Five
"No, no, your pinky like this!" I watch Noah and my daughter interact. It is such an odd feeling, really. Jolie is trying to show Noah how to drink a 'proper' cup of tea, pinky up and all. She grabs his large hand in her tiny one and lifts his pinky up. Noah struggles keeping it straight, but I can see that he is actually trying.
"Oh my dearest apologies princess." Noah bows slightly and tries to keep a straight face but when he notices me watching, he lets out a short laugh.
"Mommy, you try."
I grab the tiny toy teacup and take a sip from the empty cup, with my pinky out of course. I have played princess with her way too much to have a silly slip up like that.
Jolie smiles widely, content that at least one of us is being a true princess.
Like my husband, she often gets distracted easily. I was surprised to say the least that when we got home, she remembered the agreement she made with Noah. She automatically insisted we play princess.
And to my surprise, Noah willingly obliged. I mean, you cannot really deny a three year old who gives you giant puppy eyes and a pout.
She had asked my dad to play too but he was too exhausted. He decided to go lay down and take nap.
"I'm going to check on my dad." I get up carefully and excuse myself. I was sure Jolie would keep Noah busy. I could still hear her giggles from all the way down the hallway.
I knock on the door quietly, careful not to wake him up if he is still sleeping. "Dad?" I ask.
"Leslie, is that you?"
I walk in and turn on the bedside lap. His bedroom illuminates lowly, allowing me to notice the various pictures hanging on the walls. It has been a long while since I have been in this room. My most recent memories here are all terrible--filled with tears and anger from abandonment. "How are you feeling?"
"Good. I'm glad to be out of that damn hospital." A laugh escapes my lips as I move and sit at the edge of his bed. His bed sheets are the same navy blue and white stripes. The bed frame the same color of light oak. I run my fingers along one of the leg posts, feeling the scratches made from when I was a teen and thought it would be rebellious to carve designs into anything wooden around the house.
"I'm glad you are home." I mean every word. I do not know how long my father has. Of course I wish for an eternity but I will have to settle for what I have now. These next few weeks, months, I do not know.
"Oh darn it, I just remembered something Leslie. Since I've been stuck in the hospital, I haven't had time to go get groceries. Oh I can't believe I f-"
"Dad, it's fine. I will go right now."
This man, always thinking of everyone but himself. It is about time the roles were reversed and someone is here to look over his.
I remember when my dad would tell me that when he got older, he would become the baby and his baby, me, would have to take care of him. Life is funny like that. Our life really does come full circle.
"Oh are you sure? I can send Noah."
"No. Noah has done enough helping. I'm here to help now dad." I place a kiss on his forehead and turn off the light, urging him to get more rest.
At this point, it is painful to look at my dad. He says he is okay but his physical appearance says otherwise. The colors have drained from his face. The spark in his eyes are not absent.
I lean against the door frame, facing the living room. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I cannot break down. I have to keep my composure, for the both of them. If I could deal with the death of my husband, I can deal with the possible soon death of my father.
I giggle at the sight of my daughter placing a plastic tiara on Noah's head. It sparkles with a mix of silver and neon pink glitter. With the sun reflecting off of it, you could see it from a mile away. I find it so weird that this guy would so willingly play with a little girl he just met today.
Noah's eyes bounce to mine and I flush red from embarrassment. I was not meant to be spying on them. "I-I'm heading to the grocery store. I can take it from here now. Thanks."
"Well, you can't leave your dad alone. I can watch Jolie too. I think she's much too occupied playing princess to go grocery shopping." He's taunting me but the jokes on him because he is the one wearing the princess tiara.
He quickly catches on to my facial expression and immediately removes the tiara, but Jolie shouts in protest. He places it back on his head without missing a beat. "Sorry princess, my apologies." Jolie curtsies and accepts his apology. She fixes the sparkly pink tiara on her own head, exposing her toothy grin.
"Honestly Noah," I sit at the edge of the couch in the living room. "You probably have a lot to do." I sigh.
"Actually, I don't have a lot of family around." I watch as his gaze flickers towards the door behind me in attempt to avoid eye contact. A different kind of expression etched on his face. One that I knew he had no intentions of telling me. "Besides, I am essentially your dads part time caretaker."
That is true. My dad explained that before I had arrived, Noah would help take him to his appointments and bring him food when he was too weak to do so himself.
For that I am eternally grateful. It would be wrong of me to not welcome him. That being said, I do not want to overbear him with other jobs that he does not need to help with.
"Thank you for that." He nods, understanding the message I am trying to get across.
"I'll watch her. I'm going to hang around a little longer anyways." Jolie plays with her dress, twirling around the living room and ignoring the conversation happening around her.
"No...you don't have to do that for me." I protest, crossing my arms lightly in my lap.
He looks at Jolie momentarily. "Oh i'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for her, Kline."
Cue the embarrassment. He's doing it to get a rile out of me, I just know it.
"Fine," I slip on a green zip up jacket that is hanging on the coat rack by the door. "Please, call me if anything happens." I reach for my black boots and put them on.
As I am about to exit, I am interrupted.
"I need your number."
"Oh damn, you're right. Sorry." Sheepishly, I grab my phone out of my jacket pocket and hand it to him. He types away quickly and hands it back. "Thanks again. Bye Jolie." She's too distracted to respond. I am glad because if she noticed, there would be a 50% chance that she would start crying.
I walk out and lock up behind me.
Believe it or not, this is my first time leaving Jolie alone. I know my dad's home, which keeps my at ease. I also think I trust Noah enough but still. I don't know, I just feel a bit sad. It was never my intention to shelter my daughter but that is just how things went. Sometimes I think I relied on her more than she did on me, after Andrew.
Jolie is also like my best friend. We spend all our days together. I feel weird leaving and not having her by my side. I miss having her tiny hand in mine and hearing her giggle as she discovers something new everyday.
I know I am only going to the store but it is odd. I guess it is a mothers instinct to always be thinking about your child.
The walk to the grocery store takes about ten minutes. I take a moment to look around the streets. I walk along the sidewalk and glance at the multiple boutiques. Some familiar and some completely knew. Same hardware shop, different flower shop. I suppose I cannot really expect for things to have stayed completely the same.
Something catches my eye but I disregard it and keep walking.
Wait.
I walk back slightly and almost let out a scream of excitement.
Meg's Mega Cakes.
She really did it. She said she was and she did it. This girl.
Without second guessing myself, I walk in happily. I am practically skipping into the shop. I do not think I have been this excited in months. I see her but she's too busy icing a three tier Tiffany blue cake to notice.
"We're closing in 5 minutes." She says without looking up, too distracted on her current project.
I speak up loudly. "Aw, I was so excited to look around. I had a friend in middle school, her name was Meghan and she always told me she was going to open up a bakery one day." I pout.
I watch as she slowly places the frosting bag down and looks up.
"Shut up! Shut up! No way." Her jaw hangs open in shock. "Les, is that really you?"
I nod with a wide grin on my face. "Yes, now close your mouth or you'll catch bugs," I laugh softly.
She runs towards me and embraces me in a tight hug.
"I'm so proud of you Meg," I continue. I pull away and grab her by the shoulders, getting a good look at my once best friend.
"Oh meg," She is still as gorgeous as ever with her tight curls and golden skin. The girl was tan year round and I was envious of that fact. "It's been so long, I'm so sorry." I apologize.
I have been apologizing a lot lately. It is to be expected, I left everyone here in such a rush. I did not bother looking back and that must have hurt many people who cared about me.
Her eyes begin to water and I pull her into another hug. "Leslie, I thought I was never going to see you again. After you left, I never heard from you again."
I try to hold in the tears. I was never one for crying in public. Meghan and me were childhood best friends. In middle school we signed up for baking lessons. One night in my room, Meg swore she was going to become a professional baker. I believed her and I am glad I did. She manifested her dream and from the looks, it is going very successfully.
"I know. I'm so sorry. A lot has happened, you wouldn't believe."
She gestures for me to sit at one of the small tables. "Meg, I shut everyone out. I got so lost at one point that I did not want anyone in my past to remember me. I felt like an embarrassment." I place my head in my hands.
She does not know about Jolie or Andrew. No one except my dad and a a few people from my old town.
"I know, about your dad. That must be hard. I'm here for y-"
We are interrupted by the sound of the door opening. "Oh we are cl--Noah?" Meghan asks.
Does everyone here know about Noah?
Wait, Noah?
My breathing steadies when I see Jolie with him. What about my dad?
As if he read my mind, he speaks up, "Linda stopped by. Brought some bagels and stuff. She said she would watch over him for a bit."
I nod, calming down.I think Linda has always had a secret crush on my dad every since her husband and her got divorced. I honestly think my dad may feel the same.
"Noah, I didn't know you had a little sister." Meg pipes up.
Noah's eyes widen, unsure of what to say. Well, I better start explaining now. I am not going to put this on him.
"No--Meg. That's Jolie. Um, my daughter." Jolie let's go of Noah's hand and rushes towards me, tugging at my jacket.
I pick her up and place her on my lap.
Meghan looks shocked but she quickly composes herself. "I didn't know." She smiles lightly, a glint of sadness reflecting on her features. I knew that was bound to happen. I could not have expected returning to this town with a daughter and not have people confused and or upset.
"There's things I've kept hidden in the past, but my daughter won't be one of them. I'm sorry for not telling you Meghan." She nods understandingly but I know she is racking up a list of questions in her head.
"She was crying for you. So I was taking her to the grocery store but then I saw you through the window."
"Thank you Noah." Meg raises her eyebrows in question but I wave her off for now. "Jolie, sweetie, this is Meghan, one of my best friends. Can you say hi?"
Jolie looks up and lifts her arm, waving. "Hi. My name Jolie." She laughs.
Meghan grabs her little hand. "Hi Jolie. How old are you?"
Jolie struggles a bit but manages to put three fingers up. She exposes her grin. "Three! Oh what a big girl you are now." Meg jokes in a playful tone.
Jolie nods repeatedly.We settle down in silence. Neither of us saying much because if we do, I know we will stay here for hours.
"I've got to get to the grocery store. I'll see you later yeah?" I say to Meghan. She stands up and engulfs me in another hug.
She pulls back and looks at me. "Don't be a stranger this time okay?"
"I promise."
For a moment I forget Noah is still here.I pick up Jolie and carry her in my arms.
Once we leave Meghan's and start heading for the grocery store, I can no longer control my laughter
"What?" Noah asks. "What is so funny?"
"Noah, you are still wearing a tiara." I keep laughing and he grumbles annoyed.
"The entire time I was at Meghan's and you didn't say anything? She did not even say anything!" He replies with a scowl on his face. "No wonder the people I passed by on the streets were giving me weird looks. I think someone even took a picture!" He says. Knowing this town, I would not be surprised if that picture was framed up at the Joe's diner down the road.
I shrug, "It was hilarious."
"Alright, you just started a war, Kline."
I snort, waving my hand in disbelief, "Oh what are we? 13?"
"We are never too old to play pranks." He shoves his hands in his jeans, a smirk evident on his face. Noah keeps walking, not saying another word.
I laugh loudly and catch up to him, "I can't decide who is the child anymore. You or Jolie?" He sticks his tongue out, defiantly.
He is definitely the child.
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