light however, when she was gone; this was and is the light that shines with her.

A quick tap on my door breaks my eyes from my screen. Before I could answer or even make my screen go dark, my door bursts open.

Gemma and her curls come bouncing in.

"Sorry, I had a nightm—-." She stops as she spots my screen.

"That's a cute picture of you and Blain. I didn't know you two were a.." She's interrupted by my voice.

"We're not a thing." I quickly answer.

"Oh, sorry. It just seemed in that picture. You two would be. You know never mind. Please ignore my rambling." She responds. I turn back to my screen and before it turns dark, I see myself giving Blain a piggy back ride. His head rests on top of mine as we both laugh at Gi who's taking the picture. Kayte is in the background laughing hysterically. I lost a bet and this was the consequence; giving Blain a piggy back ride to each class with Kayte laughing every time.

"You know what, let's go take a walk and look at the night sky. It'll help us both." I suggest to her. The light grew in her once dimly lit eyes. Before I knew it we were outside in our favorite place.

"They'll never see me more than just a friend you know." I voice out.

"They'll love you for you. You know, you could be gay or bi and I still would love you endlessly. Either way, I wouldn't be mad at you. You can't help who you love. He or she will come around. Maybe, if you tell them how you feel. I can tell, they love you the same. Let your voice be known so they know exactly how you feel." Her voice is soft as she speaks. "Trust me Cian, he'd be lucky to have you and your mood swings." She finishes with a smile.

That's how she figured out who my heart beats for. Besides just her and our family. Never once has she judged me. Never once has my secret slipped from her lips. It's never made it to the tip of her tongue and for that, I'm grateful for. I just don't know how our family would hold up knowing the truth.

Their son, their brother is bisexual.