51

That night, Sanyukta slept in her own room, and Randhir's nightmares came back.

He woke up in a pool of sweat and then got out of bed, deciding to call his dad. It was about 3 AM there, but in Canada it was afternoon.

"Randhir?" his father asked. "You're calling?"

"Yeah... how are you?" Randhir asked.

"Good, I'm just about to go to meet Mr. Jha. I'm looking to get your relationship fixed with his daughter Sanaya," Harsh explained.

"Dad... why do you want me to get married?" Randhir asked.

"It's just like a business deal," Harsh explained. "They're a well off family."

Randhir frowned. He didn't like the idea of marrying like a business deal, but he had no say in it.

"What if I found someone dad?" Randhir asked.

"Don't you dare think about it," Harsh warned. "Do I need to remind you what your mom did?"

"Yeah..." Randhir murmured. "I guess I shouldn't think about it."

"Good. When are you coming back?" Harsh asked.

"In a few days," Randhir answered.

"Okay, I'll talk to you then," Harsh said, and without even saying bye, he hung up.

Randhir ended the call and laid back down in bed, trying to control his emotions. He wished he didn't have to go back to Canada and marry that girl Sanaya. He wished he could stay here and give Sanyukta a chance. He wished that he believed in love... he wished that love even had something worth believing in.

With difficulty, he managed to fall back asleep, only to wake up to another nightmare.

In the morning, Sanyuka avoided Randhir and went off to work. Randhir avoided her too. He didn't want to have another conversation with her... he was afraid that he may fall vulnerable.

When Sanyukta came back home from work late at night, Randhir had already locked himself in his room.

She banged on his door loudly.

"What?" he called from inside.

"Open the door," she demanded.

Randhir got off the bed and opened the door.

"What do you want?" he snapped.

She pushed past him into his room.

"When are you going?" she asked him.

"In a few days," he answered.

He noticed the pain in her eyes for a few moments, before she covered it up by looking away.

"I don't care when you go... I was just asking because I needed to know," she told him and then went to sit on his bed.

"What are you doing?" he snapped, following her to the bed.

"I'm sleeping here tonight," she said decisively.

"No you're not," he answered angrily.

"Yes I am," she told him, just as angrily. "It's my house. I can sleep wherever I want!"

"Do you have any self-respect?" he snapped.

"Relax. I'm not going to touch you," she retorted, rolling her eyes. "I'm just sleeping here. That's final."

"Why?" he snapped.

"I couldn't sleep well in my room last night and I know you couldn't sleep well alone either," she answered. "Don't get me wrong... I still hate you."

"I still hate you too," he said darkly.

"I'm going to get changed and then come... you better not lock the door. If you do, don't forget that I still know the hairpin trick," she threatened.

"What's wrong with you?" he yelled, irritated by her behaviour.

"You!" she replied, just as irritated.

Then she turned around and went back to her room to change into her night clothes.

Randhir sat on the bed and waited for her, feeling a strange sense of comfort in the fact that she was going to sleep with him tonight.

52

Sanyukta came back in the room wearing short shorts and a loose t-shirt. Randhir looked at her and his breath caught in her throat. Was that the right attire to wear in front of him? Was her plan to seduce him?

"What are you wearing?" he snapped.

"My night clothes," she told him, looking at him like he was asking something stupid.

"I mean short shorts? You couldn't wear pants? You're exposing your legs!" he told her incredulously.

"Seriously, for someone who lives in Canada, you have backwards thinking," she told him, rolling her eyes and then got in bed next to him. "They're just shorts. If you look at me in that way, then anything will look bad."

"You're calling the way I look at you disgusting?" he asked her irritably.

"I'm calling you disgusting," she told him lightly and then laid down next to him.

"And I'm calling you stupid," he said to her, lying down too. "Go straight to sleep. Don't touch me or talk to me."

"When will you stop being so arrogant?" she mumbled, closing her eyes.

"When you stop being so stupid," he retorted, resting on his side and facing her.

"That's rude," she replied, turning around to look at him.

He glared at her, and although it was dark, they could see the intensity in each others' eyes very clearly.

"I really do hate you," he told her.

"I hate you more," she replied stubbornly.

"No, I hate you more," he responded, irritated.

She propped herself up on one elbow and pushed him on his back, falling over him in the process.

"Get off," he told her.

"I won't. What will you do?" she snapped, annoyed.

"Get off or I'll make you regret it," he threatened.

"Oh yeah? Make me regret what?" she asked, and placed one hand on his chest, the other one resting on his shoulder.

"Move," he warned.

"No," she replied stubbornly.

He used all of his force to turn her over on the bed so that she was lying down. He held her arms down as he glared at her.

"Don't do that again," he told her.

"I will," she replied.

He glanced down at her lips, his heart beating fast.

"You don't know how much I hate you right now," he whispered.

"You can't hate me more than I hate you," she replied stubbornly.

She glanced up at his lips too, and he noticed that she wasn't even struggling from under him.

"You hate me a lot don't you?" he asked her, his voice now soft.

"Yes," she told him darkly.

"And if I told you I didn't really hate you?" he asked her, his voice barely above a whisper. "If I told you I was lying this whole time? What would you do?"

"I would tell you I was lying too," she whispered back to him, tears filling her eyes. "I would tell you I don't really hate you too."

"Then would you let me kiss you?" he asked her softly.

"Yes," she whispered breathlessly.

Holding her arms down, he brought his lips down close to hers.

He didn't know what hit him... he felt intoxicated. More than intoxicated, he felt care-free, like the consequences didn't matter to him anymore.

"Then know this. I don't really hate you. I'm just scared," he admitted. "I'm scared to love you... but I do."

"What?" she squeaked, tears escaping her eyes.

"I do love you," he murmured, and then before she knew it, he had closed the gap between their lips and kissed her, causing her heart to skip a beat.

53

Sanyukta felt like she was going to die from shock. First, Randhir confessed that he loved her and now his lips were on hers without allowing her to even fully grasp that he had confessed.

He kissed her lips softly, letting go of her arms, and with shaking hands, she wrapped her arms around his neck, butterflies flying in her stomach. She didn't know how to kiss. Maybe Randhir did.

It was a short kiss.

Once Randhir broke the kiss, he grabbed her arms again, looking into her eyes.

"Thank you," she whispered, tears in her eyes.

He let go of her and laid down next to her. She leaned into him and wrapped her arm around him from the side.

"You mean a lot to me," he admitted, bringing his hand up to rub her arm that was rested on his stomach.

She smiled and tried to move closer, but it was difficult. So instead she threw one leg on top of him and used it to move half of her body on top of his, bringing her face to fit into space beside his neck.

"I love you," she whispered into his neck breathlessly as his arms wrapped wrapped around her body, holding her tightly to him.

"I love you too," he admitted.

She kissed his neck softly, causing his heartrate to shoot up.

"Sanyukta," he whispered, as her hand moved up to his cheek, her lips pressing harder into his skin.

"Hmm," she whispered, as she started to suck on the skin of his neck.

"Don't," he told her.

"Okay," she finally said and stopped what she was doing.

Instead she lifted her head from the pillow and aligned her face with his, glancing down at his lips.

"I've never kissed anyone before," she admitted.

"Me neither," he responded.

"So you don't know how to either?" she gasped, feeling her heart flutter when he admitted that she was the only one he had kissed.

He shook his head.

"Nope," he answered.

"Are you tired?" she asked him, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Not at all," he admitted.

"Then do you want to figure out how to do it properly?" she asked him, her voice quiet and seductive.

Randhir couldn't help but smile after hearing her so innocently, yet seductively asking that question.

"Okay," he whispered back to her, and she smiled widely at him, a glint in her eyes, before closing the distance between their lips.

54

She was kissing him from on top of him. This wasn't good for him. In fact, he was worried that if this went on, he would lose all control he had over himself.

"Open your mouth," she ordered from on top of him, bringing her lips off for a few seconds.

"What?" he gasped, but as soon as he opened his mouth to say that, she had covered his lower lip with hers, sending him into a frenzy.

He brought his hand up to stroke her cheek, his other hand on her lower back.

She broke the kiss and started to giggle. Randhir smiled at her.

"This is so weird," she told him, laughing. "This is really so weird."

"What's so weird about it?" he asked her.

She got off him and laid down next to him. He turned around to face her.

"I mean I would have never expected that this would be happening right now," she said, turning to look at him.

"Me neither," he admitted, "But life's full of surprises."

"Seriously," she agreed.

Randhir then grabbed her waist with his hand, pushing her flat on the bed, before bringing his body over hers and kissing her on the lips again, this time more intensely.

She was taken by surprise again, but wrapped her arms around his neck as he kissed her hungrily. She kissed him back with just as much hunger. This time they even opened their mouths, introducing tongue.

Finally when he broke the kiss, panting for air, she smiled widely.

"That was fun," she told him.

He responded to her with another kiss.

It was fun, and it was addicting too.

For most of the night, they kissed and kissed, until finally, they fell asleep holding on to each other, a smile on their faces.

These smiles were soon going to be severed by the sword of destiny.

55

Sanyukta woke up first that morning, lying on Randhir's chest. Last night's smile was still fresh on her face.

She got off him and placed her hand on his chest before pecking him softly on the lips, causing his eyes to open.

"Good morning," she whispered.

"Come back to sleep," he said groggily and pulled her down on top of him again.

"Okay," she replied, closing her eyes and falling asleep once more.

It was only a few hours later that she finally woke up and realized that she was missing work.

"Shit I'm late!" she gasped as soon as she woke up, startling him.

She sat up on the bed and grabbed her phone, staring at the time, as if it was an illusion that would change back at any moment.

"Late?" he asked, sitting up too.

"For work!" she gasped.

"Forget about work, just stay here," he told her. "I'm going to have to go in a few days anyways."

"What do you mean you're going?" she snapped.

"I have to," he replied seriously. "I have a job there, my dad to take care of, and that girl..."

As soon as he muttered that girl, his heart dropped. How could he say no to his dad to marry that girl Sanaya?

"That girl?" she asked, sounding furious. "What do you mean that girl? The only girl is me, understand?"

He looked at her and smiled.

"Of course," he said to her.

"Good," she replied and placed her head on his shoulder, holding him tightly. "Now you can't leave me."

"Come with me then," he told her.

"I can't just come with you!" she replied. "I have a life here too."

"Okay, we'll think about all of that later," he murmured, "Right now, I just want to kiss you."

She lifted her head and looked up into his eyes, a small smile on her face.

"But I have to go to work," she whispered.

"I told you, don't go," he ordered.

"Fine," she replied. "Let me at least call them to tell them I'm not coming."

"You can call them later," he told her softly.

Then he cupped her face gently, bringing his lips to hers to kiss her. She closed her eyes, as his lips touched hers and her heart didn't fail to skip a beat again.

This felt heavenly to her.

Soon their kissing got more passionate, and she had climbed on top of his lap, catching him by surprise.

He wasn't complaining though, for this felt heavenly to him too.

56

After they finally finished kissing, Sanyukta called her work and told them that she wasn't coming in. Then they started to kiss again with her on top of his lap. It was like an addiction that wasn't letting them go.

Finally pulling apart to breathe, Sanyukta whispered, "Bathroom..."

"Hmm?" he asked, one hand in her hair, pulling her to him again, with his other hand resting on her bare thigh.

She responded to his kiss for a few seconds, before breaking it.

"I have to use the bathroom," she whispered.

"You have to?" he whispered back.

"Yes," she replied, and pecked him quickly on the lips, before breaking free from his grasp.

He smiled at her and held her hand, not wanting her to leave his sight for even a few seconds.

"Come back," he told her.

She pulled her hand off his and then grabbed it again, not liking the idea of being away from him either.

With a smile, she told him, "I always will."

Then she walked out of his room to her own.

"She could have just used this one," he mumbled to himself and then fall backwards on the bed smiling widely, his heart still beating erratically.

Sanyukta brushed her teeth and took a shower too, before getting dressed. She wore a yellow summer dress and tried to do her makeup nicely so that she could look good for him. When she finally returned to his room, the sound of the shower was on... it seemed like he had gone to get ready for the day too.

She sat down on his bed and waited for him. Finally, he came out wrapped in a towel and upon seeing her there, all dressed up and looking like she had worked hard on her appearance today, he smiled and began to walk towards her.

Sanyukta noticed the scars on his body and stood up, walking towards him as well. She placed her hands on his arms and looked into his eyes.

"How did you get them?" she asked him softly, and suddenly his eyes turned dark as he realized that she was referring to the scars from being beaten when he was a child.

Randhir pushed her off angrily, and she fell backwards on the ground, looking up at him with a combination of shock and pain.

57

Randhir felt guilty as soon as she fell on the ground and looked up at him with a pained expression. He knew that her pain was not because she fell on the ground, but rather it was because he had pushed her down.

Sanyukta was sitting on the ground, too shocked to move after he had pushed her. How could he just push her like that? She was only concerned for him. Did she not have a right to ask him?

Tears filled her eyes and she managed to pick herself up. Then she turned her back to him and started to walk away, without even sparing him a single glance.

Randhir watched her walk away with an aching heart, but he didn't even stop her. His past was a sensitive topic for him, and he didn't want to discuss it with anyone... not even with her. Anytime someone would bring it up, his first reaction was to get angry and push them away. In fact, now he was wondering how he let her come so close to him?

He didn't want to hurt her and he didn't want her to hurt him.

Sanyukta went into the kitchen and sat down on a chair in front of the dining table, placing her head down on the table, trying to understand why he was being like this. Admittedly, he must have had a bad past, but that didn't mean that he could just push her around like this.

Why couldn't he understand that she wanted to be there for him? She wasn't his enemy.

After about ten minutes, Randhir entered the kitchen, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. He pulled back the chair next to Sanyukta, whose head was still down on the desk, and sat down.

Placing a hand on her shoulder, he said, "I'm sorry."

She didn't lift her head to look at him and continued to ignore him.

"I'll tell you," he told her softly.

Then she lifted her head and glared at him with tears in her eyes.

"Don't tell me," she snapped. "I don't want to hear it. If it's a chore for you, I don't want to know... if you're telling me because you feel bad, then don't."

He hesitated for a few moments before taking her hand in his gently and squeezing it.

"I want to tell you," he admitted, "I don't know how you will take it... and it scares me that you're coming so close."

She pulled her hand away and looked away from him, sniffling, trying to hold in her tears.

"If it scares you then why did you admit that you loved me?" she asked him.

"Because more than the fear, I want to give this a chance," he confessed. "But that doesn't make the fear go away... in fact, I'm more scared than ever now. I'm scared that my dark past is going to push you away... I don't want you to be with someone who has a past so dark. It will only bring darkness into your own life."

"Who doesn't have a past?" she snapped, turning to face him as the tears finally poured down her cheeks. "If you want to be scared then go ahead and live in fear, but know this... I'm not someone you can kiss when you feel like it and push when you feel like it. If you want me, then you have to include me in your life."

Randhir placed his hand on her thigh, looking into her eyes.

"Sanyukta, I want to include you, but I am scared you'll leave me," he told her honestly. "I want this to work too."

"I will leave you!" she then snapped. "If you act like this, I will leave you!"

Randhir pulled his hand off her and looked at her painfully.

"Then it's better that we end this now," he told her, his voice cracking.

58

Sanyukta felt her heart shatter into a million pieces when Randhir said that it was better for them to end whatever they shared now.

"Fine," she snapped, her ego getting the better of her, as her eyes filled with a fresh layer of tears.

Randhir got up and walked away, leaving Sanyukta sitting there alone. She cried some more. She didn't like that he had pushed her away earlier, even though she knew that he probably had a hard past. It was not right to take your anger out on someone like that... this was the first day of them being together. If they got closer, then who knew what he could do?

She had self-respect. She couldn't allow him to push her around whenever he felt like it.

Randhir left the house, his heart aching. He got in his car and started to drive aimlessly, tears falling from his own eyes. He knew he was wrong to push her, but it was just the first reaction... he hadn't even thought about it. He wished he controlled his actions, but maybe this was better. At least they caught their incompatibility before it was too late.

Today she threatened to leave him. He didn't want to have a relationship if it was going to end badly. He didn't want her in his life if she was going to ultimately leave him and hurt him.

Sanyukta was at home, trying to make herself feel better.

"You deserve better," she told herself, looking into her mirror. "You don't deserve someone who pushes you around and doesn't include you in his life."

A part of her still ached for him though, and the feeling wasn't leaving her. She wanted to comfort him... but she had to respect herself. If he was going to hurt her everytime she came close, then maybe it was better for them to be apart.

Finally, night fell, and Randhir still hadn't come home. Sanyukta paced back and forth in the hallway anxiously. Why wasn't he home yet? Was he okay? Perhaps she had been too harsh... maybe she should have hugged him tightly instead of pushing him away. Now he wasn't even coming home.

She went into her room and changed into her pyjama's.

Another few hours passed and it was two in the morning. Randhir still wasn't home. Now she was sobbing and trying to call him, but his phone was switched off.

"Randhir, come back, please," she was begging out loud through her tears, trying his phone over and over again. "I'm sorry, please come back."

Had he really left her?

The reality of the situation was hitting her hard and it was making her whole body tremble with fear.

Was this how the fear felt for him too? If he felt this, then it was the most terrible feeling.

She should have tried to understand him instead of hurting him. She should have been patient with him. What was wrong with her? She hurt him and herself both.

Finally, she heard the front door open and she ran towards it.

Randhir looked into her eyes with his own red ones.

It was like he had been crying too.

Without another thought, they both ran towards each other and hugged each other tightly, holding onto one other like their lives depended on it.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I'm so sorry."

He broke the hug and cupped her cheeks in his hands, his eyes wet as well. Then he kissed her lips so hard that he took her breath away. She kissed him back with just as much passion, grabbing his shirt, and pulling him as close to her as she could.

His hands moved down to her waist, and he started to push her towards the bedroom as they kept on kissing. She was stumbling, but he was holding her up, not allowing her to fall.

Finally, when they got into his bedroom, Randhir pushed her against the wall, without breaking their kiss. His hands moved down to her pyjama shirt and started to slide it upwards, exposing her bare stomach.

She felt the cool air hit her stomach and her heart started to beat at a crazy pace, as her hands slid up his neck, into his hair, still not getting enough of him.

59

She was pressed up against the wall as his lips worked on hers hungrily, not having enough of her. His hands were on her bare stomach now and she was trembling, feeling his fingers on her skin. It was sending waves of desire up her spine.

Her hands were in his hair, bringing his face as close as possible to hers. Even though their lips were already hard at work, it was like this wasn't enough.

They wanted more.

Finally breaking the kiss, they tried to steady their breaths. Randhir's hands were now on her bare waist, her shirt falling over his hands.

She glanced down at his lips again, feeling very aroused. He let go of her and bent down, placing one arm under her knees, his other hand sliding up her back, and lifted her up.

Sanyuka smiled serenely at him as he carried her to the bed and sat her down on it. Then he fell to his knees on the ground in front of her, dropping his face to her lap.

She was still wearing short shorts, so his stubble was grazing her bare thighs, causing the desire to build up even more inside her.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, tears filling his eyes again. "I don't want to lose you."

Her hands found his hair and she started to stroke his hair lovingly.

"I don't want to lose you either," she admitted, her own eyes filling with tears.

He lifted his head off her lap and looked into her eyes with his own pain-filled ones.

"I am scared," he told her, tears falling from his eyes. "I'm scared that one of us will end up hurting the other one."

She cradled his face between her hands and wiped the fallen tears.

"Let's make a promise then," she whispered. "Let's promise each other that we will stand by one another and we will never hide what we feel... and we will never ever leave each other."

"I promise," he said right away, without even thinking about it.

She took his hand and smiled at him.

"I promise too," she told him softly.

Destiny had already made its promise long ago though, and destiny's promise was soon going to break the promise that they made to each other, because destiny always won.

60

Randhir went into the bathroom to get changed and Sanyukta laid down on the bed, blushing at the thought of him undressing inside the bathroom. She didn't know why she was getting such wild thoughts.

He came out in his night clothes and took his spot next to her in bed. She leaned into his chest and he rubbed her arm lovingly.

"Don't ever scare me like that again," Sanyukta told him, referring to how he had left her that morning. "You don't know how terrified I was... I thought you really left me."

"Sorry," he told her.

"I won't ever talk to you if you leave me again," she threatened.

He smiled and kissed the top of her forehead.

"I am sorry," he repeated.

"Good," she said and then smiled, looking up at him. "So what were you going to tell me this morning?"

"Oh about the marks," he mumbled. "I was beat when I was a child. I told you before."

Sanyukta lifted her face from his chest and looked up at him, tears in her eyes. He didn't want to see sympathy from her, so he didn't like that she had tears in her eyes.

She just leaned close to him and pressed her lips against his softly. He brought his hand up to stroke her hair, but she had broken the kiss as soon as she started.

"By your uncle?" she asked, remembering how she had come into his room late at night when he was having those numbers and he confessed this.

She hadn't expected that he would have been beat so badly that there would be scars all these years later on his body.

"Yeah, it's because of that," he admitted.

"Do you remember, or is it just because your dad told you?" Sanyukta asked him softly.

"I don't remember," he told her. "But it doesn't matter. Let's forget it."

"It does matter. Randhir, why don't you try to meet your uncle? I mean, you're already in India," Sanyukta pressed.

"For what reason?" Randhir snapped.

"Just to find out... I'm sure he would know what happened to your mother," Sanyukta went on.

"Why would I go to see the man who beat me?" Randhir asked her angrily. "Do you even know what you're suggesting?"

"I know... and I'll come with you! I won't send you alone, but Randhir, I feel like you should see him once. Maybe it's a huge misunderstanding... I mean you don't even remember," Sanyukta told him.

"Stay out of it," Randhir told her angrily.

Sanyukta sat up on the bed and glared at him.

"Don't start again," she warned again.

Randhir sat up on the bed, glaring right back at her.

"You're the one who is starting," he snapped. "Why do you have to interfere in my life?"

"Because whether you like it or not, I'm connected to you now!" she snapped back. "Plus, you have nightmares about me and I'm sure it's connected to those marks. I want to know too!"

"Forget about it," Randhir said darkly.

"No!" she replied stubbornly.

Randhir then grabbed the back of her head and pressed his lips against hers with such force that he caught her by surprise. She grabbed his shirt, and instead of trying to push him off her, pulled him closer.

Finally when they broke the kiss to breathe, Randhir murmured, "I'll find out about his whereabouts tomorrow morning... he's my dad's cousin brother."

"I love you," she told him with a wide smile.

"I'm not always going to say yes to everything," he warned.

She just kissed him again, pushing him down on the bed. He wrapped his arms around her and deepened the kiss. Soon, they fell asleep, holding on to each other again.

The next morning, Randhir found his uncle's number and called it.

"Hi, is Arjun Shekhawat in?" Randhir asked.

"Sorry, he's out of town for the next week and a half. I'm his son. Can I take a message?" he asked.

"No," Randhir mumbled, realizing that he was speaking to his cousin. "Is there another number I can reach him at?"

"Sorry, this is the only one. You can call back next Friday," the man answered.

"Okay thanks," Randhir said and then hung up.

"What happened?" Sanyukta asked from beside him.

"I guess I'm staying in India for longer," he told her.

Sanyukta grinned at him happily.

61

The next few days passed with them spending time with each other and enjoying one another's company. They still had small arguments, but they were happy with each other.

It was only one night, when Sanyukta and Randhir were making out on the bed with her on top of him, that Randhir started to pull her shirt off, and Sanyukta grew tense. As he felt her stiffen, he stopped what he was doing and broke the kiss.

She got off him and bit down on her lip nervously.

"It's not right to go so far," she told him softly, sitting up on the bed.

"Why not?" he asked her, sitting next to her and taking her hand.

She rested her head on his shoulder.

"These things aren't right before marriage," she pointed out. "I mean kissing and making out is fine... but what if we lose control?"

"Why isn't it right?" he asked her. "We're planning to stay together right, so why isn't it right?"

"I don't know... I just don't feel like it's right," she said.

Randhir just sighed loudly and laid down on the bed.

"Good night," he said.

Sanyukta frowned.

"Why are you showing me attitude? I'm just not comfortable," she told him.

"What's there to be comfortable about? If I was married to you, you wouldn't stop me," he told her. "It's just because you don't have faith in our relationship... and you know what, it's not your fault. I don't have faith in our relationship either."

Sanyukta felt her heart drop when he said that he didn't have faith in their relationship.

Did he really mean that?

"But Randhir," she told him softly, "Please try to understand -"

"Just go to sleep," he interrupted. "If you don't want to sleep then at least let me sleep."

Tears filled her eyes. He was fine until a minute ago when he was kissing her, but now when she refused to go further, he was showing her attitude?

"Sleep by yourself then," she said angrily, her voice cracking and then got off the bed before storming to her own room and locking herself in it.

She wasn't going to be the one to apologize after every fight. If he couldn't respect her wishes, then she didn't even want to try to make this relationship work.

Still, as she sat on her bed and cried that night, she waited for him to come and give an indication that he wanted her back in his arms... he gave none.

It seemed to her like he didn't even care about trying to make it work and that hurt her more.

62

Randhir couldn't sleep all night. He didn't want to push her away, but her hesitation scared him. What was the logic behind waiting until marriage? The only thing that marriage would ensure would be a less breakable bond... so her fear was like his, that their relationship wouldn't last.

His fear was stronger than his love.

The next morning, when he came out of his room, he saw that Sanyukta was in the kitchen with sunken eyes, like she hadn't been sleeping all night either.

When he came in, she turned off the stove and poured tea in two mugs.

"Sit down," she ordered.

He looked up at her with surprise, but obeyed. He sat down in front of the dining table and she brought both mugs to the table, sitting next to him.

Placing a cup of tea in front of him, she said, "We need to talk."

"Break up?" he asked right away.

She breathed sharply.

"You always assume the worst," she replied bluntly.

"What is it that you need to talk to me about then?" he asked her.

"I'm willing to give you what you want," she told him, looking up at him.

He looked at her with surprise.

"What?" he asked her, confused if she was referring to the same thing he was thinking of.

"I'm willing to give myself to you completely," she clarified. "I'm willing to have sex with you."

63

Sanyukta looked up at him to see his reaction. She was just testing him to see if he really wanted to go through with this, even if she felt forced to do it.

She understood where he was coming from last night, because in a way he was right... marriage would give more security. She herself couldn't deduce any other reason to not give herself to him. She did feel for him, she did desire him, she did love him... it was only marriage that was the missing link. If he married her, then she would not hesitate to give herself to him at all.

It was just what she had grown up knowing.

"You are willing to?" he asked her, his tone turning dark.

"Yes," she replied. "I mean it's better to just go ahead and do it rather than having our relationship fall apart."

He glared at her like she was out of her mind.

"Really?" he asked her coldly. "So now you're willing to do something you don't want to do?"

"Yes? Isn't that what you want anyways?" she asked him, just as coldly.

"You don't understand me at all Sanyukta," Randhir said, now sounding upset. "It's not sex that I want from you. It's security."

"How can I give you security then?" she asked him. "I won't leave you Randhir... I really won't. I know I get upset at times and I react harshly... and I know sometimes I argue over small things, but I want you to know that I will be here."

"Will you do something for me?" he asked her softly.

"What?" she asked.

"Will you marry me?" he then asked her, and her eyes widened with shock.

64

"M - marry you?" she gasped. "Y - you're proposing to me?"

Randhir nodded.

"You idiot, is this a proposal?" she asked, glaring at him. "But because I love you, of course I'll marry you!"

Randhir smiled at her.

"Let's get married now then," he told her.

"Now?" she gasped, her eyes wide.

"Yeah," he replied, watching her.

"B - but mom and dad? I need their permission too!" Sanyukta replied.

"Get it later," Randhir said. "We'll get married now, but properly married after we get permission."

Sanyukta then relaxed, a smile on her face. She was going to marry him in the future anyways, so what if they had their own small marriage ceremony before? If this could give their relationship security, she had nothing to lose.

"Where are we going to get married?" she asked him.

"Leave that to me," he told her with a smile, and then leaned towards her and kissed her forehead. "I have to go out right now. I'll see you in the evening."

"But where are you going?" she asked, her eyes wide.

"To prepare," he said with a big smile. "Just be here in the evening."

"B - but -" she started, but he had already stood up.

"Thanks for the tea," he told her. "I'll be back soon."

She watched him go, a stunned expression on her face.

Was she really getting married to him today?

This felt like a strange dream that she didn't want to ever wake up from.

In a very short time, they would soon be woken up from this beautiful dream, only to face a much harsher reality, because sometimes dreams didn't last for as long as you wanted them to.

65

That evening, when Randhir finally got home, Sanyukta was pacing back and forth in the hallway nervously. What was happening? She was still confused as to what to make out of it.

He was carrying a bag.

"I couldn't get much. I don't know your size," he admitted, walking up to her. "But we'll have to make do with this."

He placed the bag on the table and took out a beautiful red dupatta. He placed it on her head lovingly, and she looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

Just that he had gone out to get a dupatta meant the world to her.

"Follow me," he said to her softly, picking up the bag, and she followed him out of the house, back up to the hill where they had fallen asleep together a week back.

Sanyukta saw that there were already logs gathered there and a fire was lit, waiting for them.

"Randhir," she whispered, her voice cracking. "What is all of this?"

"Shh," he told her softly, "You don't need to say anything today."

He placed the bag down on the ground before taking her hand in his. Then he started to lead her around the fire.

"We're going to take our marriage vows," he told her. "The full moon is our witness today. It's celebrating our marriage with the stars."

Sanyukta smiled and squeezed his hand, tears falling from her eyes as she followed him around the fire. Soon the wedding vows were done and they both faced the moon, looking up at it for a moment.

Randhir then reached into the bag and took out a beautiful mangalsutra. Her lips started to tremble as he tied it around her neck.

"Take care of this," he said to her lovingly. "You have to protect me now... this mangalsutra is carrying my life force."

She sniffled and nodded, tears falling freely down her cheeks.

Then he reached into the bag and took out a small container of sindoor. When he finally filled her parting, she broke down crying.

"I love you," she sobbed, and hugged him tightly, knocking the container of sindoor to the ground accidentally.

The sindoor spilled like blood on the ground.

66

Sanyukta glanced down at the fallen sindoor and then looked up at Randhir, shock on her features. If her mother saw this, she would say this was a bad omen... but Sanyukta didn't believe in all that.

She just ignored it and continued to hug him as his arms wrapped around her body lovingly.

"We're married now," she gushed happily. "Thank you Randhir."

"Thank you Sanyukta," he replied to her, rubbing her back gently.

Then he broke the hug and cupped her face in his hands, bringing his lips to the parting of her hair where the sindoor was sitting, looking perfect on her. He kissed it lovingly. Then he brought his lips to each of her cheeks, kissing them as well, before his nose touched hers lightly and he kissed her on the lips.

"Let's go home," she murmured to him.

"Let's go," he agreed, and took her hand in his.

They walked home together, smiling and blushing, like a newly-married couple.

When they got inside the house, Randhir picked her up in his arms and started to kiss her senselessly, taking her into his bedroom. He placed her down on the bed and didn't give her a second to breathe. He kissed her so passionately that she didn't even know how she was still alive. Her hands clutched his shirt tightly.

Finally he broke the kiss, only to start attacking her neck with kisses instead.

"Randhir," she moaned, pressing her nails into his shirt.

Her moaning his name seemed to have done something to him because he removed his lips from her neck and looked into her eyes with so much desire that she thought that she would die of embarrassment.

"I love you," he whispered to her, and she blushed, looking away from the intensity of his eyes.

Just then they heard the front door open.

"Sanyu?" Anju's voice said out loud from the corridor and Sanyukta gasped fearfully.

They had not been expecting her parents' to return so soon.

The door to the room was wide open too.

Shit. They were screwed.

67

Randhir looked down at Sanyukta, both of them shocked as they heard Anju's voice in the corridor.

He pushed himself off Sanyukta quickly and took the dupatta off her body, before wrapping his arms around her neck and unclasping the mangalsutra. She looked up at him with shock as he wrapped the mangalsutra in the dupatta. Then he used his thumb to quickly try and rub the sindoor off.

"Do you know how inauspicious that is?" she whispered, her eyes wide. "My own husband wiping off my sindoor and taking off my mangalsutra to hide it..."

"Those things are nonsense," he muttered. "Go into the bathroom and wash off the remaining sindoor... quick!"

"You're right," she whispered and then ran off into the washroom, as Randhir picked up his phone, looking at it like he was hard at work.

Anju then passed Randhir's room. Upon seeing that the door was open, she peeked inside.

"Hi son, how are you?" Anju asked.

"Hi Aunty. I'm good," Randhir replied, a smile on his face.

"Have you seen Sanyu?" Anju asked. "Someone is here to see her."

The tap turned off in his washroom and Sanyukta came out.

"Mom, you're here early?" she asked casually.

Anju looked surprised to see Sanyukta in Randhir's room.

"You're in Akshay's room?" Anju asked, her eyes wide. "At this time?"

"Yeah we were just talking," Sanyukta said. "It isn't even that late."

"Okay... well, your father and I came back early because Sarika Aunty called us here. She is going out of town next week for two months so she wanted to finalize your wedding with Sameer," Anju said, and Sanyukta glared at her mom. "She's outside with Uncle and Sameer. Sorry I didn't call you earlier, we were already in such a rush."

"Mom are you crazy?" Sanyukta hissed. "I don't want to marry Sameer."

"Sanyukta come out," Anju said sternly.

"Mom!" Sanyukta complained. "I'm not marrying him!"

"I said come out," Anju said strictly.

Randhir looked up from Sanyukta to Anju with shock. How could his wife go and marry someone else?

68

Without another word, Sanyukta followed her mom out of Randhir's room into her own. Anju closed the door behind them and sat with Sanyukta on the bed.

"I know this is short notice, but you need to say yes to this marriage," Anju told Sanyukta. "Your dad doesn't want me to tell you this but in Delhi we found out that he has a heart problem."

Sanyukta's eyes widened.

"H - heart problem?" she gasped.

"He may need a heart transplant," Anju continued, her own voice cracking. "We can't stress him out either, otherwise he can get an attack and - and die."

Sanyukta's eyes filled with tears. Her dad had a heart problem?

"He wants to get you married as soon as possible, so he doesn't worry about you," Anju went on. "We've known Sameer's family for years. They're a great family. Sameer loves you... what more do you want Sanyu?"

"I don't love him though," Sanyukta told Anju, her voice cracking. "M - mom I don't love Sameer... how can I marry him?"

"Love will come by itself after marriage Sanyu," Anju said, taking Sanyukta's hand in her own. "Even I fell in love with your dad after our marriage."

Sanyukta's lips started to tremble. Her father had a heart problem and he wanted her to marry Sameer?

"M - mom what if I - I love someone else?" she asked, looking at her mom with teary eyes.

"Sanyukta you have to do this. Your dad has already told Sameer's mom and dad you'll marry him," Anju said firmly. "You can't love anyone else. Get ready and come outside."

Anju then got up and left the room, as Sanyukta started to sob uncontrollably.

"A - at least listen to who I love," she whispered after her mom, her heart aching, "M - maybe you won't be upset."

Her mom had already left... and her world felt like it was shattering from around her. Why was this happening to her? How could her dad agree to this marriage without consulting her? How could he have a heart problem?

What was she supposed to do now?

69

Randhir was confident that Sanyukta would say no to this marriage with Sameer. After all, how could she say yes? She was already his wife. It didn't matter if their marriage was not legal. It didn't matter if the whole world wouldn't accept their marriage. It mattered that they had already accepted each other as husband and wife from within. She couldn't go out and marry anyone else, because she had already vowed to be his.

He wasn't worried.

When Anju came out of Sanyukta's room, she went back to Randhir's.

"Akshay, son," Anju said, causing Randhir to look up from his phone. "You join us outside too. You're like our family member now."

Randhir smiled and nodded. Anju smiled back at him and disappeared into the living room. Randhir was walking out of his room when Sanyukta's door opened from in front of him.

She had changed into traditional wear and looked up at him with lost eyes.

She glanced behind him into his room, but then gulped and looked towards the living room.

It wasn't smart for them to be alone right now.

"Are you okay?" he murmured.

"Sanyu!" Anju called from the living room.

She looked up at him fearfully and she rushed towards the living room. Randhir followed them and sat on the couch beside Kishore, her father.

Anju sat down on the other side of Kishore. Sanyukta disappeared into the kitchen and came out carrying a tray of tea. Randhir nearly rolled his eyes. How typical did they have to make this?

She was going to say no anyways.

After serving the tea, Sanyukta sat down next to Anju.

Sameer's family was seated across from them.

"Our Sanyu is looking beautiful," Sarika Aunty gushed.

Sanyukta looked down, feeling uncomfortable as Sameer eyed her with a smirk.

"When do you want them to get married?" Kishore asked Sameer's mom and dad.

"Can we get them married by next week?" Sarika Aunty asked. "I have to go away after that."

Randhir held on to his tea so tightly that he burned his hand... he didn't notice though. Sanyukta would soon interrupt and deny... she had to.

Sanyukta's eyes filled with tears. She knew what Randhir must be feeling... he must be wondering why she wasn't speaking up.

"I don't mind, but with such short notice?" Kishore asked.

"If our kids like each other, then what's the problem?" Sarika Aunty continued. "Sanyu, you're happy with this marriage right?"

Sanyukta's lips started to quiver. How could she say yes? But how could she say no? One look at her dad's happy face and she knew that she couldn't say no... he would have a heart attack on the spot.

"Y - yes," she said.

Randhir felt the burn this time... and it wasn't a burn to his hand, it was a burn to his heart.

70

After calling their astrologer, they fixed the marriage for the following Friday, and then Sameer's family left. Sanyukta continued to sit on the couch numbly, but Randhir got up and stormed into his bedroom, locking himself in it.

How the hell could she say yes to this marriage? She was already married to him. This wasn't right.

"Sanyu," Anju said, stroking Sanyukta's hair beside her.

Sanyukta sniffled and started to cry.

"I don't want to get married," she sobbed.

"It's for the best," Anju told her. "You have to get married one day, and it's for your father, plus with someone we know is a good boy. It only makes sense."

How could she tell her mom that she was already married? She had to do something.

"M - mom but it isn't right b - because I'm already -"

"Sanyu," her dad said, coming into the living room. "Go to sleep now. Tomorrow morning Sarika Aunty wants to take you shopping."

Sanyukta nodded and locked herself in her room. She could feel that Randhir was angry in the room across from her... but she was waiting until her parents' fell asleep. Then she would go into his room and speak to him. She had to tell him that she hadn't forgotten about him... she could never forget about him.

She was already married to Randhir. She could never marry that Sameer. She just had to handle it tactfully with her father.

Finally, after she was confident that her parents' had fallen asleep, Sanyukta opened her door, and quietly slipped out of her room. She closed her door behind her and tried to open Randhir's.

He had locked it.

She used her hairpin to get in. It was dark inside. She locked his door behind her and turned on the lights.

He was sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall, his eyes swollen, looking like a zombie.

"What do you want now?" he snarled.

Her heart started to ache painfully upon seeing him so broken.

71

Sanyukta walked up to Randhir and fell to the ground in front of him. His knees were against his chest, his hands on top of them. She placed her hands on top of both of his and picked them up before bringing them to her lips and kissing them.

"I love you," she told him honestly. "I want you to know that."

"You are a cheater," he spat. "You've easily agreed to marry someone else?"

"Randhir, I love you," she repeated. "I am not going to marry him. I was helpless."

"Oh shut up," he snarled and then pushed her hands off his.

He stood up and faced the wall, away from her before hitting it hard with his fist.

"Randhir," she said, her voice cracking, wrapping her arms around him tightly from behind. "My mom told me my dad has a heart problem and he could get an attack and die. A - and he was so happy..."

Randhir's eyes widened with shock at first, but then he laughed darkly.

"So that nullifies our marriage?" he asked her, turning around and grabbing her arms.

He pushed her against the wall hard, causing her to wince in pain.

"No of course not. I married you truly," she told him, reaching up and caressing his cheek. "You are my husband... nobody else can take that away."

His eyes filled with tears.

"Randhir I'll tell everyone the truth... just let me handle it tactfully please. I - I am worried for my dad," she told him, her voice cracking. "I love you."

"I hate you," he croaked and she smiled through her tears.

"I know you do," she said softly, "But I know more than the hate you have for me, you love me."

He sniffled and cupped her cheeks. She reached up and brushed away his tears with her fingers.

"Don't give me a reason to hate you for the rest of my life," he warned.

Then before she had a chance to reply, he had pressed his lips against hers hungrily.

"You're my wife," he said against her lips. "You're only mine."

She wrapped her arms around him and smiled.

"I will always only be yours," she whispered, before kissing him back just as hungrily.

72

She was pressed up against the wall, with his hands cupping her face, and her hands on his arms. He pressed her further against the wall with his body. If his body wasn't holding her against the wall right now, then she was sure that she would collapse judging by how weak she felt.

Removing his lips from hers, he attacked her neck with wet kisses, causing her to begin breathing erratically.

Her hands slid under his shirt, running up his bare chest, doing things to him that no girl had ever been able to do for him before.

"It's our wedding night," she whispered.

"I know," he growled, his lips now moving down towards her cleavage.

She took her hands off from inside his shirt and grabbed his hair, pressing his face even further down into her cleavage.

"Sh - shit," she moaned, throbbing with desire.

She wanted him. She wanted him now.

Sanyukta was still dressed in her salwar suit from earlier, and he was in his jeans and a t-shirt.

His face was buried deep in the valley of her cleavage, his hands sliding her kurti top up. She didn't stop him. More than nerves right now was her desire to have him.

Randhir removed his face from her cleavage and looked into her eyes with so much desire that her heart started to beat even faster, if that was possible.

He picked her up in his arms, bridal style, and kissed her lips hungrily, sliding his tongue into her mouth, showing her his dominance. He carried her over to the bed and placed her on it.

"S - shit," she moaned and grabbed his pillow for something to hold on to.

She felt something under the pillow and pushed him off momentarily.

"Wait," she said, breathing deeply.

He got off her and frowned.

"What?" he asked.

She sat up and reached under his pillow, taking out the red dupatta from earlier. She unwrapped it and took out her mangalsutra.

Handing it to him, she whispered, "I am your wife today."

He took it from her, understanding what it was that she wanted, and tied it around her neck, his fingers brushing over her skin.

Then without another moment's notice, he pushed her back down on the bed and started to kiss her more. She used trembling hands to get his shirt off, before pushing him down on the bed and attacking his body with kisses. She softly touched the scars across his chest and kissed them lovingly. He grabbed her hair before she managed to get any lower though, and turned her over on the bed.

Soon her kurti top came off, exposing her bra, and he was kissing her on every part of her body that he had access to.

He picked her up, placing her in a seated position, with her resting her chin on his shoulder, so he could get her bra off, but his gaze fell to something else.

There was a scar on the back of her hip.

"How did you get that?" he asked her, momentarily distracted.

73

"Get what?" she asked him, wondering why his hands froze.

He moved one hand down to the back of her hip, his fingers lightly brushing over the scar.

"This scar," he said.

"What scar?" she asked, sounding genuinely confused.

Randhir sighed loudly.

"Don't you look at yourself in the mirror?" he snapped. "How do you not know that there's a scar on your body?"

"Stop being mean to me!" she snapped back. "How am I supposed to know what's on my back?"

"It's a red mark! How do you not see it?" he responded with irritation.

"You're such a mood killer!" she argued, and then pushed him off her before going to the mirror on top of his dresser and turning her back to it, trying to look. "Where?"

Randhir got up too and walked over to the dresser, brushing his fingers lightly over her scar from beside her.

"Here," he said, "Do you see where my fingers are?"

She had to twist her neck more, but finally she saw the red mark on her hip.

"How did I not ever notice this?" she gasped.

"That's what I'm asking," he replied, sounding frustrated. "How did you get it?"

"I don't know. Maybe I fell or something," she shrugged.

"Sanyukta... the scar looks like the ones I have," Randhir told her seriously. "In my dreams you told me that I was yelling don't hit Sanyu. Could it be -"

Her eyes widened.

"Could it be that I got beat really bad to have a scar too?" she gasped. "So that means the person who hit you, hit me too?"

"I don't know," Randhir confessed. "But there's something about it for sure..."

"I'll ask mom tomorrow. Maybe she'll know how I got it," Sanyukta told him. "But seriously, you had to bring it up now? God Randhir."

Randhir grabbed her waist with his hands and pressed her against the dresser, his eyes lowering to her lips.

"I'm not leaving you tonight," he whispered seductively and she bit down on her lip, trying to control a fresh wave of desire that was building up between her thighs.

As soon as his lips touched hers, she heard the door to her room open and she gasped.

"Sanyu?" Anju's voice called from inside her room, then she screamed, "Kishore, Sanyu isn't in her bed!"

"Fuck," Sanyukta swore from against Randhir.

74

Randhir broke the kiss and looked at Sanyukta with wide eyes. How were they going to get away with it this time? Anju was just across the hall, screaming Sanyukta's father's name.

They heard heavy footsteps run down the stairs, and Sanyukta pushed Randhir off her before running to her kurti top. His shirt was on top of it.

Throwing his shirt to him, she put on her top quickly. As Randhir was putting on his shirt, there was a knock on his door.

"Akshay son, sorry to disturb you so late at night, but have you seen Sanyu?" Anju's worried voice called from outside.

Randhir glanced at Sanyukta and then at the door. She ran up to him and grabbed his arm.

"Wait," she whispered.

Just as she was about to unlock the door, Randhir spotted the mangalsutra still around her neck.

He grabbed her arm, causing her to turn around in shock.

"One second Aunty, I'm opening the door," Randhir said to the door, before reaching around Sanyukta's neck and removing the mangalsutra.

Then he quickly fixed her hair so it didn't look messy. She smiled up at him appreciatively.

As he went to hide the mangalsutra in one of his drawers, Sanyukta opened the door.

"Sanyu?" Anju gasped. "It's three in the morning but you're in Akshay's room?"

"Yes mom, we're friends. I was just talking to him," Sanyukta told her mom.

"Still, it isn't right," Anju warned. "You don't know how worried I was."

"Sorry," Sanyukta mumbled, as Kishore appeared from behind, looking livid.

"Is this a place to be at this time?" Kishore snapped at Sanyukta, then he turned to Randhir. "And Akshay you? You kept her here with the door locked?"

"Sorry uncle. We were just talking," Randhir said, looking down.

"I don't want this behaviour from either of you again," Kishore warned and they both nodded slowly.

"Sanyu, come to your room," Anju said. "I was up looking at designer wedding dresses. I'll show you."

"Mom, I'm really tired now. I just want to sleep," Sanyukta told Anju. "I'll look at them tomorrow."

Anju glanced from Sanyukta to Randhir suspiciously.

"I'll sleep with you," Anju told her daughter.

Kishore then walked away and Sanyukta glanced up at Randhir apologetically. As soon as they disappeared, Randhir closed his door and sighed, feeling defeated.

He had not given up though.

It was their wedding night, and he was going to be with his wife at any cost.

75

He was determined to be with his wife. Nobody could separate them tonight, not even her own parents. Today only he had a right to her... nobody else.

He paced back and forth in his room, waiting for the right time to strike. It was only twenty minutes after they had left when Randhir texted her.

Randhir: Hey come back to my room when your mom falls asleep

He waited for her reply, but it didn't come. Was she really sleeping? How could she think about sleep on a day like this? No. He wouldn't let her sleep today. She could sleep tomorrow and he wouldn't disturb her, but today she had to be with him.

No matter what it cost him.

After about an hour, he paused outside of her room and pressed his ear to the door. He could hear the deep breathing of two people from within. Both Sanyukta and her mom had fallen asleep.

He slowly opened the door and tiptoed inside. He made his way to Sanyukta's figure on the bed. Both Anju and Sanyukta were fast asleep.

Randhir pressed his hand on Sanyukta's mouth and her eyes opened widely with shock.

She knew who it was - nobody else would dare come at this hour and wake her up, so she placed her hand on top of his and took it off. Getting off the bed, she followed him outside the room.

"Are you crazy?" she hissed, as he was about to lead her into his room. "Come to the kitchen. At least then we can say we were getting water."

"As you wish," he whispered back to her, and holding her hand, he took her to the kitchen.

As soon as they got there, Randhir pressed her against the fridge and captured her lips with his right away, his hands gently caressing her cheeks.

She pressed her body against his, wrapping her arms around his neck, the earlier ache to have him having still not left her.

Randhir's hands moved to the sides of her chest, massaging her breasts over her shirt. He could feel that she wasn't wearing a bra anymore.

"Damn," he muttered against her lips, causing her to blush, and she responded by kissing him harder.

As they were kissing, they were so lost in their own world, that they had completely forgotten that they were in an exposed area, where anyone could easily walk in.

It was only when they heard something drop from behind them, that they were brought back to reality, and broke the kiss.

He let go of her immediately, and turned around to see that Anju was standing there, her eyes wide with shock, having witnessed a sight that she would have never expected from her daughter. Her phone had fallen to the ground.

Sanyukta began to tremble fearfully from behind him.

Randhir had been willing to pay any price, and now the time to pay the price had come.

76

Sanyukta was trembling, tears forming in her eyes. This was such an embarrassing situation to be caught in. How did they not hear Anju's footsteps? Perhaps Anju already suspected so she was being careful to be quiet... but now Sanyukta didn't even know how she could ever look her mom in the eye again.

"Sanyu?" Anju whispered, sounding very disappointed. "What is this?"

"M - mom," Sanyukta said from behind Randhir, tears falling from her eyes. "I - I'm sorry."

"If your dad saw this, he would have died," Anju hissed.

Sanyukta sniffled.

"Aunty, we can explain -" Randhir started, but he was cut off by Anju.

"You don't talk. I don't want an outsider to interfere in a matter between me and my daughter," Anju interrupted.

Randhir felt his heart drop when Anju called him an outsider.

"M - mom," Sanyukta said, speaking up through her tears. "L - let me tell you... I - I love him."

"Disgusting Sanyu. You've caused me to drop my head in shame," Anju responded, sounding disgusted. "This childish obsession is not love."

"I - I haven't done anything for you to be ashamed of," Sanyukta replied, her voice cracked. "I love him a lot. P - please understand. I r - really love him."

"I love Sanyukta," Randhir said, and grabbed Sanyukta's hand from behind him, pulling her forward, beside him. "Aunty, I love her a lot and I will always love her... I promise I will take care of her, please trust me."

Sanyukta continued to look down, choking on her tears, finding comfort in holding his hand.

"Didn't I say not to interfere in our family matter?" Anju spat angrily.

"M - mom," Sanyukta said, looking up at her mom with glossy eyes. "H - he's not Akshay... he's - he's really Randhir. He's our Randhir."

Then she squeezed Randhir's hand tightly.

"And I will never leave him," she told her mom firmly.

77

Anju looked from Sanyukta to Randhir with tears in her eyes. She made her way to the dining table and took a seat, placing her head in between her hands, trying to process what was happening.

Sanyukta, still holding Randhir's hand, lead him to the table and they both took seats across from Anju.

"He's Randhir?" Anju asked, looking up from Sanyukta to Randhir.

Sanyukta nodded.

"He's Renuka Aunty's son Randhir," Sanyukta said.

"How do you know?" Anju asked.

"I saw his passport," Sanyukta replied, squeezing Randhir's hand from underneath the table. "He is really Randhir."

"Oh God," Anju said. "What is this complicated situation?"

She looked up at Randhir and reached forward, placing her hand on top of his free one.

"Aunty -" Randhir started, but Anju shook her head.

"Everytime you came to our house when you were small, you used to scream 'Anju Aunty where is my kheer'," Anju whispered, tears in her eyes. "D - do you want kheer today?"

Randhir felt his own eyes tear up, never having felt this much acceptance or love from anyone before. He nodded.

Sanyukta let go of his hand as Anju stood up and started to make the kheer.

"She doesn't even make me kheer when I ask," Sanyukta told Randhir lightly, with a small smile on her face.

Noticing the tears in Randhir's eyes, Sanyukta reached up and brushed them away with her fingers.

Anju didn't look back at them while she was making the kheer. Randhir and Sanyukta just sat down silently. Finally, Anju brought the finished kheer to the table.

"Get up," she ordered Sanyukta.

Sanyukta stood up and Anju took her seat. She held the bowl of kheer in her hands and used the spoon to pick up a little before blowing on it gently and holding it to Randhir's lips.

"I used to feed you like this," Anju told Randhir. "You wouldn't eat it from anyone else's hands. You always demanded me to feed you."

Randhir opened his mouth as Anju fed the kheer to him and a standing Sanyukta smiled, her heart warming at the sight in front of her.

Anju slowly fed Randhir the kheer, and when he finally finished it, Randhir broke down crying. Anju wrapped an arm around Randhir's back, and Randhir's head fell to Anju's shoulder. Sanyukta's own eyes filled with tears as her mother comforted Randhir.

"I missed you a lot," Anju told Randhir lovingly. "I know you were small when you left us, so you may not remember... but even when you were young, you used to say you would always take care of Sanyu."

Randhir's tears fell on Anju's clothes and Sanyukta brought her fingers up to wipe her own tears. Anju caressed Randhir's hair.

"I know a lot must have happened to you, but for you to repeat the same words as twenty years ago, it must mean that you aren't the one saying them. There's something deep inside you, deep inside your subconscious that was saying those words... I know you'll take care of her," Anju told Randhir softly.

"I - I promise," Randhir sobbed.

"I trust you," Anju then replied, a smile on her face as she continued to stroke her son's hair.

78

"How have you been?" Anju finally asked Randhir. "Where have you been? Randhir, we were so worried about you when you disappeared."

"My dad took me to Canada," Randhir replied, lifting his head from Anju's shoulder and wiping his tears. "I've been living there."

"Harsh?" Anju asked, sounding surprised and Randhir nodded.

"Yeah he was the only one who took care of me ever since my mother's death," Randhir admitted.

Anju went quiet for a while, trying to understand what was happening. It seemed like Randhir didn't know about the reality of his father. She didn't say a word though, because she decided if Randhir was happy this way, then it was better to keep him away from harsh truths. After all, how could she expose her son to darkness?

"Mom will you convince dad?" Sanyukta interrupted.

"Yeah I'll speak to your father," Anju said with a smile to Sanyukta.

Sanyukta grinned happily, her heart feeling light.

Anju took the empty bowl to the sink and started to wash it. After she was done, she returned back to the table.

"You two go to sleep now," she told them seriously. "It's getting late."

"Mom, there's one more thing we have to tell you," Sanyukta told Anju, lowering her voice.

"What?" Anju asked.

"Randhir and I got married," Sanyukta responded, biting down on her lower lip nervously.

Randhir looked up at Anju's shocked expression.

"What?" Anju hissed. "How?"

"I mean, we went to the hill, and we took wedding vows together. He tied a mangalsutra around my neck and filled my parting with sindoor. We only had the moon and the stars as witnesses," Sanyukta told her mother.

"Are you crazy?" Anju asked them. "Marriage is not a game. Plus what you two have done is hardly a marriage. You didn't perform all the rituals, you didn't have witnesses or register your marriage. It doesn't count."

"It does count," Randhir intervened stubbornly. "We married each other from the heart. What significance does anything else make? Laws are manmade. What me and Sanyukta have cannot be manmade."

Anju rolled her eyes.

"Both of you are crazy," she hissed. "Until you two get married properly, you don't count as being married. Understand?"

"No," Sanyukta refused stubbornly. "He's my husband."

"Oh God Sanyu, I'm telling you I'll get you two married, but please have patience," Anju replied. "Go to sleep both of you. In your own rooms. I don't know what you two have been up to when I've been gone, but it isn't going to continue now until you're properly married."

"Mom!" Sanyukta whined.

"Go to your room," she demanded. "I'll speak to your father in the morning."

Sanyukta sighed and looked at Randhir longingly. Randhir looked back into her eyes, and silently told her it was going to be okay. They would somehow find their way to each other.

Everything was falling into place, but sometimes when the whole world seemed to take your side, the mysterious force called destiny, still couldn't be won over.

79

Sanyukta went to her room hesitantly. She got under the covers and Anju got into the bed next to her. Without saying another word to her, Anju fell asleep.

She took her phone and texted Randhir.

Sanyukta: I want to see you

Randhir: Me too... come out for a bit

Sanyukta: To get caught again? Are you crazy?

Randhir: Then don't... I'll just stay here by myself thinking about you then

Sanyukta blushed as she wrote the next text.

Sanyukta: What exactly are you thinking about?

Randhir: The things I would do to you if you were in front of me

Sanyukta: What?

Randhir: I would remove all of your clothes and kiss you all over

Sanyukta blushed a deep red and glanced at her mom before turning away.

Sanyukta: All over? Where?

Randhir: You act so innocent... let's get to the point

Sanyukta gasped, but then bit down on her lip.

Sanyukta: What point?

Randhir: I'm very hard and I want you now.

Hard? Did Randhir just say he was hard? Shit... that sounded so sexy.

Sanyukta: Should I come out?

Randhir: Is that a question?

Sanyukta: I'm scared mom will wake up

Randhir: But I need you now...

Sanyukta: I think you're exaggerating.

Randhir: Come feel how hard I am then you'll see how much I'm exaggerating

Sanyukta: That's actually so hot

Randhir: So you're turned on too. Come now.

Sanyukta: Randhir I'm scared

Randhir: Come, your mom won't be that mad and your dad is probably fast asleep

Sanyukta: I'm wondering if it's worth it... first tell me what you'll do to me?

Randhir: Honestly I'll fuck you so hard that you'll forget about who you are

Sanyukta's eyes were wide and she was throbbing with desire. Now she had no choice. She needed to see him.

Sanyukta: Open your door

She quietly snuck out of her room and closed the door, before running into Randhir's room and locking the door behind her.

Then without another word, she threw her arms around him, attacking him. She kissed his lips with so much hunger that she didn't think she could ever be satiated. He pressed her body against his and she realized that he had been telling the truth.

He was very hard, and she was so, so wet.