Days blur together, and with every conversation I have with Nate, the guilt digs deeper into my chest. He hasn't said it outright, but I can feel it in the way his messages linger—the way he waits for a response to his unspoken declaration of love. I know he's waiting for me to give him something, anything, but I can't. I try to keep most of our conversations to text because facing him... facing what I've done, feels impossible.

But I can't avoid the inevitable FaceTime calls. When his face appears on my screen, his eyes searching for something in mine, I brush it off, acting like everything's fine. But the way he pauses, the way he lingers a second too long on the line—it tells me he knows something's wrong.

I am a terrible person.

"Lil, you coming to the game tonight?" Shawn's voice pulls me out of my head, and I blink, realizing I've been zoning out in the middle of the apartment.

"What game?" I ask, tilting my head, confusion etched on my face.

"The university football team's playing Reddington. Huge game," he says, looking up like he's just remembered.

"Oh, right." I nod, feeling the fog lift slightly. "I'll try to make it." My voice is casual as I finish up with the dishes, but inside, I'm already dreading it.

Just as I'm drying my hands, Kam and Jennie burst into the kitchen, their excitement filling the air like a fresh breeze.

"Talking about the game?" Kam says, grinning as she walks over to Shawn, planting a quick kiss on his cheek.

"Yeah, I was just telling Lil," Shawn replies, leaning into her with a smile.

"Finn's playing tonight," Jennie chimes in, her eyes sparkling. "I heard there might be scouts from pro teams."

I freeze for a second. Finn.

I force a smile, trying to seem unaffected. "Well, I guess I have to be there then."

Shawn stands up, grabbing his keys. "You ready?" he asks Kam, glancing down at her.

"Give me a second," Kam says, stuffing her laptop into her bag with a huff. "I swear, all I do is work."

"You've got your own personal chauffeur, so it's not too bad." Jennie teases, laughing.

"Boyfriend, not driver," Shawn shoots back with a playful roll of his eyes.

"Potato, potato," Kam shrugs, pulling him toward the door. "Come on, let's go. I'll be late for class."

******

The atmosphere tonight at the football game is electric.

The stadium buzzed with excitement as fans filled the stands, waving banners and wearing team colours. The cool night air was alive with the sounds of cheers and chants, creating a vibrant backdrop for the intense match unfolding on the field.

As I made my way to our seats with Kam and Jennie, I couldn't help but feel a surge of anticipation. The stadium lights illuminated the field, and the cheers grew louder as the game intensified, each play adding to the thrill of the evening.

Amidst the sea of cheering fans, I spotted Shawn waving enthusiastically from a few rows ahead. Kam and Jennie eagerly took their seats beside him, joining in the excitement of the game. The energy of the crowd was contagious, and I found myself cheering and clapping along with everyone else.

The game progressed with nail-biting moments and exhilarating plays, keeping us all on the edge of our seats.

As the game drew to a close, the score remained tied, leading to a tense penalty shootout. The stadium fell silent, the anticipation palpable as Finn stepped up to take the decisive penalty shot. With focused determination, he launched the ball into the net, scoring the winning goal amidst a deafening roar of cheers from the crowd.

The eruption of joy was instantaneous as our team secured the victory with a final score of 4-3. Fans leaped to their feet, waving banners and shouting with exhilaration. Kam, Jennie, Shawn, and I were caught up in the ecstatic frenzy, hugging each other and high-fiving strangers around us.

"Celebratory Party at Bridges Hall" a player announced using the bullhorn using the bullhorn he had cheekily borrowed from the mascot. This sparked a comical chase around the field as the mascot tried to reclaim his bullhorn, much to the amusement of the crowd.

"So we're going?" Jen asks looking at me and Kam.

"You just want a chance to flirt with the players" I tease nudging her side.

"Eh, if flirting hot football players is a crime" she says, raising both wrists with a playful grin.

"Arrest me!" she finishes before turning away with a chuckle.

"Fine, let's go but I'll be leaving early, I have to finish my essay" Kam sigh

"You don't have to come Kam" I laugh.

"Ever heard of FOMO? You can always retake essays, but you relive memories you never had" she says, and I roll my eyes.

******

The party is wild. Bridges Hall is packed, the music so loud it vibrates in my chest. Kam, despite all her talk of essays, is locked in an intense game of beer pong with Shawn, and of course, they're winning. Jennie? She's got her arm draped over the shoulder of the goalkeeper, laughing way too hard at something he said.

I weave through the crowd, heading to the drinks table. Just as I reach for a cup, a familiar figure appears next to me.

"Hey there," Finn says, his voice low, sending a shiver down my spine. "Celebrating?"

I smile, trying to stay cool. "You were amazing tonight."

He grins wider, his eyes dancing as he steps closer, his body brushing against mine. Before I can react, his arm snakes around my waist, pulling me tight against his chest. My heart stutters, heat rising to my cheeks.

"You know," he murmurs, his breath warm against my ear, "I think I deserve a victory hug."

I laugh, nervous. "Finn, come on. Have you forgotten your rule?" I try to keep it light, but my voice wavers.

"Not at all," he whispers, his lips grazing my ear. "But maybe I deserve a little more than a hug." His words hang in the air between us, charged.

Just as he leans in, our lips barely a breath apart, a voice cuts through the noise, sharp and unmistakable.

"Lily?"

My heart skipped a beat as I pulled away from Finn, that voice is familiar. It can't be, he's in Japan. I turn and that's when my heart sinks – it's Nate, He's face mixed with anger, hurt and betrayal

Without another word, he turns and walks out of the party, his footsteps echoing despite the booming bass from the stereo. I follow him out, the cool night air hitting me.

We stood at the front of the building, the buzz of the party still audible behind us, but the tension between us intense.

I called out to Nate, my voice tinged with desperation, "Nate, wait!"

He kept walking, his back rigid. I called out again, louder this time, "Please, just listen!"

Finally, Nate stopped, his shoulders tense as he turned slightly to face me.

"I'm going to ask you three questions," he said, his voice controlled but with a hint of turmoil beneath the surface.

Nate's voice was steady as he began, his back still turned to me. "First question," he started, "do you have any feelings for me?"

My heart sank at the directness of the question. "Nate, let me explain – " I began, but he held up a hand, silencing me letting out a dry bitter laugh.

"Answer the question, Lily." His voice rises, frustration clear now. He turns his head just slightly, enough for me to see the hurt flickering in his eyes. "Do you or do you not have feelings for me?"

I hesitate, but I can't lie. Not to him. Not anymore. "I don't think so," I whisper, my voice barely audible.

"Wow" Nate lets out a bitter laugh, the sound echoing in the empty night.

I'm silent, my heart sinking into my stomach. I can't give him what he wants.

"Second question," he continued, "Do you love him?"

I choke on the air around me. "Nate..."

His body tenses even more. "Do. You. Love. Him?" Each word is a punch, designed to break me down.

"I—" My voice falters, and tears blur my vision. "I haven't figured that part out yet."

"Yeah?" he mutters, his eyes narrowing as he finally turns to face me, his expression dark. "Well, you sure didn't look too confused back there with your tongue practically down his throat."

I flinch like he's hit me. "Please ."

"Then what was it, Lily?" he snaps, stepping closer, his fists still clenched. "What the fuck was it, if it wasn't you choosing him over me?"

"Sor—"

"Last question." His voice cuts through my pleas, his eyes locking onto mine, daring me to lie. "Did you sleep with him?"

My heart clenched as I met his gaze, knowing that my answer would change everything.

The world around me tilts, and I feel like I might collapse under the weight of it. "Nate—"

"Yes or no," he demands, his voice breaking for the first time. "Did you sleep with him?"

"Yes," I whispered, the admission feeling like a knife to my chest. "I did."

"You slept with him?" Nate's voice was sharp, each word laced with a seething rage that sent a chill down my spine. "Was it before or after I told you I loved you?" he spat.

He's hurt, I've hurt him really bad.

The air between us shifts, thick with tension. Nate takes a step back, his face twisting in disbelief. "You slept with him?" His voice is a whisper now, broken, fragile. "Before or after I told you I loved you?"

I can't answer. The silence stretches out, unbearable, and I can feel his heart breaking from where I stand.

"Before or after, Lily?" he repeats, louder this time, his voice shaking with rage.

I swallow hard, my hands trembling. "After," I whisper, the word barely audible, but I know he heard it.

Nate's face contorts into something I barely recognize. His hand flies to his hair, pulling at it in frustration. "After," he repeats, like the word is poison in his mouth. "I can't believe this... I can't fucking believe this."

"Nate, I'm so sorry," I choke out, stepping toward him, but he backs away from me like I'm toxic.

"You're sorry?" His laugh is harsh, jagged, like broken glass. "You're sorry? You slept with him after I told you I fucking loved you, and that's all you have to say? You're fucking sorry?"

I reach out, my hand trembling, desperate to touch him, to fix this. "Nate, please, I didn't mean to hurt you—"

Before I can make contact, Nate jerks away violently, pulling his arm back with so much force that I stumble. My feet slip out from under me, and I fall hard onto the concrete, a sharp sting shooting up my elbow as it scrapes against the rough surface.

I glance down, my elbow scratched and bleeding, but my gaze flickers up to Nate, who's staring down at me like I'm a stranger. His eyes—those same eyes that used to light up when he looked at me—are filled with nothing but rage.

Finn, who had been observing from a distance, rushed forward with concern etched on his face.

"Take it easy, Nate!" Finn's voice cut through the tension, his hands reaching out to help me up from the floor.

As I struggled to regain my footing, Nate's laughter sliced through the air, harsh and bitter.

"You," Nate spat as he walked towards Finn, his fists clenched at his sides. Without warning, he swung a punch at Finn, the force of it catching everyone by surprise.

Gasps echoed around us earning eyes turning to the unfolding scene.

Finn stumbles back, wiping the blood from his lip. His eyes darken, his chest heaving with restrained anger. "Nate, you need to calm the hell down," he growls, wiping his mouth.

But Nate's beyond reasoning. "You're the one who fucked my now ex- girlfriend," he spits, his voice venomous. "And you think you're the good guy in this?"

I watched in horror, tears streaming down my cheeks as Nate lands a second punch lands square in Finn's ribs, and he grunts in pain, doubling over before retaliating with a punch of his own. His fist slams into Nate's face, and blood sprays from his nose.

"Finn!" I cried out, attempting to rush to his side, but a restraining hand stopped me. I turned to see Jen holding me back, her expression filled with concern as she silently urged me not to intervene.

Nate's eyes narrow as he glares at me. "Even now, you defend him?" he scoffs. "Pathetic, fucking bitch, to think I loved you," he seethes, his voice thick with hatred.

I've never seen Nate like this, is this the same guy that remembers my coffee order, smiles so brightly with his dimple peeking out, and got me Mr. Dimps – what did I turn him into.

Finn tackles Nate to the ground, pinning him down as his fists rain down on him, one after the other. The dull thud of each hit echoes in the night, and I watch in horror, frozen, my body trembling with panic.

Nate struggles beneath him, his face bloody, but he manages to shove Finn off with a surge of strength, scrambling to his feet. His chest heaves as he wipes blood from his mouth, his eyes blazing with fury. "Get the fuck off me!" he roars.

"Don't talk to her like that!" Finn snarls, pushing Nate back.

Nate spits blood onto the pavement, his eyes wild. "Oh, now you're her knight in shining armour? Give me a break." He swings again, this time catching Finn in the side of the head.

Finn stumbles, shaking it off before lunging at Nate with a growl, tackling him into the side of a parked car. They grapple, their movements frantic and desperate, each trying to overpower the other

I stand frozen in horror, unable to move. I try to yell for them to stop, but my throat is closed from all the crying.

Shawn and the goalkeeper, Jen was talking to rush forward, shouting as they pull Finn and Nate apart, trying to stop the violence.

"Enough! Break it up!" Shawn's voice cuts through the fight.

Finn's chest heaves with heavy breaths as he glares at Nate, who spits blood on the floor.

Nate's words cut through the chaos like a knife. "Fuck this." He yells, "I never want to see you again!" he spat out bitterly turning to me, his voice filled with anger and betrayal as he walks away.

I bury my face in my hands, tears streaming down. Finn steps away from Shawn and wraps me in his arms, my sobs growing louder against his chest.

Everything hurts. Not because I regret being with Finn, but because I never meant to hurt Nate like this. I hate that I hurt him. He didn't deserve this, and the guilt of breaking him gnaws at me, even if my heart belongs to someone else.