105

After a few minutes, Sanyukta took out her phone and started to play a game on it, bored out of her mind. Randhir was highly focused on his work, that he was only shaken out of it when his cellphone started to ring.

"Yeah Sanaya?" he asked, sounding distracted.

Sanyukta's head shot up, feeling her stomach roll over.

"No I'm busy tonight," he told her. "We'll go out for dinner tomorrow."

Sanyukta rolled her eyes and tried to block out the sound of him talking to Sanaya, but she couldn't. For some reason, it made her feel sick that he was talking about going on a date with her.

"I'm busy right now. I'm in the middle of some important work. We can discuss our plans at home," he told her. "Yeah... I love you too."

Sanyukta's heart began to hurt when he told Sanaya that he loved her. Yet she felt a strange sense of satisfaction when he told Sanaya that he was busy. Why did it matter to her anyways? He could be as busy or as free as he wanted. He could love or hate whoever he wanted. She didn't care.

"I'm bored," she said out loud. "If you have nothing for me to do, then can I go?"

Randhir glared at her.

"You want work to do? Fine. Go get me coffee," he told her.

"I'm not getting you coffee!" she responded, feeling offended.

"Then sit quietly," he told her.

She breathed sharply.

"You're wasting my time on purpose!" she retorted.

Randhir picked up some papers from beside him and a stapler, sighing loudly.

"Staple these," he told her. "Two sheets together. I expect fifty stacks."

"I'm not your secretary!" she huffed angrily.

"You have three choices. Sit quietly, staple these, or get me coffee," he told her simply.

Sanyukta grabbed the stapler and angrily started to staple the sheets of paper together. It wasn't like she had anything better to do anyways.

"Ouch!" she screamed, her hand hurting, as she accidentally stapled with her thumb on the other side.

Randhir stopped what he was doing, hearing a voice in his head, his younger self say, "I will always take care of her".

He ran over to her side, taking her hand in his. Upon seeing the blood on her thumb, he sat on the chair next to her and started to blow on it.

"You still don't watch what you're doing?" he asked her.

Tears filled her eyes, as she remembered that she had tripped and fallen down on the ground on their first meeting. Even then, as a stranger, he had come and taken care of her. Now, as someone who hated her guts, he was taking care of her.

He let go of her hand and ran to get a first aid kit from his drawers. He pulled out some antiseptic and a bandaid and rushed back over to her, sitting down on the chair next to her.

She watched him with awe as he rubbed the antiseptic on her thumb, blowing on it all the while. She was so lost in him, that she hadn't even felt the sting. It was only after he had wrapped her thumb with a bandaid, that he said, "Done" and she was shaken out of it.

She pulled her hand off his and looked away from him.

"I could have done that myself," she snapped.

"Still so much attitude," he muttered under his breath. "I helped you for no reason."

"Yeah, it was for no reason!" she snapped, but inside, she felt a warmth that he still cared for her after so many years.

After he went back on laptop to do his work, she couldn't help but watch him and smile.

106

Once Sanyukta finished stapling the stacks together, she looked back up at him.

"What should I do now?" she asked him.

"Nothing," he responded, his eyes fixated on his laptop.

Sanyukta started to play with her fingers, once again, bored out of her mind.

"Why do you want to keep me here?" she finally asked.

Randhir looked up from his screen, looking irritated.

"What do you mean?" he snapped.

"I mean shouldn't you want to send me back to India?" she asked him. "You hate me. So why don't you sign the contract and then just let me go back?"

"I hate you, you're right," he told her firmly. "But I don't want to send you back yet."

"Why not?" she probed.

"I don't know," he answered, this time honestly.

"How long do you plan on keeping me here then?" she asked him.

"I don't know Sanyukta," Randhir answered. "Just let me work."

"But I want to know," she complained. "When can I go back?"

"When I tell you. It'll take a while, so don't get too hopeful," he said to her.

"Fine," Sanyukta mumbled. "I still don't understand why you want me to stay here."

"From tomorrow, you'll work with another colleague of mine," Randhir told her simply. "She's not in today, that's why I'm keeping you here."

"Yeah whatever," Sanyukta replied.

The rest of the day passed in silence, with Randhir hard at work, and Sanyukta playing with her fingers. Finally when it was time to go, Aryan entered the office.

"Ready to go Sanyukta?" he asked her.

"Yeah," Sanyukta said, standing up. "I am."

Randhir just ignored her as she left with Aryan.

When he went home that night, Sanaya wasn't home again. He tried her phone, but it was dead. Once again, it was only two in the morning when she got home... drunk again.

"Sorry," she was slurring.

"What the hell Sanaya," he said angrily, grabbing her arms to hold her up.

"You don't give me time Randhir," Sanaya confessed. "I need to spend time with my friends."

Then she passed out against him.

As Randhir placed her on the bed, he decided that if this was going to continue, then it wasn't going to work between him and Sanaya. Surely his father wouldn't force him to stick with someone who didn't know how to respect her partner.

"Why are you putting me in a tough spot Sanaya?" he asked her unconscious figure. "You're making it hard for me... I want to accept you, but it's difficult for me to when you behave this way."

107

Sanyukta avoided Aryan again when they got back to the hotel, and it was only the next morning that she met him.

"Are you okay? You aren't talking to me properly," he told her.

"I'm fine," she said, "I told you I haven't been feeling well. I just need space."

Then she walked ahead of him to the car. Once they got to the office, Aryan went back to work with Parth, and Randhir introduced her to Vidhushi Kumar.

"Vidhushi will take over," Randhir told her simply. "Don't bother me. Whatever questions you have, ask Vidhushi."

Sanyukta nodded and followed Vidhushi, glad that she didn't have to face Randhir anymore.

Vidhushi was really nice. She was friendly with Sanyukta and they worked together on some presentations.

During lunch, Sanyukta went to find Aryan, but instead she bumped into Randhir accidentally in the hallway.

"What is it?" he asked her with irritation.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "It was an accident."

Randhir just shook his head and was about to walk past her, when she grabbed his arm to stop him.

"What?" he asked her, walking back up to her, facing her.

"I wanted to tell you something," Sanyukta told him simply. "I have your mom's diary."

"What?" Randhir gasped, his eyes wide.

"I haven't read it yet, but your uncle told me that the secrets behind your childhood are in that," Sanyukta replied.

His eyes filled with anger and he grabbed her arms before pushing her against the wall in the hallway.

"Don't you dare read that," he warned. "Bring it straight to me."

Her eyes filled with tears as she noticed the wrath in his eyes. She struggled from under him, but he wasn't letting her go.

"My childhood is connected to yours too," she snapped. "I have rights to it too!"

"You have no right to interfere," he warned. "It's my mom's diary!"

"She treated me like her own daughter!" Sanyukta yelled at him.

"Yeah maybe before your father killed her," Randhir yelled back at her.

"Stop it Randhir!" she screamed. "My father didn't kill her!"

Just then Aryan came out into the hallway and upon seeing Sanyukta in tears, being held against the wall by Randhir, he charged towards them and pushed Randhir off Sanyukta, before throwing a punch at Randhir.

"Aryan!" Sanyukta screamed, grabbing Aryan's collar. "How dare you hit him?"

Both Aryan and Randhir looked up at Sanyukta with surprise.

108

Randhir looked with awe at Sanyukta. She was defending him in front of her current boyfriend? Why? He saw the livid expression on her face, and he knew she was really angry.

Sanyukta started to shake Aryan, holding his collar.

"You dare do that again and I will never spare you," she threatened.

"S - Sanyukta what's wrong with you?" Aryan spluttered. "I was standing up for you."

"You think I can't stand up for myself?" she screamed. "And who are you protecting me from? Randhir? You can only protect a person from someone else... not themselves."

Randhir and Aryan looked at her with shock, and Sanyukta herself was shocked at her own words.

She just told them that Randhir was a part of her, and she didn't need any protecting from herself.

"I - I mean, it's not nice to hit each other," she covered, letting go of Aryan.

"Watch it," Randhir said darkly to Aryan. "Even your girlfriend doesn't have your back. And don't ever interfere when I'm talking to her. Do you understand?"

"I don't know what's gotten into her," Aryan said, just as darkly to Randhir, "But I will always interfere if you treat her like this."

"No!" Sanyukta screamed loudly, not sure why she was still speaking. "Don't ever come in between me and Randhir."

"What's wrong with you Sanyukta?" Aryan asked.

"J - just don't!" Sanyukta told him, tears now falling from her eyes. "Nobody has the right to interfere between me and Randhir. When I told you to let me handle him, I meant it! So please, don't ever come between. When you don't know our bond, then don't assume!"

"What bond?" Aryan screamed back at her. "You're driving me crazy Sanyukta! On one hand you say you want to be with me, and on another you avoid me when we leave the office, and now you're not letting me protect you outside?"

Sanyukta's eyes widened and so did Randhir's. Randhir looked at Sanyukta with shock as Aryan confessed that Sanyukta avoided him.

"Aryan why are you talking about our personal matter here?" she whispered.

"Because I'm going crazy!" he screamed. "I really love you but if you're going to keep pushing me away then it's hard for me to love you too!"

"Aryan," Sanyukta whispered, reaching out to hold his arm, but he stepped back.

"Just stop Sanyukta. I told you I'd give you time... I know you don't want to rush things. But why do you lead me on in office, and when we get to the hotel, you lock yourself up in your room like you want nothing to do with me?" Aryan asked her.

Randhir's eyes moved from Sanyukta to Aryan, nothing but shock in his system. So this was how it was. Their relationship seemed to be a namesake relationship, controlled by Sanyukta. It seemed to him like the only purpose of her relationship with Aryan was to invoke jealousy within him.

Yet, as he watched the tears pour from her eyes, he couldn't help feel the burn in his own heart.

"Please Sanyukta, if you can't appreciate me, then don't pretend like you need me in your life," Aryan told her. "My relationship with you seemed forced... I don't know why you said yes to me. Maybe you wanted to use me."

"U - use you?" Sanyukta gasped.

What would she even use him for?

"Maybe you liked my attention," Aryan continued.

Randhir rolled his eyes. This Aryan thought too highly of himself. Sanyukta never wanted Aryan's attention. Sanyukta only wanted his own, and Randhir knew that.

"A - Aryan," Sanyukta said, her voice cracked. "Please calm down."

"You're just an attention seeker," Aryan went on. "That's what you are."

"Hey!" Randhir now yelled, and grabbed Aryan's collar, pushing him to the wall. "You have no right to hurt her or call her names."

"Says who?" Aryan bellowed.

"Her husband!" Randhir yelled back, just as angrily.

Sanyukta felt like she could collapse at any moment.

109

Did he just claim that he was her husband? All of a sudden, he remembered that he had married her? Her eyes filled with tears and she felt the same ache in her heart as two years ago when he left her. Where had his love and concern gone in the last two years?

"He's lying," Sanyukta said coldly.

Randhir turned around to look at Sanyukta.

"She's right. I'm lying," he agreed, and then let go of Aryan.

Then he stormed away from the duo and Sanyukta stumbled backwards until she hit the wall. Then she fell to the ground and broke down crying.

Aryan looked at her with surprise.

"You're hurt because of what I said?" he asked her, sitting next to her. "I'm sorry."

"It's not you," she told him. "It's Randhir."

"I won't spare that guy," Aryan said with gritted teeth.

"Didn't I tell you not to hurt him?" she asked him, tears falling from her eyes. "Only I have the right to hurt him."

"What?" Aryan gasped like she was out of her mind.

"Nobody can hurt him except me... because... because he's right. We did get married. As his wife, I can't take it if anyone else hurts him or insults him. I loved him," Sanyukta confessed, and then broke down again.

Aryan looked at her with shock.

Then he stood up and shook his head.

"Unbelievable. You lied to me," Aryan accused.

Without another word, he stormed away from Sanyukta, leaving her crying there alone. Randhir, who had been watching from a distance, walked back up to her and took out a handkerchief from his pocket.

"Wipe your face," he told her coldly, holding it out for her.

She ignored his handkerchief and stood up. Then before he had a chance to say anything, she threw her arms around him tightly, burying her face in his chest, and sobbed.

"I - I hate you," she confessed. "But when you said you were my husband, it w - was like... l - like everything shook within me and I don't want to run away anymore. B - but I can never be with you... I - I hate you!"

110

Even today, as he held her, it was like her body fit perfectly against his. His arms were wrapped around her, and he rubbed her back comfortingly, trying to soothe the ache in her chest... the same ache that he was feeling in his own chest.

"I can never be with you too," he told her, holding her close to him. "I've moved on already."

She broke the embrace before laughing sarcastically through her tears.

"Right. Sanaya," Sanyukta mumbled.

"How do you know?" he asked her.

"I bumped into her when she came to give you your wallet," she admitted, her heart aching at the thought. "Like a wife comes to give her husband's wallet."

She couldn't be in that position, despite having married him. Yet Sanaya was there, in her place, not even married to him.

"Okay. You're in the hallway and you're crying. Maybe you should take care of yourself before someone sees you," he told her.

"Right I'm embarrassing you," she told him.

"You don't need to start your drama here," he warned her.

"I'm doing drama?" she gasped, her eyes wide.

"Aryan's right you know. You are an attention seeker. Except... he doesn't seem to realize it isn't his attention you want, it's mine," Randhir told her with a smirk.

Sanyukta slapped his arm hard and then she smiled through her tears.

"You don't look so bad when you smile," he told her with a small smile on his own face.

Sanyukta smiled even more widely and then turned her back to him, before walking away to the bathroom. Sometimes he wasn't so bad.

No... she had to remind himself that he wasn't just bad, he was horrible, and she hated him. She couldn't soften up... then why was it that her heart was overpowering her mind right now? Why was it that she was feeling a warmth in her chest that only he was ever able to bring to her?

That evening, when Randhir got home, Sanaya was waiting for him.

"I know I've been upsetting you a lot Randhir," Sanaya said to him. "I'm really sorry."

"It's okay," Randhir told her. "I just don't like it when you drink like that. You don't know who can take advantage of you."

"Yeah..." Sanaya mumbled, and then walked up to him, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him.

Then she broke the hug right away.

"Randhir why is there lady's perfume on your shirt?" she asked, sounding confused.

"A girl was crying at work today so I was just comforting her," Randhir told her.

"Okay," Sanaya said with a smile.

A few kilometers away, Sanyukta was in her room, and she picked up the black diary that Randhir's uncle handed her. Finally gathering the courage to read the diary, she opened it and began to read...

111

Diary Entry #1

It is the first time I am writing here. My name is Renuka Shekhawat, and I have a six month old son Randhir. We just came back from Anju's naming ceremony for her daughter, and Randhir chose her name. Sanyukta. It was a sweet moment. After the naming, Randhir held Sanyukta's hand like he would never let go.

I wish Harsh came with us. He actually argued with me before I Ieft... he said he didn't want to come because it was a waste of time. He didn't have any interest in my friends. He has been arguing with me a lot and it hurts. Yesterday he even raised his hand to hit me, but he stopped himself. I've only been married to him for about two years, and in the beginning, we were very much in love.

I don't know what happened. I think he found another lady... but maybe I am wrong. I hope I am wrong. I am writing here because I feel lonely.

Diary Entry #2

It has been three years. Randhir is now three and a half years old. He is very attached to Anju's daughter Sanyukta. He always says he wants to play with her. Sanyukta loves his company too... they won't play with anyone else other than each other. It is very sweet.

Harsh started to raise his hand on me two years back, and ever since, he has been beating me. I wanted to leave him, but I feared for Randhir's future. I love Randhir a lot... for him, even if I get beaten to death, I will tolerate it. There is a problem though. He slapped Randhir today. I yelled at him for doing that. He can't hurt my son and take his anger out like that. I received a beating in response.

Maybe today is the only day he would do it. Maybe he just needs time to understand.

Diary Entry #3

It has been another year. Randhir is now four and a half years old. Today, we were at the park with Anju and Sanyukta. Sanyukta fell down and Randhir kissed her knee, claiming to always take care of her. Their friendship and care is so innocent. I won't be surprised if they grow up and marry each other. Sanyukta then replied by saying she will always take care of him too.

Harsh has been beating Randhir for the last few months. My mother's heart aches, but we have nowhere to go. Only Harsh works. I don't have a job. I can't support Randhir if I leave with him. I keep trying to convince Harsh to stop, but I get beat so badly, that sometimes I even wonder if he'll kill me. I found out that he believes I'm cheating on him with Kishore Agarwal. It's not true. I would never do that. Nobody has entered my life other than him. He hates that family because of that misconception.

After the park, Sanyukta asked me if she could come home with Randhir. I brought her and Randhir both home. They were playing for a bit, and then I heard Sanyukta and Randhir both screaming.

Randhir was screaming not to hurt Sanyu, and I was scared that Harsh was beating Sanyukta. I rushed there and saw that he had a belt that he had whacked across Sanyukta's back. Sanyukta was crying and Randhir was sobbing too. Then Harsh started to beat Randhir as Sanyukta began to yell at him to stop.

I grabbed Sanyukta and Randhir off him and took them both with me to the car outside, to drop Sanyukta home. Sanyukta was shivering fearfully and so was Randhir. In fact, Randhir looked more traumatized.

I dropped Sanyukta home, then went back home to end it for good with Harsh. He isn't home yet. Oh... the front door just opened. He is yelling my name with anger. I have a bad feeling... if I don't write again, then it was Harsh.

--

That was the last entry.

Sanyukta gasped loudly, tears falling from her eyes. There were bloodstains on that page, and Sanyukta was shaking.

She pressed her hands to her head and she recalled a memory stored away deep in her subconscious.

--

"Randhir where is Renuka Aunty?" Sanyukta asked.

"In her room I guess," Randhir said with a shrug. "Is your booboo okay?"

"Yes, you kissed it right? It is okay now!" Sanyukta replied happily.

Just then Harsh came into the room looking livid.

"Daddy," Randhir was saying. "Look Sanyu is home!"

"What is this little bitch doing here?" Harsh screamed. "Who brought her here?"

Sanyukta started to shiver uncontrollably.

Harsh removed his belt from his jeans and grabbed Sanyukta's arm, pulling her up.

"Daddy!" Randhir screamed. "What are you doing?"

"Harsh uncle, I'm scared," Sanyukta said fearfully.

He whacked Sanyukta hard with his belt.

"Don't hurt her!" Randhir screamed. "Please - please leave her. Leave - leave Sanyu. D - don't hurt her. D - don't hit her."

"Help!" Sanyukta sobbed. "It hurts!"

"Sanyu," Randhir yelled, sounding terrified, and jumped in front of the belt, taking the lash. "D - don't hurt her. I - I have to take care of her."

Harsh then started to beat Randhir with his belt.

"Stop uncle!" Sanyukta screamed, and ran around Harsh to grab his leg. "I have to take care of him! Stop!"

"You bloody bitch!" Harsh screamed, and Renuka came in the room, pulling both Randhir and Sanyukta in her arms.

"Harsh!" Renuka screamed, tears in her eyes. "What is wrong with you? How can you be such a monster?"

Then she picked up Sanyukta in her arms and held Randhir's hand tightly.

"This is not the end," Harsh warned, glaring into Sanyukta's fearful eyes. "I will never spare you."

--

Sanyukta was shaking, tears in her eyes.

"R - Randhir," she sobbed out loud. "It - it has been your dad all along."

With trembling hands, she dialed Randhir's number. It was eleven at night, but she needed to see him now.

"I - I need to meet you," she sobbed into the phone.

"You're crying?" he asked her.

"M - meet me now!" Sanyukta cried. "A - at my hotel. Come here."

Then she gave the address of the hotel and she fell to the bed, sobbing. This Harsh was going to pay for what he did to her, Randhir and Renuka Aunty.

She was going to make sure he repented.

112

Randhir was getting ready to leave his apartment to meet Sanyukta. Sanaya hugged him from behind, stopping him.

"Where are you going?" she asked him.

"I have some important office work," he lied.

"Can't you do it tomorrow?" Sanaya complained.

"No it's urgent," Randhir said, and shook her off, putting his wallet in his pocket and taking his cell phone with him.

"Randhir you never spend time with me!" Sanaya whined.

"Can't you see it's important?" Randhir yelled angrily. "I have to go! You need to respect that! You never respect me Sanaya!"

"Is it wrong for someone to expect their fiance to spend time with them?" Sanaya argued back.

"Just leave me alone," Randhir said angrily, and stormed out of the apartment.

He got into his car and started to drive. As he was driving, he got a call from his dad.

"Sanaya told me you had a fight with her," Harsh said, sounding stern.

"Dad, I can't marry her if it continues this way. She has no respect for my wishes. I hate saying this but she comes home drunk at night," Randhir told Harsh.

"So? I don't care what she does. It's good for us if you marry her," Harsh told his son firmly.

"But dad, shouldn't I have some respect?" he asked his father.

"Just marry her and do what you want after marriage," Harsh said coolly. "Anyways go back home and spend time with Sanaya."

"I'm busy right now. I'll go home after my work," Randhir told Harsh.

"Go home now," Harsh ordered and then hung up on Randhir.

Randhir stopped the car, frustrated. What was wrong with Sanaya? Why did she have to involve his dad in every little thing? If he didn't go home now, she would tell Harsh. Randhir called Sanyukta.

"Sorry, I can't meet now," he told Sanyukta.

"What?" she gasped. "No! I need to see you! You don't understand. It's important!"

"My dad's making me spend time with Sanaya," Randhir confessed. "I can't go against that."

"Randhir, this is about your dad! Your dad killed your mom and beat you and me both!" Sanyukta yelled into the phone. "Come see me and I'll show you proof!"

"Have you lost it?" Randhir yelled angrily. "You've gone mental!"

"Randhir I'm not lying!" Sanyukta screamed. "Don't wait for things to get out of hand! Come see me. I'll prove it to you!"

"No!" he screamed back. "You're just trapping me again."

"Fine Randhir. If you think I would waste my time calling you to make things like this up, it's up to you to believe. I guess you'll regret it when things get so out of hand that you won't be able to save it," she screamed. "You will wish you believed me now. You will regret harder than ever!"

Then she hung up.

She had cursed him once more, in turn cursing herself.

Randhir just shook his head and drove back home to Sanaya. Sanyukta had gone crazy. There was no way his dad could be behind any of that... she was trying to get back at him for leaving her. That had to be the reason.

Sanyukta on the other hand, left her room with frustration. If she couldn't speak to Randhir about it, she had to find Harsh Shekhawat and give him a piece of her mind.

He was not getting off easy.

113

Sanyukta left her room and went straight to the office. It was late at night, but Vidhushi had given her an access key in case she needed to stay back to do some work.

As soon as she entered the office, she went into the administrative office and went through the employee files, until she found Randhir's.

It had a list of his addresses. She used her phone to take a picture of his addresses. There was one he lived in until last year, and he had recently moved into the one he was currently living in. Sanyukta assumed that the present one was the place he lived with Sanaya, whereas the old address was with Harsh.

As soon as she left the office, she took a taxi to Randhir's old house.

On the way there, she called him again, hoping that he would change his mind.

"Are you sure you don't believe me?" she asked into the phone.

"Yes," he told her firmly. "I'm busy with my fiance. Please stop calling me."

"Randhir, I'm going to your old house," she told him just as firmly. "I'm going to give your dad a piece of my mind. I don't care if you believe me or not."

"Are you crazy?" he bellowed.

"I got your address from the admin office at work," she told him simply.

"You are serious?" he gasped.

"Yes. I am very serious," she told him. "Your father killed your mother and he abused you and me... and even her before she died. It's up to you now."

Then she hung up the phone, just as the cab stopped in front of the house. She paid the taxi driver and gulped nervously before approaching the house.

She knocked on the door slowly.

Harsh Shekhawat opened the door, looking at her with a confused expression.

"I'm Sanyukta Agarwal," she told him, trying to sound confident. "I came here to tell you I know what you did, and I'm going to get you arrested for it."

Harsh's eyes widened when she said that, and he grabbed her arm and pulled her into the house, locking the door behind her.

She looked up at him fearfully.

"You bitch. You're back to start trouble," Harsh hissed. "You want a replay of the past?"

Her heart started to pound faster as he took off his belt to lash at her just like he used to do all those years ago.

She pressed call on Randhir's name on her phone and pretended to accidentally drop it to the ground.

She had to prove this to Randhir, even if she was going to get hurt for it.

114

"Why did you kill Renuka Aunty?" Sanyukta screamed at Harsh. "What did she ever do to you? She loved you so much!"

"You bloody bitch!" Harsh screamed. "Watch what I do to you. You came here to mess with me? You chose the wrong man to mess with."

"Why did you hurt Randhir? I know you hit me because I was the daughter of Kishore Agarwal and you thought your wife was having an affair with him. Fine! But why Randhir? What did Randhir do to you? Are you not ashamed of the scars you left on his body?" Sanyukta screamed.

He raised his hand and whipped the belt across her arm. She clutched her arm tightly, falling backwards onto the ground.

"Ouch!" she yelled. "Do you feel like a man to hit a woman like this with a belt?"

"You are dead," Harsh screamed at her. "Just like I killed your Renuka Aunty, I will kill you too!"

"Why did you kill her and then run to Canada?" Sanyukta yelled, tears falling from her eyes. "Why did you have to kill her? If you hated her so much, why didn't you just leave her?"

"Because I couldn't let her leave me for someone else! How could I let that lady go to someone else? How would that look? If she wasn't committed to me, I had to either kill her or keep her with me! But that bitch was threatening to leave me... I couldn't let her leave me!" Harsh screamed. "Randhir reminded me of Renuka! Everytime I looked at him, I would wonder whose son was he? Was he my own son or was he the son of some other man?"

Tears fell from Sanyukta's eyes.

"She never cheated on you!" Sanyukta screamed.

"I know Randhir is my own son... so when I brought him here, the first thing I did was a DNA test. Renuka would never allow me to do it. I would have killed Randhir too... when I found out he was my son, I raised him like my own. I stopped beating him," Harsh said simply. "You were always a nosy girl. Back then too, now too. Now that you know so much, you are going to die Sanyukta Agarwal. You will die!"

"You can kill me, but your son will know the truth!" Sanyukta screamed. "Your son is going to hate you!"

Harsh sneered.

"You don't worry about my son. Worry about yourself," Harsh yelled, and then raised the belt and whipped her again, causing her to yelp in pain. "I won't just kill you, but I'm going to snatch away any dignity you have left."

"M - my dignity?" she gasped.

"You thought you can be oversmart and come here alone? Didn't you forget that I murdered my own wife? I can do anything?" Harsh sneered, and then got down on his knees and pushed her backwards on the ground.

"D - don't touch me!" she screamed. "You're disgusting!"

"You will be taught a lesson for being nosy," Harsh told her firmly.

Then he held her down to the ground.

She struggled, trying to use her knees to kick him, but he was holding her down in such a way that she wasn't even able to move. Soon, he had torn her clothes, and she stopped struggling, giving up.

Tears fell from her eyes and she knew she couldn't even scream. Nobody would hear her here.

She had already cursed away any chance of safety. She had wanted Randhir to regret big time, and this was the way he would regret the most... destiny's twisted game was now starting to make sense to her.

Her wounds were wet from getting whipped by the belt, but when Harsh had finished with her, she was frozen, like a zombie. Naked, in pain, but emotionless.

She felt dirty. So dirty. But she was numb. She couldn't move.

Finally, Harsh went to the kitchen to get a knife, perhaps to kill her. It was a big knife.

She still didn't move. She wanted to die. She didn't want to live anymore.

Her eyes closed, and she managed to whisper, "Randhir", expecting the knife to stab her and kill her.

The stab didn't come.

She opened her eyes, everything fuzzy, nothing registering.

Randhir came.

But he was too late.

115

As soon as he heard the belt whip her, he had run out of his apartment and into his car, driving at full speed towards his father's house. He kept the phone on speaker, and heard the whole conversation. He heard how his father killed his mother. He heard how his father used to beat him and Sanyukta. He heard it all.

Then when he heard his dad talk about killing Sanyukta and taking away her dignity, he slammed on the acceleration so hard, that one wrong turn and he would get into an accident, guaranteeing his death.

Tears were falling from his eyes, as he heard the whole deed through the phone.

"God please," he was sobbing. "Please stop all this. Do something. I never believed in you, but today I am praying. Save Sanyukta!"

He was forgetting that Sanyukta had once prayed to make his life miserable. She had once prayed to make him regret everything he ever did... and what better way to make him regret, than lose the one thing he loved more than anything else?

Once he got there, he knew he was already too late. He saw his father approach her with a large knife, but Randhir had ran towards him and grabbed his arm.

He looked at his father with disgust and tears in his eyes, before pushing him back on the ground, grabbing the knife from him.

"I considered you my God!" Randhir screamed at his dad, and he fell forward over his dad, holding the knife to his throat. "How could you do that to Sanyukta? My Sanyukta? She - she's my world! She means everything to me! She's my wife!"

"R - Randhir," Harsh said, "I - I don't know what she told you but she's lying."

"You'll lie some more dad?" Randhir asked, sobbing. "How could you be such a monster? It's all my fault... I didn't believe her! I trusted you over her!"

Then he got off his dad and threw the knife to the side.

He rushed upto Sanyukta's naked figure and took off his shirt before dressing her with it. Her clothes were torn. She had nothing to wear. She was lying down numb and bleeding.

He sat her up on the ground, and she fell forward, having no conscious awareness of herself. He held her to him tightly, sobbing with her in his arms.

"I am so sorry," he cried. "I am so sorry Sanyukta... I am so sorry. I wish I was in your place."

Then he picked her up in his arms and he glared at his dad, "I'm letting you go because I know she won't like it if I killed you... but I haven't let you go completely. You have lost your son today Harsh Shekhawat. You disgust me."

Then, still sobbing, he took her back to his car and placed her in the back seat. He drove her to her hotel, as she lay shivering in the back seat.

Randhir went through her bag and pulled out her key card, before holding her to him and walking with her inside the hotel, until he finally got to her room. He placed her down on the bed and was about to go and sit on the couch, when she finally moved and held his hand.

"Sh - shower," she managed to say. "W - will you help me?"

Randhir nodded, and with a painful ache in his chest, walked her into the bathroom. She couldn't even walk straight. She was leaning against him, like she could die on the spot if he wasn't there.

--

Note: I know some of you many not be happy with this "twist", but it was necessary to move this story forward. I never limit what I write. In fact, I don't want to follow society and limit my writing by not talking about "taboo" subjects. This is the reality we face. Girls get raped. Men like these do rape... it isn't wrong at all to write about it, or put the characters in the story through it. If you consider what I have written to be wrong, then perhaps you aren't aware that this happens very commonly in the real world. It is not "wrong" to talk about these things. Indirectly, it would be shaming raped women, if Sanyukta's character is a turn off now.

Keep reading! Interesting stuff coming up!

116

As soon as he got to the bathroom, with Sanyukta leaning against him, he turned on the water of the shower. He held his hand out in the water to make sure it wasn't too cold or too hot.

"It's on," he told her.

Sanyukta's teeth were chattering. She tried to take off the shirt that Randhir had covered her body with but her hands were shaking too much. Randhir helped her take the shirt off, looking into her eyes the whole time. Then he reached behind her and gently removed whatever remained of her torn up pants. He fell down to the ground, sliding the pants off her body, and her hands clutched his bare shoulder.

As soon as she was unclothed, she stepped into the bathtub and nearly fell over. Randhir grabbed her arm to hold her steady from outside.

She tried to pick up the soap but couldn't even hold it... her fingers were numb. Randhir took the soap and stepped into the bathtub with her. The water had already drenched her, washing away any blood and dirt that was on her.

Randhir used the soap and started on her neck, still not looking at her body because it hurt him too much to see how vulnerable she was.

He rubbed her body with soap, taking time and extra care not to miss a spot. As he reached down to wash her legs, her fingers held on to his shoulders. He was drenched too. His jeans soaked with water.

"I - I am so disgusted I can't even touch myself," she said out loud. "H - how come you are touching me?"

Randhir looked up at her with his knees pressed down on the bathtub floor.

"I can't ever be disgusted by you," he told her honestly.

Her eyes filled with tears and she broke down crying. Randhir didn't know what to do. He continued to wash her body, until the only place left was the place that hurt the most.

He used the soap to wipe the outside of her vagina, then he used his fingers to gently scrub it.

She started to cry even harder.

"It's still not gone," she sobbed. "I can still feel him!"

Randhir's eyes filled with tears and his face fell forward against her stomach, trying hard to compose himself. He couldn't fall weak too... otherwise who would she hold on to?

"I'll get him off," he said, lifting his head, "D - do you trust me?"

She nodded without any hesitation.

Randhir let the soap fall to the ground and he used his fingers to continue to get the feel of his father off Sanyukta.

He slipped a finger inside her to wipe clean any feeling she had in there and he felt her tears fall down to his shoulders.

"Tell me if it's too much," he told her seriously.

"Just get him off," she cried. "Get him off or kill me."

Randhir held back tears and cleaned her up inside her vagina. Finally he took his finger out and stood up.

He used shampoo to wash her hair and then used her face wash to gently wipe her face.

After he was done, he got out of the shower and brought her a towel. He wrapped it around her shivering figure.

"Y - you too," she whispered. "You need one."

Randhir picked up another towel and threw it over his shoulders before going back to Sanyukta and wiping her body dry. Then he tied the towel around her.

"You - you're still dripping," she told him.

Randhir wiped himself dry, although his clothes were still soaked.

"Where are your clothes?" he asked her.

"Why do I need clothes now?" she asked him, sounding lost. "I already lost what was worth preserving... now what do I have to hide."

"D - Don't say that Sanyukta," Randhir told her, his own lips quivering.

He cupped her face gently between her hands and rested his forehead against hers.

Sanyukta then broke down crying, falling against him.

"I want to die Randhir. I want to die," she sobbed.

117

Randhir wished that he could go through the pain that she had endured. He wished that he could feel what she felt. He wished he could suffer in place of her.

What was her fault? She tried to make him see the truth, but he hadn't listened. He hadn't believed her... and now she lost everything, for him.

He left her because he listened to his dad. He hurt her because he listened to his dad. He hurt her family because he listened to his dad. And now she lost herself because he listened to his dad.

It was all his fault.

She had fallen forward and he was having a hard time holding her up. She had broken down crying. She was so fragile.

"I - I used to say that I wanted to die f - for attention or - or because I was exaggerating... b - but Randhir, today I really want to die," Sanyukta sobbed. "P - please Randhir. I - I don't want to l - live in this world. I - I don't want to survive. I - I want to die."

Randhir hugged her tightly, burying his face in her wet hair.

"Don't ever say that again," he told her. "Do you understand? What will I do if you die?"

"What - what do you mean?" she cried. "Why would you - you do anything?"

"You know it too. I love you very much," he told her, his tears falling into her already wet hair. "I can't live without you."

"Y - you're just saying that," Sanyukta choked. "You - you're being nice. You - you don't want me. I'm - I'm dirty now."

With a pained heart, Randhir knew that she meant what she said. It hurt him to hear her talk that way... in fact, it almost killed him. For the first time, she wasn't being dramatic when she was talking about killing herself. She really wanted to die. She really thought of herself as dirty.

"You aren't dirty. It was not your fault," he told her firmly, holding her even closer to him. "I'm not being nice. I mean it."

"N - no. I - I will die. Why - why did you save me? You should have let him kill me. I - I will never be able to be happy. Randhir I will n - never be able to live," she whispered. "I - I feel so ashamed... so disgusted... I want to rip my skin off. I want to get rid of everything. E - even the shower didn't wash him off."

Randhir broke the hug and wiped the tears that had fallen from her eyes. He kissed her forehead.

"Does this feel dirty to you?" he asked her.

She shook her head.

He kissed her on the cheek.

"This?" he murmured.

She shook her head again.

Then he pecked her on the lips softly.

"Now?" he whispered.

"It - it feels good," she whispered back to him.

"Then trust me that with time we can overcome it together," he told her. "We will be able to get rid of that touch. We will be able to replace it with a feeling like this."

She just broke down crying again and he held her against him once more, rubbing her back soothingly. He fell down to the ground, and she fell against him. She cried on the ground next to him until she fell asleep on his shoulder.

He would take care of her like this his whole life if that was what was required. He had to help her overcome it... because perhaps only then he could get over it too.

118

"D - don't touch me," Sanyukta was saying her sleep and Randhir opened his eyes, having been trying to sleep on the ground against the bed.

She was sweating, still wrapped in her towel, on the floor, leaning on Randhir.

Randhir picked her up in his arms and took her to the bed. As he was about to walk away, she grabbed his arm.

He turned around to look at her, and saw that her eyes had opened and she was awake, looking fearful. Randhir sat next to her on the bed and caressed her hair.

"You want me to stay with you?" he asked her softly.

"I - if you don't want to then y - you can go," she whispered.

"Shh, I'm not going anywhere," he told her and got in bed next to her.

He pulled her body to his and hugged her tightly until she fell asleep again. This time, Randhir fell asleep too.

As he slept, he had a nightmare too... this time, he had a vivid recollection of the abuse from his childhood. The biggest difference was that he was able to put a face behind the body now. He saw Harsh Shekhawat's angry face beating him as a child. He saw a small girl being beaten by the same belt.

Randhir woke up, his heart beating erratically, Sanyukta shivering in his arms still.

No. He couldn't be fearful. If not for himself, then for her. He had to be strong for her. Otherwise she would crumble and would have nothing else to hold on to.

He closed his eyes and focused on the feeling of holding Sanyukta in his arms. This ultimately drove him to sleep again.

The next morning, they were woken up by a knock on the door.

Sanyukta was still trembling when she woke up.

"I'll check," Randhir said.

"Y - you don't have a shirt," Sanyukta whispered.

"Don't worry. You relax," he told her, and she nodded, closing her eyes again.

Randhir went to open the door, and Aryan Harshwal was standing there, and upon seeing a shirtless Randhir in Sanyukta's room, his eyes went so wide that his eyebrows reached his hairline.

119

"What the hell are you doing here?" Aryan asked him, sounding furious. "What are you doing in my Sanyukta's room?"

"Your Sanyukta?" Randhir asked. "You're out of your mind. Didn't she tell you we were married?"

Aryan tried to push past Randhir into Sanyukta's room, but Randhir blocked him. Instead, he pushed him out of the room and closed the door behind him.

"Why is she sleeping with you?" Aryan asked, sounding upset. "She's moved on! She told me I'm her boyfriend!"

"You're a fool to believe that," Randhir retorted, rolling his eyes. "It's better for you to leave us alone and do your own work."

"I was here to wake her up to go to your office," Aryan accused.

"You're free from any office duties. Go explore Toronto and leave us alone," Randhir said decisively.

"Stay away from her! I don't trust you!" Aryan replied.

Randhir crossed his arms across his chest and glared at Aryan.

"I don't need to take orders from someone else about my own wife," he said firmly.

Just then Sanyukta stumbled out of the room, dressed up in dress pants and a blouse, her hair a mess.

"Work right? Let's go," Sanyukta said to Aryan, using her fingers to comb through her hair.

Aryan smirked victoriously at Randhir, but then glared when he turned to Sanyukta.

"What was he doing in your room?" Aryan asked. "And why isn't he wearing a shirt?"

"Don't question her," Randhir snapped. "Neither of you are required to come to work today."

"Then Sanyukta, come with me. We will go sightseeing," Aryan said and reached out to grab Sanyukta's wrist.

Upon seeing him approach her, her breath caught in her throat and she flinched fearfully. Randhir, who noticed this, stepped between Aryan and Sanyukta.

"We're seeing each other again," Randhir told Aryan sternly. "Stay away from her. She's spending the day with me."

"What the hell Sanyukta," Aryan gasped. "Tell him to stop interfering in our relationship!"

"You're really as stupid as you look," Randhir pointed out. "Will you get out of here or will I have to make you leave?"

"A- Aryan, please leave me alone for today," Sanyukta managed to say.

"Okay, but tell him to leave you alone too," Aryan persisted.

"Why are you so annoying?" Randhir asked with irritation.

"Let him stay with me," Sanyukta said. "You leave us alone please."

"Aren't we in a relationship?" Aryan asked. "Why is this bastard here?"

"Aryan!" Sanyukta then screamed, fury in her eyes. "I told you not to talk to him like that. You and I aren't in a relationship. Randhir's my husband. He's allowed to stay in my room. Come Randhir."

The moment that someone pointed a finger at her husband, it was like she completely forgot about her own pain. Her body reacted right away to stand up for him.

Sanyukta grabbed Randhir's hand and pulled him back inside the room, locking the door behind them. Randhir just looked at Sanyukta with awe.

"You impress me more and more each time," he told her.

She looked up at him and he could have sworn he saw her almost smile.

120

"We need to get you a shirt," Sanyukta murmured, sitting on the bed next to Randhir.

"I'm fine. Nobody will say anything to me," Randhir replied to her.

"I know but I feel bad," Sanyukta told him softly. "Why don't you go home?"

"I don't want to leave you," Randhir responded. "Not even for a few seconds."

"Please?" she asked him softly. "I will be okay for a little while."

"Come with me," he told her then. "If you come with me, we can go together... then after that we will go to the police."

"P - police?" Sanyukta asked. "You - you are willing to turn in your own father?"

"I hope he gets the worst punishment," Randhir told her darkly. "Come with me."

"Let me change into something comfortable," Sanyukta then told him and she went into her clothing and pulled out jeans and a sweater.

She got dressed in front of Randhir, having no body consciousness anymore. Randhir didn't look at her though... he didn't want to make it difficult for her.

Finally when she got dressed, she wrapped her hands around his arm and she walked with him outside the room. She was still walking funny... extremely sore from the events of the previous night.

"Is she upstairs?" Sanyukta then asked him, as soon as he parked outside of his apartment.

"Yeah, she should be," Randhir replied.

"What are you going to tell her?" Sanyukta asked him nervously.

"I'll tell her I love you," Randhir said firmly.

"B - but -" she started, but Randhir cut her off.

"No buts," Randhir said seriously. "I was only in a relationship with her because of my father. I consider her a really good friend but I never had the desire to marry her. Come upstairs."

"Randhir," Sanyukta whispered fearfully. "I don't know."

"Come," Randhir pressed on.

Nodding, she got out of his car and he took her hand in his. He walked with her upstairs to the apartment.

He used his keys to unlock the door, and he walked inside, still holding Sanyukta's hand.

"Oh God Randhir!" Sanaya said from the kitchen as soon as she heard the door open, sounding relieved, "You weren't answering my calls all night. Are you okay?"

Then she walked out of the kitchen and upon seeing Randhir shirtless and holding Sanyukta's hand, a confused expression settled on her face.

"Aren't you the girl who came from India?" Sanaya asked.

Sanyukta just looked down at the ground shamefully, unable to face Sanaya.

121

Sanaya looked from Sanyukta to Randhir, looking seriously confused.

"Let me bring you a shirt," Sanaya said, but her phone started to ring and she brought it to her ear, "One second... hello? What? No way! Okay I'm coming!"

She hung up the phone and looked at Randhir with excitement.

"Kelly's dog had puppies! I'm going to go and visit her!" Sanaya squealed, and before Randhir could say anything she had run into their bedroom to grab her purse.

"Sanaya wait! Aren't you curious why I'm like this?" he asked once she rushed back outside.

"I know you're fine and about you holding her hand... she looks like she's upset. I'm sure you're just comforting her," Sanaya said with a shrug, "I know you'd never cheat on me Randhir. I have full faith in you."

Then before he could say another word to her, she grabbed Randhir's shoulders and kissed his cheek, before running out of the apartment, leaving Randhir and Sanyukta alone.

Sanyukta had pressed her lips together tightly when she saw Sanaya kiss Randhir's cheek, but she didn't say anything. Who was she to comment? Randhir had been in a relationship with Sanaya. He had been living with her... probably intimate with her too. Sanyukta had just come back, and now she was not even worthy anymore. Randhir probably only pitied her. That was why he was holding on to her.

"She's always like this," Randhir said with a sigh. "She never listens to me. Watch, she'll only return at like two in the morning, drunk out of her mind."

Sanyukta looked up at him with surprise, but didn't say anything. He just lead Sanyukta to his bedroom and sat her down on the bed. Then he went through his closet and picked out a shirt for himself.

He slid it on quickly and then picked out a different pair of jeans.

"I'll be back," he said, and locked himself in the washroom.

Sanyukta waited for him in his room. As soon as he disappeared, she felt a clawing sensation in her stomach... and it was suffocating. She stood up, trying to take deep breaths, but she started to shake with anxiety again.

She then started to walk around the room, trying to calm herself down. She tried to act a bit stronger today, because she didn't want to hold Randhir back... but the truth was that she felt just as broken as she had last night.

As she walked, she nearly tripped over something on the floor. Randhir walked out of the bathroom, as Sanyukta's gaze landed on it.

"This girl leaves whatever she likes around," Randhir said, sounding irritated and ran up to Sanyukta before bending down and picking up the bra and rushing to lock it in a different wardrobe. "Sorry."

That confirmed it for her. Randhir and Sanaya had been in an intimate relationship. Surely that was the reason she kept her bra around without shame. They shared a bedroom and were engaged. Why did she still hold on to the hope that perhaps he hadn't been intimate with her?

She nearly fell to the ground as she thought to herself, "who are you to judge Randhir's character now?"

Upon looking at the shock on her face, he held her shoulders.

"Are you okay?" he asked her.

Tears fell from her eyes.

"You never thought of me once when you got close to her?" Sanyukta then asked, her voice cracking. "B - but it's okay. I - I can't ask you this. After all... on what basis am I asking you?"

122

Randhir looked at her with shock, but before he had a chance to say anything to her, she had thrown his hands off her shoulders and ran out of the room, towards the front door of the apartment.

"Sanyukta!" Randhir called out and ran after her.

He ran down the stairs, having missed the elevator she ran into by a second. Finally at the entrance of the building, he caught up to her and grabbed her arm.

"Stop! I don't want to waste your time!" Sanyukta said, and pulled her hand off of his grip.

He seized the opportunity to wrap his arms around her and hug her tightly.

"I'm sorry," he whispered into her ear, rubbing her back soothingly. "I know I was wrong. I know I hurt you. I know I left you. I am sorry."

"Don't come close to me," Sanyukta whispered, choking on her own words, "I'm not worth it... leave me alone."

"I love you," he told her truthfully. "I won't leave you alone."

Sanyukta then broke down crying again as he held her to him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her tears falling on his shirt. "I know I'm being unreasonable. You had the right to move on... even I did... I just didn't find anyone. If I did then maybe - maybe I would have too."

Randhir didn't say anything to her. He just continued to rub her back soothingly.

She sniffled and broke the embrace.

"L - let's go to the police station," she told him and he nodded.

Together they went to the police station and filed the report against Harsh Shekhawat. The police said they would do the investigation... but later on, they got a call saying that Harsh was missing and he was nowhere to be found.

"I guess he expected us to do this," Sanyukta whispered.

"We'll get him," Randhir told her seriously.

They were sitting on the bed in her hotel room again with Sanyukta leaning against his shoulder.

"Does it still hurt?" he asked her after a few moments of silence.

"It hurts a lot Randhir... but more than my body, it's painful somewhere else... but I don't know where," she whispered. "I - I'm telling you... don't associate with me. Stay away."

"Didn't I tell you to drop the matter?" he asked her sternly. "Go to sleep."

Then he laid her down on the bed and pulled the covers up to her chin. He got in bed next to her and she brought her head up to his chest, sleeping against his chest, because she found the most comfort in his arms.

They fell asleep holding each other like this again and this time, as he held her, Randhir vowed to be by her side, meaning it whole-heartedly this time.

123

Randhir spent the next week with Sanyukta and completely avoided Sanaya. He tried to talk to her in the beginning, but she was too busy with her own life and her own friends that she wouldn't even take the time to listen to him.

Sanyukta was still the same - she was not smiling, she was trying to push him away from her, and she was having those nightmares that made her break out in a cold sweat at night. Randhir hoped that she wouldn't slip further into her depression, but he was worried that it may be inevitable.

Aryan tried to talk to her, but Randhir always stood in the way. He didn't want Sanyukta to come in contact with anyone right now because anything could trigger her memories at this point. Nobody knew what she was going through and it was a very sensitive matter, so Randhir didn't want anyone's interference.

Randhir even signed the contract and had thrown it at Aryan, telling him to return to India. Aryan refused to return without Sanyukta though.

"Maybe I should talk to Aryan," Sanyukta said that night, as she was running a comb through her hair. "It isn't his fault... he doesn't know what happened to me."

"Why doesn't he just return?" Randhir asked irritably. "He is so annoying."

"He likes me," Sanyukta replied. "I guess I'll talk to him tomorrow."

She finished combing her hair and sat down on the bed, ready to sleep.

"I think you should talk to Sanaya too," Sanyukta told him. "She's probably wondering about you."

"Trust me, she probably doesn't even care. It's one less person who will yell at her when she goes out and gets drunk," Randhir responded. "I'll talk to her though. I will have to eventually anyways."

Sanyukta took a deep breath and rubbed her eyes, sitting against her pillow, next to Randhir.

"Your hair looks nice," Randhir pointed out. "It's shiny."

Sanyukta looked up at him and he couldn't help but notice a glint in her eyes - it was almost like she was laughing at him for coming up with such a silly compliment... except the smile still didn't reach her lips.

"It finally stopped hurting so much," Sanyukta then said. "I don't feel it at all now... except... just the filth of the touch... I don't think I can ever get that feeling off my body."

"You can," Randhir told her seriously. "I'm telling you, you can. You won't even believe me?"

"You've been telling me for the whole week," Sanyukta replied, and now her eyes filled with tears. "But you won't understand. You will never understand what a girl has to go through when she faces a situation like this one."

Randhir took a deep breath and nodded.

"Fine, I won't ever understand. But you can help me understand, can't you?" he asked her. "You can let me in and help me understand."

"You want to understand?" she asked him, her lips trembling, "Th - then listen. It feels disgusting. Like dirt. Even worse... the most horrible feeling. I told you before I want to rip my skin off and die... but I want to get rid of the memory that has fixed itself so firmly in my mind... I can't shake it off...not just nightmares, but even during the day, I get attacks that remind me of how cold, how disgusting it felt."

She broke down, her sobs filling the room.

"I - I just want to yell and scream... but I can't... what will yelling do now? Will it take his touch away? I don't want to feel him on me anymore... I want to get it off... I am disgusted with myself. I hate myself. I hate my body. I hate this feeling. I want to get away from everything," Sanyukta choked. "I - I still want to die... but what can I do Randhir? Y - you saved me... but you s - saved me from a death I wanted, b - because living like this, feeling his touch on my body is not something I c - can endure."

Randhir cradled her face between his hands gently.

He used his thumbs to brush away the tears, before his lips met her forehead in a soft kiss.

"You won't feel his touch anymore after tonight," he told her softly. "You will only feel one touch... and it will be mine."

He gently caressed her jaw, causing her to tremble.

"Will you let me love you Sanyukta?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. "Will you allow me to help you forget his touch?"

Sanyukta looked into his eyes with tears in her own.

"You want to touch a dirty girl like me?" she asked him.

"I want to love a beautiful girl like you," he corrected. "I want to show you that you are worth loving. I want you to see that I really do love you. Will you give me a chance?"

Sanyukta looked at him with shock for a few moments, before she started to shiver.

"Y - yes," she whispered.

Randhir didn't waste another moment and he closed the gap between their mouths, capturing her lips in a gentle, yet passionate kiss, desperately wanting to show her that he really did love her, and that he would do anything to help her feel whole again.

124

Note: Sexual situations

Sanyukta wasn't responding to his kiss. She was fearful and insecure. She was scared that she was already going down into misery, and by doing this, maybe she was dragging Randhir down with her. Despite this, the feeling of Randhir's lips on hers was a nice one, a loving one... it was one she didn't want to push away. Maybe he wanted to touch her and love her so she would only remember his touch... and she desperately wanted to forget the last one.

Perhaps this was the only way. Maybe she was more selfish than selfless right now. She couldn't push him away.

Sanyukta tried to respond to his kiss, but it was difficult because her lips were still trembling. Randhir's lips firmly gripped her lower lip and her heart started to beat faster.

One of his hands slid under her top, caressing the skin of her back gently, and his other one moved down her jaw to the back of her neck, causing her to tremble... this time it was not out of fear or anxiety. She wanted to feel him too.

She gripped the front of his shirt with her hands and opened her mouth slightly. He didn't waste a moment to glide his tongue into her mouth.

As she felt his soft tongue against hers, she moved closer to him, because this act was building waves of desire within her. Randhir reached under her and pulled her on top of his lap... but it wasn't enough. The proximity was still not enough.

He buried his face in the crook of her neck, one of his hands holding her hair to one side. She could feel his fingers and his lips on her neck, which was turning her on more than anything... but no... she couldn't feel this way.

She had to remind herself that she didn't deserve to feel this way.

Randhir, who could hear her rapid breathing, knew how turned on she was... yet she was holding back.

He lifted his head from the crook of her neck and looked into her eyes.

"Kiss me," he told her.

"What?" she squeaked.

"You kiss me," he repeated.

"No!" she refused. "You can kiss me. Why do I have to kiss you?"

"I want you to," he told her softly.

"B - but what right do I have to kiss you?" she asked him.

"Don't start that again," he warned.

Sanyukta nodded and leaned towards him, her body cringing with disgust at the thought that she was taking the initiative to bring her dirty body close to his.

Then she pecked him on the lips quickly before almost jumping back.

"Seems like I have to give you lessons," he told her huskily, and her eyes widened at his seductive tone.

Was he trying to make her want him?

Randhir looked into her eyes, silently telling her that he didn't want her to want him. He just wanted her to want herself... to see herself as worthy.

He reached under her shirt and removed it off her body completely, and unclasped her bra in one quick movement, taking it off as well. Then he pushed her down on the bed and started to plant wet kisses all over her neck.

She was showing no sign of participation, so Randhir took off his own shirt.

He kissed his way down to her collarbone, before licking a trail to the valley of her breasts. Randhir knew that she was having a hard time laying still right now... but it was like she was determined to not respond.

Randhir started to suck on her one of her breasts, his free hand holding the other one gently. He flicked his tongue across her nipple, causing her to almost moan, but she bit on her tongue, not allowing herself to give in to the temptation.

He moved to the other breast now, sucking on her nipple in a loving way. She started to tremble with pleasure, but she remained firm. She couldn't feel this good.

The purpose of this was to get the feeling of that man off... that was all.

Randhir then licked a trail down to her belly button, pausing to suck on it. He felt her muscles contract, like she was turned on... but then he felt them tense again, like she was holding herself back.

He reached for her pants and slid them off along with her panties. Then Randhir placed his mouth over her opening and licked it.

Now it was like she had no choice. She finally moved and gripped the bedsheets tightly.

"Your husband is making love to you," Randhir said, lifting his head slightly so he could look her in the eye. "You're allowed to feel good."

"K - keep going," she managed to say, out of breath.

In the way that she spoke, Randhir could hear the evident desire.

He just pressed his mouth against her opening again, his tongue sliding deep into her folds. As he tasted the wetness that had built up in there, he felt her hands finally grab his head and push it further against her.

Randhir smiled.

He pushed his tongue inside her, as deep as he could go.

"O - oh," she moaned.

That did it for Randhir. He was all over her. He was sucking and licking her sensitive area, savouring the taste, making her feel loved and desired.

She was moaning harder.

"Cum for me," he growled against her entrance.

"Shit," she swore, feeling extremely turned on by his sexy voice, as he drew patterns on her nub with his tongue.

He reached up and grabbed her breasts with both of his hands, squeezing them gently.

Randhir felt it as Sanyukta's whole body trembled and she had a mind-numbing orgasm.

Her taste changed at this point and Randhir eagerly licked the wetness, enjoying the taste.

Her body was burning and she was trying to control her breathing. Randhir unzipped his jeans and pulled them off, before taking off his briefs as well.

Then he positioned his body over her and captured her lips in a deep kiss. Sanyukta's arms wrapped around his neck and she pulled him closer against her, responding to his kiss this time without any hesitation.

"I love you," she said, pushing him back slightly so she could look into his eyes.

"I love you too," he responded with a smile and then took her hand gently in his, bringing it up to his lips and kissing it.

He rubbed his manhood across her soft spot and her fingernails dug into his back, trying to pull him closer to her.

Then in one quick movement he entered her, causing her to gasp.

He closed the distance between their mouths as he began to thrust in and out of her, allowing her to experience his love fully.

Soon, even she started to rock her hips against his and he was feeling himself lose control.

He buried his face in the crook of her neck and sucked on the sensitive skin there. She held him close to her and squeezed her eyes shut, before moaning again.

"Cum for me again," he ordered into her neck as he continued to thrust. "You're holding me back."

"Randhir," she moaned as her toes curled and she had another orgasm.

Hearing her say his name in such a sexy tone did it for him, and he lost control too, reaching a blissful state with her.

After a few moments, he pulled out of her and lay down on the bed next to her, his body sweating.

Sanyukta sat up on the bed and started to cry uncontrollably.

Randhir looked up at her with shock, and he sat up too, placing a hand on her shoulder.

She just threw her arms around him and hugged him so tightly that it was like she wanted to just merge into him.

"I love you," she sobbed. "I love you so much."

125

Randhir rubbed her back soothingly, and held her just as tightly to him. She was sobbing uncontrollably. Her face was pressed into his neck, her tears wetting his skin.

"I love you too," he told her honestly.

She broke the embrace and sniffled. She reached up and cupped his face with her hands.

"I feel cleaner now," she confessed. "I feel much better."

"You were never dirty," Randhir told her softly. "But now you'll only remember the way I've touched you."

"I never want to get the feel of you off me," she whispered. "I want to feel this forever. It feels so good."

Randhir kissed her cheek.

"Want to sleep?" he asked her.

She nodded, her eyes filling with a fresh layer of tears.

He laid down on the bed and she placed her head on his chest. Soon, they fell asleep effortlessly.

That night, neither of them had nightmares. It was like they had completely forgotten why they were here.

In the middle of the night, Sanyukta wasn't in his arms.

"Sanyukta," he called out.

"Hmm," she asked.

It sounded like she was by the bathroom.

"Come back," he said.

"Coming," she said.

He fell asleep again, expecting her to join him on the bed soon. He wasn't aware, that Sanyukta was actually writing a letter on the desk... a letter that was stained with her tears, for she was still not ready to be with him.

When he woke up that morning, he noticed that the room was empty. He saw that all of Sanyukta's belongings were gone.

Panicking, he dialed her number, but she didn't pick up.

He was about to rush to Aryan's room, hoping he had some information on her, when he noticed a letter by his shirt... this letter was about to change his life once more.